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I made it sound less faggy
imported>Fascists (→Piedmont Virginia Community College: fix'd redlink) |
imported>Branman65 (I made it sound less faggy) |
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[[Image:YoungChrissy.jpg|thumb|right|300px|A [[Shotacon|young]], non-overweight, non-perverse<br>Christian Weston Chandler.<br>Bless.]] | [[Image:YoungChrissy.jpg|thumb|right|300px|A [[Shotacon|young]], non-overweight, non-perverse<br>Christian Weston Chandler.<br>Bless.]] | ||
Contrary to popular belief, our friend Christian wasn't always the socially awkward, perverse, racist, shut-in, freakish [[Fatass|fatty]] that he is today. Until recently, he actually had a social life (albeit just as socially awkward and perverse)! Unfortunately, he did leave a trail of | Contrary to popular belief, our friend Christian/Christine wasn't always the socially awkward, lewd, perverse, [[racist]], shut-in, freakish [[liberalism|liberal]] [[Fatass|McDonald's consuming fatty]] that he is today. Until recently, he actually had a social life (albeit just as socially awkward and perverse)! Unfortunately, he did leave a trail of terrified [[Christian|non-libtard-indoctrinated]] children, [[females|Janekops]] and [[security|security guards]] in his wake, but [[shit no one cares about|no one gives a fuck about that]]. | ||
So come join us as [[ED]] takes you on a mystical, magical and whimsical journey around Christian's world and the state of Virginia, which often ends with hilarious consequences of [[b&|bannings]] and restraining orders!!! | So come join us as [[ED]] takes you on a mystical, magical and whimsical journey around Christian's world and the state of Virginia, which often ends with hilarious consequences of [[b&|bannings]] and restraining orders!!! | ||
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=The Chandler Residence= | =The Chandler Residence= | ||
===The House=== | ===The House (A.K.A. "The Dragon's Lair")=== | ||
Chris has doxxed himself in many of his videos, usually when trying to prove his mad transgender identity, or to get wise trolls to confront his greasy, slimy face and [[lol|fight him in real life]]. | |||
Btw check out the tour video of his house, and the complete raging aftermath a few months later. When he goes on a toddler-like rampage about people mirroring the videos of his house. With the appearance of Bob, who is paranoid and pissed off at Chris for sharing [[sensitive|private]] details about their location, worrying if the [[Greene County Health Department]] or other heroes saw the videos, that they would rightfully condemn their personal [[landfill]]. | |||
Bob's dementia-induced paranoia about his house's condition was not unfounded, though not because of the health department. Chris ended up burning the house down while trying to make cat poop coffee for his [[liberalism|psychosis-stricken]] mother Barbara in the bathroom. The hoarded clutter that was literally up to the ceiling was [[spectacular]] kindling performed by all 3 of that same personal landfill's [[dementia]] patients. | |||
{{center|<youtube>a9Lc8jLVpMY</youtube>}} | |||
<!--DO NOT POST CHRIS'S ADDRESS--> | <!--DO NOT POST CHRIS'S ADDRESS--> | ||
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:::::::* His incredible attachment to material possessions, as evidenced by the incredible amounts of clutter that lie in his room. | :::::::* His incredible attachment to material possessions, as evidenced by the incredible amounts of clutter that lie in his room. | ||
:::::::* His also incredible laziness, as evidence by the large amounts of disorganized clutter that lie on the floor, his bed and his couch. | :::::::* His also incredible laziness, as evidence by the large amounts of disorganized clutter that lie on the floor, his bed and his couch. | ||
:::::::* In contrast, notice the careful and orderly arrangement of his [[video games]], DVDs, trading cards, posters and toys: evidence of how they rank on his list of priorities when compared to serious stuff like work or school. | :::::::* In contrast, notice the careful and orderly arrangement of his stolen/hoarded [[video games]], scratched DVDs, chipped trading cards, ripped posters and broken toys: evidence of how they rank on his list of priorities when compared to serious stuff like work or school. | ||
:::::::* [[Chris-chan/People#Megan_Schroeder|Megan]]'s shrine, the definite and unquestionable proof of Chris's obsession with the only person that has ever been friendly to him. | :::::::* [[Chris-chan/People#Megan_Schroeder|Megan]]'s Holy Hoo-Hoo shrine, the definite and unquestionable proof of Chris's obsession with the only person that has ever been friendly to him. | ||
:::::::* The notoriously high presence of [[Pokémon]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and other franchises aimed at 8-12 year old kids — or in other words, people of the same mental and emotional age as Chris. | :::::::* The notoriously high presence of [[Pokémon|PokeFag material]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sanic]] and other franchises aimed at [[screeching]] [[autistic]] 8-12 year old kids — or in other words, people of the same mental and emotional age as Chris. | ||
:::::::* Also, the prominent presence of [[Transformers]], held by Chris as a symbol of manliness, are one more proof of Chris's [[Gay|fear of becoming a homo]]. | :::::::* Also, the prominent presence of [[Transformers]], held by Chris as a symbol of manliness, are one more proof of Chris's [[Gay|fear of becoming a homo]]. | ||
:::::::* The fact that most of his possessions are toys or video games — that is, things he can absolutely control, that always do what he wants, basically the wet dream of a manipulator. | :::::::* The fact that most of his possessions are toys or video games — that is, things he can absolutely control, that always do what he wants, basically the wet dream of a manipulator. | ||
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On first examination, you'd be forgiven for mistaking Chris's yard for [[Silent Hill]], But the yard of the house consists of some simple crossed wood planters near the curb and some small shrubs and trees out front. | On first examination, you'd be forgiven for mistaking Chris's yard for [[Silent Hill]], But the yard of the house consists of some simple crossed wood planters near the curb and some small shrubs and trees out front. | ||
The plants in the planters have long since died, probably due to a foul stench poisoning the air. The backyard contains a shed, and a small platform leading to a back entrance. The shed is full of shit, most notably a car, and was once the place where the [[Chris-chan/People#Bob_Chandler_.28Father.29|Lumberjack]] would tinker with machines. After that, there are some trees and the pen where Patti once played. Her doghouse still stands, and she is buried nearby. At some point, a tree branch fell on the grave. Being the pansy-ass he is, Chris cannot muster the strength to pick the damn thing up. Some have speculated that this is divine intervention, in order to keep Patti's body safe from Chris and his fur-fag tendencies. | The plants in the planters have long since died, probably due to a foul stench poisoning the air. The backyard contains a shed, and a small platform leading to a back entrance. The shed is full of shit, most notably a car, and was once the place where the [[Chris-chan/People#Bob_Chandler_.28Father.29|Lumberjack]] would tinker with machines. After that, there are some trees and the pen where Patti once played. Her doghouse still stands, and she is buried nearby. At some point, a tree branch fell on the grave. Being the pansy-ass he is, Chris cannot muster the strength to pick the damn thing up. Some have speculated that this is divine intervention, in order to keep Patti's body safe from Chris and his [[fur-fag]] tendencies. | ||
However in earlier pictures (when Chris was less huge and he had yet to start the fuck quest) We can see that the yard used to be quite lush and beautiful, with a variety of flowers planted around the area, the grass clipped, and the trees were healthy. | However in earlier pictures (when Chris was less huge and he had yet to start the fuck quest) We can see that the yard used to be quite lush and beautiful, with a variety of flowers planted around the area, the grass clipped, and the trees were healthy. | ||
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[[Image:Hellhole_below.jpg|thumb|left|150px|A closer aerial shot, courtesy of an AC-130. <br><br>Chris' home is at the center of the crosshair]] | [[Image:Hellhole_below.jpg|thumb|left|150px|A closer aerial shot, courtesy of an AC-130. <br><br>Chris' home is at the center of the crosshair]] | ||
[[Redneck|Rural]] area outlying Charlottesville, VA and Ground Zero of [[Chris-chan|Christian Weston Chandler]] (aka the Window to Hell). Left and returned several years later, after having problems with a | [[Redneck|Rural]] area outlying Charlottesville, VA and Ground Zero of [[Chris-chan|Christian Weston Chandler]] (aka the Window to Hell). Left and returned several years later, after having problems with a local [[atheism|Secular Humanist]] center for junior atheists near Richmond. | ||
:::[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruckersville,_Virginia Wikipedia Article]{{clear}} | :::[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruckersville,_Virginia Wikipedia Article]{{clear}} | ||
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[[Image:CharlottesvilleHickMap.jpg|thumb|left|150px|A Map of Charlottesville, as drawn by a retard.]] | [[Image:CharlottesvilleHickMap.jpg|thumb|left|150px|A Map of Charlottesville, as drawn by a retard.]] | ||
To America, it's the home of Thomas Jefferson's home Monticello and the University of Virginia. For [[Chris-chan|Christian Weston Chandler]], it's home to [[Chris-chan/Places#The_Fashion_Square_Mall|Fashion Square Mall]], [[Chris-chan/Places#The_GAMe_PLACe|Game Place]], and various other stores | To America, it's the home of Thomas Jefferson's home Monticello and the University of Virginia. For [[Chris-chan|Christian Weston Chandler]], it's home to [[Chris-chan/Places#The_Fashion_Square_Mall|Fashion Square Mall]], [[Chris-chan/Places#The_GAMe_PLACe|Game Place]], and various other stores the notorious brain-injured [[cuck]] is banned from. | ||
The town is so quaint that they drew a map of the place so that it looks like a low budget 80's theme park. According to the map the entrance of the town is guarded by the world's biggest knight. | |||
At first glance, Ruckersville might look like a god-lovin' small town from the outside, until you realize that it's actually the USA's Secular Humanists' top secret HQ town! | |||
Don't understand? Well, since the early 1960's, all US public schools (and even most private schools) became mandated to serve up secular-humanist edukkkaytion to all children, in order to fulfill the liberals' agenda of raising a whole nation of [[brainwashing|smart,]] [[feminazi|rational]] [[fascists|warriors]] to save Murica from [[Trump]]. Christian Chandler became the most successfully brainwashed child by the [[Democratic Party]] in 2000, and to celebrate their efforts (as well as hide from angry conservative parents in Kentucky), the liberals made their HQ located in Ruckersville where most of them reside underground in caves. | |||
This is an ongoing, major, nationwide experiment that succeeded turning billions of children into [[communism|happy, healthy, tolerant atheists]] to create mobile devices and sex toys for their mother, [[Hillary Clinton]] | |||
''Ride the | ''Ride the communist, fascist, liberal roller-coaster Y'all! We have [[transgender|blue-pink-and-white cotton candy]] and [[genderfluid|genderqueer penis-shaped fries]]!'' | ||
[http://www.discoverymap.com/Virginia/Charlottesville-Virginia-Interactive-Map.html?urlid=6906&urlloc=1 Interactive Hick Map]{{clear}} | [http://www.discoverymap.com/Virginia/Charlottesville-Virginia-Interactive-Map.html?urlid=6906&urlloc=1 Interactive Hick Map]{{clear}} | ||
=Schools= | ===Oaks, PA=== | ||
This suburb of Philadelphia, PA is home to cream cheese, the big bell, and the Greater Philadelphia Expo Center, which in [[Chris-chan|Christian Weston Chandler]]'s eyes is home to the Too Many Games convention that he is banned from. | |||
=Schools/Leftist Indoctrination Centers= | |||
===Nathanael Greene Elementary School=== | ===Nathanael Greene Elementary School=== | ||
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[[Image:Nathaniel Greene School.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Nathanael Greene Elementary School, Standardsville]] | [[Image:Nathaniel Greene School.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Nathanael Greene Elementary School, Standardsville]] | ||
Christian's elementary school. | Christian's first [[liberal]] elementary school. | ||
He was pulled out of the school by Bob, after Chris told his father that he had | He was rightfully pulled out of the school by slightly-christian Bob, after Chris told his father that he had started to hate teh ghey, due to him sitting on the [[homosexual]] principal's lap (srsly). | ||
::::[http://greenecounty.va.schoolwebpages.com/education/school/school.php?sectiondetailid=22 School Website]{{clear}} | ::::[http://greenecounty.va.schoolwebpages.com/education/school/school.php?sectiondetailid=22 School Website]{{clear}} | ||
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[[Image:Providenceschool.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Providence Middle School, Richmond]] | [[Image:Providenceschool.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Providence Middle School, Richmond]] | ||
Christian's middle school. He had | Christian's middle school. He had himself quite some [[lie|gal-pals]] there and virtually fuck all of any interest happened to him. Thus he received his middle degree in Secular Education. | ||
<br> | <br> | ||
<br> | <br> | ||
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[[Image:Manchester High School CChan.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Manchester High School, Midlothian]] | [[Image:Manchester High School CChan.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Manchester High School, Midlothian]] | ||
Perhaps the only happy four years of Chris' | Perhaps the only happy four years of Chris' secular-education life, Manchester High School is where Chris finished his compulsory liberalist education. As with his previous school, nothing eventful happened to him aside from being the water boy for his basketball team. Which is kind of shocking as you would have thought that the bullies at the school would have spent every single day of those four years tormenting Chris into killing himself. | ||
Chris had a crush on [[Chris-chan/People#Kellie_Andes|Kellie Andes]] and was more than likely made fun of on a daily basis. | Chris had a crush on [[Chris-chan/People#Kellie_Andes|Kellie Andes]] and was more than likely made fun of on a daily basis. | ||
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[[Image:James Madison University 2.jpeg|thumb|left|150px|James Madison University,<br>Shenandoah Valley]] | [[Image:James Madison University 2.jpeg|thumb|left|150px|James Madison University,<br>Shenandoah Valley]] | ||
Apparently, he commuted here for special-ed help with his friend [[Chris-chan/People#Joshua_Martinez|Joshua Martinez]]. | Apparently, he commuted here for special-ed help with his friend [[Chris-chan/People#Joshua_Martinez|Joshua Martinez]]. There, he learned to speak and do gay childhood things, like say out loud the names of fruits in a basket or the names of farm animals. | ||
If he | The likeliness for Christian requiring '''intense''' rehab, ''including'' speech therapy and '''motor skills/thinking required to work in a Chinese IPad factory in rural Beijing''' (with suicide nets, long working times and low wages), is a whopping over 97%. If he is mandated by the VA gub'ment to become an [[Apple]] slave worker, expect epic IRL trolling. | ||
<br><br><br> | <br><br><br> | ||
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:::::::* There have been emails sent by the person who manages TGP events, probably finally looking for reasons to ditch CWC's high-maintenance HFA-ass. | :::::::* There have been emails sent by the person who manages TGP events, probably finally looking for reasons to ditch CWC's high-maintenance HFA-ass. | ||
:::::::* Chris reportedly brought in consoles and hogged the store's flat screen TV, angering the manager. Of course, Chris couldn't understand why a manager would be annoyed by a squealing man bogarting his TV for hours to play Animal Crossing on "da big screen." | :::::::* Chris reportedly brought in consoles and hogged the store's flat screen TV, angering the manager. Of course, Chris couldn't understand why a manager would be annoyed by a squealing man bogarting his TV for hours to play Animal Crossing on "da big screen." | ||
:::::::* Chris has since been [[banned]] from the store for acting inappropriately (such as | :::::::* Chris has since been [[banned]] from the store for acting inappropriately (such as hating niggers, personally insulting the manager and getting into arguments with children). | ||
:::::::There were also some 12-15 year old [[Niggers| | :::::::There were also some 12-15 year old [[Niggers|Niglets]] who frequented The GAMe PLACe. Chris picked on them and acted like they wanted to steal from him. | ||
:::::::Also, Chris once argued with a huge | :::::::Also, Chris once argued with a huge [[ape]] named TJ. Obviously, Chris was in the wrong. When they started talking about how Chris would never get laid, Chris yelled, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" As TJ stood up like he was going to beat Chris's ass, Chris shrunk and whimpered, "I mean your face down monster..."{{clear}} | ||
===Piedmont Virginia Community College=== | ===Piedmont Virginia Community College=== | ||
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:::::::Chris was asked about his time at Wendy's several times after the date in March, and during that he brought up more information, particularly regarding his supervisor, who didn't think very highly of him. He mentioned a time involving him getting his uniform dirty and simply continuing to wear it, not taking into account the usual sanitation standards of most fast food restaurants and also not realizing he could get another, clean shirt. Chris made many other, probably small but frequent mistakes and likely failed to actually do his job, which apparently consisted primarily of custodial duties. The supervisor, allegedly, used the child incident to finally fire Chris, who wasn't actually notified in advance of his firing and came to work only to be told by his former co-workers that he wasn't supposed to be there. | :::::::Chris was asked about his time at Wendy's several times after the date in March, and during that he brought up more information, particularly regarding his supervisor, who didn't think very highly of him. He mentioned a time involving him getting his uniform dirty and simply continuing to wear it, not taking into account the usual sanitation standards of most fast food restaurants and also not realizing he could get another, clean shirt. Chris made many other, probably small but frequent mistakes and likely failed to actually do his job, which apparently consisted primarily of custodial duties. The supervisor, allegedly, used the child incident to finally fire Chris, who wasn't actually notified in advance of his firing and came to work only to be told by his former co-workers that he wasn't supposed to be there. | ||
:::::::If either are true, then they were petty reasons to fire a person, but because the firee in question is a sexist, racist, opinionated, socially retarded, homophobic, smelly freak like Chris, we can find their reasons totally rational.{{clear}} | :::::::If either are true, then they were petty reasons to fire a person, but because the firee in question is a [[pain series|sexist]], [[kittens|racist]], opinionated, socially retarded, [[goatse|homophobic]], smelly freak like Chris, we can find their reasons totally rational.{{clear}} | ||
===Wesley Memorial Church=== | ===Wesley Memorial Church=== | ||
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Chris also mentioned donating several hundred dollars to his church, likely this one, as well as one of the clergy there (likely his counselor) suggesting he read the "How to Talk to Girls" book written by a nine-year old. | Chris also mentioned donating several hundred dollars to his church, likely this one, as well as one of the clergy there (likely his counselor) suggesting he read the "How to Talk to Girls" book written by a nine-year old. | ||
Ironically for a | Ironically for a fag hater, Chris attends a fag-loving church because it is the only one that won't kick him out. | ||
Having been besieged with [[:File:CWCPEEEBUTT.JPG|nudes of Chris]], they now have this disclaimer on their homepage: ''"We are not responsible for any content or links that may appear on the personal web pages of any member of this congregation."''.<br><br> | Having been besieged with [[:File:CWCPEEEBUTT.JPG|nudes of Chris]], they now have this disclaimer on their homepage: ''"We are not responsible for any content or links that may appear on the personal web pages of any member of this congregation."''.<br><br> | ||
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::::::::[http://www.countrycookin.com/ Official Website] | ::::::::[http://www.countrycookin.com/ Official Website] | ||
::::::::[http://www.sayitontheweb.com/~cookin/menu/menu.pdf Downloadable PDF of the Menu]{{clear}} | ::::::::[http://www.sayitontheweb.com/~cookin/menu/menu.pdf Downloadable PDF of the Menu]{{clear}} | ||
=CWCville= | |||
[[Image:Chris-Chan-BABYGOTBACK.jpg|thumb|100px|right|Baby got Back!]] | |||
'''CWCville''' (Pronounced: Quick-ville) is Chris-chan's imaginary world. Considering how it's portrayed, its full name could be the ''Our Glorious Leader's True and Honest Lovers' City of CWCville'', in a way similar to the [http://www.korea-dpr.com/ Democratic People's Republic of Korea]. | |||
CWCville is actually two things: a fictional setting for the [[Chris-chan/Sonichu|''Sonichu'' comic]], and Chris's long-ongoing pet project. many might call it a "happy place" and an imaginary refuge from the harsh reality. The two things overlap very much. It's sort of like his own personal Silent Hill - except that instead of being a twisted Hell full of violent rage and nightmare beasts, it's a disturbingly cheerful place where Chris's bouncy creations laugh, frolic, and [[fuck]] for his amusement exactly like ''Silent Hill''. Characters are introduced without warning and fall by the wayside just as quickly; nobody's quite sure what becomes of them, but knowing Chris it probably involves anguished shrieks emanating from a love dungeon below the Mayor's house. | |||
In the ''Sonichu'' comic book world, the town is allegedly located in the state of [[Virginia]], but being a figment of Chris Chan's imagination, it will never be found on an actual map. Yet, in many ways, it seems the city is legislatively and economically cut off from the rest of Virginia and the United States. In this city, Chris Chan is a despotic mayor, where he controls everything at his own will and dictates new laws, granting him the basis of his megalomaniac tendencies. | |||
Inside the comic, CWCville is at a fierce rivalry with neighboring city of "Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens." It is under constant attack from the evil forces of Dean [[Chris-Chan/People#Mary_Lee_Walsh|Mary Lee Walsh]] and her army of [[cops|Jerkops]]. | |||
{{clear}} | |||
=See Also= | =See Also= | ||