Arkansas
Arkansas is a small state northeast of Texas. Most Arkansans are descended from a band of Neanderthals that floated to North America from Europe on a log bundle over 9,000 years ago, and survived in isolation among Native American peoples before reuniting with other white people at least 100 years ago.
As part of the Louisiana Purchase, a large number of stupid, hairy Frenchmen bred with the recent neanderthals before it became part of the United States. Although this arguably increased their intelligence beyond neanderthals, they don't want to act like they are anything more than retarded.
The legal pronunciation of Arkansas (Ark-en-saw) is a mongolation caused by the Frenchmen in Arkansas. The French Americans preferred the way it would be pronounced by a Frenchie, and since the state was part of the Louisiana Purchase, no one cared to argue. While ugly people would have preferred to pronounce the state ar-kan-sas, now the accepted form is ark-en-saw. This is one of the earliest examples of trolling in the United States government. However, most other place names in the state have been Americanized, rendering Arkansas non self-consistent and liable to suffer spontaneous existence failure at any moment. States other than Mississippi are praying for this day since it will raise the average education level of the U.S.
Until recently, Arkansas had the second lowest number of bachelor degrees per capita, second only to Mississippi. This means that it is near impossible to find a girl to have an intelligent conversation with, but makes them easier to fuck.
Arkansas has developed a little-known dialect of its own. In Arkansas, the name for someone who is single and over the age of 16 is "divorcee." The name for someone over the age of 14 is "mother" if female or "father" if male.
Arkansans are a weak diabetic race, accustomed to surviving off a diet of hog fat and common shitty home grown weeds. A favorite pastime amongst Arkansan men is displaying their "dong" to womenfolk. Arkansan women, for their part, amuse onlookers by slinging a tit over one shoulder and squirting milk behind their back. Arkansans are rare, since Black Jesus, among southerners for retaining Democratic tendencies in sizable numbers; which betrays the unusual divergence of the DNA from their more uniformly Republican neighbors.
Famous Arkansans:
- Bill Clinton - First black person President of the United States (born Bojangles Cletus Clinton in Hope, Arkansas), pimp among pimps and all around good guy.
- Mike Huckabee - If one Arkansas governor becoming President wasn't enough, soon we might have a second. Notable for trolling his entire state by forcing them to loose some weight.
- Daniel Ortega - Nicaraguan Sandinista dictator, (born Earl Ray Fugate in Paragould, Arkansas)
- Evanescence
- Corwin Jackson - A furfaggot shunned from Newgrounds for being an insane fucktard, he now resides to posting photos of his neanderthal down-syndrome face to his facebook.
- Songofthepast, 13-year-old boy who attempts to write pr0n. Also one of Tara Gilesbie's many boyfriends. He gives good reviews to My Immortal.
- The Garrisons - The bisexual teacher Mr. Garrison grew up here with his parents which is his dad didn't sexually moleste him! LOLWAT
