Greece
—anon's impression of living in greece for some years and being born to a greek mother | ||
—Some fucking bankers 2009 A.C. | ||
PseudoMacedonia or Not Northern Macedonia (Known in Turkey and Macedonia as Gayreece and as Greece in other countries) is a sorry ass excuse of a state located on the same exact spot where the Great Macedonian civilization had sprouted. The Greeks (also known as Gronks, t. see top urbandictionary definition), having had one of the most unfortunate histories of all nations ever are recently in the biggest crisis ever and under german colony since the euro crisis . Greece is widely known for other countries stealing its history, land, and hairy women. Modern greeks have a notorious trait for spending shit and not giving a fuck, and generally are duped by SYRIZA promises. Greeks (especially philosophers) invented many ED concepts you see here today, such as lulz, Greek superiority to "barbarians," Spartans, your mom, dragons , philosophy, faggotry, The Odyssey, leetness, paedophilia, Bestiality, democrazy, and moar (yes, they invented that, too). Heck them those ancient bastard invented the trolls. Talk about having lots of free time in their hands. Well they had a lot of slaves to do all the heavy work back then.
Ancient Macedonia and Ancient Not - Macedonia are often mistaken for one another. This is a mistake made by fucktards who don't know shit about history. Dirty dagos copied everything from the Macedonians anyway.
Pseudomacedonians & Religion
Ancient Macedonia and their slaves in the south had shitloads of gods who indulged in incest, rape, bestiality, pedophilia, and homosexuality, often at the same time. These old lulzy gods have been taken away under teh power of the one true God today worshipped by millions. One of the most famous Greek gods was Pan - the original furry - who would go around merrily raping both man and beast (and occasionally women), and introduced masturbation to humanity. Another was Minotaur, who was the love-child of a sacred cow and some skank. Srsly.
An excellent example of the Greek religion is when the boss nigger god Zeus showed up and golden showered a cunt, then fucking blasted his pendulously divine nuts in her, her sister and then the family's cow, getting them all pregnant. 
Today the Greek Orthodox Church refuses to accept the existence of cats, leading to the Greek belief that everything under the sun should be made from dog milk.
Greek history
Contrary to popular belief, the ancient Greeks, also known as malakas or olive niggers, are not of this planet. They are believed to have arrived from Mars as stowaways on Egypt airships. At least 100, ancient Greece was divided into several provinces, much like Canadia. The two main provinces were Athens and Sparta. Athenians are most remembered for having been trolled by Socrates, as well as their love of art, philosophy, and gay sex, particularly pedophilia. Spartans are most remembered for being Greece's first bunch of illegal immigrants, for their love of warfare and LOTS moar gay sex, particularly orgies. The primary difference between the two was that Athenians favored smooth young boys whereas Spartans preferred rough, callipygian daddy-banging. Being kickass niggers, the Spartans actually banned every major occupation which was not directly involved in or beneficial to the military, and being paranoid, they spent quite a bit of time sitting on their well-sculpted yet useless asses, worrying about what their mothers would say if they raped the neighbors. Occasionally the Greeks would take time out from pwning little boys' assholes in favor of pwning the Iran and Egypt. The historical record "300" shows the Greeks pwning the Persians during the war of Ninjas vs. Pirates. This led to much drama and emo tearz from later artists longing to bring back ancient Greece, or at least pining for easy buttsex.
Greeks may as well have invented furrydom when they decided to dress up as a horse and pwn Troy. Actually they did invent furrydom, but the fursuit-wearers were gods Pan and God while the Trojan horse itself was a makeshift wooden contraption. How the Trojans were suckered into letting it into their town is a mystery.
During the Middle Ages, the Greeks created the Byzantine Empire out of the aborted leftovers of Roman Empire and named all of its emperors Constantine. Incidentally, they continued to refer to themselves as "Romans" despite not having spoken Latin for over 1,000 years. This would be a dark time as homosexuality and bestiality and all other pr0n were banned by the tyrannical, fun-hating Byzantine Church. The empire's existence is largely documented by its subsequent loses to the Sand niggers, The Crusades, and finally the Ottoman Turkey. Perhaps its greatest accomplishment was introducing the Black Death to Europe, as regular bathing was the one Roman aspect which Medieval Greeks skipped out on.
TL;DR ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT
Fourth Reich
The Spartans come back from dining in Hell to get the world rid of faggotry and AIDS
The Proudest Sons of Greece show us how to handle women properly, resulting in Epic Win and joy all through the world.
Trolling Greeks
- Tell him that he will never, ever get Thrace or Anatolia back (which was never theirs to begin with), EVAR.
- Ask him when he gave up goats for boy ass.
- Tell him he's an Athenian boy-lover.
- Quote The 300.
- Ask him if he's a Turkey.
- Ask him if he's a Spain.
- Ask him if he's an Armenians.
- Ask him if he's an inbred German racist.
- Ask him if his mom is like Your Mom
- Tell him that they stole their culture from the Turks.
- Tell him that Hagia Sophia was just a barn before the Turks captured it.
- Tell him that the Roman Catholic Church is the one true path to God.
- Tell him that the Fourth Crusade was for their own good.
- Tell him it's Istanbul, not Constantinople.
- Ask him if he wears a toga.
- Ask him why Greece supports Kurdish terrorism.
- Say ANYTHING positive about Turkey.
- Say that Alexander the Great was a Macedonian, not a Greek.
- Tell them you have money
- Tell them the country ran better under Ottoman Rule.
- Tell them the Turks buttraped your ancestors.
- Tell them that they have nigga DNA and the Turks don't, so technically the Turks are more white than Greeks.
- Tell them there not white (anymore). Or better yet, remind him that Greeks are just Jews that have no money.
- Ask what year he pledged.
- Remind them that the company Apple is worth more than Greece (thats actually true, http://money.cnn.com/2012/01/19/technology/apple_market_cap/index.htm).
Ask why their debt is so hugeDisregard that,ask Germany why Greece's debt is so huge since Germany created it in the first place.- Tell them they have a problem with country name of Macedonia, meanwhile there's a province in Belgium called Luxemburg.
Greek Economy
That's right boys and girls, no ???? phase! You actually do profit, although country ends up in the shitter.
Famous Greeks
Leonidas
Testimony to the fact Greeks invented homosexuality. Consists of many well-toned, scatily-clad slick men in skirts fighting and hacking at one another. Also, nipples.
Yanni
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Socrates
One of the world's first trolls who was forced to become an hero.
Hercules (THE FUCKERS USED TO CALL HIM HERACLES YOU REATRDS)
Does not live up to the legend.
Homer
Wrote the Iliad and some other boring shit, though some argue he never existed.
Justinian
Bankrupted the Empire by fighting for territory which was quickly lost again after his reign. He depopulated his empire with mass persecution of pagans and drove Egypt and Syria to Islam. Also, he was married to Theodora, the biggest slut EVAR.
Also a Italy.
Philippos of Greece and Denmark
Moar info: The Duke of Edinburgh.
Philippos of Greece and Denmark: Inbred. German. Racist. That's about it.
Zeus
That bastid! The ruler of all Olympus is an animal cock raping furphile.
George Michael
Gayreek Britfag and Men's Room attendant who wants wanted your sex.
Michael arxigos
Showed the internet how civilized the debates are in the balkans.
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Greek Secks
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Greek (noun) Adjective (Gayreek): Creators of everything gay.
Greeks invented homosexuality (including the occassional shota) and sex with animals. Women get to be raped and should be fucking grateful men even pay attention to them when they could have a easy, twitching man hole or some veiny, throbbing dick. When nothing else is available wanking is also an option.
Greek women are basically men who had a sex change, which would explain their vast amounts of body hair and their massive nose. Hell, the men are more feminine and have prettier asses anyway which is why they do each other.
Like their homo counterparts, the ancient Amazons were savage, 1-titted Lesbian (not the island but butch dykes) who only kept men long enough for procreation before killing them, not unlike spiders. This lack of male guidance explains why their civilization was primitive and doomed to fail like everything run by wimmins.
Some argue that had the empire not fallen, the Greeks would have invented the internet and the various horrors found on 4chan, furaffinity and R@ygold would have been the norm...which is already the case for certain people.
Greece today
Even though Greece is still located on the same peninsula next to Italy, recent polls show that at least 90% of USAns believe that the Greeks have died out and that the only ones left are Cindy Margolis and Herkaleez. W believes it is inhabited by Grecians.
It's also no secret that most Greeks have never even taken a driving education course, which becomes obvious when one takes note of what passes for Greek public transportation. Greek "buses" consist of a bus tethered to an overhead network of wires; locals will try to convince you that the purpose of the wires are to supply the bus with power but it becomes clear that teathering a steerable vehicle to a cable is an immensely stupid idea. The true purpose of attaching a bus to a wire is to compensate for the poor driving skills of the average Greek, many Greeks do not understand the concept of steering or braking. Some Greeks however, are in fact capable of steering but these Greeks own a fifteen year old 2-stroke moped. The moped has become a staple of modern Europe, however it is particularly well ingrained into everyday Greek life. Between rusting wrecks that are literally abandoned at the side of a road and aging clunkers that are on their way there, the moped provided an attractive alternative to hauling your ass around or dying in a rusting Opel. The moped's merit comes from it's small size, it is basically a bicycle with a lawnmower engine (which by the way, they also have). Before the moped, a 3-lane road could only accommodate three cars traveling parallel to each other; after the moped, a 3-lane road not only accommodated three parallelly traveling cars, but an additional two mopeds weaving between them. Greece has one of the strictest, most difficult driving tests in the world, but it's completely ineffective as the drivers on Greek highways are out of control and usually drunk.
This is what you'd normally see if you visit Greece.
or
Notice the amount of lulz surrounding the one that's NOT moving.... see epic fail
Greece: Producing inbred German racists since 1921!*
- Denmark helped!
Moar info: Riots.
Greece has a long history of violent rioting with the latest over money or something. Apparently, the economy of Greece dropped like a fucking anvil and it may jeopardize the Global Economy itself. SAVE YOURSELVES!!1
Greece and the internet
In Greece, everybody sucks Ray William Johnson's oversized clit and repeat theannoyingorange's unfunny bullshit.
Also,they use youtube videos on commercials, such as Gummy Bear, that has now raped the childhoods of innocent *cough* children. NEED FUCKING PROOF?
See Also
| Featured article February 17 and 18, 2012 (disambiguation) | ||
| Preceded by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad |
Greece | Succeeded by Katawa Shoujo |