View source for Peter Jennings died, so I'm going to quit smoking


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Peter Jennings, the [[old media]] shill known best for his ABC special ''[[Aliens|UFOs]]: Seeing is Believing'', and [[over 9000|thousands of hours]] covering the [[OJ Simpson]] and [[Michael Jackson]] trials died of [[GRIDS|lung cancer]]. This is mostly attributed to his [[smoking]] habit. Jennings smoked 3 [[cocks]] per day, one of which was the [[STD|syphilis]] infected penis of [[Bill O'Reilly]].

[[Image:173836.jpg|thumb|In the [[future]], Jennings will be resurrected.]]

Peter Jennings was a [[cooldude|wise man]]. He decided years ago that its better to look cool (be a [[poser|smoker]]), than to be a [[basement dweller|dork]] that lives to be 90. He got laid on a regular basis, as opposed to the makers of the *[[lies|Truth campaign]], who are known to not even [[rape|fuck]] each other.

But I digress...

==Peter Jennings died, so I'm going to quit smoking==
This was a huge [[IRL]] [[meme]] for a few weeks, until America forgot who Peter Jennings was. Quitting-smoking services saw a sharp increase in [[profit|profits]] as suckers attempt to kick the [[drugs|habit]] that they're in love with. The fact is, [[statistics|80%]] of smokers cannot quit. Once you get a taste of the [[hookers and blow|candy]], it's really too hard to give up. 

But yeah, Peter Jennings had a shitty life, being one of the biggest newscasters in the world, having millions of dollars and a relatively [[ugly|attractive wife]] of many years. Who wants to be like that? I'm gonna quit smoking today!

==[[Tim Russert]] Died, so I'm going to quit eating==
Yes, it's a [[fact]] that since [[Tim Russert|Old Timmy]] gave up the (obese) ghost, [[moar]] and [[moar]] [[fat|fat fucks]] are quitting the salad bar IRL. Said Fat Fucks see [[Tim Russert]] in the same way that smokers saw Jennings, a sympathetic [[Old Media]] [[Lemonparty|codger]]-[[loli|posterchild]] who got B& IRL for having a habit so many [[America|Americunts]] share. Just wait until some [[Old Media]] PPL die of [[internet]]s use!

==Other People who Died of Cancer==
*[[Bill Hicks]]
*[[God]]
*[[Anonymous]]
*[[Your Mom]]
*[[/b/]]
*[[Heath Ledger]]
*[[Cancer|Patrick Swayze]]

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