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[[At least 100 years ago]] some [[Spaniards]] who thought Mexico wasn't [[hot]] and dry enough got lost and [[accidentally]] discovered New Mexico. [[Failing]] to find the lost city of [[gold]], they promptly [[slavery|enslaved]] the local Indians (feather, not [[India|dot]]) due to their lack of [[lulz]], but then Chief [[Pope|Popé]] [[piss]]ed on their [[tortillas]], went "[[NO U]]," and began a party of [[rape]] and [[bike|plunder]] affectionately dubbed the "[[alcoholism|Pueblo Revolt]]." The good times would be short-lived however as [[racism|Manifest Destiny]] ultimately [[permabanned]] the Injuns to their present-day status of casinos and side-of-the-road trinket shops. The steady influx of [[redneck]] [[Americunts]] led to a boom in [[meth]], retirement communities, and of course the [[Scientology|Scilon bunker]] with the weird crop circles which does not exist somewhere beyond the mountains in the North, and there is also not a town in the South that worships [[Xenu]]. | [[At least 100 years ago]] some [[Spaniards]] who thought Mexico wasn't [[hot]] and dry enough got lost and [[accidentally]] discovered New Mexico. [[Failing]] to find the lost city of [[gold]], they promptly [[slavery|enslaved]] the local Indians (feather, not [[India|dot]]) due to their lack of [[lulz]], but then Chief [[Pope|Popé]] [[piss]]ed on their [[tortillas]], went "[[NO U]]," and began a party of [[rape]] and [[bike|plunder]] affectionately dubbed the "[[alcoholism|Pueblo Revolt]]." The good times would be short-lived however as [[racism|Manifest Destiny]] ultimately [[permabanned]] the Injuns to their present-day status of casinos and side-of-the-road trinket shops. The steady influx of [[redneck]] [[Americunts]] led to a boom in [[meth]], retirement communities, and of course the [[Scientology|Scilon bunker]] with the weird crop circles which does not exist somewhere beyond the mountains in the North, and there is also not a town in the South that worships [[Xenu]]. | ||
In [[9/11|recent times]], New Mexico has been [[zerg rush]]ed by [[Mexicans|Old Mexicans]] who claim to have "[[I did it for the lulz|hecho le para los lulz]]." The show [[Breaking Bad]] has made New Mexico famous for another shitty reason: [[meth]] labs and crazy ass [[hillbillies]]. After the recent [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tpAZObNZfI murder of a homeless man], New Mexico was once again brought to international attention, adding another negative (albeit true) stereotype - | In [[9/11|recent times]], New Mexico has been [[zerg rush]]ed by [[Mexicans|Old Mexicans]] who claim to have "[[I did it for the lulz|hecho le para los lulz]]." The show [[Breaking Bad]] has made New Mexico famous for another shitty reason: [[meth]] labs and crazy ass [[hillbillies]]. After the recent [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tpAZObNZfI murder of a homeless man], New Mexico was once again brought to international attention, adding another negative (albeit true) stereotype - '''bloodthirsty killer [[cops]]'''. Statistically speaking, Albuquerque cops rack up the [http://krqe.com/2014/04/10/comparison-apd-shoots-kills-more-than-other-agencies/ highest kill count] out of all [[Police]] departments in the entirety of the [[United States]]. The APD has had a reputation for [[Faggotry|extreme violence]] for [[True|more than 100 years]]. | ||
Sometime in [[2014]], a [[13 year old boy]] named '''Mason Campbell''', decided it was a good idea to steal his parent's [[shotgun|gun]], saw it off, and sneak it into his school in a guitar case. He then pulled it out, [[retard|fired it at the ceiling]] randomly, then out of nowhere, shot some random girl instead of the [[bully|bullies]] who fucked with him. To further add insult to injury, the dumbass used birdshot shells that do a lot less damage than normal which ensured the victim easily survived. He then got tackled and shackled because he was too much of a pussy to [[an hero]]. He will now spend his life in custody until he is 21 years of age. New Mexico sucks so much that it can't even produce any decent mass murderers, unlike it's [[lie|vastly superior]] [[Colorado|neighbor to the north]]. | Sometime in [[2014]], a [[13 year old boy]] named '''Mason Campbell''', decided it was a good idea to steal his parent's [[shotgun|gun]], saw it off, and sneak it into his school in a guitar case. He then pulled it out, [[retard|fired it at the ceiling]] randomly, then out of nowhere, shot some random girl instead of the [[bully|bullies]] who fucked with him. To further add insult to injury, the dumbass used birdshot shells that do a lot less damage than normal which ensured the victim easily survived. He then got tackled and shackled because he was too much of a pussy to [[an hero]]. He will now spend his life in custody until he is 21 years of age. New Mexico sucks so much that it can't even produce any decent mass murderers, unlike it's [[lie|vastly superior]] [[Colorado|neighbor to the north]]. | ||
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*Not enough [[Asians]] to do your homework for you, thus [[Retard|bringing down the average]]. Worst still, the Yellows in the state are mostly in the [[Crips|Triad]]. | *Not enough [[Asians]] to do your homework for you, thus [[Retard|bringing down the average]]. Worst still, the Yellows in the state are mostly in the [[Crips|Triad]]. | ||
*For the people who live there, they have to put up with [[fags|Boy Scouts]] in the Summer. Some lulz gained when the fat shits wearing $300 "hiking" boots and carrying $500 in survival gear get [[lost]]. | *For the people who live there, they have to put up with [[fags|Boy Scouts]] in the Summer. Some lulz gained when the fat shits wearing $300 "hiking" boots and carrying $500 in survival gear get [[lost]]. | ||
*Almost as fail as [[Kansas]] for being LANDLOCKED and still having [[Katrina|hurricanes]] and [[Meatspin|tornadoes]] turning most of the state into [[Atlantis]] | *Almost as fail as [[Kansas]] for being LANDLOCKED and still having [[Katrina|hurricanes]] and [[Meatspin|tornadoes]] turning most of the state into [[Atlantis]]. | ||
*It's basically Texas with less [[stuff]]. | *It's basically Texas with less [[stuff]]. | ||
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[[File:Redneckgalore.jpg|thumb|right|A typical Aztec teen.]] | [[File:Redneckgalore.jpg|thumb|right|A typical Aztec teen.]] | ||
*'''[[Hillbilly|Aztec]]''': another obscure oil town near [[hell|Farmington]], consisting of welfare whores, trailer trash and roughneck scumbags, with nothing to do but abuse meth and [[Xbox 360]]. Unsurprisingly, the high school graduation rate at '''Aztec High School''' is only [[retard|42%]]. Speaking of '''AHS''', common events in that shitty high school include {{Archive|Ie4wB|Forcibly performing oral sex on others}} and drunk driving. All the good places to go like the [[Wicca|Maiden, and Chrome]], [[Salvia|Herb Shop]], and the Aztec UFO Festival are gone for good, just like the rest of downtown, so there's no reason to live here anymore. On the upside, [[Colorado]] is only an 11-mile drive north, and you do realize what they [[marijuana|made legal]], right? There's also the Aztec Ruins, but it gets boring after 3 minutes. Good job traveling 500 miles into the middle of nowhere, you sorry ass tourists. Most Aztec residents make a living for themselves by flocking west to Farmington or up north to Durango for their jobs, or scatter into the ugly desert wasteland/hills near the edges of the Animas River to get to work in the oil fields. Oh, and selling a metric fuckton amount of Meth or sucking off each other. This town is so shitty that 13 year olds would rather {{Archive|GdGo4|blow their brains out}} than grow up here. There have been up to a dozen cases of teen suicide in this town of 6,000 but due to the way America suppresses suicides from the media (yet makes any [[mass shooter]] into an overnight celebrity) few of the residents know shit about the truth of this shithole town. Aztec has found its self in some hot water in late 2017 after | *'''[[Hillbilly|Aztec]]''': another obscure oil town near [[hell|Farmington]], consisting of welfare whores, trailer trash and roughneck scumbags, with nothing to do but abuse meth and [[Xbox 360]]. Unsurprisingly, the high school graduation rate at '''Aztec High School''' is only [[retard|42%]]. Speaking of '''AHS''', common events in that shitty high school include {{Archive|Ie4wB|Forcibly performing oral sex on others}} and drunk driving. All the good places to go like the [[Wicca|Maiden, and Chrome]], [[Salvia|Herb Shop]], and the Aztec UFO Festival are gone for good, just like the rest of downtown, so there's no reason to live here anymore. On the upside, [[Colorado]] is only an 11-mile drive north, and you do realize what they [[marijuana|made legal]], right? There's also the Aztec Ruins, but it gets boring after 3 minutes. Good job traveling 500 miles into the middle of nowhere, you sorry ass tourists. Most Aztec residents make a living for themselves by flocking west to Farmington or up north to Durango for their jobs, or scatter into the ugly desert wasteland/hills near the edges of the Animas River to get to work in the oil fields. Oh, and selling a metric fuckton amount of Meth or sucking off each other. This town is so shitty that 13 year olds would rather {{Archive|GdGo4|blow their brains out}} than grow up here. There have been up to a dozen cases of teen suicide in this town of 6,000 but due to the way America suppresses suicides from the media (yet makes any [[mass shooter]] into an overnight celebrity) few of the residents know shit about the truth of this shithole town. Aztec has found its self in some hot water in late 2017 after ED's own [[AlGore]] shot two noobz in '''AHS''' then [[Fail|became an hero after getting cucked by a couch]]. | ||
[[File:WelcomeToMexico.jpeg|thumb|right|What will happen to you if you visit Belen.]] | [[File:WelcomeToMexico.jpeg|thumb|right|What will happen to you if you visit Belen.]] | ||
*'''[[Detroit|Belen]]''': shitty small town 35 miles south of Albuquerque. Run-down with broken houses and a high crime rate, even having Drug Cartel influence. The population is 80% Hispanic, with what remains being white people who are either trailer trash youth or retired WW2 veterans. [[no|Is it a coincidence]] that there's so much crime? Belen [[lie|wasn't always]] as bad as it is now; a decade ago there was still some development, even a few thousand more people around. But the mexicunt methhead morons in charge wouldn't let the town grow and taxed the fuck out of small businesses. Now, it's practically a ghost town; average Real Estate is under [[Over 9000|$80,000!]] There have been a handful of notable people from this town. The Serial Killer, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Parker_Ray David Parker Ray], was from here. Some dumb bitch named [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tara_Calico Tara Calico] was abducted in Belen and the case remains unsolved nearly 30 years later. [[Hollywood]] has taken interest in Belen, with over 20 movies being filmed here, mostly after [[2008]]. This causes hordes of Californians to [[Zerg Rush]] the town in the hopes of being in a movie or sucking off some actors, often to be in said movies. | *'''[[Detroit|Belen]]''': shitty small town 35 miles south of Albuquerque. Run-down with broken houses and a high crime rate, even having Drug Cartel influence. The population is 80% Hispanic, with what remains being white people who are either trailer trash youth or retired WW2 veterans. [[no|Is it a coincidence]] that there's so much crime? Belen [[lie|wasn't always]] as bad as it is now; a decade ago there was still some development, even a few thousand more people around. But the mexicunt methhead morons in charge wouldn't let the town grow and taxed the fuck out of small businesses. Now, it's practically a ghost town; average Real Estate is under [[Over 9000|$80,000!]] There have been a handful of notable people from this town. The Serial Killer, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Parker_Ray David Parker Ray], was from here. Some dumb bitch named [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tara_Calico Tara Calico] was abducted in Belen and the case remains unsolved nearly 30 years later. [[Hollywood]] has taken interest in Belen, with over 20 movies being filmed here, mostly after [[2008]]. This causes hordes of Californians to [[Zerg Rush]] the town in the hopes of being in a movie or sucking off some actors, often to be in said movies. | ||
*'''[[Redneck|Bloomfield]]''': town south of Aztec filled with slightly richer roughnecks currently experiencing a slight economic boom from the oil fields. Also features ruins from [[at least 100]] years ago. ''Bloomfield'' made the news for typical redneck faggotry. Since [[2007]], they had a statue of the 10 commandments built on government property, which is a clear violation of the constitutional 101 "Separation of Church and State". | *'''[[Redneck|Bloomfield]]''': town south of Aztec filled with slightly richer roughnecks currently experiencing a slight economic boom from the oil fields. Also features ruins from [[at least 100]] years ago. ''Bloomfield'' made the news for typical redneck faggotry. Since [[2007]], they had a statue of the 10 commandments built on government property, which is a clear violation of the constitutional 101 "Separation of Church and State". The Statue has since been moved to a local church. Some rednecks made threats to commit mass murder ("go [[Postal]]") should anyone try to take away their beloved statue. Chrisfags are [[Sarcasm|such a loving, peaceful people.]] And you cant forget all of the fags getting stabed, shot, or eaten. | ||
<center><youtube>ni8_XMA3Cd8</youtube></center> | <center><youtube>ni8_XMA3Cd8</youtube></center> | ||
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*Elizabeth Lambert, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1kz9Xk-b7I "World's dirtiest soccer player."] Punched out [[over 9000]] [[Mormon|BYU]] soccer players and only received 1 yellow card. | *Elizabeth Lambert, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1kz9Xk-b7I "World's dirtiest soccer player."] Punched out [[over 9000]] [[Mormon|BYU]] soccer players and only received 1 yellow card. | ||
*[[Dramasetter]], an [[EQ2]] player who robbed a Check N' Go | *[[Dramasetter]], an [[EQ2]] player who robbed a Check N' Go | ||
*[[D-malice]], an unfunny former [[EDiot]] who would get severe butthurt anytime someone other than him made revisions to this article. | *[[D-malice]], an unfunny former [[EDiot]] and pedophile who would get severe butthurt anytime someone other than him made revisions to this article. | ||
*[[William Atchison]] - AKA [[User:AlGore|AlGore]]. A former [[edgelord]] EDiot who was obsessed with [[school shooting]]s. Decided to try it for himself and [[FAIL|FUCKING FAILED]]. [[Pwn|Pwned]] a grand total of two kids before downing some [[shotgun mouthwash]]. | |||
*[[Noone]] else matters | *[[Noone]] else matters | ||
== See Also == | == See Also == | ||
*[[Meth]] - State Plant | *[[Meth]] - State Plant | ||
*[[New Mexico Compound]] | |||
*[[BrokeNCYDE]] | *[[BrokeNCYDE]] | ||
*[[Nothing]] | *[[Nothing]] | ||