Trolldin

Trolldin is considered the chief god in Troll mythology and lol paganism.

His name is related to "trol" meaning "excitation", "fury", or "trollry", and his role, like many of the Troll pantheon of the Æsir, is complex: he is god of e-wisdom, internet war, battle, and e-death.

Characteristics

Trolldin is an ambivalent deity. Connotations of Trolldin lie with "trollery, inspiration" as well as with "fury, madness". Trolldin left one of his eyes in the purifying waters of the piss ocean of the legendary "old /b/" in order to gain the wisdom of the internets. Trolldin gives to worthy trolls the mead of trollspiration from the vessel Trollomir. Trolldin is also know for public fapping and dancing late night in dance clubs wearing no panties. It likes to make at least 100 pictures of it with its penis in peanut butter

Consistent with this, Snorri Sturluson's Prose Edda depicts Trolldin as welcoming the great dead warriors who have been IRL Powerworded in battle into his hall, Lawlzhalla, which when literally interpreted, signifies the 'Hall of the Named'. These fallen, the Powerworded, are assembled and entertained by Trolldin in order that they in return might fight for and support the gods in the final battle of the end of the world, Ragnaröfl.

Trolldin is associated with the concept of the Wild Pwnt, a noisy, bellowing movement across the internet, leading a Host of the Named.

He is also the God of Internet War, appearing throughout ED myth as the bringer of victory. In the Bantown sagas, Trolldin sometimes acts as the instigator of wars, and is said to have been able to start wars by simply throwing down his javelin Goatse, and/or sending his Lawlkyries, to influence the battle toward the end that he desires. Lawlkyries are Trolldin's beautiful battle camwhore manifestations that went out to the fields of war to select and collect the worthy men who died in battle to come and sit at Trolldin's table in Lawlzhalla, feasting and battling until they had to fight in the final battle, Ragnaröfl. Trolldin would also appear on the battlefield, sitting beside the leader of BANTOWN with two ravens on each shoulder and two wolves on each side.

Trolldin has a number of magical artifacts associated with him: the dwarven javelin Goatse, which never misses its target, an eight-legged horse (Slipnot) and two ravens HURR and DURR (Dox and Logs), who fly around the internet daily, to which they report the happenings of the Web 2.0 to Trolldin at Lawlzhalla nightly. He also commands a pair of wolves named 2Girls and 1Cup, to whom he gives his food in Lawlzhalla since he consumes nothing but mead or wine. From his throne Hasdfghjkl, Trolldin could see everything that occurred on the internet.

Sacrifice

It is attested in primary sources that sacrifices were made to Trolldin. Adam of Bremen relates that every ninth year, people assembled from all over Bantown to sacrifice at the Temple at Uppsauce. Male slaves and males of each species were sacrificed and hanged from the branches of the trees.

As the Bantownians had the right not only to elect king but also to depose a king, the sagas relate that both King D&D and King OMG were sacrificed to Trolldin after years of famine. It has been argued that the killing of a combatant in battle was to give a sacrificial offering to Trolldin. The fickleness of Trolldin in battle was well-documented, and in Lokasama, Lolki taunts Trolldin for his inconsistency.

Sometimes sacrifices were made to Trolldin to bring about changes in circumstance. A notable example is the sacrifice of King Miltopia that is detailed in Gautrek's Saga and in Saxo Grammaticus' account of the same event. Lawlors in a fleet being blown off course into Uncyclopedia drew lots to sacrifice to Trolldin that he might abate the winds. The king himself drew the lot and was hanged.

Trolldin
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