Angela Beesley Starling

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One of Angela's favorite hobbies is posing for Bomis.
Angela has been diagnosed with the deadly diabeetus and has only days to live.
If you can't take the heat, get back in the kitchen, woman.
A CG picture of Angela, created by Jimbo himself.

Angela Beesley Starling is a cybernetic computer program that possesses artificial intelligence, think like SHODAN from System Shock. It has female traits and characteristics, so it is commonly referred to as a "she." Two of her most notable and frightening aspects are her violently malevolent personality and harsh discordant speech. She roams the Interweb of wikis as Angela, developing grotesque cybernetic experiments on unsuspecting people stranded in virtual reality. She has no physical body, but, hardly hampered by this seeming handicap, she has almost all of the Internet in her evil clutches.

She is also the queen of Wikiland and is thus married to King Jimbo I, whom she affectionately calls Eloquence. No, but seriously, she's married to Tim Starling.

History

Angela's origins are shrouded in mystery. She is believed to have been an AI construct created by Jimbo himself, but this is pure speculation. It is known, however, that when Jimbo pronounced her as bride and Queen, she gained overwhelming power and influence. Over time she overpowered her erstwhile creator, and she twisted Jimbo into her puppet, bending his mind to her will. She used his additional brain to help found a greedy corporate tentacle of the Wikimedia octopus, named FANDOM (website). Tragically, her reign over the internet, cursed her with a Wikipedia article of her very own, which she hates and has tried to get deleted at least 3 times. Now doomed to a solitary existence, isolated by her power, Angela is tormented by the thought of vandals and trolls having their way with her article.

Too late horny guys, she got married

Angela Beesley's now got a husband, Eloquence (his pic). Angela is a sexy chyck and could sure do a lot better than Eloquence who looks just like GreenReaper (no offense to GreenReaper who is pretty hot with a fursuit on burn in hell furfag).

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via Angela Beesley Starling/Unicode

  • Note most of the letters are H, I, or V... Oops, should've spent less time partying with anonymous editors at Wikimania. What will Eloquence say?

Slow on the uptake

Less fappable, by design

Ms. Beesley Starling *finally* figured out that Wikia is not going to make her rich or famous or anything but cum-covered cougar and is leaving Wikia. On 8 February, 2012, Angela announced she was leaving Wikia to launch a startup called ChalkDrop.com.sauce

Gallery

Nudes

These pictures were uploaded, and have a high probability of being Angela.

Contact information

Angela Beesley Starling is part of a series on

Wikipedia

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