The LiveJournal War
The Livejournal War was a war where the stakes were the internets... AND EVERYTHING IN IT.
The Origins
It started out as a cold war between trolls and moderators, where hit and run tactics were countered by instabans, disabling anonymous posting and friends only entries. A final full scale war didn't break out until impotent Assburgers syndrome-suffering dwarf troll evilneps said a mean thing about lj_wedrinkbitter, the 30 or 40-year-old moderator of fuckyoucrew, a livejournal music rating community where people throw as many names of obscure shitty bands at each other for a mysterious and undisclosed reason.
Declaration of War
It had started innocently enough, when evilneps linked to a picture from wedrinkbitter's livejournal. Wedrinkbitter followed by changing the hotlinked picture to a picture of his dog and then taking an internet screen shot picture of evilneps' journal, to show that business was now officially serious. To avoid evilneps mentioning anything about this in front of wedrinkbitter's internet friends, bans were put in place and anonymous posting was disabled and screened (somehow both at the same time!). This proved to be a most catastrophic blunder.
As if trying to instigate terrible flame wars with flaming and insults, evilneps made fun of wedrinkbitter's comment filtering. This was the last straw for wedrinkbitter, who kicked things into full FLAME MODE, where marshmallows were brought out to roast over the fires fueled by pure drama. Burning children were extinguished by being smothered by the corpses of their dead families, and people were even called fucktards.
Comment Bombing Campaign
In what was thought to be the final attack of the war, wedrinkritalin unleashed the comment bombs, commenting up to a dozen times to a single post. To his dismay, this backfired on him and his prestigious LiveJournal moderator status, as people simply made fun of him for "being obsessed".
By this point, he resembled the guy from Scanners whose eyeballs shot out as he screamed and veins stuck out from his arms and head. Legend has it that wedrinkbitter was posting just by the sheer will of his screaming directed towards his computer and keyboard, and the force of his screams pressed the keys alone to type out comment after comment after comment, usually in reply to the a single anonymous comment elsewhere.
Gigantic weblike threads spewed out onto all the recent posts of evilnepses's journal, who had little reaction besides satisfaction, due to him being an impotent pindick troll.
Wedrinkbitter attempted to recruit internet soldiers from his own journal to invade the journal of evilneps, only his brother and some anonymous person came. The wedrinkbitter brothers were obviously no match for the skill and expertise of The "Evil Nep" Cable Bruddas.
The End?
In the end, wedrinkbitter had no option but to declare himself above it all and quit. According to the internet law, this is equal to surrendering.
A day later, wedrinkbitter was still leaving dozens of comments on the journal, but they didn't count because he said he was done. His final thrashes played out as comment after comment directed towards him pummeled his aged body, his mouth spitting blood even outside of The The Matrix, because his mind MADE IT REAL. O_O
At the really serious for real end (this time) ending, he weakly reached towards the sky, where his keyboard was, to attempt to continue commenting to mean trolls over the internet.
At that moment, a steamroller fell onto wedrinkbitter's body, and atop it rode the maintainer of the livejournal user journal "evilneps," evilneps, smoke billowing from his cloven hoof clad fursuit, screaming "WHEN I WASSSS!!!!"
The Aftermath
In the burning hellfuck aftermath of this devastating war, the sun began to show through the clouds, and suddenly a little flower grew among the wreckage, as the concept of music itself became totally worthless. It was decided there on that music was for music fags.
Livejournal rating community moderators didn't have the same swagger and bravado they once had, and in fact were rendered completely worthless, or at least more worthless than usual. The trolls gave birth to a new internet where there were no moderators. But at what cost?
This cost: the new internet blew up because of trolling trolls all trolling each other (with flames). Then everything went back to normal. Which wasn't much of a change, because this great Livejournal War was so insignificant and obscure that no one really noticed, let alone knew it was going on. The end!