Fellatio: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Fellatio.gif|left]]
{{spoiler|Switzerland is getting [http://www.thelocal.ch/20160623/geneva-to-get-cafe-fellatio-by-end-of-year blowjob cafés]}}
 
[[Image:Fellatio animated sketch.gif|left]]
[[Image:006-3-dildo-monster.jpg|thumb|Might need a few moar mouths for this one.]]
[[Image:006-3-dildo-monster.jpg|thumb|Might need a few moar mouths for this one.]]
{{quote2|I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.|J. Edgar Hoover}}
 
The opposite of [[anal sex]]. Fellatio is a Latin word, which means "the act of [[cockmongler|sucking cock]]". [[Your Mom]] does this ''really well'', but your dad needs more practice.
{{quote2|I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.
|J. Edgar Hoover}}
 
 
{{Quote|A blowjob isn't with your mouth.  It's with your heart.  Now get on your knees and put that heart to work|[[South Park]]}}
 
The opposite of [[anal sex]]. Fellatio is a Latin word which means "the act of [[cockmongler|sucking cock]]". [[Your Mom]] does this ''really well'', but your dad needs more practice.


It's also A character in William [[Shakespeare]]'s ''The Tempest''. Not to be confused with Bond villain henchman, Oddjob (unless that was one of those "odd jobs" he was named after).
It's also A character in William [[Shakespeare]]'s ''The Tempest''. Not to be confused with Bond villain henchman, Oddjob (unless that was one of those "odd jobs" he was named after).


[[Texas]] [[Republicans]] have introduced a law to outlaw gay sex and sodomy. Problem is, sodomy includes fellatio and therefore all blowjobs would be illegal in Texas which ironically would make Texas the gayest state in the Union.
[[Texas]] [[Republican]]s have introduced a law to outlaw gay sex and sodomy. Problem is, sodomy includes fellatio and therefore all blowjobs would be illegal in Texas which ironically would make Texas the gayest state in the Union.


Be very careful when considering to offer fellatio, as you are going down a one way path. Think ''long and hard'' on what this whoring expert has to say of the matter:
Be very careful when considering to offer fellatio, as you are going down a one way path. Think ''long and hard'' on what this whoring expert has to say of the matter:


{{quote|1=Once a dick has been sucked, it cannot be un-sucked. The person having sucked said dick will forever be left with the stigma of having a dick in, and around, their mouth. Furthermore, common knowledge of this dick sucking incident will result in future ridicule and perhaps complete alienation from ones social community. Due to this permanent nature of dick sucking, the decision to suck and/or lick a dick must not be taken lightly.|2=[http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Can_you_unsuck_a_penis It's true]}}
{{quote|Once a dick has been sucked, it cannot be un-sucked. The person having sucked said dick will forever be left with the stigma of having a dick in, and around, their mouth. Furthermore, common knowledge of this dick sucking incident will result in future ridicule and perhaps complete alienation from ones social community. Due to this permanent nature of dick sucking, the decision to suck and/or lick a dick must not be taken lightly.
|[http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Can_you_unsuck_a_penis It's true]}}
 
[[Image:Loveisinthemouth.jpg|thumb|Nothing but pure love.]]
 
== Technique ==
 
''Explanations on how to get head—written by an [[expert]]!''
 
# Get her really drunk
# [[????]]
# [[Profit|Get her to suck your dick]]!


==Technique==
[[File:SuckItBiatch.jpg|thumb|A truly master.]]
''Explanation on how to get head--written by the [[expert]]!''
#Get her really drunk
#[[????]]
#[[Profit|Get her to suck your dick]]!


'''The Variation''', popular with [[self injury]] folk:
'''The Variation''', popular with [[self injury]] folk:
#While she is sucking, tell her that you will [[rape]] her.
#She will at this point bite your penis off.
#[[Fail|Awesome!]].


===Gay head===
# While she is sucking, tell her that you will [[rape]] her.
# She will at this point bite your penis off.
# [[Fail|Awesome!]].
 
=== Gay head ===
 
Gay head is different because you do not have to get any girls drunk. All gay men love giving head so you don't have to even worry if you're ugly or have a small hairy cock. Gay men will suck on any cock at any time. This is because if you are gay you can either suck cock or take it up the [[ass]], so [[you|gay men]] don't have many options to choose from.
Gay head is different because you do not have to get any girls drunk. All gay men love giving head so you don't have to even worry if you're ugly or have a small hairy cock. Gay men will suck on any cock at any time. This is because if you are gay you can either suck cock or take it up the [[ass]], so [[you|gay men]] don't have many options to choose from.


===Autofellatio===
=== Autofellatio ===
What [[you]] tried every day as a kid.
 
[[Autofellatio]] is hard to describe, but [http://www.collegesexadvice.com/suck-dick.shtml How to Suck Your Own Dick] gives a good guide. Also [[TOW]] has a [[Wikipedia:File:Autofellation drawing 2.svg|nice image]][[Media:Autofellation_drawing_2.svg.png|[1]]] of it, proving that [[Jimbo Wales]] is a [[sick fuck]].
{{Main|Auto-fellatio}}
 
What [[you]] tried every day as a kid. Auto-fellatio is hard to describe, but [http://www.collegesexadvice.com/suck-dick.shtml How to Suck Your Own Dick] gives a good guide. Also [[TOW]] has a [[Wikipedia:File:Autofellation drawing 2.svg|nice image]][[Media:Autofellation_drawing_2.svg.png|[1]]] of it and [[Wikipedia:Autofellatio#Physical aspects|info on its feasibility]]—further proving that [[Jimbo Wales]] is a [[sick fuck]].
 
== Slang ==


==Slang==
[[Image:Cooldudeirl2.jpg|thumb|Getting a blowjob is also known as "Cash"]]
[[Image:Cooldudeirl2.jpg|thumb|Getting a blowjob is also known as "Cash"]]
''Fellatio is the medical term--what are kids using on the street?''
*[[Lulz]]ing balls
*Becoming [[rich and beautiful]]
*Getting your dick sucked by your mom you fucking [[fruit]]
*[[Chookling]] mah [[13 year old boy|playmates]]- See [[Didaskalos]]
*Drinking from the [[Cock|Garden Hose]]
*Sucking Sausage
*"[[:Image:Cooldudeirl.jpg|Shit was SO cash]]"


==Benefits for Women==
''Fellatio is the medical term—what are kids using on the street?''
 
* [[Lulz]]ing balls
* Becoming [[rich and beautiful]]
* Getting your dick sucked by your mom you fucking [[fruit]]
* [[Chookling]] mah [[13-year-old boy|playmates]] (see [[Didaskalos]])
* Drinking from the [[Cock|Garden Hose]]
* Sucking Sausage
* "[[:Image:Cooldudeirl.jpg|Shit was SO cash]]"
 
== Benefits for Women ==
 
Besides being a quicker way to that big promotion, a blowjob has also been shown in various studies to be a more effective way for [[fat]] chicks to get laid. Many of these studies were done during the [[Clinton]] Administration. For [[anorexic]] girls, semen consumption provides assorted proteins and lastly, a forced blowjob makes any women learn her place.
Besides being a quicker way to that big promotion, a blowjob has also been shown in various studies to be a more effective way for [[fat]] chicks to get laid. Many of these studies were done during the [[Clinton]] Administration. For [[anorexic]] girls, semen consumption provides assorted proteins and lastly, a forced blowjob makes any women learn her place.


==Gallery==
== Video ==
{{Collapsegallery|flaccid images|Gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
 
Image:Taking good care of a penis.jpg|Best fellatio is [[kawaii]] fellatio! :3
{{center|
Image:Cucumber Fellatio.jpg|Jack (played by Jimmy Kimmel) and Janet fellate a cucumber in this remake of Three's Company.
{{frame|<youtube>PIqHHBMBtuo</youtube><center>'''Yes. You just watched that.'''</center>}}
Image:Blowjo.jpg|A very good bj.
}}
Image:Sisterhelp.jpg|Dirty [[cockmongler|bitches]] love cock.
 
Image:1blowjob-1-.jpg|This is what's really going on during a deepthroat.
== Galleries ==
 
{{cg|Flaccid Images|Gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Taking good care of a penis.jpg|Best fellatio is [[kawaii]] fellatio! :3
File:Cucumber Fellatio.jpg|Jack (played by Jimmy Kimmel) and Janet fellate a cucumber in this remake of Three's Company.
File:Blowjo.jpg|A very good bj.
File:Sisterhelp.jpg|Dirty [[cockmongler|bitches]] love cock.
File:1blowjob-1-.jpg|This is what's really going on during a deepthroat.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Stupidblowy.jpg|She tried to deep throat it and split her soft palette.
File:Stupidblowy.jpg|She tried to deep throat it and split her soft palette.
Image:Dorian-thorn-sucking-cocks.jpg|[[Dorian Thorn]] has sucked ALL the cocks.
File:Dorian-thorn-sucking-cocks.jpg|[[Dorian Thorn]] has sucked ALL the cocks.
Image:Claudia thorn cock gag.jpg|[[Dorian Thorn|Claudia Thorn]] maintains she is NOT a trashy cockwhore.
File:Claudia thorn cock gag.jpg|[[User:BekahQ|Claudia Thorn]] maintains she is NOT a trashy cockwhore.
Image:Misty Deepthroat.jpg|[[WWOEC|Artist]] depiction of cartoon deepthroat.
File:Misty Deepthroat.jpg|[[WWOEC|Artist]] depiction of cartoon deepthroat.
Image:Suckmycock.jpg|Lol, [[TOW]].
File:Suckmycock.jpg|Lol, [[TOW]].
Image:Dorian thorn sucks cock 1.jpg|[[Dorian Thorn]] sucks cock daily.
File:Just_one_of_those_days.jpg
Image:Handjob00.jpg|A handjob is [[A cat is fine too|fine too]]
File:Cocksucks.jpg|Cock sucks
Image:Monkeywiener.jpg|Animals do it [[Daft Punk|harder, better, faster, stronger]].
File:Dorian thorn sucks cock 1.jpg|[[Dorian Thorn]] sucks cock daily.
Image:Sick_grandma_sex.jpg|[[lemon party|Grandma NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!]]
File:Handjob00.jpg|A handjob is [[A cat is fine too|fine too]]
Image:Blowjob tattoo.jpg
File:Monkeywiener.jpg|Animals do it [[Daft Punk|harder, better, faster, stronger]].
Image:Institute of oral love.jpg
File:Sick_grandma_sex.jpg|[[lemon party|Grandma NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!]]
Image:First dates.jpg
File:Blowjob tattoo.jpg
Image:Fellatio_-_Clinton.jpg
File:Institute of oral love.jpg
Image:Epic_bj.jpg|AND she doesn't have any teeth!!
File:First dates.jpg
Image:Men and women's brains understanding each other.jpg
File:CrackgivinHead.jpg|Crack 'head'
Image:Blowjob.jpg|'''BLOWJORB'''
File:Cactuslol.jpg
Image:DoingItWrongBJ.jpg
File:Fellatio_-_Clinton.jpg
Image:Likc.jpg
File:Epic_bj.jpg|AND she doesn't have any teeth!!
Image:Suckifatdick.jpg
File:Men and women's brains understanding each other.jpg
Image:Crosseyebj.jpg|Cock eyed redefined
File:Blowjob.jpg|'''BLOWJORB'''
Image:Cocknose.jpg|Forcing [[retard]]s into oral isn't [[doing it wrong|wrong]] in some [[Israel|countries]].
File:DoingItWrongBJ.jpg
Image:Dalefellatio.png|[[King of the Hill]] [[doing it wrong|DOING IT WRONG]].
File:Suckifatdick.jpg
Image:Skullfuckwrong.jpg|
File:Southparksurprise.png
Image:Kosher_fellatio.jpg|Jew blowjob.
File:Crosseyebj.jpg|Cock eyed redefined
Image:Detention.jpg|Don't try it at [[school]], kiddo! (Or at least post it on [http://cgi.4chan.org/b/ /b/])
File:Cocknose.jpg|Forcing [[retard]]s into oral isn't [[doing it wrong|wrong]] in some [[Israel|countries]].
Image:Iamthejoker.jpg|those lips aren't just for looks.
File:Dalefellatio.png|[[King of the Hill]] [[doing it wrong|DOING IT WRONG]].
Image:Wasteofagoodartist_rustehc.jpg|Almost but not quite a blowjob. Also, furry.
File:Skullfuckwrong.jpg|
Image:Horn Mouth.jpg|It's like a [[LOL WUT|reverse blowjob]], but it kills you.
File:Kosher_fellatio.jpg|Jew blowjob.
Image:Cheerupblowjob.jpg
File:Detention.jpg|Don't try it at [[school]], kiddo! (Or at least post it on [[b/|/b/]])
Image:Horny Panties.PNG|That's one pair of horny underpants.
File:Iamthejoker.jpg|those lips aren't just for looks.
Image:Mouth fuck robot.jpg|Hey Ladies!
File:Wasteofagoodartist_rustehc.jpg|Almost but not quite a blowjob. Also, furry.
Image:Blowjobs prevent cancer.jpg|[[Some argue]] that [[fact|swallowing may prevent breast cancer.]]
File:Interracial_1331833844001.jpg
Image:Zangiefcum.JPG|Looks like Zangief can't swallow ''all'' of that.
File:Interracial_girls_party_sucking.jpg
Image:Pixelblowjob.jpg|You go girl!
File:U0441304319.jpg
Image:stg.jpg|Complete with squarish cum. See: [[Gloom]]
File:Nick_and_eric.jpg
Image:Twinkie blowjob.jpg
File:Gaybjob.JPG
Image:CPR class.jpg
File:Ventilation shaft.png
Image:Blow_Job_-_Coke.jpg
File:Hinder_backstage.jpg
Image:Blow_Job_-_Climbing_The_Corporate_Ladder.jpg|Climbing the corporate ladder.
File:Oldboys.jpg|[[Lemon party]]
Image:Lol_guy_me_gusta_oral_sex.jpg
File:Horn Mouth.jpg|It's like a [[LOL WUT|reverse blowjob]], but it kills you.
Image:Fitnessdickinyourmouthecards.jpg
File:Cheerupblowjob.jpg
Image:Suckskull.gif|This is what's really going on during a blowjob.
File:Horny Panties.PNG|That's one pair of horny underpants.
Image:Bite-dick blood.jpg|Fellatio [[doing it wrong|done wrong]].
File:Mouth fuck robot.jpg|Hey Ladies!
Image:693 1000.jpg
File:Blowjobs prevent cancer.jpg|[[Some argue]] that [[fact|swallowing may prevent breast cancer.]]
File:Zangiefcum.JPG|Looks like Zangief can't swallow ''all'' of that.
File:Pixelblowjob.jpg|You go girl!
File:stg.jpg|Complete with squarish cum. See: [[Gloom]]
File:Twinkie blowjob.jpg
File:CPR class.jpg
File:Blow_Job_-_Coke.jpg
File:Blow_Job_-_Climbing_The_Corporate_Ladder.jpg|Climbing the corporate ladder.
File:Lol_guy_me_gusta_oral_sex.jpg
File:Fitnessdickinyourmouthecards.jpg
File:Suckskull.gif|This is what's really going on during a blowjob.
File:Bite-dick blood.jpg|Fellatio [[doing it wrong|done wrong]].
File:693 1000.jpg
File:Dec3.jpg
File:Dec3.jpg
File:Smb.jpg
File:Smb.jpg
File:Choke.jpg
File:Choke.jpg
File:Omnomnomnomdickbiting.jpg
File:Omnomnomnomdickbiting.jpg
File:Happyhoe.jpg|Bitches love sucking dick
File:Inyourmouth.jpg
File:Dick_cock_cheese_smegma22.jpg|Eating some dick cheese
File:Free-blow-job-video.jpg
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}
{{center|1=[http://rb.booru.org/index.php?page=post&s=list&tags=fellatio+-animated more images]}}


<br />
{{cg|Animated GIFs|FAGs|center|<gallery perrow="5">
 
File:Mouth Rape.gif|Proper technique
{{Collapsegallery|Gifs|Gifs|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Japanese blowjob.gif
Image:Mouth Rape.gif|Proper technique
File:BlowJobSlapCombo.gif|What to do when the bitch fails it
Image:Japanese blowjob.gif
File:Suck11.gif
Image:BlowJobSlapCombo.gif|What to do when the bitch fails it
File:Tongueskills.gif|A future fellatrix training
Image:Suck11.gif
Image:Tongueskills.gif|A future fellatrix training
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Blowjobgirl.gif|Is she still alive? Hint: It's a trap.
File:MayLeeFellatio.gif|SUCK ME
Image:Surprise_facefucking.gif|[[Doing it right]]
File:Forzaiger.gif|Going bananas.
Image:Jihad Continues.gif|Delicious!
File:Blowjobgirl.gif|Is she still alive? Hint: It's a trap.
Image:Gooeybj.gif|Some are [[milk|gooier]] than others.
File:Surprise_facefucking.gif|[[Doing it right]]
Image:Dualblowjob.gif|Two for one! ZOMG pr0n movie link kthnx http://www.empflix.com/view.php?id=17569
File:Jihad Continues.gif|Delicious!
Image:Animu_pr0n.gif|[[what]]
File:Gooeybj.gif|Some are [[milk|gooier]] than others.
Image:Blo1image.gif
File:Dualblowjob.gif|Two for one! ZOMG pr0n movie link kthnx http://www.empflix.com/view.php?id=17569
Image:Sarah-palin-BJ.gif
File:Animu_pr0n.gif|[[what]]
Image:Nikki_Grind.gif
File:Blo1image.gif
Image:Beardjob.gif|A more prickly version of the standard blowjob.
File:Sarah-palin-BJ.gif
Image:Bonehead.gif
File:Typicalasiangirl.gif|She succ u long time, 5 dorra.
Image:Gay_suck_773.gif|Obvious gay is Obvious.
File:Nikki_Grind.gif
Image:Gaymusclebj.gif
File:Beardjob.gif|A more prickly version of the standard blowjob.
Image:Gblow 01.gif|Ben Stiller's only successful movie
File:Bonehead.gif
Image:Gblow_02.gif  
File:Only Oldfags Remember This.gif
Image:Gblo.gif
File:Bubble.gif
Image:Gaymilitarybj.gif|The few. The proud.
File:Gay_suck_773.gif|Obvious gay is Obvious.
Image:Businessman_deepthroat.gif
File:Shower_suck.gif
Image:Crumbnigger.gif
File:Glory.gif|Homo-parental family breastfeeding. Not be a caveman
Image:Nose Secks.gif|Stick [[cock]] where?
File:Gblow 01.gif|Ben Stiller's only successful movie
Image:Mouth Cum.gif|Textbook example of '''The Volcano'''.
File:Gay suck fuck.gif
Image:Fake Cum.gif|DONT CROSS THE STREAMS!!!!
File:Gblow_02.gif  
Image:Conan_School_Girl_Gymnastics.gif|National pastime of Japan
File:Gblo.gif
Image:StreetSharks.gif
File:Gaymilitarybj_large.gif|The few. The proud.
Image:Gaydickslap.gif
File:Businessman_deepthroat.gif
Image:Paper blowjob.gif
File:Crumbnigger.gif
File:Nose Secks.gif|Stick [[cock]] where?
File:Mouth Cum.gif|Textbook example of '''The Volcano'''.
File:Fake Cum.gif|DONT CROSS THE STREAMS!!!!
File:Conan_School_Girl_Gymnastics.gif|National pastime of Japan
File:StreetSharks.gif
File:Gaydickslap.gif
File:Paper blowjob.gif
File:Facefuck Throw Up.gif
File:Facefuck Throw Up.gif
File:Suck221.gif
File:Suck222.gif
File:Suck223.gif
File:Suck224.gif
File:Suck226.gif
File:Suck227.gif
File:Suck228.gif
File:Suck229.gif
File:Suck231.gif
File:Suck232.gif
File:Suck233.gif
File:Suck235.gif
File:Suck237.gif
File:Suck238.gif
File:Suck239.gif
File:Suck240.gif
File:Suck241.gif
File:Suck242.gif
File:Suck243.gif
File:Suck244.gif
File:Suck245.gif
File:Suck246.gif
File:Suck247.gif
File:Suck249.gif
File:Suck250.gif
File:Suck251.gif
File:Suck252.gif
File:Suck254.gif
File:Suck255.gif
File:Suck257.gif
File:Suck258.gif
File:Suck259.gif
File:Suck260.gif
File:Suck261.gif
File:Suck262.gif
File:Suck263.gif
File:Suck264.gif
File:Suck265.gif
File:Suck266.gif
File:Suck268.gif
File:Suck269.gif
File:Suck270.gif
File:Suck271.gif
File:Suck273.gif
File:Suck274.gif
File:Suck275.gif
File:Suck276.gif
File:Suck277.gif
File:Suck278.gif
File:Suck282.gif
File:Suck287.gif
File:Suck288.gif
File:Suck289.gif
File:Suck290.gif
File:Suck291.gif
File:Suck292.gif
File:Suck293.gif
File:Suck294.gif
File:Suck295.gif
File:Suck297.gif
File:Suck298.gif
File:Suck299.gif
File:Suck300.gif
File:Suck301.gif
File:Suck302.gif
File:Suck303.gif
File:Suck304.gif
File:Suck305.gif
File:Suck306.gif
File:Suck307.gif
File:Suck308.gif
File:Suck309.gif
File:Suck310.gif
File:Suck311.gif
File:Suck312.gif
File:Suck313.gif
File:Suck314.gif
File:Suck315.gif
File:Suck316.gif
File:Suck324.gif
File:Darklovelolibj.gif
File:Scold's bridle.gif|Peace, quiet, and blowjobs on tap
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}
{{center|1=[http://rb.booru.org/index.php?page=post&s=list&tags=fellatio+animated more images]}}
== See Also ==


==Videos==
* [[Woman]]: Giver of Blowjobs
<center><youtube>PIqHHBMBtuo</youtube><br>Yes. You just watched that.</center>
* [[You]]: [[Truth|Someone who'll never receive a blowjob]].
* [[Sex]]: Like a Blowjob with chance of [[breeder|babies]]!
* [[Do You Want To Play With My Balls]]
* [[Gay]]: If a guy is doing this to you
* [[No Homo]]: Save against the gay
* [[Here Comes The Airplane]]


==Moar Blowjorbs!==
== External Links ==
 
* [http://www.dontspitswallow.com dontspitswallow.com] - "''Cock suckers united to help you swallow.''"
* [http://www.xgentube.com/video/9814/German-bathroom-blowjob-creampie-from-Share-Adult/ German bathroom blowjob]
* [http://www.xgentube.com/video/9814/German-bathroom-blowjob-creampie-from-Share-Adult/ German bathroom blowjob]
* [http://analsixxdoesntcount.tumblr.com/ Brittany Sixx Blowjob]
* [http://analsixxdoesntcount.tumblr.com/ Brittany Sixx Blowjob]
* [http://www.yaptube.com/watch/bar_tender_blow_job.html try here.][http://www.spankwire.com/Blonde-Bartender-Sucks-the-Schlong-TWICE/video111453/ cumshot BONUS!]
* [http://www.yaptube.com/watch/bar_tender_blow_job.html try here.][http://www.spankwire.com/Blonde-Bartender-Sucks-the-Schlong-TWICE/video111453/ cumshot BONUS!]


==See Also==
*[[Woman]]: Giver of Blowjobs
*[[You]]: [[Truth|Someone who'll never receive a blowjob]].
*[[Sex]]: Like a Blowjob with chance of [[breeder|babies]]!
*[[Gay]]: If a guy is doing this to you
*[[No Homo]]: Save against the gay


{{sex}}
{{sex}}


 
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:Sex]]

Revision as of 19:49, 26 August 2022

This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT Switzerland is getting blowjob cafés!!!1
Might need a few moar mouths for this one.


   
“ 		 
I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.


 

„
  		 

—J. Edgar Hoover


   
“ 		 
A blowjob isn't with your mouth. It's with your heart. Now get on your knees and put that heart to work
  		„
  		 

—South Park

The opposite of anal sex. Fellatio is a Latin word which means "the act of sucking cock". Your Mom does this really well, but your dad needs more practice.

It's also A character in William Shakespeare's The Tempest. Not to be confused with Bond villain henchman, Oddjob (unless that was one of those "odd jobs" he was named after).

Texas Republicans have introduced a law to outlaw gay sex and sodomy. Problem is, sodomy includes fellatio and therefore all blowjobs would be illegal in Texas which ironically would make Texas the gayest state in the Union.

Be very careful when considering to offer fellatio, as you are going down a one way path. Think long and hard on what this whoring expert has to say of the matter:


   
“ 		 
Once a dick has been sucked, it cannot be un-sucked. The person having sucked said dick will forever be left with the stigma of having a dick in, and around, their mouth. Furthermore, common knowledge of this dick sucking incident will result in future ridicule and perhaps complete alienation from ones social community. Due to this permanent nature of dick sucking, the decision to suck and/or lick a dick must not be taken lightly.


 

„
  		 

—It's true

Nothing but pure love.

Technique

Explanations on how to get head—written by an expert!

  1. Get her really drunk
  2. ????
  3. Get her to suck your dick!
A truly master.

The Variation, popular with self injury folk:

  1. While she is sucking, tell her that you will rape her.
  2. She will at this point bite your penis off.
  3. Awesome!.

Gay head

Gay head is different because you do not have to get any girls drunk. All gay men love giving head so you don't have to even worry if you're ugly or have a small hairy cock. Gay men will suck on any cock at any time. This is because if you are gay you can either suck cock or take it up the ass, so gay men don't have many options to choose from.

Autofellatio

Moar info: Auto-fellatio.

What you tried every day as a kid. Auto-fellatio is hard to describe, but How to Suck Your Own Dick gives a good guide. Also TOW has a nice image[1] of it and info on its feasibility—further proving that Jimbo Wales is a sick fuck.

Slang

Getting a blowjob is also known as "Cash"

Fellatio is the medical term—what are kids using on the street?

Benefits for Women

Besides being a quicker way to that big promotion, a blowjob has also been shown in various studies to be a more effective way for fat chicks to get laid. Many of these studies were done during the Clinton Administration. For anorexic girls, semen consumption provides assorted proteins and lastly, a forced blowjob makes any women learn her place.

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    Best fellatio is kawaii fellatio! :3

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    Jack (played by Jimmy Kimmel) and Janet fellate a cucumber in this remake of Three's Company.

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    This is what's really going on during a deepthroat.

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    Proper technique

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    A future fellatrix training

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    Is she still alive? Hint: It's a trap.

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    A more prickly version of the standard blowjob.

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    Obvious gay is Obvious.

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    Homo-parental family breastfeeding. Not be a caveman

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    Ben Stiller's only successful movie

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    Textbook example of The Volcano.

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    DONT CROSS THE STREAMS!!!!

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    National pastime of Japan

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    Peace, quiet, and blowjobs on tap

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External Links


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