Dog
Dogs are vicious, pack-hunting, crap-eating, quadrupeds whose most distinguishing characteristics are their distinct rotting garbage body odor and ability to bark at 150 decibels nonstop all night. Like wolves, they derive from the Canis genus but, unlike wolves, are illegal to poison, pet-dress, or have sex with. Despite being able to eat cats, young children, and pretty much anything smaller than them, dogs are considered the retards of the animal world, which is why they're often referred to as "man's best friend".
Working With Dogs
You can make some dough off this much beloved family pet.
- Veterinarian: A wonderful profession where you will have the chance to stick thermometers up dog's asses and be exposed to multiple diseases that can be passed from animals to humans. On the plus side, you get to charge a buttload of money by prescribing drugs meant for humans at twice the price to fucktard owners as well as be legally allowed to put dogs down.
- Groomer: A great alternative if you're too stupid to pass Med school for animals. You'll have a fun-filled day of being slashed bloody by newly cut nails, cleaning around Fido's ass and listening to the yapping of small purse dogs owned by prominent female celebrities. You won't get paid fuck all, but the fun part is making dogs looking even more fucking retarded than they already are.
- Trainer: Make shitloads of cash on people too fucking lazy to teach their own pet basic commands.
- Police: Train big fucking dogs to maul criminals.
- Breeder: Dogs need human help doing such natural things as fucking. Make Profit from purebreds and make even moar by mating two different types of dogs together to create a fun new hybrid with the worst traits of both parents. Because we all know there's not enough of these bastards on the streets.
Famous Dogs
- Cujo: What most dogs aspire to be
- Goofy: Retarded Disney character and advocate of child abuse
- 'Snoopy: Has herpes of the mouth, which sucks because he likes to lick little girls
- Brian: Snoopy copypaste
- Balto: Sled dog who proved dogs can do fucking anything, also a favorite movie of furries and wolfaboos
- Scooby-Doo: A retarded talking cartoon dog
- Lassie: Collie dog from from an old TV show
- Toto: Dorothy's companion in The Wizard of Oz
- Ren: Psychotic rat-dog
Gallery
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Never has a fiercer battle been witnessed
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Show that lettuce who's boss!
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The best way to defeat the dogs trying to stop Anonymous..
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Right after this one of course
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Dogs love lulz.
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Some dogs are stern and autocratic rulers.
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General DevianTart consensus of what a dog looks like
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Furries love dogs.
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The wholesome career of dog breeding.
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Boo and a Pedobear Plush.
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Some dogs are huge. Like Giant George!
Videos
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See Also
- Apathy Dog
- Advice Dog
- Big Dog
- Broccoli Dog
- Buy A Dog
- Chevy the Therapy Dog
- Chihuahuas
- Cupcake Dog
- Depression Dog
- Fap Dog
- Good Advice Dog
- Old Advice Dog
- On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog
- Pirate Dog
- Racist Dog
- Stoner Dog
