MSPaint Adventures
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Microsoft Shit Pint Adventures is some interactive flash or some bullshit thing like that, disguised as the atrocity that is a webcomic medium. Which as we all know, is the most fucking terrible kind of medium. It involves various stories involving furries, bullshit plots, underage kids in sexual relations, and some of the most horrible crap you will ever read. It's stories are suggested and made by the fanbase, who happen to be shitting-maggot homosexuals who are clearly sexually deprived when you consider how far they attempt to push their shitty self-insert fantasies in the format of shipping. For those of you that don't know, shipping it the action of taking a plastic ship and seeing how far up your ass you can shove it while fucking yourself to your sickening disease. And yet this still manages to be one of the best webcomics on the intarwebz. Way to set the bar real high, guys.
The Author, Andrass Husshit, is a aspie Jew who lives off of donations and the shitty products that he sells, such as the motherfucking hideous designs for T-shirts, the ear-ripping noises that pass off as music, and other convoluted methods.
What is this, I don't even?
Bard Quest and Jailbreak
In these two pieces of shit nobody cares about, an unnamed man attempts to escape from a prison cell. Neither of these stories were finished, and reflect Husshit's lazy ass work ethic. But if they were finished, they would reveal Husshit's sick collection of sick shit. The only reason he couldn't continue his sick shit further was because he realized he couldn't get more Jew without sucking the fans pork-lances any harder.
Thankfully, thanks to the efforts of Tim Buckley, "Choose Your Own Adventure" comics were made much, much worse. Not that he is original or anything.
Problem Sleuth
Problem Sleuth is the story of some detective dude and his two jerk-off buddies, Lord Deuce and Captain Pickle Insertion. It starts with them in their room jacking off to the scenery that exist, made rather evident by the bullshit backgrounds Husshit attempts to draw. Eventually they get out and other stupid shit happens. They go to a bunch of places that aren't notable to be mentioned and solve puzzles too obscure for your Webster dictionary to comprehend. Eventually they fight the Demon Orgy KingDick, because he's all up in their shit and waving his junk up in there. They get pissed, shit happens, and it all ends in shit nobody understands or cares for.
Overall, an incoherent storyline, unreadable art, and nothing you should ever even attempt read, lest you waste your time looking at horse dick.
Home Stuck
So many wrongs with this abomination that words almost fail to describe it. But since we don't speak Yiff like Andrass does, it seems we'll have to try.
Act 1
The Plot is an absolute fucking disaster. You start out hundreds of pages dicking around with John's boring ass shit. Then later stuff happens and then OMG somehow a meteor comes and now the world's gonna die and stuff. However nobody cares really because no one really fucking cares about anything. No seriously, when the Apocalypse is upon them, all of them act so little human that you'd think they are nothing more than shitty written plot devices, but surprise fuck face, they pretty much are. A bunch of Imps come to rape John, but he fends them off with Gushers and a Bunny. Wha?
Act 2
A bunch of shit happens, pretty much like the above. Yep.
Act 3
Same as above. Oh yeah, Dave, some shit as tough guy gets raped by a bunch of puppets I guess. But it's ok, because he enjoys it. Rump Rape is a customary practice for the Strider household.
Act 4
Pretty boring ass, but some more shit happens. John enters the MEdiUUM, which is code for a mangina. (no seriously, wat?) He enters it and proceeds to have sex with all of the locals. Later he gets killed by a blind-girl,which would have been funnier if it'd been shown, or if Dave Suckdick didn't revive him through his Time-shit fucking. And how he somehow obtained time travel is beyond the scope of our feeble minds. Really Hussass?
Later it's revealed that John is a fuck-clone of himself and his friends made with his genetic semen or some shit. But considering incest was pretty legal in MSPA in all, no need to elaborate on this.
Act 5
HiveBent? What HiveBent? I see no HiveBent. Let's keep it that way. Cripples and all left out.
The Rest
A bunch of other shit happens after that, but it's all mostly shit. The most recent development showed that the final boss to fuck in this game of over-sexed sex toys is a furry with a fetish for blood and shades. But no one gives a shit about that.
The characters cannot talk or interact in person because they are obviously retarded and quit. Everybody.
Characters
- John Gay ass kid who likes gushers and has a fetish for old woman, notably ones that lead to incest. Has no intersting personality and shouldn't be cared for.
- Dave A wannabee animu like his Bro, he has a thing for puppets and fake ass swords. Thinks he's a legit ninja, despite the fact that he gets ganked mercilessly by a cripple and killed once by some fodder nigra. He wanted to do himself, but due to a lack of puppet clothing he absorbed from doing so and threw the corpse away.
- Rose An emo know-it-all bitch who is ugly and you will want to punch. As recently upgraded from emo bitch to psycho witch, considering she'd happily watch a furry unleash genocide on a planet while masturbating to the screams of the eldergods.
- Jade Furry cosplayer, precognitive, and boring as hell. No one cares about this bitch, moving on.
- The Guardians Two shitty neglectful parents to busy fucking each other, a furry with the powers, and an animu nerd who thinks he's all awesome only to go get murdered by god-bitch with an inferiority complex.
- Jack Some asswipe in a legal department that fucked a queen with a bunny, took her jewelery, and went on to kill a bunch of shit that nobody cares about. This included Jade's subconscious manifestation, the Nigra queen, a bunch of peasants, time-traveling bird boy, and Kamina wannabe. Eventually becomes a furry like he always dreamed when Bic the penis-terrier prototyped. As if the dick and rape tentacles sticking out of him already weren't enough.
- The Trolls Who?
- Everybody Else Well that pretty much sums Homestucks diverse cast of characters. There are also the sand-nigras, but they'll die of crab-dick soon enough.
Shipping
HomeStuck likes and loves shipping. Hussass has admitted this himself. He's even invented 4 other types of sex practices to accommodate for shipping. They are as follows:
- Kismesis (♠): Where you find your worst enemy, shake hands, then proceeds to butt-fuck with a spade-shaped dildo.
- Moirail (♦): You ask your friend for his hand. Then you murder him with a dagger, and enjoy his corpse. Best done a rail way.
- Matesprit (♥): You have sex in bucket, then proceed to dump all the contents on all involving partners, drenching them, effectively acting as lube. Fuck and repeat. Spit on each other occasional if the fluids aren't sufficient.
- Auspistice(♣): A three way where you get two fuck buddies and then have a third ugly autistic chick come and start up a three-way, with the third checking on your progress to make sure you all come at the same time. Except for her, the ugly fuck doesn't get that right. You should probably kill her once the two of you are done.
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Bro be hardcore..
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Puppet Rape, Dave's favorite
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But where's the damn wheelChair? It gets more kinky that way...
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Lolz, shes blind people
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Hussie Approved
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She proceeds to bite his head off after intercourse
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