Climategate
See main article at Global Warming
It's official. Climate change is a hoax. The icecaps aren't receding, Siberian permafrost isn't melting and Pacific islands are not sinking. Internet Vigilantes have proven what has always been a nagging suspicion in our minds: that scientists fake results. Now the only two decisions left for us to make is how to lynch the scientists at the Climatic Research Unit at the University of East Anglia, and if it's the Jews, the Freemasons or both who are using climate change to keep us down.
Stolen Emails
On November 17, 2009, after a Freedom of Information request regarding communication between scholars at UEA, some Turk hacked the computers at the Climate Research Unit and stole 13 years' worth of email and private data. What the emails show is that the scientists deliberately skewed or otherwise withheld data to strengthen their case for climate change profit. Naturally, as soon as the data was leaked, climate changed skeptics jumped around in glee and supporters of the science screamed that the information was being selectively quoted. At ED, we had 1000 monkeys pour over the data, and here are the best quotes, in the context of the email. A best-of list of the emails can be found here.
How to Skew Graphs
Fudging Data
Mysterious Constant
Science Demands We Lie
—For censorship, see China |
Ignoring Naysayers
Delete fucking everything
TOW's Reaction
The TOW article on the incident was semi-protected to stop the peanut gallery revealing the truth about climate change. The talk page is inundated with the usual bullshit Wikipedos argue about, such as minute word modalizations and whether or not the title should be "Climategate".
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Copenhagen's Response
Since the Copenhagen meetings were in the middle of an out-of-season snowstorm and pretty much a failure due to Climategate and the timely release of the fraudulent emails (not that politicians ever would've done something productive anyway),, anti-global warming people are declaring a small victory of sorts. The rest of the world is forced to pay for their own shit (if they want to do anything concerning climate change at all) because no binding agreements were made during the meetings, as always. The European Union threw a temper tantrum, took its bat and ball and went home, while other countries like China, Brazil, and India had to pay for their own beer...finally.
Al Gore and Photoshop
As if he could sense that his green empire was going to be attacked by an army of emails and reason, Al Gore rushed his new book to the publisher in an attempt to get it out on the book stands before everything crashed down around him. But rushing things can sometimes produce disastrous results. Like the leaked emails, his book uses faulty data that have now been tossed out as fraudulent by most level-headed people.
Still a naysayer? Read on...
Everybody knows that hurricanes are a sure sign of global warming...whoops, climate change. Warmer waters, caused by greenhouse gasses, make for more powerful and more frequent hurricane activity, so it would seem to be natural to include hurricane data into any report concerning the effect of CO2 on global warming. Former vice-president Al Gore, while writing his latest book "Our Choice; A Plan To Solve The Climate Crisis", thought that it would be a nifty idea if he could display hurricanes doing their villainy on the glossy cover once the book was published. But there was a problem! Since hurricane activity is at a thirty year low, the storms were just not cooperating with the satellite cameras. Action was called for!
What to do, what to do! Gore, or more accurately, Gore's publishers, shooped four hurricanes into an existing satellite photograph of the western hemisphere. There are many errors within the photograph, namely that there is no polar ice cap whatsoever, Florida has shrunk and there is a "mini-hurricane" drifting off of its east coast, and finally, there is a monster hurricane right off of the southern California coast. This obvious attempt at cashing in on the post-Katrina fear craze is plainly manufactured science; even the hurricane that lingers near the equator at Peru is spinning the wrong direction. Gore needs to fire his shoopers and get in touch with people who know a little about global weather patterns before he publishes his next book.
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OH YOU Mr Gore!
—Tim is sad because of Al Gore. |
More disinformation: SEVERAL MILLIONS OF DEGREES!
Al hasn't been as fired up about "Global Warming" since Climatgate broke loose.
Other Images
See Also
External Links
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