User:TroLOLOLMFAO/Thrash metal

Typical trashers

Thrash metal (moar like tRash metal) is another one of the millions of subgenres of heavy metal. To identify a song as thrash, it would have some crazy vocalist who screams like some naked ass-pie is running around a school naked showing off his one testicle, doing butthurt vocals or simply ripping off James Hetfag because they can't think of a style of vocals that is gay enough to fit in with the talentless and obnoxious style. Also, trash metal has solos beaten off with guitar wankery, a drummer on redbull who drums fast by having a monkey tickling his ass, trannies with long ass hair and viciously tight skinny ass jeans, guitar banging and sweaty fans who mosh as an excuse to secretly put their cocks in each other's asses or on each others cocks, which is the whole point of moshing.

History

1980s: The Most Orgasmic Era For All Trashers=

When Shittallica formed in 1981 to pioneer this monkey-fuck style of music, some fag named Lars Ulrich, even though he wasn't a kike and didn't have a huge ass schnoz, decided that he could get ulrich by forming a shitty heavy metal band. Once James Hetfag, some jocky named Ron McGovney, a ginger named Dave Mustard teamed up, the band formed. The band then started this genre tracing their roots to the vagina liquid the members got from the moisture their vaginas got after beating off to britfaggot bands with long ass hair and all teh punx rawkaz! Their first song "Hit the Lights", which successfully got fucked in the ass by that slut named Selena Gomez, was the first trash metal song and featured some nigger with dark shit-colored skin playing the guitarded solos. The band started playing gigs naked so the fanboys could rub their vulvas to them but were too much of a fucking ass-pie retard to realize that those are not females but just males with twats and long ass hair. Dave Mustard then got fired from the band for being a ginger because the member's were scared of getting the ginger vitus disease that Dave and all the gingers have. Until they decided it's okay to get aids, they became each other's prison punk again. But then the jocky Ron left because he knew the band was gonna be really, really gay. In 1983 when all the glamfag boy bands appeared dressing in bright make-up and long hair and pink lip gloss, the band couldn't play in LA because people couldn't handle the obnoxious type of music they played in their shit-smeared garage. After a security guard tossed chairs at them for trying to play their music at the Sunset Strip (an excuse to show your private parts to the crowd full of faggots), they moved to San Diego while Dave Mustard formed Gaygadeth. Then Gayer formed and Assthrax formed. With the pioneering of Shittallica, the ginger aids of Gaygadeth, the fail at being shocking of Gayer, and the majorly spreading disease of Assthrax, these four boy bands became the big 4........................ of aids, fags, trannies and wankery. So then Piss Burton and Kirk Hamster joined Shittallica.

Once a bunch of faggy metalheads came to their gigs, moar trash bands came like Exodus, who featured a major poser faggot named Paul Baloff, who thankfully lost his life in 2002. (Rest in Pain) After Metallica wrote a few butthurt songs about the glamfags in LA who pwned them and talking running around in shows naked to put your cock in each others asses, and killing just for teh lulz, Exodus decided to do that when they released Bonded By Blood. Bonded By Blood was known for its extremely gay album cover with two naked baby boys who look like Kirk Hamster and Lars Ulrich since the members were obviously pedophilic crackers. The band's concerts also were churches at the same time, since basically Paul was in there bitching and whining with his whole preach about posers even though he is one as well as his fanboys. Paul also would get extremely butthurt whenever somebody came in with a glam band t-shirt [[I did it for the lulz|just for the lulz and to troLOLOLOL the guitarded fanboys. The only reason why Paul would cut their glam shirts and wear the pieces on his wrist as a trophy is only an excuse to see them shirtless and to take a picture of it to jerk off to later. He also would later cut his wrist and cover it with the badge like the wemo he fucking is.

Then suddenly a band full of spics named Sepultura came up, as well as Testacle, who were too much of a fucking retard to spell "testicle" right as well as other bands.

Thankful thrash deaths of this decade: CLIFF BURTON. DIED IN A TOUR BUS ACCIDENT IN SWEDEN ON SEPTEMBER 27TH 1986! REST IN PAIN!

1990s: About to Die Soon=

When all the glamfag bands like Poison, Ratt, Warrant, Whitesnake, etc were brutally shot and murdered by grunge bands like Kurt Cobain, the Gay Area Trash scene in California was shrinking once the fanboys had nothing to declare war on, and then they all got extremely butthurt when Shittallica changed their sound just for the lulz with their Black Album. Then Assthrax suddenly became a bunch of wiggers and pioneered rap metal by playing that wigger song Bring Tha Noize with the nigger rap group Pubic Enemy. Even Gaygadeth also abandoned the trash sound completely in the middle of the 1990s and even sold out to hipsters and preps when they released a gay pop rock album called Risk which pissed off so many faggy fans and Dave Mustard even straightened his hair to look mainstream. Testacle also sold out and tried hard to join the death metal sound around in town with their album Demonic, which has a disgusting song called Murky Waters full of disgusting noises the band beat each other off to, and an album cover with some kvlt black metalhead with needles sticking out his head. Sepultura also suddenly became a bunch of nu metal fantards when releasing Roots with some gay ass groove metal sound and a little mall-metal whine trash in it. They also collaborated with wiggers like DJ Lethal in the album. Even Exodus became another band nobody gave a flying fuckin' vagina skin piece about. Also, the lulziest moment was when Shittallica didn't want to look like trannies anymore and cut their hair short, which made a bunch of fans toss a bitch-fit, especially when they made a redneck song called "Mama Said". Their hair was short until 2000 when Kirk got it long again and in 2003 when Jason Newsted, the bassist was replaced by a beaner. Even the fans got butthurt when the nu metal bands came out which gave them their next archenemy!

2000s: It Returns But Gets Fucked in the Ass

While nu metal was still big, people still didn't gave a flying fuck about Exodus until Paul Baloff died (rest in pain) in 2002. Then some skinhead named Rob Duke joined the band as fanboys went to have sex with Paul's cadaver. Then Shittallica released St. Anger and tried to go nu metal but failed at it and couldn't play real nu metal. They also showed their inner gayness and obviously left the closet by putting a boner on the album cover. Suddenly Kirk forgot to write a solo, a beaner joined the band, James sounded like a complete fucktarded bonermaster, and Lars forgot the difference between trash cans and drum kits. Gaygadeth thankfully disbanded but then reformed and now we're once again doomed by the spread of Dave Mustard's ginger vitus. Then suddenly a bunch of bands tried to revive the thrash sound by distorting their guitars so much until the ears bleed, a guy pretending to play bass, and some faggot with long hair screaming in the microphone. They also would talk about posers in all their songs. These bands include Fueled By Faggot (who have some spics in the band), Nuclear Torment (nintendorks/gamerfags who say they are against emofags but one of the members has the emo haircut), Amok, Speedboozer (Motorhead wannabes/biker-fags who also are a wannabe punk band) and others. These faggots make songs about how they hate posers but they are ones, and some make shit about how much they hate emofags and scene kids even though they all are emos and scene kids who sound just like Cum on the Dance Floor. (Tell them that for the lulz and watch their butthurt faggotry shoot up!) Then there's bands who talk about killing, which Fueled By Faggotry did when releasing their 2nd album. The members only killed just to have sex with corpses like necrophilic pussies they all are. They all would've been glam faggots if they were in the 1980s. During this decade even a bunch of melodic metalcore retards starting praising a Japan/Nazi band called Fat Larry's Band as thrash metal which apparently got many trashers extremely butthurt about it. At first Fat Larry's Band began as a gay melodic metalcore band and even in 2005, they sometimes looked emo, until they then sold out in 2006, two members grew long hair and they became a tr00 trash metal band and revived the sound of Shittallica by screaming ALLAH UFUCKBAR!!!! a bunch of times. Until then, they started spreading their support for teh holocaust and had some Japanfag vocalist named Matt Heafy and a skinhead drummer named Travis. They supported the World War II attacks, blitzkrieg and Adolf Hitler's one and only testicle, which apparently their bassist had. Then after all the failure of trying to sound like James Hetfag and being a trash metal band, they went back to their poser sound. Now even metalcore christfags As I'm Gay Dying have been called thrash metal as well as britfags Bullshit For My Faggot Time. Sooner or later the new-trashers are going to invade your precious Fat Larry's Band concerts and castrate all of you poserfags! DEATH TO TRUE METAL!!!!!!!!! There's also bands like Evile, who are britfags but have a nigger in the band who no one gave shit about this band until the nigger died. One less nigger!!!! WHITE POWDER POWER!!!!!!

Thankful thrash deaths of this generation: PAUL BALOFF - FINALLY THE BIGGEST POSER EVER IS DEAD!!! FUCK THIS GLAM FAGGOT! --- PETER STEELE - ONE LESS FAGGOTH!!! --- MIKE ALEXANDER - ONE LESS NIGGER!!!!! HOW DID HE JOIN A BRITFAG BAND?!?!?!

Fans

Identifying Fans

If you see a fan, they'll usually have...

• Long ass, usually curly hair that covers the entire forehead
• If they're 30 or 40, they have straighter hair and have a beard and fuzzy eyebrows with nests in there from birds
• Skinny ass tight jeans
• Black band shirts
• Basketball shoes (Even though they aren't fuckin' basketball players often)
• Sodomizing aspects
• pleasure of listening to music played by a bunch of ape-behaved retards with one testicle.
• Either has a male vagina or a super small cock
• Accusation of raping babies like the members of Exodus did
• A creepy smile in pictures
• Internet Tough Guy poses
• Has only one testicle because of how gay they look
• If they're in their 30s or above they quit being a tranny and become a skinhead or a beardfag and take the curls off and wear bigger jeans
• A tranny appearance

How to Troll Fans

• Spell "thrash metal" as "trash metal"
• Say that Exodus, Metallica, Megadeth, Sadus, etc are glamfags (Especially Exodus!)
• Say that Paul Baloff was a glam faggot or a poser
• Go on about how some crossover thrash bands are somewhat punk and that fusion genres aren't metal which is what they might think
• Tell them they look like a tranny
• Tell them they need a haircut
• Tell them they look like a poser or glamfag
• Ask them why they are wearing their little sibling's jeans
• Say that Dave Mustaine is a fag for being a ginger
• Say that Diabolus in Musica is Slayer's best album
• Say that Metallica's best work is St. Anger or Lulu
• Say that Fat Larry's Band were always thrash
• Say that new Sepultura is better than old Sepultura
• Say that their favorite bands are emo
• Ask them why they listen to gay music when they can be a jock in high school
• Say that Exodus are radio rock
• Say that System of a Down are real thrash metal
• Say that Speedboozer are scenefags
• Say that As I Lay Dying are a thrash band
• Talk shit about Kerry King
• Talk shit about Paul Baloff
• Bash Exodus
• If they're a stereotypical Megadeth fanboy, say that Metallica are better than Megadeth
• Say that glam metal is better than thrash metal
• Say that KoRn revive the Pantera sound
• Say that Sepultura's Roots album was their most thrashiest album
• If they like crossover thrash (depending on the band), ask them why they like pogo-dancing
• Pogo-dance when they tell you to mosh like you're in an Exodus gig
• Wear a Motley Crue/Ratt/any other glam shirt to an Exodus gig for teh lulz
• Ask why Soulfly weren't immediately accepted on Metal Archives and Sepultura were
• Say that Tom Araya or Paul Baloff sound like raging faggots
• Say that they look like a girl if they have that long ass curly hair shit stuff
• Show them this article
• Put up the matoik with your thumb out
• Put up the peace hand sign at a gig
• Say that Bullet For My Valentine's album The Poison revived the early days of thrash metal
• Say that Motley Crue, Poison, Bon Jovi, Quiet Riot, Whitesnake, Winger and all that shit are real thrash metal
• Say that Exodus sold out in the 1980s and made acoustic ballads for the posers

Styles and Forms

Crossover Trash

Once a wannabe-punk band named Suicidal Tendencies released their debut album, they decided to eventually sellout and become a trash band, but they were too up da punxxx which made them make crossover thrash. Some bands are punk-sounding thrash, while some are half punk and half thrash and some are just thrash influenced punk which would make them a bunch of poseurs. Many of these bands ripoff the lyrics from Assthrax and they try to be funny but fail epically, the only thing funny about them is that you can just laugh at how unfunny they are. At concerts the place is filled with a bunch of thrashers and punXXX and they usually have short hair and pogo-dance, but for some reason the thrashers are too fucking retarded to notice the pogo-dancing, unless it comes from a BR00T4L PIG SKWEEL KID. Some examples out of all the millions of bands include

• Suicidal Tendencies - The pioneers of this shitty genre. They used to be a wannabe-punk band writing angsty lyrics then sold out. One of their past members was a beaner and was an illegal immigrant who joined Shittallica.
• Stormtroopers of Death - SOD? I LUV SYSTEM OF A DOWN!!! Star Wars fanfaggots who think they're offensive but they don't have the balls to try suicide. DO IT FAGGOT!!!! NAWWWWW!!!!!!! Scott Ian from Assthrax was in this band
• The Exploited - First were some street punk/Oi! nazi punk band then suddenly tried to play trash but they knew they were trash, but thought that trash was the same thing as thrash metal which makes them a bunch of fuckin' asspies. These jockies then went as a hardcore punk band. The singer Wattie Fuckan sounds like a raging butthurt faggot because his girlfriend betrayed him.
• DRI - FAGS!!! FAGS!!! YOU AIN'T METAL. DON'T FUCK WIT OZZY!!!!
• Nuclear ASSault - Are they really TRASH? Well sure they are trash. BUT WUT ABOUT CROSSOVER THRASH? THAT IS TRASH YOU DUMBFUCKu Klux Klan!!!!

Teutonic Thrash

Just in case you were fucking retarded, it's NOT "titanic thrash". Teutonic Thrash or known as "hun thrash" or "Nazi thrash" or "one testicle thrash" is just simply trash metal played by huns/Germans/Nazis/fags with one testicle. Some bands are Kreator, who are so fucking asspied in the assburgers they can't spell "creator" right. They first began as a bunch of posers trying to be trve kvlt black metallers (not nigger metallers). Sodom, short for "I wanna sodomize you with my cock in your ass cuz I'm a big fag", and Destruction, who apparently are terrorists, even though they aren't Muzzies or sand niggers.