Amber Baird

Sick Fuck

An 18 year old psychopath Crackyfag from Wilmington, North Carolina has recently been discovered flaunting images of a skinned cat online. The disturbing images feature the heavily pierced, butch male Amber Baird holding the burnt and defiled carcass of the small cat, while wearing medical gloves. The most sickening of the collection being a photograph of his gripping the head of the animal, whilst holding it close to his tongue, mocking the cats rigour mortis. The images were originally posted on her personal Failbook profile, where an uproar from her friends and followers soon ensued. Only hours later the images had been leaked online and were being protested against on various websites, including Tumblr and the infamous forum 4Chan, where an even bigger uproar occurred, because we all know how 4Chan feels about their cats.

It is unclear as to why Amber did such a cruel thing, or why she was evidently so proud of her actions, but the images were soon removed from her profile as the news spread about her antics. Amber's 21 year old sister, the unfortunately named Krystal Lynn, argued that her dyke sister had found the cat already dead, and had just decided to boil and deface it's corpse, as you do. This theory, however, remains a theory until proven otherwise.

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Idiot Doesn't Know How To E-Mail

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And The Hunt Was On

Sensing blood in the water, several valiant warriors from a highly respectable 4Chan board decided to try tear dear Amber's life apart. After throughout entering her name in the Facebook search engine, then having a go on Google, the valiant warriors soon discovered Amber's Failbook page, her YouTube account (home to a lovely video of her sniffing paint or something), and her Yahoo! idiom. These knights then proceeded to send her mean e-mails, create a nasty Facebook group, and dig out some worthless information, feeling satisfied with a job well done. It wasn't until Last Thursday that someone pointed out how these valiant warriors weren't doing anything that people began to try. The brilliant plan hatched was to innundate Amber with pizza (I kid you not). After 100 or so people had ordered over 9000 pizzas, all from the same Pizza Hut, and all to the same wrong address (a 26 year old woman who just happened to share Ambers name), some bright spark realised the mistake. Claiming it didn't matter, better digging was done, and they finally got something right. It is now known that you can reach Krystal Lynn (Amber's sister) on 910-777-4390 (go on, give her a call, she's a bit shy, so you'll have to be persistent) and that Amber's parents live in Wilmington too, at 1619 Gander Drive, NC 28411 (you should order them a pizza or something, everyone's doing it). Krystal, Amber's mouthpiece, claims neither of the sisters live at that address any more, but that doesn't matter. Do it anyway. As for Amber herself, it is currant theory that she's living with her boyfriend, although do to the tragic loss of Droidfag, no address can be confirmed.

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She'd look good dead

Amber is known to have attended Isaac Bear Early College High School, she is also known to have a criminal record, having done 3 months for several counts of Misdemeanor Breaking and entering and Larceny.

Droidfag

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Our God

During the hunt for the lovely Amber Baird, a hero was born. It is hinted that Droidfag went to school with Amber, that he uploaded her yearbook, and as he was in the aria, he said he would check out addresses. Now people didn't hold much to Droidfag's words, thinking he wouldn't deliver. But Droidfag did. He began uploading photo's of Amber's parents house, checking out an address she was alleged to live in (it turned out a lovely African-American family lived there) he closed in on the final target. However, just as he had arrived at Amber's alleged house (and announced "dubs" would decide what he would do) the thread 404 Error'ed. Our Glorious OP created another, and many bumps were posted, calling for Droidfag, but Droidfag had fallen. Most likely skinned by Amber Baird, Droidfag died a heroic footsoldier, a valiant defender of the cats. An anon who delivered.

Droidfag was a God AMONGST /B/, and we shall NEVER FORGET him!

External Links

• Her Facebook
• Her Record
• Video of her being mutilated
• Pre-cat killing thread about her at CrackyHouse

Amber Baird is part of a series on Internet Cats

A Cat Is Fine Too • Almost-Chan • Arguecat • Arrow Cats • Basement Cat • Berry And Friends • Bikecat • Bincat • Binkers • Bonsai Kitten • Bukkake Milk • Burger • Business Cat • Cat in Microwave • Cat on a keyboard in space • Catnarok • Caturday • Ceiling Cat • Chase 'No Face' • Colonel Meow • Covercat • Dangerous Kitten • Death Cat • Dodge Cat • Drillcat • Emo cat • Fishing Cat • FLOATERCAT • Frinkle • Garfield • Grumpy Cat • Happycat • Hipster Kitty • If it fits I sits • Inception Cat • Jarcat • Jewcat • JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR! • Keyboard Cat • Kitler • Lasercat • Lenincat • Lil Bub • Limecat • Lioncash Longcat • Maru • Monorail Cat • Mutant Cats • Nyan Cat • Octocat • Orvillecopter • Peter • Poko Ono • Pusheen • Scuba • Secret Kitty Club • Serious Cat • Shironeko • Shocked and Appalled Cat • Shortcat • Shotacat • Silencer Cat • Spaghetti Cat • Speedycat • Stalking Cat • Standing Cat • Starecat • Stalking Cat • Stubbs the mayorcat • Tacgnol • That Fucking Cat • Trollcats • Tubcat • Tulip • Weathercat • Wisdom Cat • YOUR CAT • Zippocat