Robert Card: Difference between revisions
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{{spoiler| | {{spoiler| Robbie voted For [[Obama]] and supported Hamas!}} | ||
{{an hero}} | {{an hero}} | ||
{{aspie}} | {{aspie}} | ||
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{{ib|[[File:RobertCard.png|250px]]}} | {{ib|[[File:RobertCard.png|250px]]}} | ||
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Robert Russell Card II'''</big>}} | {{Ibhead|<big>'''Robert Russell Card II'''</big>}} | ||
{{Ibrow|''' | {{Ibrow|'''Born'''|April 4, 1983}} | ||
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality'''|[[ | {{Ibrow|'''Died'''|October 25, 2023 (aged 40)}} | ||
{{Ibrow|'''[[High score|Highscore]]'''|18 | {{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]] [[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}} | ||
{{Ibrow|'''[[High score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 18, injured 13}} | |||
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|{{highscorelist}}}} | {{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|{{highscorelist}}}} | ||
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|Single | {{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS, Single player}} | ||
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Yes}} | |||
{{Ibrow|'''Motive'''|[[Schizophrenia]]}} | {{Ibrow|'''Motive'''|[[Schizophrenia]]}} | ||
{{Ibend}}<!-- | {{Ibend}}<!-- | ||
--> | --> | ||
[[2023]]. Just days after a [[FAIL|shitty terrorist attack]] in [[Belgium]], <span class="blink" style="color:#f00;font-weight:bold;">A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS!</span> '''Robert Card''', another | [[2023]]. Just days after a [[FAIL|shitty terrorist attack]] in [[Belgium]], <span class="blink" style="color:#f00;font-weight:bold;">A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS!</span> On October 25, 2023, '''Robert Russell Card II''', another [[Marc Lépine|batshit insane schizo]], became the best [[high score]]r of the year by pwning 18 noobs at a bowling alley and a betting bar. He also wounded 13 others before [[An hero|pwning himself]] near the local river. | ||
==Background== | ==Background== | ||
Robbie, lived with his fathers in Bowdoin, in Maine. <s>He was a sergeant [[Epic win|first class]] in the</s> MOAR [[Fake news|FAKE NEWS]], Card was a member of the reserves, enlisted in December [[2002]] but had no active deployments in United States Army Reserve. Robbie studied at several schools and also studied at the university as engineering career but [[Epic Fail|didn't complete his career]]. He was a gun instructor at a shooting range before his lulzfest. In July 2023, it was reported that his behavior was strange and that he [[Schizo|heard voices]] telling him to become [[an hero]] after shooting up the nearby Saco base [[IDIFTL|for the lulz]], and he was interned for not hiding his hero plans. According to NBC News, Robbie's schizophrenia began after he lost his deafness by purchasing hearing aids. He, like 89% of mass shooter Americans, was humiliated for his schizophrenia at work. 2 weeks after his imprisioning in the asylum, he came out and began planning his massacre. | Robbie, lived with his fathers in Bowdoin, in Maine. <s>He was a sergeant [[Epic win|first class]] in the</s> MOAR [[Fake news|FAKE NEWS]], Card was a member of the reserves, enlisted in December [[2002]] but had no active deployments in United States Army Reserve. Robbie studied at several schools and also studied at the university as engineering career but [[Epic Fail|didn't complete his career]]. He was a gun instructor at a shooting range before his lulzfest. In July 2023, it was reported that his behavior was strange and that he [[Schizo|heard voices]] telling him to become [[an hero]] after shooting up the nearby Saco base [[IDIFTL|for the lulz]], and he was interned for not hiding his hero plans. According to NBC News, Robbie's schizophrenia began after he lost his deafness by purchasing hearing aids. He, like 89% of mass shooter Americans, was humiliated for his schizophrenia at work. 2 weeks after his imprisioning in the asylum, he came out and began planning his massacre. | ||
==The massacre== | ==The massacre== | ||
Robert lost his only [[golden iPod]] that same day and began his search. Equiped with his trusty rifle and some holsters on his legs, he began his gameplay. His first spot was at the "Just-In-Time Recreation" bowling alley, at 7PM where he began to kill the NPCs that were there, and killed 7. His second spot was at the betting bar "Schemengees Bar & Grille" where he also used his [[banhammer]] and pwned 8 (4 of the sacrificed NPCs were deaf). At the end of his lulzfest, he headed into the fucking forest and got lost. It is not known where he headed, probably in the nearby town of Lisbon, but what it is most | [[File:Just-In-Time Recreation.jpg|thumb|left|Just-In-Time Recreation, the bowling alley]] | ||
Robert lost his only [[golden iPod]] that same day and began his search. Equiped with his trusty rifle and some holsters on his legs, he began his gameplay. His first spot was at the "Just-In-Time Recreation" bowling alley, at 7PM where he began to kill the NPCs that were there, and killed 7. His second spot was at the betting bar "Schemengees Bar & Grille" where he also used his [[banhammer]] and pwned 8 (4 of the sacrificed NPCs were deaf). At the end of his lulzfest, he headed into the fucking forest and got lost. It is not known where he headed, probably in the nearby town of Lisbon, but what it is most important is when he an heroed on a nearby dock on the river. His body was found days later since the lazy pigs were on other [[Fentanyl|issues]]. The rest of the kills died in the hospital. | |||
[[File:Schemengees bar & grille.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Schemengees bar & grille, the betting bar]] | |||
==Loadout== | ==Loadout== | ||
{|class="wikitable" width="40%" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border: none;" | {|class="wikitable" width="40%" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border: none;" | ||
| Line 27: | Line 31: | ||
!Accessories/Bonus | !Accessories/Bonus | ||
|- | |- | ||
|'''Primary''': | | | ||
Ruger SFAR .308 semi-automatic rifle | *'''Primary''': Ruger SFAR .308 semi-automatic rifle | ||
<center>[[File: | <center>[[File:GTA4IconsM4ACOG.png|140px]]</center> | ||
|One of the favourite gun of the mass shooters. '''25~30 Damage.''' | | | ||
*One of the favourite gun of the mass shooters. '''Does 25~30 Damage.''' | |||
|- | |- | ||
|'''Perk 1''': Schizo | | | ||
*'''Perk 1''': Schizo | |||
<center>[[File:Schizophrenic.jpg|90px]]</center> | <center>[[File:Schizophrenic.jpg|90px]]</center> | ||
|Batshit insanity that Robbie got after he | | | ||
'''X2 Moving Speed<br>X2 Shooting speed<br>+10 damage to everyone (even himself)''' | *Batshit insanity that Robbie got after he bought his ear aids | ||
'''Does X2 Moving Speed<br>X2 Shooting speed<br>+10 damage to everyone (even himself)''' | |||
|- | |||
| | |||
*'''Perk 2''': Autism | |||
<center>[[File:AssburgerCooper.jpg|50px]]</center> | |||
| | |||
*'''Does X2 Moving Speed<br>X2 Shooting speed<br>''' | |||
|} | |} | ||
==Aftermath== | ==Aftermath== | ||
After the Massacre, many fags in Maine pussied out of going to school and work. [[Pools closed|Classes closed]] for several days and the children were happy and scared at the same time. Shortly after the massacre, many people went to various gun stores to buy pistols and shotguns to kill Robbie. The shelter-in-place warning was extended to Bowdoin (his hometown) on October 26. Eventually police found him dead and everyone forgot about the whole thing except us [[EDiots]] who proceeded to make a shitty article on Robbie and [[libtards]] who continued bitching about gun control. | After the Massacre, many fags in Maine pussied out of going to school and work. [[Pools closed|Classes closed]] for several days and the children were happy and scared at the same time. Shortly after the massacre, many people went to various gun stores to buy pistols and shotguns to kill Robbie. The shelter-in-place warning was extended to Bowdoin (his hometown) on October 26. Eventually police found him dead and everyone forgot about the whole thing except us [[EDiots]] who proceeded to make a shitty article on Robbie and [[libtards]] who continued bitching about gun control. | ||
{{quote|Once again, an American community and American families have been devastated by gun violence. In all, at least eighteen souls brutally slain, more injured, some critically, and scores of family and friends praying and experiencing trauma no one ever wants to imagine.|[[Joe Biden|Old Joe]], [[Waaaambulance|as usually]]}} | |||
==Graded Score== | ==Graded Score== | ||
{{GradedScore|18|Outscored fellow autist [[Nikolas Cruz]] |14| |15|Schizo somehow managed to escape twice|17|[[Tamerlan Tsarnaev|Led a manhunt but eventually got pwned]]|20|For being on the highscores and being lost about 3 days |84|A-|[[File:Friedrich_Leibacher.jpg|70px]] <br> Schizo Fried is proud of you!}} | {{GradedScore|18|Outscored fellow autist [[Nikolas Cruz]] |14|Still not enough for skilled Army marksman|15|Schizo somehow managed to escape twice|17|[[Tamerlan Tsarnaev|Led a manhunt but eventually got pwned]]|20|For being on the highscores and being lost about 3 days |84|A-|[[File:Friedrich_Leibacher.jpg|70px]] <br> Schizo Fried is proud of you!}} | ||
{{Wanted|4}} | {{Wanted|4}} | ||
[[File:NikolasCrybaby.jpg|thumb|center|You beat [[Nikolas Cruz|Nik's]] high score, Well done!!!]] | |||
==[[Fake News|Disinformation]]== | ==[[Fake News|Disinformation]]== | ||
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==Gallery== | ==Gallery== | ||
{{cg|'''Gallery of the [[Winnar]]'''|fcgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5"> | {{cg|'''Gallery of the [[Winnar]]'''|fcgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5"> | ||
File: | File:RobertCardGameplay03.jpg|Gameplay Footage | ||
File:RobertCardgameplay.jpg | File:RobertCardgameplay.jpg | ||
File:RobertCardgameplay02.jpg | File:RobertCardgameplay02.jpg | ||
File: | File:RoberCardGameplay03.png|>:( | ||
File: | File:RobertCar.jpg|His car, abandoned | ||
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5"> | </gallery>|<gallery perrow="5"> | ||
File:RobertCardSketch.jpg|Police sketch | File:RobertCardSketch.jpg|Police sketch | ||
File: | File:RobertCardfish.jpeg|Fishin' | ||
File:RobertCardFish01.jpg|Another one | File:RobertCardFish01.jpg|Another one | ||
File:RobertCardBald.jpg|Now Bald | |||
File:Robbie Card.jpeg|His bathroom was just as clean as his mental health | |||
File:BoobCard.jpg|Young Boob Card | |||
File:FindingRobbie.jpg|Pixar's new movie | |||
File:RobertMeme.jpg | |||
File:RobertMeme1.jpg | |||
File:RobertMeme2.jpg | |||
</gallery>|}} | </gallery>|}} | ||
==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
* | * David Kozák - 2023 school shootin' champion. | ||
* [[Nikolas Cruz]] | * [[Nikolas Cruz]] | ||
* [[Friedrich Leibacher]] | * [[Friedrich Leibacher]] - [[Swiss]] schizo who was thrown out of the Top 50 after Card's rampage. | ||
* [[Tobias Rathjen]] - another schizo fucktard who went postal. | |||
{{High Scores}} | {{High Scores}} | ||
{{Anheroes}} | {{Anheroes}} | ||
{{Psychopaths}} | {{Psychopaths}} | ||
[[Category:2023]] | [[Category:2023]] | ||