Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce (born Ambrose Gwinnet Bierce) was born June 24, 1842 and while he became known for a lot of things during his life, his most notable achievements included writing "The Devil's Dictionary", a lulzy predecessor to modern day ED (and from which ED draws inspiration), and being such a pissy bastard, many people referred to his as "Bitter Bierce".
Early life
He was born the son of Marcus and Laura Bierce, and because his daddy was a terminal autist, he and rest of his twelve siblings were all given names who's first letter started with A.
His family was poor, but they encouraged their son Ambrose to read and write, so from a young age, Ambrose Bierce was been trained in the art of writing something more entertaining than the graffiti and piss streaks on a Wal-Mart bathroom stall, which would further Bierce's career in producing lulz later in life.
When he was fifteen, his first job was being a printer's devil for a newspaper in Ohio.
Military Career
When the War of Northern Agression began, he joined the Union side and first got noticed by his superiors in the Battle of Philippi when he stupidly dragged some fucking idiot who got shot out of harm's way instead of leaving the dumbass to die of his own fail. Some newspapers thought this was valorous, but since his superiors were smarter than a bunch of fucktarded newspaper editors, he was eventually made a First Lieutenant in 1862 and was assigned as a "topographical engineer", which basically meant he drew pretty pictures of places where it most likely the Confederates would shoot Union soldiers in the ass since most of his commanders were too fucking dumb figure that shit out for themselves.
Regardless of having a job that should have kept his ass out of trouble, he nearly got his head blown off in 1864, spent most of the summer sleeping off the bullet in his brain, and went eventually told to GTFO the Union Army in January 1865, but not before becoming a brevet major.
Personal Life
Bierce got married in 1871, had a daughter and two sons, one of which decided to an hero because some bitch wouldn't fuck him, and the other died of alcoholism, and both died before their daddy did. Bierce eventually left his wife after he read some letters of hers and discovered a secret code in them about how she was slinging her cunt for another guy behind his back.
He also suffered lifelong asthma and had constant headaches from getting shot in the head during the Civil War, both of which made him a cranky motherfucker and contributed to his desire to take the piss out of life itself.
Journalism
After the Civil War, Bierce spent most of his time writing for various news rags, eventually becoming employed by William Randolph Hearst (who could be considered a forefather to ED itself, as he enjoyed lulz and enjoyed a wide readerbase looking for their latest lulz fix) and it was while working for Hearst Bierce would master his trade in the art of spreading lulz.
Railroad Refinancing Bill
When building the First Transcontinental Railroad, the Union and Central Pacific Railroads amssed 130 million dollars in debt, and even though the US government was really fucking lazy in expecting the money back, Collis Potter Huntington (one the guys responsible for the huge debt) tried to convince Congress to quietly write off the debt because he was a cheapass.
Hearst, however, saw some delicious drama in fucking this faggotry up, so he sent Bierce to confront Huntington on the step of the Capitol Building and threatened to expose his cheap ass to the world. When the rick fuck asked him how much money he'd have to pay Bierce to shut up, Bierce responded with,
Not long after, the U.S public flipped the fuck out over Huntington's corruption, embarrassed the hell out of Congress, and forced the railroads to pay the money they owed in the first place.