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Ben Ford: Difference between revisions
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Ben continued to harass other girls with vaguely [[rape|sexual]] comments, ham-fisted romantic overtures, and one apathetic proposal to the forum’s admin, until he [[suicide|banned himself]] for sockpuppeting (and afterwards he admitted that he didn't even know why he created the sockpuppet, which didn't do anything except discuss [[Ben Ford#What's wrong with him?|sharks]] and [[Ben Ford#What's wrong with him?|the military]]), which happen to be [[Autism|fixations]] of Ben's. | Ben continued to harass other girls with vaguely [[rape|sexual]] comments, ham-fisted romantic overtures, and one apathetic proposal to the forum’s admin, until he [[suicide|banned himself]] for sockpuppeting (and afterwards he admitted that he didn't even know why he created the sockpuppet, which didn't do anything except discuss [[Ben Ford#What's wrong with him?|sharks]] and [[Ben Ford#What's wrong with him?|the military]]), which happen to be [[Autism|fixations]] of Ben's. | ||
{{ | <center>{{morphquote|lolcow|background-color: white|font-weight: bold | ||
|Hi. I'm Quinn. I'm from Florida.<br> | |||
I love Bellatrix because she's just awesome.<br> | I love Bellatrix because she's just awesome.<br> | ||
For me, personally, I'm a fan of Harry/Bellatrix. I know it ain't a pairing a lot of people support, but I do.|This is totally not Ben pretending to be someone else. | For me, personally, I'm a fan of Harry/Bellatrix. I know it ain't a pairing a lot of people support, but I do.|This is totally not Ben pretending to be someone else. | ||
|Naw. I live in Miami and I'm 30. | |||
<br>Catilin: I ain't going to hate anyone for it. | |||
<br>CG: Yeah. That's why I like it. It's a challenge. | |||
<br>[[Ben Ford#Benquotes|Listen, I gotta go.]]|Nope, not at all | |||
|<br>I don't know why I did it. I really don't. | |||
<br>I am sincerely sorry for deceiving you all. '''And I'm sorry for being a worthless gutter turd.''' | |||
<br>I'm leaving the Forum for a while. If you want to ban me, I won't be surprised in the least|He came back a week later btw}}</center> | |||
|HER ROCKS METAMORPHOSED INTO THE UTERUS OF TIME BUT THE WALLS OF MEAT EXPELLED HER|The hobo is quoting [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Passion_of_New_Eve the Wikipedia article on The Passion of New Eve] | |||
|WHAT?!?!?!?!%(#+$#(Q&$Q#&%_(#Q)*&%_(Q?|Ben’s last thoughts on the subject}}</center> | |||
=Politics= | =Politics= | ||
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Ben has a habit of [[cock|sucking]] up to women in the hope they might give him tits. Because he is a disgusting, smelly manchild (read up and down for evidence), they never do. | Ben has a habit of [[cock|sucking]] up to women in the hope they might give him tits. Because he is a disgusting, smelly manchild (read up and down for evidence), they never do. | ||
Ben claims to have gotten laid with [http://www.facebook.com/#!/laderrica.green this girl], but these claims are dubious. Really dubious. His description of how they met sounds a lot more like a porno setup than an actual prelude to fucking. In a voice chat with some trolls a few months after this, he said that he had broken up with her, but had [ | Ben claims to have gotten laid with [http://www.facebook.com/#!/laderrica.green this girl], but these claims are dubious. Really dubious. His description of how they met sounds a lot more like a porno setup than an actual prelude to fucking. In a voice chat with some trolls a few months after this, he said that he had broken up with her, but had [[Alzheimers|forgotten why.]] When called on this, he changed his story and said it was because she cheated on him, possibly with a trucker, depending on when you ask. | ||
The most important woman in Ben's life is his [[Incest|mother]]. At 20 years old, Ben asked her permission to join fanfiction.net, and to download Skype, and to chat with people. His reasoning is "Her house, her rules", which he [[autism|repeats every time]] somebody points out how completely [[Castration|emasculated]] he is. Ben has been photographed wearing her clothing, which makes him a transvestite. He apparently likes older women, too. The implications are disturbing, yeah? | The most important woman in Ben's life is his [[Incest|mother]]. At 20 years old, Ben asked her permission to join fanfiction.net, and to download Skype, and to chat with people. His reasoning is "Her house, her rules", which he [[autism|repeats every time]] somebody points out how completely [[Castration|emasculated]] he is. Ben has been photographed wearing her clothing, which makes him a transvestite. He apparently likes older women, too. The implications are disturbing, yeah? | ||
{{ | <center>{{morphquote|women|background-color: white|font-weight: bold | ||
|I might be getting it tommorow. Me and My Mom are going to look at it in the Evening.|Ben's mom wants to make sure Skype is ok for her babby | |||
|And can I go get my Mom|His reaction to conflict | |||
|My Mom doesn't know you guys|According to him, his mom has to approve all websites he joins "because it's her Computer." Remember, he's 20 now. | |||
|PLAGOANDE: ben did your mom tell you to turn off the computer and go to bed | |||
Ben: She told me to end the conversation with my first comment. | |||
PLAGOANDE: ben, you're a grown man. you can talk to whomever you please. | |||
Ben: She told me to end the conversation with my first comment. | Ben: Her house, her rules|He has used that exact phrase to explain his spinelessness on numerous occasions | ||
PLAGOANDE: ben, you're a grown man. you can talk to whomever you please. | }}</center> | ||
Ben: Her house, her rules|He has used that exact phrase to explain his spinelessness on numerous occasions}} | |||
< | |||
===Ben and the Women=== | ===Ben and the Women=== | ||
The number of stupid little bitchfights he gets into with his friendzonefriends is so high it cannot be counted in numbers, and few are worth mentioning, but the pattern typically goes like this: Ben says something insensitive/creepy/really retarded; people get freaked out and tell him to stfu; Ben spams the [[offended]] [[lemonparty|party's]] friends with self-loathing messages; these friends call him a stupid douche. This happens regularly until people start blocking him. | The number of stupid little bitchfights he gets into with his friendzonefriends is so high it cannot be counted in numbers, and few are worth mentioning, but the pattern typically goes like this: Ben says something insensitive/creepy/really retarded; people get freaked out and tell him to stfu; Ben spams the [[offended]] [[lemonparty|party's]] friends with self-loathing messages; these friends call him a stupid douche. This happens regularly until people start blocking him. | ||
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Image: ass to mouth to lolis.jpg|Oh hey thar little suzy, whacha think of ass to mouth? | Image: ass to mouth to lolis.jpg|Oh hey thar little suzy, whacha think of ass to mouth? | ||
Image: Ben implying.jpg|Sadly they do not catch on and relieve him of his burden | Image: Ben implying.jpg|Sadly they do not catch on and relieve him of his burden | ||
Image:Mom bawww.jpg|Ben | Image:Mom bawww.jpg|Ben probably wrote this, half the words are capitalized and it’s just flat out retarded | ||
</gallery></center> | </gallery></center> | ||
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=Ben and the Magic Hobo= | =Ben and the Magic Hobo= | ||
[[ | [[File:Ben in his mommy's bra.png|thumb|right|125px|125px|Benjamin David Ford in his mommy's bra.]] | ||
[[File:magic_hobo.jpg|thumb|right|50px|125px|The other half of the conversation]] | |||
After receiving an onslaught of nonsense messages and the full text of Moby Dick in Russian from [http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3736111/ofMiceandBen ofMiceandBen], Ben turned to TuesdayNovember for help. The result was Ben in his mother’s bra. The lead-up to that involves traumatic head-injury, massive boners, and a prophet hobo. | After receiving an onslaught of nonsense messages and the full text of Moby Dick in Russian from [http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3736111/ofMiceandBen ofMiceandBen], Ben turned to TuesdayNovember for help. The result was Ben in his mother’s bra. The lead-up to that involves traumatic head-injury, massive boners, and a prophet hobo. | ||
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Ben also confirmed later to Jim Crow, [[KKK|David Duke]], and [[Holocaust|1000 dead jews in the oven]] that the bra picture was his after it appeared on /b/. Due to the massive amounts of spam text between the lulzy parts, this side of the conversation is presented in text quotes. | Ben also confirmed later to Jim Crow, [[KKK|David Duke]], and [[Holocaust|1000 dead jews in the oven]] that the bra picture was his after it appeared on /b/. Due to the massive amounts of spam text between the lulzy parts, this side of the conversation is presented in text quotes. | ||
<center>{{morphquote| | <center>{{morphquote|hobo|background-color: white|font-weight: bold | ||
|hey do you want to see a picture of my enormous schlong? i'm selling them for 50 cents apiece to get hooker money|He does, secretly | |hey do you want to see a picture of my enormous schlong? i'm selling them for 50 cents apiece to get hooker money|He does, secretly | ||
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Bio: Emily O'Neal was born on the first hour, in the first minute, of Halloween, 1975, in Belfast, Northern Ireland to two purebloods. She earned a reputation quickly, because when '''the Doctor who delivered him spanked her, she screamed and he died 2 days later.''' At age 11, she was accepted into Hogwarts. At age 20, she joined Voldemorts ranks, quickly rising through the ranks. Crazy, bloodthirsty and cruel, she earned a reputation as a cold blooded [[Whore|bitch]] because she was usually the only one who came back alive in a mission. Many Death Eaters believe she kills her teammates herself. She will stop at nothing to reach her goals. | Bio: Emily O'Neal was born on the first hour, in the first minute, of Halloween, 1975, in Belfast, Northern Ireland to two purebloods. She earned a reputation quickly, because when '''the Doctor who delivered him spanked her, she screamed and he died 2 days later.''' At age 11, she was accepted into Hogwarts. At age 20, she joined Voldemorts ranks, quickly rising through the ranks. Crazy, bloodthirsty and cruel, she earned a reputation as a cold blooded [[Whore|bitch]] because she was usually the only one who came back alive in a mission. Many Death Eaters believe she kills her teammates herself. She will stop at nothing to reach her goals. | ||
Personality: Psychopathic, Unmerciful, ambitious, crazy, bloodthirsty, fearless, masochistic, sadistic, uncaring about anyone's well being, intelligent, has Ice cold blood in her veins and a reptilian heart, has a soft spot for cats and has 9 lives, vocal cords are more developed then any witches of her age, numb to pain because she was born with CIPA | Personality: Psychopathic, Unmerciful, ambitious, crazy, bloodthirsty, fearless, masochistic, sadistic, uncaring about anyone's well being, intelligent, has Ice cold blood in her veins and a reptilian heart, has a soft spot for cats and has 9 lives, vocal cords are more developed then any witches of her age, numb to pain because she was born with [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congenital_insensitivity_to_pain_with_anhidrosis CIPA] | ||
'''(...some tl;dr shit)''' | '''(...some tl;dr shit)''' | ||
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|A second version of this profile can be found [http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/56802/35032128/64/Newest-Introduce-Yourself-Thread here.]}} | |A second version of this profile can be found [http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/56802/35032128/64/Newest-Introduce-Yourself-Thread here.]}} | ||
Another of his godawful endlessly long OC profiles can be found [http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/56802/35032128/65/Newest-Introduce-Yourself-Thread here.] | Another of his godawful endlessly long OC profiles can be found [http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/56802/35032128/65/Newest-Introduce-Yourself-Thread here.] And other places, but if you want to read that shit so badly you can go find it yourself. | ||
And other places, but if you want to read that shit so badly you can go find it yourself. | |||
Before continuing with this section, why don’t you have a look at a sample of his ‘hard work’. It will make it clear to you exactly how bad he is at his trade. | Before continuing with this section, why don’t you have a look at a sample of his ‘hard work’. It will make it clear to you exactly how bad he is at his trade. | ||
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Image: a man of deep thought.jpg|Ben thinking deep thoughts | Image: a man of deep thought.jpg|Ben thinking deep thoughts | ||
Image:poor kitty cat.jpg| God damn look at that pedostache god damn | Image:poor kitty cat.jpg| God damn look at that pedostache god damn | ||
Image: ben with parents.jpg|Ben with his | Image: ben with parents.jpg|Ben with his mommy | ||
Image: ben with some skinny guy.jpg|Caveman looks [[Rape|way too enthusiastic]] | Image: ben with some skinny guy.jpg|Caveman looks [[Rape|way too enthusiastic]] | ||
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5"> | </gallery>|<gallery perrow="5"> | ||
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Image: ben is a troper.jpg|Like many retards who spend too much time on TVTropes, he has a tendency to point out irrelevant things that fit into trope categories. He also uses them in his OC profiles. | Image: ben is a troper.jpg|Like many retards who spend too much time on TVTropes, he has a tendency to point out irrelevant things that fit into trope categories. He also uses them in his OC profiles. | ||
Image: ben declares war on a pairing.jpg|Ben declares war on a pairing nobody cares about. | Image: ben declares war on a pairing.jpg|Ben declares war on a pairing nobody cares about. | ||
Image:benhitched.jpg|There was absolutely no lead up to this, and he is | Image:benhitched.jpg|There was absolutely no lead up to this, and he is proposing to the forum's admin. Draw your own conclusions. | ||
Image: Ben is grinding with bellatrix.jpg|Somewhere else in that clusterfuck, he said he was married to her. | Image: Ben is grinding with bellatrix.jpg|Somewhere else in that clusterfuck, he said he was married to her. | ||
Image:1920s benford.jpg|Artist’s impression of Ben, or so we’re told. | Image:1920s benford.jpg|Artist’s impression of Ben, or so we’re told. | ||
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=External Links= | =External Links= | ||
* {{fb| | * {{fb|ben.ford.9400}} | ||
* {{ | * {{yt|u|MrRambo1037}} | ||
* {{twitter | * {{twitter|benford21}} | ||
* [http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1712564/TellatrixForever His Fanfiction.net profile] | * [http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1712564/TellatrixForever His Fanfiction.net profile] | ||
* [http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3533067/Loyal-to-a-fault His sockpuppet account, “Quinn”] | * [http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3533067/Loyal-to-a-fault His sockpuppet account, “Quinn”] | ||