Stoned

Contrary to popular belief, stoners have a place in society, and that place is the trashcan.

"Shit. Mine isn't half that big."

Stoned again.

To be stoned is to smoke or eat weed, and then mong out. In the Christian sense, it is to literally throw large rocks at faggots and Jews so they can repent and go to heaven. There is often OL debate about whether the Jewnited States of Americunts should legalize marijuana use and, if so, what kind of use should be legal. Arguments are sometimes cut short when pro-legalization advocates nod off in the middle of making a point.

Since marijuana has been a popular recreational drug since the dawn of time, there are many slang terms for it: chronic, maryjane, dope, weed, and flush-that-the-feds-are-at-the-door.

Superpowers

Marijuana grants its users extraordinary abilities, which is part of its attraction. While stoned, users can:

• Watch cartoons all weekend without once moving from the sofa
• Resolve any mystery of philosophy while giggling
• Eat more Twinkies and Doritos than was thought humanly possible

Stoners Spotted OL

• Tokeup.com
  • "I dunno about you guys, but I cant retain information when im high. Doesnt matter how many times i read it, or go through it, it doesnt 'stick'. This tends to be a very troublesome issue when I am high 8+ out of the 16 hours spent awake each day."
• 420 Marijuana.com
  • "Sometimes I have these moments of clarity, where all of a sudden I sit up and say 'Wow.. I'm stoned'"
• FNK Board -- The Chronical
  • "So it was scrolling right... scrolling... wow i'm stoned, scrolling and scrolling and at one point in time i actually thought i was falling of a building because the posts were like the buildings floor flying up... i hope you guys understanding me right now... cuz its hard as fuck to explain. when you're scrolling down, all the posts are going up really fast on the screen, so it lookes like i'm falling off a building and looking at the building in one spot so it looks like the posts are the floors that are flying past my face as i'm falling down... for those not understanding what i'm talking about, i don't blame you..."
• 420chan
  • "I dreamt that a man pushed me in school while I was walking to the nextdoor campus.

I pushed him on the floor and wrapped my hands around his neck, and started choking him. He realized he couldn't win so he stared at me, tears streaming down his face, trying to say something but it was just choked breaths. I started crying too at this point, staring right back at him, while I slowly choked the life out of him.

I think school is stressing me out."

Using Stoned In A Flame Wars

What indeed?

• Regarding Your Web Site
  • "What in the name of ASCII are you writing about? Are you stoned?"
• Planet Dan
  • "Are you stoned? You're right there on my MySpace front page, dummy. and I think I've actually spoken the word Emo twice in my whole life, and you just happened to be there both times. Just because I had to explain to you what it was doesn't mean you need to get all snippy."
• Quentin Tarantino Sucks
  • "What have you been smoking, asshat?"

How To Keep A Stoner Occupied

• Cyborg Fish

See Also

• Party Van
• Liberal
• Hipcrime
• 420chan