BitTorrent

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This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT I'M STUCK AT 99% PLZ SEED!!!1

BitTorrent is a P2P porn-centric file sharing protocol used by basement dwelling virgins to download massive amounts of furfuckery and yiffporn, which is usually called torrenting. It is probably the most common protocol for transferring the insanely large folders of yaoi back and forth over the internet. Other common files that are transferred over the BitTorrent protocol include hentai, tentacle rape porn, amputee porn, pedoporn, dutch porn, snuff porn, and some movies. It is estimated that over 35% of the internet’s traffic is found on the BitTorrent protocol. Because sharing is enforced, it will rape your bandwidth-capped USA-tier internet connection so good your ISP will probably cock block you: this is expected and necessary for the evolution of each torrent, so just use a damn Proxy. The better quality the torrent, the better it is seeded. If you pick a 2kB/s torrent with 3 seeds and 67 leeches, you're doing it wrong.

History

BitTorrent was created in 2001 by programmer Bram Cohen who kept this magic under wraps for two months. Finally, after realizing that he would need more people using the protocol so that he could download his warez, movies, loli, and illegally shared music files faster, he uncorked this genie from its bottle and the internet has not been the same since.

How BitTorrent Works

The initial owner of a porn file will make what is called a torrent. He then uses this torrent to seed his perversity to other perverts around the world. Each pervert who downloads the initial seed also uploads the pornographic data at the same time, this leads to a very fast and efficient way to distribute your Japanese vomit porn to all of your friends. As each downloader completes the initial seed, they also begin seeding the files. This exponentially increases the downloading speed for the rest of the depraved old men who are looking for pictures or videos of your little sister dancing with a Sharpie in her ass in front of her webcam. The more seeds there are, the faster you get to beat off. Don't get demotivated after downloading an antivirus and realizing it has a virus after infecting your pc beacuse you couln't scan the antivirus setup because u didn't have an antvirus and u were already attempting to have one and u infected your pc because u didnt have an antivirus when ure looking for one.

What the fuck am I reading???

Anyway, when we work together, as long as there's just one extra guy seeding, it can't be shut down. That's the beauty of it.

BitTorrent Clients

There are approximately eleven-billion BitTorrent clients available. Here is a brief list of popular clients:

Client What can you get with it? Is it a proprietary FBI backdoor?
BitTorrent porn, movies, warez, mp3s Yes
ABC porn, movies, warez,mp3s No
Arctic Torrent porn, movies, warez,mp3s No. Do not use this for anything outside of LAN, it's old and doesn't work properly these days. Otherwise if you're using LAN then this is a great client, the source is available as well.
BitComet porn, movies, warez,mp3s Yes. Not recommended; it is known to not cooperate well with other clients.
BitLord porn, movies, warez,mp3s Yes
BitTornado porn, movies, warez,mp3s Yes
Deluge porn, movies, warez,mp3s No
Gnome BitTorrent porn, movies, warez,mp3s No
Limewire Limewire porn, movies, warez,mp3s Most definitely Yes
qBittorrent porn, movies, warez,mp3s No
rtorrent porn, movies, warez,mp3s No
Transmission porn, movies, warez,mp3s No
Tixati porn, movies, warez,mp3s No, works much like a more Windows inclined version of Transmission. Better than µTorrent in some instances despite no source being available.
µTorrent (Pronounced "muTorrent") porn, movies, warez,mp3s Just got acquired by BitTorrent Corporation and thanks to uDP favors µTorrent connections over others. Yes.
Vuze porn, movies, warez,mp3s It runs on Java. Java is proprietary. Yes.

How to properly create a torrent

  • If video content, edit in a title-credit at the beginning, something like "RiPpEd bY z3r0c00l" with some Nickelback playing over some CG fire in the background. Alternatively, place a high-contrast watermark in one of the corners or as a bar at the bottom all throughout the feature (bonus points if it's animated!).
  • If a DVD-R/ISO image, make sure it's PAL full-screen and that you don't mention that in the description. Also take out all the extras and commentary, since people only download DVD-R images because they want a 4GB mpeg with a menu.
  • Include a couple text and .nfo files that contain information on where to find you and your friends on IRC.
  • Winrar everything, split up into 99 files. Everyone will be on broadband but you're actually doing everyone a favor by shaving off those 2 megabytes. This will ensure that people have the same content on their hard drive twice so the original files can still be seeded. If you are scene, this is mandatory.
  • Password that fucker with no less than 30 characters and have a long list of things people have to do to get the password (most likely clicking your ads somewhere). Why should they get your shit for free?
  • Attach your hacker alias to the resulting torrent's filename, because ripping shit is only getting harder, and people need to know who rules the school (you do).

How to properly name content

  • Misspelling is important.
  • Don't Use Correct Case When Naming Titles. Notice that "when" here is capitalized. This is grammatically incorrect and is how it should be done.
  • Include apostrophes and other escaped characters such as exclamation marks and ampersands.
  • Music
    • The folder should be named after the album and not contain the artist's name or year.
    • Songs should not contain the track numbers at the beginning of the filename.
  • TV
    • Series folder names should be just the season name. Example: My Little Pony Season 2 should be named Season 2, not My.Little.Pony.S02.720p.HDTV.x264
    • News-related shows should be named according to the season and episode number, not the date.

Video Quality Designation

  • If shot with a camera from a seat in the theater, it is TS.
  • If shot from the projection booth with a high quality camera and later synced with a direct audio source then it is a DVDSCR.
  • If it is a rip from a DVD meant to go to the academy (watermarked, other video irregularities) then it is a DVDRIP.
  • If it was ripped from a commercial DVD or DRM for consumers then it has no designation and your description shouldn't include screenshots.

Opponents of BitTorrent

Anybody smart enough to get out of the http and ftp league will, with any luck, make BitTorrent his preferred way of attaining pr0n. Luckily, it doesn't take much brains, and due to frequent copyright crackdowns BitTorrent is a drama generator par excellence. If it gets shut down, the world would witness a drama explosion of such epic magnitude and proportion that Chernobyl would look like a urinal cake in comparison.

In most countries, it is highly illegal to distribute copyrighted material without the permission of the copyright holder. Because of the potential for people to try music albums or watch movies prior to purchasing them, copyright holders hate BitTorrent. Because of BitTorrent, users are now capable of sifting through the 99% crap that copyright holders dish out on the unsuspecting public, and actually enjoy what they watch or listen to.

Many opponents of the BitTorrent protocol like to use the argument that "You wouldn't download a car" as an example of why a person should not use a BitTorrent client to download illegal files. This argument is rather silly though, considering the fact that if you actually used the BitTorrent protocol to download a car, you could quite possibly end up dead or severely injured due to an automobile flying out of your router. Also, if it were possible, yes, yes you would. Because if making an exact replica of the car were possible, the owner wouldn't give a fuck if you duplicated it - as opposed to actually stealing it from their possession.

HTTP Competition

BitTorrent is slow, time-consuming and insecure even if you use a private tracker. On the other hand, HTTP, which was invented 7 years prior to BitTorrent, offers a higher speed download and upload via SSL Protocol (makes you immune, really). But it requires money. Money requires income. Income requires job. Job requires skill. Skill... We'll leave it at that.

Except that's wrong. When you go with a torrent, you are receiving packets from probably a hundred different people seeding the torrent. With HTTP, it's basically a torrent with exactly one seed.

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<Aaron> just remember. it's ok to steal hearts, why isn't it ok to steal photoshop?
        without hearts we die.

        Doesn't that seem more sacred?

Aaron... YOU ARE A PIRATE!!!


Even IRC has pirates: 

«10:32:05»           Aaron: !piracy
«10:32:06»           fayzeshyfft: YARRRRRRR, you're a pirate now Aaron ! http://www.demonoid.com/ 
                    (IT'S BACK BITCHES!!!) & http://thepiratebay.org/ & http://scrapetorrent.com/ 
                    & http://torrentreactor.net/ & http://torrentbox.com/ & http://www.fulldls.com/ 
                    & http://www.completorrent.com/ & http://torrents.to/ & http://www.btmon.com/ 
                    & http://btjunkie.org/ & http://isohunt.com/ & http://sumotorrent.com/

Trackers

A typical Private Tracker: a mashup of EGO and PARANOIA (eg Davveywolf of TheBox.bz)

Just what is a torrent tracker? A BitTorrent tracker is a main server which assists you in downloading all the music and Dirty Sanchez porn you could ever imagine. A tracker will serve your IP address to random people who want to fap to the same porn that you do. Be careful, Computer Science III can get ahold of your IP address. The owners of such Tracker servers feel it necessary to remind you that downloading copyright software, movies, music, and porn is an illegal offense, and that they do not actually have any of those files on the server.

If you use public trackers you will get put in jail where Bubba will give you extreme rape for your ghastly crimes against the welfare of multi-billionaire "artists" like Snoop Dogg.

A private tracker is a tracker that only snobs can use. They are generally restricted by passwords and the users are carefully watched to ensure that they are breaking the law just as much as everybody else is. Private trackers usually require an invite code to join which can only be obtained by from a Member of said private tracker site. Occasionally some private tracker sites might "open" up for a weekend or so where people can join without needing an invite code.

Last Thursday it was determined by the courts that it is illegal to profit from private tracker sites so instead private sites rely heavily on donations from its members to stay on teh interwebz. Donations are also one way of obtaining invite codes that you can give to random strangers you meet on the internet. You also can get upload credit added to your ratio, a small jew gold star next to your name which will grow your e-penis.

What Is BitTorrent To You?

BitTorrent is a lot of things to a lot of people. The protocol has opened up the internet to millions of users. It allows the average nerd to see things that were previously held unseeable at a faster rate than ever before. Here are some random thoughts on what the BitTorrent protocol means to the average user:

  • Hawley: bittorrent is my means to acquire vast amounts of contraband...and sex education films
  • wax: its a stage in the quest for perfection in the dissemination of information
  • MOARBALLS; great for linux, movies and Hackintosh.
  • einsidler: bittorrent is the thing that is holding back on my gay porn right now.
  • wax: DOES BITTORRENT VIOLATE THE LAWS OF NATURE?!
  • OldDirtyBtard: dan: bittorrent means i can steal from my former employers, the Jew who run the record companies. Since they didn't compensate me properly, and they rip off the alleged 'artists.' I think my piracy is just.
  • OldDirtyBtard: bittorent means i dont have to watch people trying to sell me stuff during a recession while i'm watching my fave shows
  • Valerie: to me bittorrent is a way to share files easily and quickly to many people at once without worrying about hosting fees or the RIAAfags too much.
  • cancerrr: dan, its that download thingy.
  • tfo: it means that I can skim the best music of the past forty years without paying for a fucking thing, and spend that cash on other things instead. GREED IS GOOD.
  • Monty: Bittorrent is downloading shit for teh lulz
  • R3allybored: It's free movies and shit.
  • h64: try before you buy

Gallery

"Torrents Day/Happy Torrents Day"

For those unfamiliar, "Happy Torrents Day" is a "celebration of torrenting" started by KickAssTorrents] user "Mr. Pink" on the original (now-seized) incarnation of KAT wayyyy back in 2011. Torrents Day arrives every March 30th, with tons of torrent uploaders and releasers uploading torrents to KAT and other torrent sites, and seeding the hell out of them. (If you don't seed ur torrents, you're literal scum and need to KILL IT WITH FIRE.) In addition - there is a soundtrack to each year's celebration put together by users of KAT on their forum.

Popular BitTorrent Sites(what you came here for)

Just as there are several BitTorrent clients to download your sick fetish porn, there are also several BitTorrent tracker sites to choose from. Here is a brief (and we mean really brief) list of active tracker sites.

PRO-TIP: Use a Proxy faggots!

See Also

BitTorrent is part of a series on

Portal:Softwarez

Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage.

BitTorrent
is part of a series on serious business
Serious Concepts

Freedom of speech • Identity theft • Irony • Internet Asshole • Internet celebrity • Internet Disease • Internet drama • Internet humanitarians • Internet Law • Internet lawsuit • E-lawyer • Internet stalking • Internet Tough Guy • Internet Vigilante Group • Operation Falcon Punch • SWATting • Vandalism • World Wide Web Consortium

People & Organizations

2cash • Alan Turing • Casey Serin • David Hockey • Dear Cis People • Doxbin • Fast Eddie • Grace Saunders • Hallcats Squadron • Jessi Slaughter • Mary Bell • Meek Mill • Kittens • Maja Schmidt • Missy • Niggest Crook Force • Psychopath • Vloggerheads • WEB SHERIFF

Featured article March 30, 2018
Preceded by
Wimmins 		BitTorrent Succeeded by
In the kitchen
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