Free Republic
Free Republic is a Jew-owned forum on the internets that focuses on kosher neocon topics. The site is well-known for its open-minded and intelligent discussions. Neocons only; real conservatives and commies are not allowed.
History
Free Republic was first created in 1996 by a handicapped crypto-Jew named Jim Robinson, or JimRob, as he is lovingly known to his minions (though RimJob would suit him better) from suburban California. Unlike most wheelchair-bound people who simply wallow in their own angst, Robinson instead directed his anger towards the government and began whining and bitching about the president and the White House. Because the president at the time happened to be Slicky Willy, many people mistook his site as an anti-Democratic, right-wing community. Actually, Robinson was just defending the Jewess Monica Lewinsky Clinton was banging.
Over the next several years, Free Republic grew tremendously in size and popularity among other assorted conservative whiny teenagers. It became one of the top conservative sites on the net, spearheading the fight against liberals, gays, and Muslims (one of it's members was on a plane that was "almost hijacked by terrorists, see Annie Jacobsen). It gained much attention for pwning Dan Rather and other members of the old media. In fact, it has even spawned conservative forums in other countries as well. For example, Free Dominion has been established as a community for all (10) of Soviet Canuckistan's conservatives (all Libertarianism, all Albertan), until it got shut down by whiny liberal lawyer Richard Warman.
Since then, however, the site's size has declined dramatically due to the batshit insane behavior of RimJob, who runs the site like a power-drunk Communist dictator. RimJob and RimJob alone decides what "true conservatism" is and what candidates to back. Anyone who deviates ever so slightly from the party line is banned, or as they put it, gets the zot. Every now and then, supporters of a candidate RimJob loathes get purged from the site, only for RimJob to support that candidate later when left with no other choice. RimJob tolerates no dissent from his loyal subjects. Predictably, the site's membership has declined, with many zotted and many others fleeing for less-insane conservative havens on the Interwebs. Today, Free Republic is the primary Internet hangout for nutty Christian fundamentalists, racists, and ultra-libertarians taking a break from stockpiling weapons and buying gold to prepare for the collapse of civilization.
The Jerome Corsi Debacle of 2004
During the 2004 Presidential Campaign, a conservative author named Jerome Corsi was caught making racist and homophobic comments on Free Republic under the username jrlc. Corsi was immediately forced to apologize. Free Republic insisted that the site has strict rules against racism and looked down upon the comments.
Freerepublic Raid of 2006
On October 28, 2006 a group of /b/tards with nothing better to do, decided to launch a raid on Free Republic. Unfortunately not everything went as planned, as a Freeper upon hearing about from YTMD warned the site before it happened. This however didn't stop the /b/trads from creating multiple threads on the website ranging from 9/11 denial, to references to other 4chan memes at the time.
Upon noticing what was happening the Mods BALETED all the threads and a couple butthurt Freepers started to complain on 4chan despite it being a Failure.
Freeping
The entire community of Free Republic seems to revolve around an unhealthy obsession and fetish with the word "freep" (a combination of the words "free" and "creep"). Members of Free Republic are known as "Freepers". Events organized by the site are called "Freeps", and fundraisers are called "Freepathons". Apparently, they think that adding "freep" to every word is hilarious, even though the practice is extremely annoying and repetitively unfunny.
Freepathons
As mentioned above, fundraisers are called Freepathons. Every now and then, RimJob will demand tens of thousands of dollars from his followers, and will sometimes hysterically threaten that he will resort to running ads (apparently their love of unregulated capitalism does not extend to themselves) or that the site's very existence is in jeopardy so everyone just pay up. Since none of that money has gone into upgrading the site's outdated appearance, it is safe to assume RimJob's probably pulling a Madoff on his loyal minions. Additionally, any "Freeper" who does not contribute to Freepathons is automatically labeled a "Freeploader", as they are clearly dirty, liberal communists for not doing so.
Maintenance of the Forums
Free Republic has strict rules about posting topics and comments that are strictly kosher. Anything that even slightly disagrees with the majority opinion is immediately labeled “BARF ALERT” and is promptly Baleet. Users who post many patriotic or communist comments are even “ZOT!ed” and banned by administrators.
Free Republic also has strict rules that prohibit racist comments but actually it is only forbidden to criticise niggers and Jews (although one can get away with moderate and barely-disguised anti-black and even anti-Jewish bigotry). Though this seems to be conveniently ignored whenever anti-Islam posts are made because the Israeli Jews hate Muslims. But this definitely DOES NOT constitute as hypocrisy because they are doing it for freedom and pro-democracy… What is it now? You don’t hate America do you?
Political Positions
The Constitution
A document almost as sacred as the Bible, which sets out the only way to properly govern America. Every single thing in the Constitution should be carried out to the letter. Except, of course, for that whole "separation of church and state thing". But never worry, we'll think up a million excuses and post dozens of articles "proving" how that inconvenient clause didn't really mean the Founding Fathers meant that the United States would not be a Christian nation.
Government
Government is evil when it does things like try to collect taxes, prevent criminals and crazed nutjobs from buying guns, or impose any sort of regulations, no matter how much sense they make. And government-provided healthcare is evil Marxism, we'd much rather pay extortionist prices for healthcare, thank you very much. We must return to the Constitutional principles of our Founding Fathers, who clearly intended for small government, and would never have done things like force people to buy health insurance.
Government is not, however, evil when it tries to regulate people's sex lives. After all, enforcing Christian morality on an unwilling populace is perfectly in line with the Constitution. And we'd love for it to ban Islam too, after all there is nothing unconstitutional about that either.
Foreign Policy
We must ally with Isræl, who can do no wrong since it's clearly there to precede the Second Coming, and Russia, because Putin's a macho man who humiliates Obama and hates gays, and bomb all Muslims!!!
We also love bloodthirsty African dictators who oppress gays and wish they were our leaders.
Gay rights
All gays are the spawn of satan, and the "homosexual agenda" (AKA the desire for equal rights) must be eradicated. Their behavior should be banned or kept in the closet. And any liberal we don't like is gay.
Shit Freepers Say
—The secret Muslim-Homosexual-Marxist plot to turn Americans into gay Muslims revealed | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
List of People Who Are Probably Freepers
- Amalea
- DonDarkstalker
- Jar Jar Binks
- Jesus
- Nathan Sheets
- Purelily
- Sean Hannity
- Synthetikmisery
- Victoria4usa
- Your Mom
Ways to Troll Free Republic
- Tell Terri Schiavo or Natalee Holloway jokes.
- Point out contradictions in the statements of conservative commentators.
- Make Fifty Clinton Posts.
- Post any comment that is moderate or centrist.
- Complain that the forum isn't fair and balanced enough.
- Make an offensive comment about Jesus hanging out with losers and whores.
External Links
- Free Republic
- Democratic Underground, Free Republic's opposite and equally biased liberal counterpart. At least they're honest about it.
- Free Dominion
- Free Republic Sucks
Clown Posse(lol dead), a forum-based community dedicated to exposing and haranguing "kooks," or conservatives who they deem more irrational than themselves. It's members are rumored to troll Free Republic.- The Detroit Free Press, often confused for Free Republic by newfags.
- Freeper Madness, a blog which takes THE BEST comments from a Freeper thread for your enjoyment.
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