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{{ | {{center|<small>Apple's ability to innovate has been slow in recent years. Take the iPhone 7 for example it's secretly an S model ;) See below Apple's innovation monitor; the clock is ticking. Meanwhile [[Samsung Sam|Samsung]] is taking the lead.</small>|center}} | ||
{{center|{{frame|[[Image:heart_monitor.gif|750px|center]]|borderstyle=1px solid red|background=red|borderwidth=3px}}|center}} | |||
[[Image:AppleBanner1.jpg|thumb|left|[[Hipsters|Ein Volk]], [[Steve Jobs|Ein Führer]], [[GRIDS|Ein GRIDS]]]][[Image:Macvspc2.jpg|center]]<br/> | [[Image:AppleBanner1.jpg|thumb|left|[[Hipsters|Ein Volk]], [[Steve Jobs|Ein Führer]], [[GRIDS|Ein GRIDS]]]][[Image:Macvspc2.jpg|center]]<br/> | ||
[[Image:Apple | [[Image:Apple;think-different.jpg|thumb|250px|Think different.]] | ||
[[Image:Apple_windows_car_fix_comparison.jpg|thumb|275px|One picture explains it all.]] | [[Image:Apple_windows_car_fix_comparison.jpg|thumb|275px|One picture explains it all.]] | ||
[[Image:Apple users.jpg|thumb | [[Image:Apple users.jpg|thumb|250px|Apple users rushing to pay for that new Service Pack called "Snow Leopard".]] | ||
[[Image:Linux_osx_shot.JPG|thumb | [[Image:Linux_osx_shot.JPG|thumb|250px|Stupid linux user [[doing it wrong]].]] | ||
<b>HOLY FUCKING SHIT APPLE IS SUING A YOUTUBER FOR MAKING A TUTORIAL ON HOW TO FIX MACBOOKS!!!11! [http://www.gamerevolution.com/features/free-speech-under-attack-youtuber--repair-specialist-louis-rossmann-alludes-to-apple-lawsuit LINK]</b> | |||
[[Anal Prolapse|'''Apple''']] is a computer company that [[Liar|claims they are not a computer company]]. Their biggest claim to fame is that they invented the [[PC]] even though it was actually invented by [[the Man|the CTC]] <!--Computer Terminal Corp. (dubious)-->. Apple is also known as that one company that had to be paid by [[Microsoft]] to stay in business. Led by all-star [[faggot]] Time Cook, who spends [[Disney|more time virtual signaling about liberal politics rather than actually making a good product]] like how Steve Jobs did, and [[lemonparty|a bunch of other old faggots]], Apple is the favorite high-tech company of [[Avant-garde|"artistes"]] everywhere. This is because people believe Apple makes awesome [[shit|computers]] that off-sets their exorbitant price by becoming obsolete only once a week. The truth is, they are merely victims of the [[Reality Distortion Field]]. While Apple may have done some [[mantrain|neat things in the past]], they are now just a patent troll. | |||
Apple | Apple users are the most annoying computer fans on the planet, just slightly ahead of [[Linux]] users. They are continuously bragging about how easy a one-button mouse is, how great the benefits of the "genie" effect are, and act like [[BSD]] was just invented. Unfortunately, if you own an Apple product, you will gain [[AIDS|affection]] from the [[homosexual]] community. | ||
Apple has | Apple has more money than the federal government, while both being run by [[Jews]]. Apple however, falls behind in [[Steve Jobs|Jobs]], a known [[sand niggers|sand nigger]] . | ||
Apple has borne an unearthly hatred for [[Microsoft]] ever since they stole their [[OS]] to make [[Windows]] , while [[Bill Gates]] still rakes in the cash from all those [[Microsoft Office]] sales. People who claim to like Mac computers can typically be found wearing [[Insane Clown Posse]] t-shirts or other [[Gay|trendy]] clothing. | |||
According to a survey taken in early 2000, Apple had sold a total of 315 Macs to customers on two continents. However, with Apple's recent success, these figures have seen a great increase. A moar recent study shows that Apple now has 908 owners on 3 continents, all of which are female college students, gay hipsters, or old people with poor eyesight who mistook a MacBook for a TV tray table. This leaves Apple only slightly behind Microsoft's user base of 4.6 billion, less [[retarded]], customers. | |||
Rumor has it that after being questioned about Apple's move to [[Intel]], [[Steve Jobs]] answered "[[I did it for the lulz]]". | |||
On August 24, 2011, Steve Jobs announced his resignation as CEO of Apple as a result of his long, so called battle with [[AIDS|"cancer"]]. Appropriately, he named his successor and {{archive|ogmbf|known faggot}}, Tim Cook. After Jobs's vitamin C treatment failed, and he was pwned by the [[GRIDS]] that September, Cook's high-powered ass-ramming came full circle. | |||
== Apple Users == | == Apple Users == | ||
[[File:TypicalAppleFanboy.jpg|200px|right|[[Typical]] Apple fanboy.]] | [[File:TypicalAppleFanboy.jpg|200px|right|[[Typical]] Apple fanboy.]] | ||
[[Image:Mac-think-different-urinal.jpg|thumb | [[Image:Mac-think-different-urinal.jpg|thumb|Mac; think different.]] | ||
[[Image:MacGaysLinuxPedophiles.jpg|thumb | [[Image:MacGaysLinuxPedophiles.jpg|thumb|Studies show that Mac users are gay]]. | ||
[[File:MacCustomers.jpg|thumb|Customers of all walks of life are drawn to Mac's charm.]] | [[File:MacCustomers.jpg|thumb|[[Faggots|Customers]] of all walks of life are drawn to Mac's charm.]] | ||
{{quote|Once a macfag, always a macfag.| Tyler Pittman|ED Mailing List.}} | {{quote|Once a macfag, always a macfag.| Tyler Pittman|ED Mailing List.}} | ||
{{quote|I | {{quote|I'll buy anything if it's shiny and made by Apple.|Typical Apple User; The Onion.}} | ||
{{quote|If I had the choice between being gay and owning a Mac, I would rather be gay because if I owned a Mac, I would be both gay and own a horrible computer.|Reliable source}} | {{quote|If I had the choice between being gay and owning a Mac, I would rather be gay because if I owned a Mac, I would be both gay and own a horrible computer.|Reliable source}} | ||
{{quote|your an idiot my mac would shit on you. it can because i custom build it. my mac has a 12 core profcessor over clocked at 4.2gz, it also has an nvidia quadro 6000 6gb graphics card, 64gbs of ram, and a 8,000 gbs of harddrive. i run 13 different operating systems on it|Real quote from a wild mac user}} | {{quote|your an idiot my mac would shit on you. it can because i custom build it. my mac has a 12 core profcessor over clocked at 4.2gz, it also has an [[nvidia]] quadro 6000 6gb graphics card, 64gbs of ram, and a 8,000 gbs of harddrive. i run 13 different operating systems on it|Real quote from a wild mac user}} | ||
'''Apple users are noobs.''' Apple users believe that they are better than you are because they pay so much for a shitty computer to be shiny with an apple logo on it, but what they don't know is that Macs were originally (and are still today) made purely for watching gay porn. People who subscribe to [[Slavery|Apple's corporate philosophy]] often espouse the notion that Apple products are somehow inherently more [[liberal]] than other things built out of metal and silicon. While this is true for the special case of [[Ann Coulter]], Apple users are in all other cases simply the delusional but willing victims of trendy advertising, which makes expensive [[computers]] made by [[communists]] appear to be a counter-culture political statement. | |||
Apple users are simply [[fucktards]] who will believe anything they see in a commercial, as long as it agrees with the knee-jerk opinions they have already formed from other advertisements. Thanks to iPods built with [[Reality Distortion Field|alien mind control technology]] they are unable to conceive existence outside of music, video, images, and [[Crapp|Crapps]]. It is these legions of iPhone humping [[faggots] and [[hipsters]], with their thick black framed glasses and faddish hair hairstyles, who are the stormtroopers of the [[faggotry]]. [[Art school]] students can be found with a Mac, which provides them that much needed inferior computing flexibility, for their ultimately useless and [[gay]] degree with huge piles of debt from buying Apple's shit on top of funding a laughably overpriced and ultimately USELESS degree. | |||
People make jokes relating to the Apple user's main preoccupation - proselytizing for Apple. No sooner than they spend their hard earned jewgolds on a shiny new gadget from Cupertino. They spend their entire lives stuffing that fact down the throats of all their friends, family, and anyone else forced to speak to them. They go on at length about the longevity of their expensive hardware while they save moar monies ready for the version to shove up their ass. Enforcement of these cult like agenda seems to have the word "Proprietary" at the heart of it. Proprietary file types and plugs. This is one of the methods by which Macfags are kept loyal to the brand, with no point in trying to any competitors products because they aren't [[Retarded|simple]] enough. | |||
People make jokes relating to the Apple | |||
Here is a typical argument between Apple and Microsoft tools: | |||
*PC user: Oh hey mac user, what have you been up to? | *PC user: Oh hey mac user, what have you been up to? | ||
Line 68: | Line 65: | ||
*PC user: Bottom line is, Mac can never properly compete with Windows because of economies of scale. Even the connotation of the abbreviation "PC" is Windows. What you pay for is a highly overpriced computer with a visual appeal and a sense of "coolness" attached to it. | *PC user: Bottom line is, Mac can never properly compete with Windows because of economies of scale. Even the connotation of the abbreviation "PC" is Windows. What you pay for is a highly overpriced computer with a visual appeal and a sense of "coolness" attached to it. | ||
== To the Apple CEOs, who must have viewed this page at some point == | |||
How to make more money and make more of a fan base | |||
Lower the price, Steve Jobs never wanted to price out the customer. | |||
Make you're product line smaller. We don't need many versions of the same product. | |||
Have better specs. | |||
== MacPro 2013 a design that will last the next decade == | |||
I hope they did not mean that literally. Their flagship computer the MacPro has been neglected since 2013 no updates at all even specs. | |||
Apple came out today 4/4/2017. Apologizing to its pro users. Apple, it's not your fault its Tim Cook's- he has no innovation time for a new CEO. | |||
==Products== | |||
[[Image: Nametheschizo.jpg|thumb|"Apple has....always... focused on innovation...removing parts which......which made me wet my pants...and the doctors didn't.....didn't give me my pills this morning...."]] | |||
When Steve Jobs returned, he fired some people and hired Apple's current and only designer - former mental patient Jonathan Ive, who appears each time any new product is launched, appearing partially sedated. Like most people who put together Apple products, Johnny is evidently pushed too far. Often in product-launch videos, he struggles to find new words to describe recycled product designs - literally taking fives minutes between each word to think of something new to say - but realising that's impossible, so he returns to saying what he said the last time around. | |||
Laughable Ive-isms include: ''"The <product name>....is the best <product name>...Apple has produced yet..."'' and ''"Apple has....always focused on innovation"'' | |||
'''Phone Toys:''' | |||
In 2007 apple decided to bring the phone to the homosexuals/hipsters - and created the [[iPhone]]. Fanboys wept cum tears as they fapped over the ability to [[masturbation|shake their screens]], courtesy of gyroscopes which were invented hundreds of years before Apple came about - of course Apple will try to have you think otherwise. | |||
The iPhone continued to be boring until late summer 2014, when the sixth mutation of glass and aluminum was rushed onto the market to cover up [[The_Fappening|Apple's iCloud fuck-up]]. Hipsters everywhere found to their dismay that they weren't actually stoned - that their iPhone666 was infact {{Archive|0xlys|warping in their pocket}} - that and Speedy Joe [[lol|sold them flour and not cocaine]]. | |||
[[ | |||
Perhaps an Apple has a plan to convert hipsters to homosexuals? [[Potential|Will it work?]] [[No|Will it be an improvement?]] | |||
'''Old Toys:''' | '''Old Toys:''' | ||
[[Image: Colorsforeverybathroom.jpg|thumb|With | [[Image: Colorsforeverybathroom.jpg|thumb|With colors to match ones in most domestic bathrooms, the G3 was the toilet seat of choice in the late 90's.]] | ||
Ive started in his job at | Johnathan Ive started in his job at Apple by creating the [[Unoriginal|faggy G3]] - a normal computer with a load of faggy plastic, before a year later giving the word [[Toilet_Seat|a more colourful laptop version]] - otherwise knows as the iBook. Realising that was it and that he didn't have any further original ideas, Jonny had a mental breakdown, and inspired by his mental ward, he went all John-Lennon-minimalist with the next iMac: the [[Gay|G4]]. For the first and only time - an Apple product had some functionality in its hardware design. | ||
Years later, he created the G5 imac, which Blow Jobs decreed at some WWDC Faggotry club seminar as: ''"It's all nice and flat, see that?"''. Changing to Intel processors meant that it was easier to disguise the fact to Apple fags that they haven't upgraded the machine at all, so the design of all of their products has remained the same since this period. | |||
Seven [[PowerPC]] fans gathered in Cupertino, California in order to collectively slit their wrists at the Intel switch | Seven [[PowerPC]] fans gathered in Cupertino, California in order to collectively slit their wrists at the Intel switch upon announcement. This was meant to protest Apple's move to [[Intel]], but instead provided welcome industrial dye for the new [[U2]]-endorsed, strawberry-flavored iMac. | ||
'''Current toys:''' | '''Current toys:''' | ||
Apple doesn't know who it's audience is | In fact, none of their products have changed since then. Ironic how Apple always went on and on and on about how [[Vista#Vista_Technology|Vista]] took five years to come about, yet the Mac Pro hasn't changed in over a decade. Along the way the iPhone was thrown in, along with the iPad - Apple obsesses over these, and seems to shun professional products because they don't like anybody with an independent thought. | ||
Apple doesn't know who it's audience is because they have made so much money from selling overpriced slices of aluminum and never particularly cared. Back in '06 they thought gamers were using their machine, because they've never bothered to comprehend gaming laptops. | |||
[[Image: nextgenerationofipad.jpg|thumb|Of course, this concept will never become reality, because it has two knobs, which will be too complicated for Apple users.]] | [[Image: nextgenerationofipad.jpg|thumb|Of course, this concept will never become reality, because it has two knobs, which will be too complicated for Apple users.]] | ||
[[Image:applecoffeemaker2.png|thumb | [[Image:applecoffeemaker2.png|thumb|*Cups sold separately.]] | ||
[[File:Iphone 10 tallest iphone yet.jpg|thumb| | [[File:Iphone 10 tallest iphone yet.jpg|thumb|If she neglects you in favor of a vibrating device that she has access to 24 hours a day, 365 days, you are coming up short.]] | ||
Apple consumers are just that: consumers. They're people who buy shit just because they saw it on TV. Apple consumers are the type of people who are stupid enough to buy a $1000 [[Macbook_Air]] or Pro, however, they are now the same thing. The laptop has one USB port and no DVD/CD drive, or even a fucking ethernet port. But it can fit inside a manila envelope, which is [[Shit|''such'' a useful function]]. Currently Apple thinks everybody uses an iPad as their primary work machine, which is a myth as the only people who use them include 11 year olds who don't know any better. People who spent all their money on Apple products that they now ride a bus, and of course [[Objectophilia|Apple fags]]. | |||
On the subject of the smaller and even cheaper to produce products | Creative people who used macs because they are too lazy to build their own computers, are now leaving Apple, as Mountain Lion totally can't comprehend Photoshop, Illustrator, Premier Pro or anything by Adobe. And Final Cut Pro is now more or less iMovie, but spending more money for iMovie is pointless, unless you have more money than you have IQ. It's also a LOT slower, and for some reason looks like a car dashboard, which appeal to hipsters. | ||
On the subject of the smaller and even cheaper to produce products: they'll also buy an iPod Nano or iPod Shuffle, even if they already own an iPhone, because all Apple fans are [[Hipsters|trendy fags]] who wear tight chino pants so they can't fit a regular-sized iPod in their pocket. Instead of paying $30 for a pair of pants with bigger pockets, they would rather spend $70-$160 on a toy that'll be obsolete the following week. | |||
'''Future products:''' | '''Future products:''' | ||
[[Image:Macuser.jpg|thumb | [[Image:Macuser.jpg|thumb|150px|Notice the enjoyment he is receiving from ingesting his own feces]] | ||
Apple's philosophy is to take the last model, and make it thinner. They market such products to fanboys | Apple's philosophy is to either take the last model, and make it thinner, or make it longer. They market such products to fanboys, who believe anything Apple says as being useful, because said product is lighter. But the reason everybody else knows behind ever-thinner and lighter products is because it's cheaper to ship, meaning more money for the Apple Execs to spend on [[hookers and blow]]. At least the fanboys of Alienware get a free velvet pouch, cap, DVD disk, and BluRay drive as well. Costing less than a $1,000 mac with a much slower processor that's only purchased by anyone dumb enough to believe Apple marketing. | ||
Future Apple products are now being designed by a mental patients, and paid for by [[Jews|investment bankers]], which makes their products unique. Whereas other computers are merely built by people with silly computing qualifications. | |||
Of course, Apple fanboys will always believe that they're getting value for money because their machine works quite well right now, however, everyone else knows once OSeX is upgraded their browsers won't be supported, forcing them to upgrade. | |||
What's also funny is that at D10, CEO Tim Fookup stated "...I believe that the tablet market would eventually surpass the PC market", signalling that Apple thinks it's future is in catering for the people featured in their marketing photos; toothless [[Spics]] and [[Azn|Azns]] who love shiny things because they live in grinding, abject poverty. He babbled on further stating "...as much as I love my mac...I uh...*scratches ass for a few moments* find myself spending more time on my iPad", a statement which clearly isn't the most poorly executed sales pitch ever. | |||
Their newest [[Mac OS|OSeX]] anally rapes hipster creatives when Mountain [[Furry|Lion]] is installed, making it spaz out when attempting to run [[Adobe®_Photoshop®|Photoshop]] - and heaven forbid you try to edit your porno film on iMovie. They couldn't be asked when inquiring on upgrading the Opera browser. | |||
(View Tim Cook evading questions at D10 [http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=eUAPHgiEniQ here]. His first fail is at a questioned asked a 04:37) | |||
And yet, apple fans STILL think they're getting a good deal, but in reality the only good deal they're going to get is to sell their products short before they lose all of their value. Even the most slothful of [[hipsters]] are now doing it. | |||
Indeed, the future is shit-colored at Apple with Tim [[Cuck]] as the new emperor. Even emos have either gone up in the world by buying a PC or have gone to living in the streets. So there is only a handful of trust fund college kids to care, and a shit load of [[13 year old boys]], who can't get enough of the boring shit. | |||
At WWDC in 2013, Apple tried really hard to sell it's products again. They think this can be done by producing a new OS X named after some crappy band from the 80's/90's, a new coffee machine called the mac pro, and some upgrades to the macbook air, and not at all by lowering its prices. | |||
===It's not shiny...IT'S GOLD!!!!=== | |||
In 2015, Apple released a new macbook - a [[shit|product]] they keep taking offline and [[retarded|bringing back again time after time]]. This time though, it reached new apple standards of pointlessness - here's a breakdown: | |||
* No Ports - but then this won't be an issue for [[gay|apple fanbois]], [[homosexual|who don't know what a good port is anyway]]. | |||
* Even thinner | |||
* Still no disc drive | |||
* Power cord sold separately | |||
* No software | |||
2016 MacBook update: | |||
* Still no fucking ports | |||
* 480P camera in 2016! | |||
* As thin as the 2015 MacBook | |||
* No disc drive | |||
* Power cord sold separately | |||
* Same price | |||
===Now in ROSE GOLD!!!!=== | |||
BUT IT COMES IN [[GAY|GOLD]]! Or [[Lesbian|Space Silver]]! Or just have it [[Poor|straight off the machine]]. | |||
<center><youtube>KHZ8ek-6ccc</youtube></center> | |||
<center>'''And as usual, you can't have an apple product release without a video from an apple engineer, who said that in the [[Steve_Jobs|Blow Jobs]] era, they'd have all been fired'''</center> | |||
==Humor== | ==Humor== | ||
Line 148: | Line 176: | ||
A = "Don't worry, they'll tell you" | A = "Don't worry, they'll tell you" | ||
== Bend over! It's | == Bend over! It's purchasing time! == | ||
We've all heard the jokes about how expensive Macs are compared to similarly spec'd out PCs, and in fact this article is chock filled with pictures to that effect | We've all heard the jokes about how expensive Macs are compared to similarly spec'd out PCs, and in fact this article is chock filled with pictures to that effect, but much of those are outdated. Let's see exactly how fucked you're getting '''today'''. For this lesson, we'll be using the iMac with Retina [[Bullshit|5K]] Display as the example, quad core starting base, as of 11 October 2015. No upgrades or add-ons. We'll explore the pricing and try to build a similarly spec'd PC using the Logical Increments PC buying guide. | ||
=== The Mac === | === The Mac === | ||
* Processor: A quad core | {{quote|MAC COST 99999999999999999£ | ||
* RAM: This is probably the worst part. | |||
* Hard Drive: | BEST EVER PC COST 100£ | ||
* SSD: | |||
* Graphics: They'll throw in a really [[shitty]] | SO GO SUCK DONKEY BALLS, MAC FANS | ||
* CD Drive: | |||
* Monitor: | YOU CAN'T TAKE THE TRUTH | ||
YES, THEY CAN FIT IN AN ENVELOPE- THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS, RIGHT? | |||
Mac fucks your gradeds balls.|gabriel25gatens on a MAC YouTube video|center=relative}} | |||
This sumbitch costs $2,000. Hot shit. [[You]] better be getting a super special awesome ultra special sexy machine for that kind of coin! The reality however is, you won't. | |||
* Processor: A quad core i5. It's the retarded cousin of the i7 family and it doesn't support Hyper Threading. In other words an [[AMD]] would outperform it. | |||
* RAM: This is probably the worst part. 8GB of RAM in a $2,000 machine? Wow. You can up it to 32GB for ''just'' $600. You could build a decent PC for that kind of money. | |||
* Hard Drive: A 1TB Drive. Has an option for a "fusion" drive that uses both a regular and SSD, but doesn't specify how much is split between the two. | |||
* SSD: They'll hit you up for $1000 in for a 1TB drive option, which leads to believe that the "fusion" option only offers [[Fail|256 GB]] of solid drive space. | |||
* Graphics: They'll throw in a really [[shitty]] Radeon R9 M290 with your purchase. It's a mobile chip, because fitting a normal card in a computer case isn't trendy enough. | |||
* CD/DVD Drive: There is none! Enjoy having a tablet without the touchscreen, while having a mouse and keyboard, [[faggot]]. | |||
* Monitor: It's an impressive 5K resolution! Not 4k, because using a standard that you can't see will make you feel above everyone else! | |||
* Apple is expected to release an 8k iMac in the near future with a thinner design. | |||
===Brainwashing=== | |||
Apple brainwashes you into buying their outdated technology by making their products look fancy. | |||
Having an over priced fancy product will make you feel like you are better than everyone else. | |||
So all in all, this isn't really an amazing computer | So all in all, this isn't really an amazing computer and it's below practical standards. Apple should really up their game or we could do it for them. | ||
=== The PC === | === The PC === | ||
If you're the kind of basement dwelling faggot that can actually feel the performance difference from a "Superior" machine, you'd probably enjoy putting one together yourself. Just for fun though, let's build two computers: One that matches the specs of the | If you're the kind of basement dwelling faggot that can actually feel the performance difference from a "Superior" machine, you'd probably enjoy putting one together yourself. Just for fun though, let's build two computers: One that matches the specs of the iMac to see what the components really cost, and one that matches the price. | ||
==== Same Specs ==== | ==== Same Specs ==== | ||
There's a problem here: The parts that Apple is offering are, well, outdated, shitty, and obsolete. We'll have to go with their recent equivalents. That's right folks, Apple fanboys will not only pay through the nose for Apple products, they'll pay through the nose for technology that PC users had for half the price, three years ago! | There's a problem here: The parts that Apple is offering are, well, outdated, shitty, and obsolete. We'll have to go with their recent equivalents. That's right folks, Apple fanboys will not only pay through the nose for Apple products, they'll pay through the nose for technology that PC users had for half the price, three years ago! | ||
* Processor: The Intel i5- | * Processor: The Intel Core i5-4590. $200 | ||
* RAM: 8GB of RAM in this machine's a fucking WASTE. $37. | |||
* RAM: | * Hard Drive: Want to know a secret? Apple doesn't make hard drives. They buy them from Western Digital like the rest of us. $50. | ||
* Hard Drive: | * SSD: The Apple didn't include an SSD, but the 512GB they offer for $500 is $300. And just like the hard drives, Apple gets them from the same place you do. | ||
* Graphics: The Radeon R290 is already 2 years old and this iMac was released a few months ago. is $270. | |||
* SSD: The Apple didn't include an SSD, but the 512GB they offer for $ | * Monitor: A standard 4K will do because 5K is just marketing bullshit. $534 | ||
* Graphics: The | |||
* | |||
For a complete machine you'll need a motherboard, case, and PSU. $150, $100, $50 for REALLY GOOD ones of each. | For a complete machine you'll need a motherboard, case, and PSU. $150, $100, $50 for REALLY GOOD ones of each. | ||
'''GRAND TOTAL: $ | '''GRAND TOTAL: $1491.''' Less than a two-thirds of the Mac. And if you skimp on the 4K monitor you can get it below $1200. Even less if you harvest some from the machine you're using to read this page right now. | ||
With the $ | With the $500 that you save, you could build buy TWO [[hookers]]. Or some [[drugs]]. Or a laptop that beats the living shit out the MacBook. Or donate it to ED. | ||
Of course, there are PLENTY of PC OEMS that will sell you a computer with specs that far surpass the | Of course, there are PLENTY of PC OEMS that will sell you a computer with specs that far surpass the iMac for less than $1,000. | ||
==== Same Price ==== | ==== Same Price ==== | ||
I'm lazy. | I'm lazy. Click [http://www.logicalincrements.com/ Here] and go to the "Enthusiast" tier (third from the bottom) hovers around $2,300, $200 less than the Mac. | ||
=== The 2016 Mac event was lame=== | |||
So much hype about new macs being released when the only thing | |||
that was released during the so called mac event was new software of course | |||
& the new MacBook Pro with an over priced touch bar | |||
== Bend over! It's iCloud time! == | |||
{{Main|The Fappening}} | |||
If you thought the machines were crap - wait until you use [[something_awful|their add-ons]]! | |||
In August 2014 some hacker on 4chan proved just how easy hacking Apple actually was. That or they just wanted ransom money from [[Celebrity|teenage celebrities]] everybody knew were slutty to begin with. | |||
A number of celebrity photographs were easily taken from iCloud, because Apple cares more about shifting unsellable/useless iPads to [[hipsters]] than they are in running some cling-on cloud data service. Proving that they can't compete with Google, which makes apple less than [[google]]. Be sure to point this out to Apple [[fanbois]] for hours of entertainment value. | |||
At first, Apple responded by posting pictures of hipsters on their website, because iPad sales were crappy and nobody could be bothered upgrading their current iPad. Which they barely ever used to watch videos or read books on, because they were busy doing actual work to care. However, once [[The Party Van]] arrived, Apple initially released [http://9to5mac.com/2014/08/31/countless-celebrity-nude-photo-leaks-being-blamed-on-supposed-icloud-hack/ a statement denying everything]. | |||
== However... == | == However... == | ||
[[Image:ibrator2.jpg|thumb | [[Image:ibrator2.jpg|thumb|Also, iCocks.]] | ||
Unlike normal PC users, who more often than not drive a true American car built in Motor City rigged with a V8 engine of at least 1 UK gallon of displacement | Unlike normal PC users, who more often than not drive a true American car built in Motor City rigged with a V8 engine of at least 1 UK gallon of displacement. You'll quite often find your typical Apple consumer driving a pompous, Eurotrash vehicle (e.g. BMW, SAAB, Volkswagen, Peugeot), or Subaru with a kayak or pair of cross country skis on the roof. Not because they need it or really even want it, but because they feel it would set them apart from all those "[[Faggots|other people]]." | ||
Apple fans often insist that Macs are easier to use than PCs, but by making such an argument, all they | Apple fans often insist that Macs are easier to use than PCs, but by making such an argument, all they imply is that they're too damn stupid to figure out how to use a real computer, rather than an overpriced toy. The truth is these clueless hipsters actually require a dumbed-down version of a ubiquitous appliance that even octogenarians have figured out years ago. | ||
== Criticism == | == Criticism == | ||
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[[Image:Mac_sucks.jpg|thumb|Best slogan evar.]] | [[Image:Mac_sucks.jpg|thumb|Best slogan evar.]] | ||
[[file:the apple cycle.jpg|thumb|The truth..it hurts.]] | [[file:the apple cycle.jpg|thumb|The truth..it hurts.]] | ||
A secret survey conducted by the Rand Corporation in the 1970s confirmed that any person attracted to white, plastic machines completely without sharp edges is an utter homosexual, subconsciously wishing to insert them into his rectum. | A secret survey conducted by the Rand Corporation in the 1970s confirmed that any person attracted to white, plastic machines completely without sharp edges is an utter homosexual, subconsciously wishing to insert them into his rectum. The thesis was famously defended by Sigmund Freud [[at least 100]] years ago. This led some to theorize that the miraculous upsurge in sales at the dawn of the new millennium, after a long period during which no one would buy an Apple computer, was the result of a coup backed by the CIA. It could not be a coincidence, it was argued, that every new design released by Apple had a counterpart amongst the suggestions presented in the Rand Corporation survey, which had recently been made public, to which it was almost identical. The CIA's interest in the coup supposedly was to divert the interest of the inhabitants of California towards "expressing themselves" with shitty programs such as iPhoto, Pages and iMovie (all designed especially to appeal to homosexuals) so that the Republicans could regain power from the [[Democrats]] in the 2000 presidential elections. The CIA confessed its partaking in the coup after the Republican Thousand Year Empire was secured in 2004, and admitted to doing this "for the [[lulz]]". | ||
Also, although the machines cost $2000, the machines are made in outright sweatshops, and often, the machine will need to be sent back numerous times, due to various problems, until you are forced to buy a new one. This is a form of Steve Jobs manipulation. | Also, although the machines cost $2000, the machines are made in outright sweatshops, and often, the machine will need to be sent back numerous times, due to various problems, until you are forced to buy a new one. This is a form of Steve Jobs [[Reality Distortion Field|manipulation]]. | ||
In summary, Apple products represent precisely what '''''you don't want to be''''' either in mind, body, or spirit. Avoid all traces of this evil in your otherwise rewarding journey through life and never forget to enjoy the occasional chuckle at the expense of the typical Apple dweeb in your neighborhood. | In summary, Apple products represent precisely what '''''you don't want to be''''' either in mind, body, or spirit. Avoid all traces of this evil in your otherwise rewarding journey through life and never forget to enjoy the occasional chuckle at the expense of the typical Apple dweeb in your neighborhood. | ||
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|<center>''' Unofficial hymn of Apple product '''</center><br/><youtube>F4hQ4J4BFOM</youtube> | |<center>''' Unofficial hymn of Apple product '''</center><br/><youtube>F4hQ4J4BFOM</youtube> | ||
|<center>''' Mac Gets Served '''</center><br/><youtube>8h1VQBfLDLA</youtube> | |<center>''' Mac Gets Served '''</center><br/><youtube>8h1VQBfLDLA</youtube> | ||
|<center>''' Crash Different '''</center><br/><youtube> | |<center>''' Crash Different '''</center><br/><youtube>j1SjWJK3zq8</youtube> | ||
|<center>''' PC tells the truth '''</center><br/><youtube>hIrBkgS4E1k</youtube> | |<center>''' PC tells the truth '''</center><br/><youtube>hIrBkgS4E1k</youtube> | ||
|<center>''' Apple's unspoken message '''</center><br/><youtube>JixbzFjv_cU</youtube> | |<center>''' Apple's unspoken message '''</center><br/><youtube>JixbzFjv_cU</youtube> | ||
|<center>''' Apple's unspoken message '''</center><br/><youtube>JixbzFjv_cU</youtube> | |<center>''' Apple's unspoken message '''</center><br/><youtube>JixbzFjv_cU</youtube> | ||
}}|border=#dedede|background=#dedede}}</center> | }}|border=#dedede|background=#dedede}}</center> | ||
<!-- | |||
|<center>''' Typical Mac Faggotry '''</center><br/><youtube>A5rnF6xH2iY</youtube> | |||
--> | |||
==Employee raep== | |||
{{quote|The secret wage-theft agreements between Apple, [[Google]], [[Intel]], [[Adobe]], Intuit, and [[Pixar]] (now owned by Disney) are described in court papers obtained by PandoDaily as “an overarching conspiracy” in violation of the Sherman Antitrust Act and the Clayton Antitrust Act, and at times it reads like something lifted straight out of the robber baron era that produced those laws. Today’s inequality crisis is America’s worst on record since statistics were first recorded a hundred years ago — the only comparison would be to the era of the railroad tycoons in the late 19th century.|--[http://pando.com/2014/01/23/the-techtopus-how-silicon-valleys-most-celebrated-ceos-conspired-to-drive-down-100000-tech-engineers-wages/ SODOMY!!]}} | |||
==Tim Cook== | |||
Rumor has it Apple employees miss Steve Jobs. Let's face it since Steve left | |||
Apple has been lacking in innovation. | |||
== DRM == | == DRM == | ||
{{achtung|This section is entirely true, so pay attention, asshole.}} | {{achtung|This section is entirely true, so pay attention, asshole.}} | ||
Steve Jobs has said that Apple is against [[DRM]], but this is complete and total bullshit because everyone who isn't [[retarded| | {{Main|DRM}} | ||
Steve Jobs has said that Apple is against [[DRM]], but this is complete and total bullshit, because everyone who isn't [[retarded|retarded]] knows that DRM will help Apple sell millions of iPods even though today they are only associated with oldfags. If you haven't put this together yourself then allow me to do it for [[you]]. DRM means that once a consumer purchases music off iTunes, he (we omit the ''she'' because women are supposed to be in the kitchen making dinner while the men are out fucking with hot chicks who are totally [[asking for it]]) will only be able to listen to that music on his iPod and in iTunes. '''OH SHIT, MY IPOD BROKE''' -- Ha. Good luck with that. Guess what? You fucked yourself. That's right. That [[Dragonforce]] that you purchased on iTunes only works on iTunes. The latest iPod looks gay so you decide you want a [[Zune]]. After plugging it in you try to put the music you purchased on iTunes onto [[You|your]] [[Zune]]. You get so angry you have sex with a couple of the goats that you keep in your mom's basement, punch out your parole officer and cut your dick off in a morphine-induced rampage. As a result of the protection, you have to buy another iPod to listen to your [[over 9,000]] dollars worth of music. Apple argues that it doesn't sell DRM-free music because of the record companies. However, this is a lie because all the same music can be bought without DRM on [[Amazon]] MP3. | |||
Although, even though it still sucks, if you burn your music onto CDs, you can re-upload the music for other formats. (Don't tell anyone I told you this. | Although, even though it still sucks, if you burn your music onto CDs, you can re-upload the music for other formats. (Don't tell anyone I told you this. It's a secret. SHHHH!!!!!!!!!) | ||
'''THUS: APPLE MAKES MONEY OFF YOUR [[stupid|STUPIDITY]].''' | '''THUS: APPLE MAKES MONEY OFF YOUR [[stupid|STUPIDITY]].''' | ||
Since anyone with half a brain could figure out how to get music without paying for it by using sites such as Playlist.com, and anyone with half a brain wouldn't buy an iPod, there's no reason why anyone with half a brain would want to use iTunes. However, if one does elect to actually buy a song off iTunes, one will receive the song in a proprietary format, making it useless--and a waste of money--if they want to use the song with anything other than iTunes or their iPod | Since anyone with half a brain could figure out how to get music without paying for it by using sites such as Playlist.com, and anyone with half a brain wouldn't buy an iPod, there's no reason why anyone with half a brain would want to use iTunes. However, if one does elect to actually buy a song off iTunes, one will receive the song in a proprietary format, making it useless--and a waste of money--if they want to use the song with anything other than iTunes or their iPod. | ||
Hell, you want to go crazy? [http://www.mgtek.com/dopisp/ Download MGTEK Dopisp.] OR [http://www.mediamonkey.com MediaMonkey] OR | Hell, you want to go crazy? [http://www.mgtek.com/dopisp/ Download MGTEK Dopisp.] OR [http://www.mediamonkey.com MediaMonkey] OR [http://winamp.com Winamp]. You'll be able to sync your iPod to Windows Media Player, and allows you to put whatever the fuck you want on there regardless of what's on your shitty iPod right now. It won't overwrite or delete anything unless you manually do so (PROTIP: To keep using it after the 30 day trial, uninstall it and clean out the remaining registry entries with a program like [http://www.ccleaner.com/ CCleaner.], or it won't let you use reinstall and use it again without paying for it. Finding a good serial key/crack is a bitch right now.) | ||
=== Adobe Flash === | === Adobe Flash === | ||
Apple and [[Adobe]] have recently divorced each other. It all started when [[Steve Jobs]] decided Apple was too cool for [[Flash]]. Some random guy (apparently Steve Jobs) | Apple and [[Adobe]] have recently divorced each other. It all started when [[Steve Jobs]] decided Apple was too cool for [[Flash]]. Some random guy (apparently Steve Jobs) released a lulzy, butthurt report on why Apple shouldn't use Flash in its mobile devices. [http://www.apple.com/hotnews/thoughts-on-flash/ BAWW] | ||
== Things You'll Never See A Mac Do == | == Things You'll Never See A Mac Do == | ||
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* Have owners who know how to turn it on and off without being told how to do so. | * Have owners who know how to turn it on and off without being told how to do so. | ||
* Close a program with one button. | * Close a program with one button. | ||
* Have a body that isn't made from crap aluminum that scratches and chips. | |||
* Run active directory or any technology that relies on a domain. | |||
* Have the latest Tech | |||
* Right-click | |||
==The things you'll never see Apple do== | ==The things you'll never see Apple do== | ||
* Not | * Not store your credit card information—[[Jew|their only interest]]. | ||
* Not | * Not ask you to Agree with a long and one-sided license agreement. | ||
* Not automatically | * Not automatically take your money when you click one of their ''buy'' buttons. | ||
* Refund | * Refund online payments. | ||
* Create a product for heterosexual people | * Create a product for heterosexual people. | ||
* | * Create or market a product that does not '''''juuuust''''' work. | ||
* | * Provide the public with credit to other people for their work in the industry. | ||
* Create | * Provide something—''anything'' for free, to give their die-hard devotees a hint of a logical reason to be devoted. | ||
* | * Create software that will function on a 1-year-old Mac, let alone a PC of any sort. | ||
* Market hardware, software, or other merchandise that does not have a lowercase "i" at the beginning. e.g. iPhone, iMac, iMovie, iCock, iDiot, iHomo, etc. | |||
* Have a home button that doesn't wear out; designed to break, more $$$ | |||
* Have a software keyboard you can type on | |||
* Not require you to wank the iPhone to undo inserting text - WANKERS | |||
* Have a cock over 6 inches | |||
* Have products that don't cost the monthly mortgage payment | |||
* Update their products often with the latest Tech | |||
* Release more than 2 hardware products a year has been the recent trend of Apple recently since 2015 | |||
== Apple in Popular Culture == | == Apple in Popular Culture == | ||
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*The Apple Newton was used by Vin Diesel in ''Under Siege IV: The Revenge'', where he helped defend a hijacked passenger space shuttle from rebel [[nigra]]s. However, due to a large amount of fail, [[lulz]] ensued. | *The Apple Newton was used by Vin Diesel in ''Under Siege IV: The Revenge'', where he helped defend a hijacked passenger space shuttle from rebel [[nigra]]s. However, due to a large amount of fail, [[lulz]] ensued. | ||
*A Macintosh Performa 600 was used in the movie ''Blank Check''. Counterfeiters, take note: if it worked in a Disney movie in 1994, it will probably still work today. | *A Macintosh Performa 600 was used in the movie ''Blank Check''. Counterfeiters, take note: if it worked in a Disney movie in 1994, it will probably still work today. | ||
*iMacs were used in the movie [[Will_Smith|''i, Robot'']] (note the product endorsement) to program "intelligent" robot beings who would later [[rape]] the humans | *iMacs were used in the movie [[Will_Smith|''i, Robot'']] (note the product endorsement) to program "intelligent" robot beings who would later [[rape]] the humans, similar to what will happen with Apple in the coming years. | ||
*In the movie ''Sneakers'', Robert Redford h4xxor3d the CIA using a Mac Classic. However, they got him when he was caught playing ''[[Oregon Trail]]''. [[Lulz]] ensued. | *In the movie ''Sneakers'', Robert Redford h4xxor3d the CIA using a Mac Classic. However, they got him when he was caught playing ''[[Oregon Trail]]''. [[Lulz]] ensued. | ||
*After David Koresh and the Branch Davidians were pwn3d by the ATF, [[CSI]] showed that they were caught by surprise [[fapping]] off to [[porn]] on Macs. [[Lulz]] ensued. | *After David Koresh and the Branch Davidians were pwn3d by the ATF, [[CSI]] showed that they were caught by surprise [[fapping]] off to [[porn]] on Macs. [[Lulz]] ensued. | ||
*In the movie ''Independence Day'' [[Jeff Goldblum]] used an iBook to upload a Laughing Skull [[Virus]] to the alien mainframe, causing them to be easily defeated. The death of the aliens | *In the movie ''Independence Day'' [[Jeff Goldblum]] used an iBook to upload a Laughing Skull [[Virus]] to the alien mainframe, causing them to be easily defeated. The death of the aliens proved how gay Apple really is. | ||
*HAL 9000, the infamous killer computer in the movie ''2001: A Space Odyssey'' ran on Mac OS X, proving that Macs can be just as evil, if not more, than Microsoft PCs. | *HAL 9000, the infamous killer computer in the movie ''2001: A Space Odyssey'' ran on Mac OS X, proving that Macs can be just as evil, if not more, than Microsoft PCs. | ||
*In ''Robocop 2'', the bad robot, Cain (which had a brain from a drug-addict), runs on Mac OS, while Robocop runs on good old MS-DOS. | *In ''Robocop 2'', the bad robot, Cain (which had a brain from a drug-addict), runs on Mac OS, while Robocop runs on good old MS-DOS. | ||
*A woman is shown using a Mac in ''The Net'', and is shown doing a virus scan at the start of the film, then gets her [[IRL]] identity changed by hackers because of her being a [[whore]]. | *A woman is shown using a Mac in ''The Net'', and is shown doing a virus scan at the start of the film, then gets her [[IRL]] identity changed by hackers because of her being a [[whore]]. | ||
*The computer that saved the world every 108 minutes in [[Lost]] was from a variety of different Mac series. It was designed to have a long string of numbers entered into it by some poor bastard (because the Mac's amazing software couldn't just fucking enter the numbers itself to save everyone a ton of trouble) every hour and 48 minutes to keep the island from swallowing the world. The Mac's presence outraged Locke who proceeded to pwn the sorry excuse of a computer which resulted in an electromagnetic epic fail. [[Lulz]] ensued. | *The computer that saved the world every 108 minutes in [[Lost]] was from a variety of different Mac series. It was designed to have a long string of numbers entered into it by some poor bastard (because the Mac's amazing software couldn't just fucking enter the numbers itself to save everyone a ton of trouble) every hour and 48 minutes to keep the island from swallowing the world. The Mac's presence outraged Locke who proceeded to pwn the sorry excuse of a computer which resulted in an electromagnetic epic fail. [[Lulz]] ensued. | ||
*In 2010, Apple products appeared in more movies than any other company by showing up in 30% of all of the major releases for that year. Since they can't beat Microsoft [[ | *In 2010, Apple products appeared in more movies than any other company by showing up in 30% of all of the major releases for that year. Since they can't beat Microsoft [[IRL]], they decided to dominate the product placement market.[http://www.engadget.com/2011/02/23/shocker-apple-product-placements-dominate-hollywood/] | ||
==Apple's Marketing Scheme== | ==Apple's Marketing Scheme== | ||
[[Image:Apple-manual.png|thumb|Apple’s Secret Employee Training Manual | [[Image:Apple-manual.png|thumb|Apple’s Secret Employee Training Manual {{Archive|kDep9}}]] | ||
[[Image:AppleHQ.jpg|thumb|A hard day at work with the Apple crew.]] | [[Image:AppleHQ.jpg|thumb|A hard day at work with the Apple crew.]] | ||
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4. Said fucktard goes to the Mac store and pays for an insanely overpriced Mac. | 4. Said fucktard goes to the Mac store and pays for an insanely overpriced Mac. | ||
5. | 5. Make products look fancy to brainwash you into buying an over priced device in reality you are really paying for art. | ||
6. PROFIT!!!!! | 6. PROFIT!!!!! | ||
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[[image:Troll_mac.png|centre]] | [[image:Troll_mac.png|centre]] | ||
==Apple Switch Ad Campaign== | ==Apple Switch Ad Campaign== | ||
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==Professional Applications== | ==Professional Applications== | ||
Apple users always love to boast about how their slop shit is used by ~[[fags|professionals]]~ for uber important, commercial level endeavors. Touting it as a superior, "high tech" system of unparalleled mastery and importance. Unfortunately for these doorknobs, reality soundly bitch slaps them up alongside their fat heads with the sobering reality that their users are so developmentally delayed that Apple actually has to retard all their software settings down into overly simplistic, infantile, grade school level selections like, "good", "betters" and "bestest". | Apple users always love to boast about how their slop shit is used by ~[[fags|professionals]]~ for uber important, commercial level endeavors. Touting it as a superior, "high tech" system of unparalleled mastery and importance. Unfortunately for these doorknobs, reality soundly bitch slaps them up alongside their fat heads with the sobering reality that their users are so developmentally delayed that Apple actually has to retard all their software settings down into overly simplistic, infantile, grade school level selections like, "good", "betters" and "bestest". And rendering videos on a laptop with a shitty dual-core processor without any acceleration from the GPU | ||
<center><gallery> | <center><gallery> | ||
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== Videos == | == Videos == | ||
<center>{{fv|macvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold; | <center>{{fv|macvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold; | ||
|<youtube>9BnLbv6QYcA</youtube> | |<youtube>9BnLbv6QYcA</youtube> | ||
|<youtube>F4hQ4J4BFOM</youtube> | |<youtube>F4hQ4J4BFOM</youtube> | ||
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== Gallery == | == Gallery == | ||
{{cg|Galleria de MacTard|AppleGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5"> | {{cg|Galleria de MacTard|AppleGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5"> | ||
Image:Macbook2016.jpg| Bestbuy quote Ultrabook - Intel Core M (6th Gen) m5-6Y54 Dual-core (2 Core) 1.10 GHz - 8GB LPDDR3 RAM - 256GB SSD - Intel HD Graphics 515 L1920 x 1080 16:9 Display $1,332.00Cad Looks pretty much the same as the MacBook | |||
Image:antimacfag.png|I don't wanna die a FAGGOT. | Image:antimacfag.png|I don't wanna die a FAGGOT. | ||
Image:Macsuckshereletmeshowyou.png|Mac users get [[pwnt|boned]] again. | Image:Macsuckshereletmeshowyou.png|Mac users get [[pwnt|boned]] again. | ||
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Image:ifail.jpg|What [[Steve Jobs]] is reduced to after Windows. | Image:ifail.jpg|What [[Steve Jobs]] is reduced to after Windows. | ||
Image:Goatsemac.jpg|[[Goatse Security]] hack. | Image:Goatsemac.jpg|[[Goatse Security]] hack. | ||
File:ITray.jpg | |||
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5"> | </gallery>|<gallery perrow="5"> | ||
Image:N1642560406_93935_9775.jpg|[[GG Allin|Jesus]] uses a Mac. | Image:N1642560406_93935_9775.jpg|[[GG Allin|Jesus]] uses a Mac. | ||
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Image:AppleWonder.png|Apple has prowess in Computer Science III! | Image:AppleWonder.png|Apple has prowess in Computer Science III! | ||
Image:Macfanboys.jpg|[[Truth]] | Image:Macfanboys.jpg|[[Truth]] | ||
File:Apple weed.jpg | |||
Image:FFFFFFUUUUUUMAC.jpg|You win teh prize! | Image:FFFFFFUUUUUUMAC.jpg|You win teh prize! | ||
Image:Valvemac-lg.jpg| PCs are like [[TF2]] sentries - they're upgradable, can be built by yourself, it's rugged, etc. On the other hand, Macs are like [[Portal]] sentries - [http://www.apple.com/accessibility/voiceover/| they can talk] and piss off everything that moves. Fucking great. | Image:Valvemac-lg.jpg| PCs are like [[TF2]] sentries - they're upgradable, can be built by yourself, it's rugged, etc. On the other hand, Macs are like [[Portal]] sentries - [http://www.apple.com/accessibility/voiceover/| they can talk] and piss off everything that moves. Fucking great. | ||
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Image:Mac experience.jpg|An insight into the 'wonderful' mac experience. | Image:Mac experience.jpg|An insight into the 'wonderful' mac experience. | ||
Image:Garfieldwtf.jpg|[[Garfield|Jon]] owns a Mac. | Image:Garfieldwtf.jpg|[[Garfield|Jon]] owns a Mac. | ||
Image:Macbook hur.PNG|Who needs a CD drive when you've got a [[lame|kickass]] notebook as [[ | Image:Macbook hur.PNG|Who needs a CD drive when you've got a [[lame|kickass]] notebook as [[anorexia|thin]] as this? Oh fuck,just get [[$100 laptop|'''this''']] instead. | ||
Image:Switch_ad2.jpg|[[Ellen Feiss]], switcher. This is how 90s and apathetic you look if you switch to Apple. | Image:Switch_ad2.jpg|[[Ellen Feiss]], switcher. This is how 90s and apathetic you look if you switch to Apple. | ||
Image:Itunespedo.png|[[Pedophilia|Pedophiles]] love macs because they never pick up [[viruses]] while they look for cp [[limewire|torrents]]. | Image:Itunespedo.png|[[Pedophilia|Pedophiles]] love macs because they never pick up [[viruses]] while they look for cp [[limewire|torrents]]. | ||
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Image:Bad_Apple.jpg | Image:Bad_Apple.jpg | ||
Image:IPod_Fattie.gif | Image:IPod_Fattie.gif | ||
File:Fufumac.png | |||
File:Apple iHeil.jpg | |||
File:1208378986483.jpg | |||
File:First goatse apple 5.jpg | |||
File:First goatse apple 6.jpg | |||
File:Modding Mac thread.jpg | |||
File:Applefag.jpg | |||
File:Apple5.jpg | |||
File:Apple-ipad-ipod-macbook-macbook-pro-someones-an-apple-fan.jpg | |||
File:Apple - iPad - 19.jpg | |||
File:Apple - iPhone - Stone.jpg | |||
File:Apple-mailbox.jpg | |||
File:Applecandlestickholder.png | |||
<!--Image:EDApplebootlogo.png|What the apple logo should look like.--> | <!--Image:EDApplebootlogo.png|What the apple logo should look like.--> | ||
<!--Image:Nigga with a mac.jpg|black person with a mac? This must be [[fake]].--> | <!--Image:Nigga with a mac.jpg|black person with a mac? This must be [[fake]].--> | ||
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<!--Image:Who_Macs_were_made_for.png|Even OS X is racist.--> | <!--Image:Who_Macs_were_made_for.png|Even OS X is racist.--> | ||
<!--Image:Steve Jobs retard.jpg--> | <!--Image:Steve Jobs retard.jpg--> | ||
File:Applecoffeemaker.png | |||
File:Appleghey.jpg | |||
</gallery>|0}} | </gallery>|0}} | ||
== List of Apple fanboys on JewTube == | == List of Apple fanboys on JewTube == | ||
SoldierKnowsBest - [http://www.youtube.com/user/SoldierKnowsBest] <br /> | *SoldierKnowsBest - [http://www.youtube.com/user/SoldierKnowsBest] <br /> | ||
justinsbigidea - [http://www.youtube.com/user/justinsbigidea]<br /> | *justinsbigidea - [http://www.youtube.com/user/justinsbigidea]<br /> | ||
gobbypower - [http://www.youtube.com/user/gobbypower] <br /> | *<s>gobbypower - [http://www.youtube.com/user/gobbypower]</s> <br /> | ||
[[CP|Chris Pirillo]] - [http://www.youtube.com/user/lockergnome] <br /> | *[[CP|Chris Pirillo]] - [http://www.youtube.com/user/lockergnome] <br /> | ||
Mrseanryan25 - [http://www.youtube.com/user/Mrseanryan25] <br /> | *Mrseanryan25 - [http://www.youtube.com/user/Mrseanryan25] <br /> | ||
AppleSoldier - [http://www.youtube.com/user/AppleSoldier] <br /> | *AppleSoldier - [http://www.youtube.com/user/AppleSoldier] <br /> | ||
gixG17 - [http://www.youtube.com/user/gixG17] <br /> | *gixG17 - [http://www.youtube.com/user/gixG17] <br /> | ||
== List of Apple fanboys on ED == | == List of Apple fanboys on ED == | ||
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*[[fl0ss]] | *[[fl0ss]] | ||
*[[wattage]] | *[[wattage]] | ||
*<span class="plainlinks">[https://forum.encyclopediadramatica.online/members/quence.10/ Quence]</span> | |||
== Other Apple Products == | == Other Apple Products == | ||
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== See Also == | == See Also == | ||
[[File:Windows XP kun.jpg|thumb|The Windows vs Mac vs Linux debate [[OS-tan|personified]]. Note that Apple doesn't even figure into the fight.]] | |||
*[[BOLO]] ''The only game to ever be released on a Mac.'' | *[[BOLO]] ''The only game to ever be released on a Mac.'' | ||
*[[Communism]] ''Macs are communist because they dont allow competition; All Macs are made by apple.'' | *[[Communism]] ''Macs are communist because they dont allow competition; All Macs are made by apple.'' | ||
*[[Ellen Feiss]] ''Official Spokesperson.'' | *[[Ellen Feiss]] ''Official Spokesperson.'' | ||
*[[Unwarranted_Self-Importance]] | *[[Unwarranted_Self-Importance]] | ||
*[[Lowter]] ''Typical Mac Propaganda.'' | *[[Lowter]] ''Typical Mac Propaganda.'' | ||
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*[[MacRumors]] | *[[MacRumors]] | ||
*[[List of Macintosh exclusive games]] | *[[List of Macintosh exclusive games]] | ||
*[[Steve Jobs]] | *[[Steve Jobs]] | ||
*[[Woz]] | *[[Woz]] | ||
*[[Superpower]]: [[Reality Distortion Field]] | *[[Superpower]]: [[Reality Distortion Field]] | ||
*[[OSx86]] | |||
'''Other worthy Products...''' | |||
*[[Linux]] | |||
*[[Windows]] | *[[Windows]] | ||
*[[ | *[[PC]] -Hated furiously by Mac users | ||
== External == | == External links == | ||
* [http://www.yfsgt.com You Fags Sure Got Told: Applefags getting told] | * [http://www.yfsgt.com You Fags Sure Got Told: Applefags getting told] | ||
* [http:// | * [http://archive.fo/d4pp5 Macs, iPods, iPads, iPhones -- iRefuse to Conform] | ||
* [[Maddox]]'s [http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=macs_cant stance on Apple] | * [[Maddox]]'s [http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=macs_cant stance on Apple] | ||
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v= | * [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmFVJMFvIRg How to hack into a Mac] | ||
* [http://www.facebook.com/pages/I-hate-Apple/51127772446 I hate Apple Failbook Group] | * [http://www.facebook.com/pages/I-hate-Apple/51127772446 I hate Apple Failbook Group] | ||
* [http:// | * [http://archive.fo/Dhqn iHate Mac Smuggery Failbook Group] | ||
* [http://andimapc.com/ Make your own Mac vs. PC!] | * [http://andimapc.com/ Make your own Mac vs. PC!] | ||
* [http://www.apple.com/switch/ Apple's Switch website] | * [http://www.apple.com/switch/ Apple's Switch website] | ||
** [http:// | ** [http://archive.fo/MA9k5 Press Release from the launch of the Switch campaign] | ||
* {{ljuser|user=mymacsucks}} | * {{ljuser|user=mymacsucks}} | ||
*[http://arstechnica.com/microsoft/news/2009/09/microsoft-helps-best-buy-employees-troll-mac-users-too.ars Microsoft helps bestbuy troll mac users] | *[http://arstechnica.com/microsoft/news/2009/09/microsoft-helps-best-buy-employees-troll-mac-users-too.ars Microsoft helps bestbuy troll mac users] | ||
* [http://www.mac-how.net Mac How] | * [http://www.mac-how.net Mac How] | ||
*[http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=194601 If this doesnt make you rage nothing will] | *[http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=194601 If this doesnt make you rage nothing will] | ||
http://www.quickpwn.com/2010/06/leaked-iphone-4-and-ios4-secrets.html | *[https://web.archive.org/web/20100701085109/http://www.quickpwn.com/2010/06/leaked-iphone-4-and-ios4-secrets.html APPLE JUST BECAME THE FINAL BOSS OF THE IPHONE. NOW THOSE BASTARDS CAN TRACK EVERYTHING YOU DO. DELETE YOUR FAP FOLDER.] | ||
* | * {{archive|RK9G|Steve Jobs offers world freedom from porn}} | ||
*[http:// | *[http://archive.fo/j5L3S '''DONT BE A FAGGOT''' Get your high-end PC with OSX installed here. ] | ||
*[http:// | *[http://archive.fo/c1Kpo Apple Set to Release new iRay iOnized Bracelet] | ||
{{apple}} | {{apple}} | ||
{{Business}} | {{Business}} | ||
{{Softwarez}} | {{Softwarez}} | ||
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{{Indie}} | |||
{{Timeline|Featured article September 27, [[2006]]|[[The Matrix]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Bill Gates]]}} | {{Timeline|Featured article September 27, [[2006]]|[[The Matrix]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Bill Gates]]}} | ||
[[category:Memes]] | [[category:Memes]] | ||
[[category:Hipster Shit]] | [[category:Hipster Shit]] |