I have 2 girlfriends and a truck fuck you

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Our man, Kevin.

I have two girlfriends and a truck fuck you, is a forced meme that graced 4chan with it's presence on May, 2nd. 2010 on a thread simply named "I can kill you all faggots" on /b/. A lot like the So cash meme, some douche named Kevin types an open letter addressing /b/tards everywhere the following. This thread has gotten many /b/tards attention for rubbing it in their fat, oily, acne-riddled faces that they are nothing more than inferior, pathetic, basement dwelling trolls. It should be noted by the typed thread that Kevin appears to contradict himself many times in such a short passage by calling /b/tard's faggots while he also threatens to fuck them in the ass. It is obvious he has no muscles, and the photo shows that Kevin has completely mistaken his itty bitty, sagging man boobs for pecs, his arms are not built, and he bears a Mickey Mouse tattoo on his left arm. He is also a racist that wants to kill black people like any other typical white man. He is very ugly and, of course, has poor grammar. Now, the big question you're asking yourself: "Will some lulz be had? The answer lies within Kevin's contradicting speech. So come with us as we explore this phenomenom into the wonders of this strange troglodyte life form alpha male who wields a sharp instrument and has property to assert his dominance over the legions of lesser beings.

The Original

 
 
hello my name is kevin and i hate every single one of you pathetic faggots you all think this is so funny making fun of other people but you didnt think there were anyone who was real and will kill you, you are all losers look at my muscles and my knife i can kill you whenever i want you faggots dont fuck with me or ill fuck you in the ass you faggots(im not gay i mean ill kill you niggers) fucking virgins i have 2 girlfriends and a truck fuck you
 

 

—Kevin


Thoughtful Analysis

A force[d meme] to be reckoned with
What Casanova faps to when his bitches aren't around

Though this proud, young man claims to own two women and a truck, all three are conspicuously absent from his photo. Even if he is not being truthful, it would be no surprise that Kevin honestly aspires to obtain these things. In rural America, "traditional families" are touted, though promiscuity, infidelity, and non-traditional relationships are quite common. Likewise, owning a pickup truck is the pinnacle of one's life achievements, since they are now considered expensive, gas-guzzling, obnoxious status symbols (their functionality is irrelevant, and what better way to show you've got money to burn?). Brandishing a large piece of cutlery, likely without his parents' permission, Kevin reveals his deep insecurities due to inner struggles and the possibility that he's a frequent target of bullying. Judging by the picture, it seems that Kevin isn't using the knife as a threat but rather he is going to do something totally awesome.

You might have a girlfriend if...

Other Unfunny Variations:

Caution: Will show teeth
 
 
hello my name is Christian Weston Chandler and I hate every single one of you slanderous trolls you all think this is so funny making fun of me but y'all didnt think there were anyone who was real and will crush you, you are all losers look at my muscles and my medallion i can break you dead whenever i want you faggots dont fuck with me or ill have hankey pankey in the ass you faggots(im not gay i mean ill kill you niggos)]] fucking trolls i have 2 sweethearts and a transformers truck fuck you
 

 

Chris-chan is making himself clear

Someone call the wambulance! We have a severe case of butthurt!
 
 
hello my name is VampiricSpektor and i hate every single one of you trolls you all think this is so funny making fun of forehead lumps but you didnt think there were anyone who was real and will press charges on you, you are all losers look at my spells and my hacker friends i can cast a spell on you whenever i want you faggots dont fuck with me or ill fuck you in the ass you faggots(im gay i mean ill sue you niggers) fucking EDiots i have 2 teeth and am a psychic fuck you
 

 

—Vampiricspektor


 
 
hello my nome os kevon and i hote every songle one of you pothetoc foggots you oll thonk thos os so funny mokong fun of other people but you dodnt thonk there were onyone who wos reol and woll koll you, you ore oll losers look ot my moscles and my knofe i con koll you whenever i wont you foggots dont fock woth me or ill fock you on the oss you foggots(im not goy i mean ill koll you noggers)]] focking vorgons i have 2 gorlfronds and o trock fock you
 

 

—Kevon

Mr.Hands doesn't appreciate you making fun of him
 
 
hello my name is Mr. Hands and i hate every single one of you pathetic faggots you all think this is so funny making fun of other furries but you didnt think there were anyone who was real and will fuck you, you are all losers look at my muscles and my horse i can film you whenever i want you faggots dont fuck with me or my horse will fuck you in the ass you faggots(im not gay i mean ill let fuck me you niggers) fucking virgins i have 2 guys and one horse fuck you
 

 

Mr. Hands

Tom Green isn't going to take anymore of 4chan's shit
 
 
hello my name is Tom Green and i hate every single one of you pathetic 4chan kids you all think this is so funny making fun of me on my show but you didnt think there were anyone who was real and will annoy you, you are all losers look at my web show and my desk i can get your HTML adress whenever i want you faggots dont fuck with me or ill fuck you in the ass you faggots(im not gay i mean ill destroy you 4chanians)]] fucking virgins i have only 2 good review and one testicle fuck you
 

 

Tom Green

See also

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