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''See also: [[Ayn Rand]], a dried-up meth-addicted lying sea hag whore.'' | |||
[[Image:Ayn_rand.JPG|thumb|The prophet lying through her teeth during her testimony before the House [[Why_do_you_hate_America%3F|Un American Activities]] Committee]] | [[Image:Ayn_rand.JPG|thumb|The prophet lying through her teeth during her testimony before the House [[Why_do_you_hate_America%3F|Un American Activities]] Committee]] | ||
[[Image:juche.JPG|thumb|Monument to Objectivism]] | [[Image:juche.JPG|thumb|Monument to Objectivism]] | ||
A '''Randroid''' is a follower of Objectivism, a [[quasidan|phallocentric]] [[religion]] designed to turn basement dwellers into self-righteous zealots devoted to the worship of a [[Ayn Rand|dead soviet hag]]. It is the most [[ Divide_by_zero|rational belief system]] in human history. | A '''Randroid''' is a follower of Objectivism, a [[quasidan|phallocentric]] [[religion]] designed to turn basement dwellers into self-righteous zealots devoted to the worship of a [[Ayn Rand|dead soviet hag]]. It is the most [[ Divide_by_zero|rational belief system]] in human history. | ||
[[file:ayn rand vs george orwell(eric blair).jpg|thumb|[[Faggot]] or [[whore]]. Choose wisely!]] | [[file:ayn rand vs george orwell(eric blair).jpg|thumb|[[Faggot]] or [[whore]]. Choose wisely!]] | ||
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Randroids see the world in black and white. Everything can be nicely summed up with bumper stickers and quotes, and a polemic ridden with fallacies and flaws by a guy named Spooner can tell you exactly how the world works. You're either a hard working citizen or a parasitic leech. | Randroids see the world in black and white. Everything can be nicely summed up with bumper stickers and quotes, and a polemic ridden with fallacies and flaws by a guy named Spooner can tell you exactly how the world works. You're either a hard working citizen or a parasitic leech. | ||
Ayn Rand specifically rejected [[Jesus|Jesus H. Christ]] as her Lord and Savior, and (barring an unlikely last-minute change of heart) is currently burning alive in the fiery pits of [[Hell]] as you read this. Somebody didn't pay attention in [[Auschwitz|Sunday | Ayn Rand, as a Jew does, specifically rejected [[Jesus|Jesus H. Christ]] as her Lord and Savior, and (barring an unlikely last-minute change of heart) is currently burning alive in the fiery pits of [[Hell]] as you read this. Somebody didn't pay attention in [[Auschwitz|Sunday school]]! | ||
== ''Atlas Shrugged; Or, My Struggle'' == | == ''Atlas Shrugged; Or, My Struggle'' == | ||
On the night of January 16th 1947, after a day of drug-fueled testimony before the House Un-American Activities Committee, and a night of transcontinental railroad travel, a | On the night of January 16th 1947, after a day of drug-fueled testimony before the House's Un-American Activities Committee, and a night of transcontinental railroad travel, a twacked-out Ayn Rand fainted in the arms of her twin brother Slappey Rosenbaum, an illegal alien then known as Andy "Randy Andy" Rand. She awoke the next morning in the bathroom of her tidy Hollywood Hills apartment, with her bloomers around her ankles and the platen of a Remington Royal Quiet De Luxe manual typewriter shoved up her ass. Terrifyingly, the bathroom door had been bricked up during her unconsciousness, rendering escape impossible. The bathroom had been stocked with survival supplies, including a small drinking cup, a folder containing a complete run of clipped-out ''Little Orphan Annie'' comic strips, a supply of soap and toilet tissue, a copy of Garet Garrett's 1922 novel ''The Driver'', and forty reams of 20# bond typing paper, plus assorted typewriter ribbons, feminine hygiene supplies, and some Ovaltine. A note, handwritten in feces, had been left on the wall of the shower stall: "Create Your Art -- BITCH! LUV FRANK". Despite her frantic cries for help, neither her husband, actor Frank O'Connor, nor her brother esponded. (Rand would later discover that her twin brother had paid ten years of rent and utilty bills in advance and fled with O'Connor. Rosenbaum then successfully impersonated his sister, taking her place in the eyes of the world -- and in the arms of her husband -- for the subsequent ten years.) | ||
In 1957, after a decade of imprisonment, Rand managed to escape her prison by dissolving the mortar holding the brick wall together with her bile. Making her way to New York, she surprised her brother in his West 34th Street apartment and murdered him with a menorah. (Rand was never charged since no record of Slappey Rosenbaum as a separate person was ever found. She admitted in a posthumous note that she had dismembered her brother with a gold, dollar-sign-shaped brooch, chewed his body into pieces, and disposed of the remains via the toilet.) Assuming her life again, Rand submitted her manuscript for a novel entitled "The Strike" to Random House; this novel, retitled ''Atlas Shrugged'', was published by them in October. The rest is literary history. | In 1957, after a decade of imprisonment, Rand managed to escape her prison by dissolving the mortar holding the brick wall together with her bile. Making her way to New York, she surprised her brother in his West 34th Street apartment and murdered him with a menorah. (Rand was never charged since no record of Slappey Rosenbaum as a separate person was ever found. She admitted in a posthumous note that she had dismembered her brother with a gold, dollar-sign-shaped brooch, chewed his body into pieces, and disposed of the remains via the toilet.) Assuming her life again, Rand submitted her manuscript for a novel entitled "The Strike" to Random House; this novel, retitled ''Atlas Shrugged'', was published by them in October. The rest is literary history. | ||
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The novel itself is virtually unreadable; only a small percentage of readers actually finish the book, and then only by skipping the chapter containing hero [[torture|John Galt's Speech]]. It [[TL;DR|is simply so long]] that [[Serious Business|being told to read it should be taken as a death threat]], [[FACT|as you are more likely to starve than to finish it]], much like [[bible|the holy babble]]. | The novel itself is virtually unreadable; only a small percentage of readers actually finish the book, and then only by skipping the chapter containing hero [[torture|John Galt's Speech]]. It [[TL;DR|is simply so long]] that [[Serious Business|being told to read it should be taken as a death threat]], [[FACT|as you are more likely to starve than to finish it]], much like [[bible|the holy babble]]. | ||
'''SPOILER''' In the end, the Good Guys (who first destroy the world's economy, which sounds like something the [[freemason| | '''SPOILER''' In the end, the Good Guys (who first destroy the world's economy, which sounds like something the [[freemason|Illuminati]]) go free John Galt from the President of the United States, who is torturing John Galt until he fixes the economy in the most boring rescue mission ever (since the prison guards the prison flee in terror or die upon sight of Dagny). After the rescue mission, the Good Guys "win" by ''hiding in a valley in Colorado'', protected by a ''[[bullshit|magic force field]] that makes people under it invisible from the air''. [[Lulz|For obvious reasons,]] objectivists never, ever mention this part of the story. | ||
== Fundamentals == | == Fundamentals == | ||
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:: Any arguments with a Randroid based on currently existing examples of capitalism, like corporate corruption and sweatshop/slave labour exploitation for example, are quickly dismissed as “not true examples of capitalism, because they involve state authority”. This is why they sound like Communists and can be used for trolling purposes. | :: Any arguments with a Randroid based on currently existing examples of capitalism, like corporate corruption and sweatshop/slave labour exploitation for example, are quickly dismissed as “not true examples of capitalism, because they involve state authority”. This is why they sound like Communists and can be used for trolling purposes. | ||
* Convenient hypocrisy is a staple of Objectivism so they defend anything that doesn't match their cock-eyed definition with cries of "not true Capitalism due to authority involvement". | * Convenient hypocrisy is a staple of Objectivism so they defend anything that doesn't match their cock-eyed definition with cries of "not true Capitalism due to authority involvement". | ||
:: i.e. [[Bill Gates]] represents true Capitalism, while [[George Soros]] doesn't. Nazi Germany was a bad [[Racist|racially-based]] [[Socialist|welfare/warfare]] State, but Israel is a good [[Racist|racially-based]] [[Socialist|welfare/warfare]] state. You may see a Jew here. | :: i.e. [[Bill Gates]] represents true Capitalism, while [[George Soros]]{{jew}} doesn't. Nazi Germany was a bad [[Racist|racially-based]] [[Socialist|welfare/warfare]] State, but Israel is a good [[Racist|racially-based]] [[Socialist|welfare/warfare]] state. You may see a Jew here. | ||
*Charity is bad. | *Charity is bad. | ||
*All rich people are geniuses who achieved everything they had through hard work and owe nothing to the rich parents who bought them Ivy League educations. | *All rich people are geniuses who achieved everything they had through hard work and owe nothing to the rich parents who bought them Ivy League educations. | ||
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Acolytes are brainwashed in grad school or early college and then begin a painful process of [[DO_NOT_WANT|rejection]], [[butthurt|acceptance]] and finally self-[[raep|classification]] into either of the two formal Objectivist sects: | Acolytes are brainwashed in grad school or early college and then begin a painful process of [[DO_NOT_WANT|rejection]], [[butthurt|acceptance]] and finally self-[[raep|classification]] into either of the two formal Objectivist sects: | ||
*The [[nazis|hardliners]]: or "hawks" are centered around the Holy See in Irving, Ca where Ayn Rand left her estate to the State of Israel as yet another perpetual embassy between the two countries. They believe in Militarism, Randian Infallibility, Brandian Fallibility, and the immaculate conception of the Atlas Shrugged. Demanding | *The [[nazis|hardliners]]: or "hawks" are centered around the Holy See in Irving, Ca where Ayn Rand left her estate to the State of Israel as yet another perpetual embassy between the two countries. They believe in Militarism, Randian Infallibility, Brandian Fallibility, and the immaculate conception of the Atlas Shrugged. Demanding governments to nuke Tehran is at the top of their priorities. | ||
*The [[fags|moderates]]: or "faggots" are [http://www.solopassion.com spread] throughout the tubes and present a more [[gay|amicable]], and in that way deceiving, face of Objectivism. They believe in Brandian Infallibility, Randian Fallibility, and the possibility of Atlas Shrugged being a ripoff of [http://mises.org/books/driver.pdf Garet Garrett's 1922 novel The Driver] . Keeping government out of man-boy buttsecks is at the top of their priorities. | *The [[fags|moderates]]: or "faggots" are [http://www.solopassion.com spread] throughout the tubes and present a more [[gay|amicable]], and in that way deceiving, face of Objectivism. They believe in Brandian Infallibility, Randian Fallibility, and the possibility of Atlas Shrugged being a ripoff of [http://mises.org/books/driver.pdf Garet Garrett's 1922 novel The Driver] . Keeping government out of man-boy buttsecks is at the top of their priorities. | ||
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[http://seienchan.livejournal.com seienchan] [[HAHAHA_DISREGARD_THAT%2C_I_SUCK_COCKS|DISREGARD THAT]], MOVED TO [http://rihatsu62.livejournal.com here] and [http://rihatsu-valleyforge.blogspot.com/ her personal soapbox]: | [http://seienchan.livejournal.com seienchan] [[HAHAHA_DISREGARD_THAT%2C_I_SUCK_COCKS|DISREGARD THAT]], MOVED TO [http://rihatsu62.livejournal.com here] and [http://rihatsu-valleyforge.blogspot.com/ her personal soapbox]: | ||
A 17-year-old Britfag weeaboo-turned-Randroid under the delusion that she's some [[serious business]] in [[1980|America]]. Spends most of her time talking about how black person Obama is, the evils of [[socialism]], and endeavoring to incorporate every aspect of Rand's shitty writing into her life. Deletes any comment she deems not in the spirit of her | A 17-year-old Britfag weeaboo-turned-Randroid under the delusion that she's some [[serious business]] in [[1980|America]]. Spends most of her time talking about how black person Obama is, the evils of [[socialism]], and endeavoring to incorporate every aspect of Rand's shitty writing into her life. Deletes any comment she deems not in the spirit of her Fuhrerin, despite having said that she wants criticism and seems to be developing a persecution complex. | ||
=== Jay Naylor === | === Jay Naylor === | ||
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* Point out that our perception of the world is purely phenomenal. Use Russell and Kant to illustrate this point. For those more interesting in trolling mention Berkeley. | * Point out that our perception of the world is purely phenomenal. Use Russell and Kant to illustrate this point. For those more interesting in trolling mention Berkeley. | ||
* Remind them that Descartes demonstrated that the existence of an objective universe exterior to the mind is not objectively demonstrable, since the sensory perceptions upon which we rely as "evidence" of its existence are inherently ''subjective'' and unreliable [[retard|QED]] | * Remind them that Descartes demonstrated that the existence of an objective universe exterior to the mind is not objectively demonstrable, since the sensory perceptions upon which we rely as "evidence" of its existence are inherently ''subjective'' and unreliable [[retard|QED]]. | ||
=== Conclusion/Expectations === | === Conclusion/Expectations === | ||
It's the closest experience you'll have to arguing with a | It's the closest experience you'll have to arguing with a American/Capitalist during the late 60s: Don't expect even the slightest pretense of acknowledgment of your points, much less a pretense of rational debate; instead, you'll be called a [[Barack Obama|communist]], a [[Barack Obama|socialist]], a [[shit nobody cares about|Chomsky]]ite, or worse. Here's an [http://dis.4chan.org/read/newpol/1195059362/84- example]. | ||
== | == ''BioShock'' == | ||
Recently, Rand's [[bullshit|philosophy]] was deconstructed in the [[Shit|brilliant]] satire of the game [[ | Recently, Rand's [[bullshit|philosophy]] was deconstructed in the [[Shit|brilliant]] satire of the game ''[[BioShock]]''. | ||
The basic plot goes like this: A bunch of randroids get rounded up and placed at the bottom on the ocean. They swiftly collapse the [[retard|ingenious society]] which they built by somehow obtaining an addiction to stem cells. They roam the city seeking [[buttsecks]] and you have to go and beat them to death, so on and so forth. Rand herself is represented in the from of the mayor of the city, Andrew Ryan. | The basic plot goes like this: A bunch of randroids get rounded up and placed at the bottom on the ocean. They swiftly collapse the [[retard|ingenious society]] which they built by somehow obtaining an addiction to stem cells. They roam the city seeking [[buttsecks]] and you have to go and beat them to death, so on and so forth. Rand herself is represented in the from of the mayor of the city, Andrew Ryan. | ||
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* [http://www.nathanielbranden.com Lucifer] | * [http://www.nathanielbranden.com Lucifer] | ||
* [http://world.std.com/~mhuben/critobj.html To help you troll more efficiently] | * [http://world.std.com/~mhuben/critobj.html To help you troll more efficiently] | ||
{{Religions}} | {{Religions}} | ||