User:Benboyce/P Money
P (for Pedophile) Money (known as Peter Wadams to his dear old dad) is a New Zealand rapping wannabe wigger and convictedadmitted-it-and-discharged-without-conviction sex offender.
He was unheard of by everyone except douchebag clubbers and Kiwi Music Month fans, before he was given name suppression by Judge Eddie Paul after sexually assaulting an underage girl.
The event
P Money was drinking in Wellington with a bunch of entertainers. While walking down the street he met a group of girls who mistook him for someone famous. Being a short, white, ugly-looking man, Wadams was taken aback by interest from the female sex.
Reaching out as best he could to another human being. He found the girl who wanted it least, pulled down his pants exposing he genitals, and told them to "kiss his balls". As P Money had no balls, he grabbed one of the girls by the head and shoved her face to his genitals. She stated she felt his small penis on his cheek.
Understandably taken aback by the sexual assault, the girl and her family later called the police.
Justice in New Zealand
New Zealand, being a small shithole in the Pacific, heading towards Tonga economically, loves anything famous. We go on about Lucy Lawless and some 15 hour long tale for nerds. The last famous person to visit was the band Air Supply, which made frontpage news for 3 days.
During the court case, P Money pleaded that his upcoming tour, ticket sales and reputation was more important than justice for what he'd done. Judge Eddie Paul agreed, and decreed a writ of "boys will be boys". He also declared that no-one in New Zealand could mention this event again.
The beauty of this from Wadams perspective, is that if the girl had not pressed charges, she could have let people know his name and sell the story to the magazines. By pressing charges it guaranteed that his crime would remain secret.
Like most judges and politicians, Eddie Paul had never heard of the internet. About 5 minutes after P Money was charged, he name was circulated widely. Perhaps by anonymous. Depressed blogger Cameron Slater was charged for displaying a cryptic clue (a drug NZers call P, and a picture of money) on his website.
The government decided it would do something about name suppression, so it increased the penalty for breaking the rules a little bit.
Unfortunately for P Money and his lawyers, these laws do not apply outside of New Zealand.