Dog
How many of you love Dogs? Your best friend, your protector, etc. GodJesus said in Mathew 7:15-16 to beware of a wolves in sheeps' clothing, do you know what he referred to? That's right, dogs! Dogs are wolves that were selectively bred since 100,000 BC by Satan (since people didn't exist till 6000BC) and then bred by humans since 6000BC to appear like little sheep. But inwardly dogs are ravenous wolves. Dogs love to:
- Scare people
- Attack people
- Smell like rotting garbage
- Eat young children
- Eat whatever is smaller than it
- Bark at 150 decibels like a broken record 24/7 nonstop
- Eat feces
- Eat their own vomit
And all the while because of their sheep disguise it's illegal to shoot them, poison them, do pet dressing, or even have sex with them.
Working With Dogs
You can make some dough off this much beloved family pet.
- Veterinarian: A wonderful profession where you will have the chance to stick thermometers up dog's asses and be exposed to multiple diseases that can be passed from animals to humans. On the plus side, you get to charge a buttload of money by prescribing drugs meant for humans at twice the price to fucktard owners as well as be legally allowed to put dogs down.
- Groomer: A great alternative if you're too stupid to pass Med school for animals. You'll have a fun-filled day of being slashed bloody by newly cut nails, cleaning around Fido's ass and listening to the yapping of small purse dogs owned by prominent female celebrities. You won't get paid fuck all, but the fun part is making dogs looking even more fucking retarded than they already are.
- Trainer: Make shitloads of cash on people too fucking lazy to teach their own pet basic commands.
- Police: Train big fucking dogs to maul criminals.
- Breeder: Dogs need human help doing such natural things as fucking. Make Profit from purebreds and make even moar by mating two different types of dogs together to create a fun new hybrid with the worst traits of both parents. Because we all know there's not enough of these bastards on the streets.
Famous Dogs
- Cujo: What most dogs aspire to be
- Goofy: Retarded Disney character and advocate of child abuse
- 'Snoopy: Has herpes of the mouth, which sucks because he likes to lick little girls
- Brian: Snoopy copypaste
- Balto: Sled dog who proved dogs can do fucking anything, also a favorite movie of furries and wolfaboos
- Scooby-Doo: A retarded talking cartoon dog
- Lassie: Collie dog from from an old TV show
- Toto: Dorothy's companion in The Wizard of Oz
- Ren: Psychotic rat-dog
Gallery
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Never has a fiercer battle been witnessed
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The best way to defeat the dogs trying to stop Anonymous..
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Right after this one of course
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General DevianTart consensus of what a dog looks like
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Dogs love lulz.
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Furries love dogs.
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Some dogs are stern and autocratic rulers.
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The wholesome career of dog breeding.
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Boo and a Pedobear Plush.
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Some dogs are huge. Like Giant George!
Videos
See Also
Examples of Dog Abuse:
- Bestiality
- Dalavesta
- Dracoguard
- Esachasa
- Furries
- Poeticirony
- Pumba Jeffery Larocque
- Puppy Pitcher
- WolfJLupus
