Four Loko
4 Loko is the offspring of a nigger's love for malt liquor and purple drank with a bro's love for energy drinks and cocaine. The drink has gained popularity amongst minorities and party bros and bitches alike due to its ability to make you blackout and mutate your liver for under 3 dollars. The drink also comes in a variety of nauseating flavors, most of which resemble jenkem and are even more potent. This attraction to a drink that both tastes like shit, and makes you feel like shit, attracted a lot of attention when townies began finding shit covered college students on their sofas, or passed out in the street.
- This video just about sums up the 4 Loko experience
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Now in 8 Craptastic Flavors!
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Lemonade:For the bitches in the house, 4 Loko has made a flavor more acidic than vinegar, and more chemical ridden than Russia! Just like a Chernobyl lemonade stand! | |||||
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Watermelon:What kind of malt liquor drink shouldn't come in watermelon flavors? Black by popular demand. | |||||
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Fruit  Punch: 4 Loko's spin on fruit punch tastes as if the offspring of a mad scientist and an alcoholic junkie spiked your highschool prom's punch bowl.
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Cranberry-Lemonade:
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Blue-Raspberry: Blue Raspberry, a flavor born from chemical engineering is now more loaded than ever, how did 4 loko manage to make an already unnatural flavor even more otherworldly? Probably hydrochloric acid, but you'd be too fucked up to know anyway. | |||||
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Orange: Orange, like the tan of the bitch who's drinking it. | |||||
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Lemon-Lime: If a meth-addict were to drink carbonated soda, this would be his version of Sprite. | |||||
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Grape: The negro has a long history of enjoying grape flavored drinks (often referred to as "dranks"), first fortified wine took the streets, MD 20/20 stormed the ghettos, then Purple drank - a combo of cough syrup and grape soda filled black bellies world wide. Now, 4 Loko has invented a drank like no other, imagine 20,000 grape jolly ranchers packed into a can of malt liquor. O lawd. Someone get the rope! | |||||
Jonestown v2.0 and the BanHammer.
In October, 2010, after some seriously wicked 4 Loko partying that caused 20 some college bros to black the fuck out, east coast schools delivered a banhammer to the drink on campus. Shortly after many other schools hopped on the banwaggon, and began lecturing their students about malt-liquor energy drinks such as 4 Loko.[1]
— 4 Loko Fan boy. | ||
Later that November the FDA and other old farts threatened to ban 4 Loko on the basis that it was unsafe. That same day alcoholics all over the world ran out and began to stock up as if it were prohibition all over again, sales were reported to be up by over 9000 percent. To most 4 Loko drinkers the FDA warning only made the drink seem even more badass and encouraged them to drink. 4 Loko was banned in Washington and Ohio after 18th Nov. 2010; banned in New York after 10th December 2010, Oklahoma after 3rd December 2010. Michigan after 4th December, 2010, and Utah PERIOD.
After the ban, 4 Loko reformulated their drink and took away all the shit which made it great. Original versions of the drink were selling on e-bay for 10 bux a can but the supplies have ran dry, and all that's left now is 4Loko Part 2: Mike's Hard in a Can. Nevar 4get.
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Gallery
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Asking for it
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Only the classiest chicks drink Four Loko
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Your mom is a fan
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The best life choices are made while drunk on Four Loko!
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A winnar is you!
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Scene Insanity Wolf recommends Four Loko
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PROTIP: The answer is yes
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Insanity Wolf always dispenses the best advice
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Hardcore
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Giddy up
