User:Zaiger/My Little Pony
My Little Pony: Friendship is magic is a big gay pink clusterfuck of a television show directed at little girls with the attention span of a dog with an arse full of crack. The show is also surrounded by various plastic crap in the shape of grinning flowery ponies, hand carved by the finest diseased Chinese orphans HASBRO can enslave. It was your average bullshit children's show until it gained an unnaturally large following of fat greasy basement dwellers all desperate to gain some semblance of their childhood by desperately obsessing over a childrens show about magical faggot ponies. Self-labeled as the dreaded Brony, these mongoloid fucktards have created billions of unfunny image macros and a few half-arsed forced memes, vomiting it over every inch of the interbutts whilst they masturbate furiously to a small plastic figurine of Pinkie Pie.
Concept
It was during early 2010 that a the great hipster demon Lauren Faust thought it would be a really great idea to revive the My Little Pony television show, and transform it into the small flowery bowl of ballbag sweat it is today. Faust decided to put the ponies in a place called Equestria which literally translates from Latin into something about horse fucking or some shit. The Ponies are all wimmmins and run the entire society, which basically means that all of Equestria is a gigantic kitchen, and if it isn't- god save those ponies. The show basically revolves around a purple pony called Twilight Sparkle dicking about with all the other ponies and learning about friendship and happiness and how to properly stroke the shaft, so all the little girls out there can learn from these life lessons and apply them in the real world as soon as possible.
Characters
- Princess Celestia - The Fuhrer and Grand Douche of Equestria.
- Princess Luna -
Had two lines in the show and Ponyfags clop themselves every time they see it.BUT THEN SHE CAME BACK CLOP CLOP CLOP. Now, in the show's even more cancerous second season, she had FIVE lines in one episode as apposed the the measly TWO lines she had in season one, and as a result, her fanbase of waifu-loving faggots have multiplied. - Twilight Sparkle - A basement-dwelling pony whose job is to report its findings on the faggotry known as friendship.
- Rainbow Dash - A carpet-munching slutbag with an ADHD problem. She can break the sound barrier in a glorious flash of blue originality. Ponyfags love to ship her with every other character on the show, despite the fact that MLP is a children's cartoon and thus forces her to be asexual in all ways.
- Fluttershy - This one mercifully doesn't talk much and consequently is preyed upon by slavering manchild hordes because it behaves like one of their Japanese anime girls.
- Pinkie Pie - A hyperactive attention whore who no one gave a shit about until the fanfic known as 'cupcakes' came to light, proving that Ponyfags have a fetish for ponies mutilating other ponies and then eating them.
- Rarity - Spike's cocktease. Ironically, she represents Generosity despite being the greediest and whiniest of the main characters. She designs clothes for a living.
- Applejack - An inbred, cousin-fucking, moonshine drinking, mountain dwelling hillbilly. A prime example of what happens when a woman can't outrun her brother down south.
- Spike - His only purpose on the show is to be a token character so that people won't think that the lack of male character makes the show sexist.
Analysis
Note the lack of significant male characters; this is proof that Lauren Faust is a closet feminazi. When any male ponies are shown, they rarely speak and, if they do, will say something submissive or generally stupid to the strong female characters. This will inevitably lead the thirteen-year-old girls who watch this show to develop unwarranted self importance, furthering the their chances of getting taught a lesson by an upscale gentleman. The pony Rarity regularly manipulates her loverboy Spike to do arduous labor for little or no pay, because a lady is not supposed to get her hands dirty. Fuck equal work for equal pay; the hope for pussy is as good a currency as any. Also of note is that many of the male ponies are shown doing menial physical labor such as pulling carriages, plowing fields or taking notes. It is obvious that Equestria is a BDSM pony heaven, as the men who live there obviously love having their dicks stepped on in high heel horseshoes by their female mistress overlords.
—Faust admitting the truth |
Disease
The cancer that infected 4chan in January 2011
Remember that for this fandom to start, some people, for some reason, somehow, somewhere, watched this children's program. Why this abominable event would ever occur at any time ever, only god knows why. But co quickly latched on to the show, creating thread after thread of fanart and fanfiction, to the vast and unending dismay of everyone else. A few weeks later, this cancer has found its way to /b/. But /b/ sucked ass already. As thus, it's just the oldfags whining about /b/ again.
The pony HIV was started when the five original Ponyfags (Fluttershy, age 16, Applejack, age 22, Pinkiepie, age 20, Rainbowdash, age 23, and Big Mcln, age 14) had a private conversation, and decided to post a pony thread on /b/, as a raid from /co/. Big Mcln posted all of this evidence on May 17th. He also said that he thought that "Shit's gone WAAY to far". All of this info can be seen in the screen-cap to the right.
Known as bronies, these grown men like to post pictures of neon colored ponies and gush about their favorite characters and episodes. Focusing more on the show itself than its intended audience, these threads are always full of fail. Some argue that these threads are just a very elaborate way to piss off half of /b/, while others are sure that these threads are created for non-ironic reasons.
Either way, as of February 2011, there can be at least one of these threads found on the front page at any time, with a group of ponyfags wanting to be the little girl. As the threads quickly reach their image limit and get reposted, it may appear that the pony threads are popular on /b/ and have a large following. This is not the case, in reality it is the same group of tripfags and a few Anonymous posters keeping solely in their own pony threads.
While normal people on /b/ have multiple threads open that they actively lurk or post in, this group of MLP fans dedicate all their time and posts to the "official" MLP thread. In conjunction with the idiot chemo bombers (see below), these threads are guaranteed to stay on page 0 most of the time. In response, other /b/tards spam these threads with endless gore and CP. Which they do richly deserve.
Some believe pony threads are a large source of original content, while in reality most of it is old recycled /b/ memes with screencaps from the show that don't really fit.
The chemo that treated 4chan in February 2011
On February 26th, it had become apparent the mods were tired of putting up with the pony bullshit. Within a minute, every pro-pony poster on the current "Official MLP thread" had been publicly banned. Epic butthurt soon followed from the ponyfags who escaped the first roundup, as well as proxied ponyfags and trolls trying to piss off mods.
A word filter was put in place than autobanned anyone who would post the word "pony." As /b/ was in a shitstorm about the event, this caused half of all the posters without proxies on /b/ to be banned for the rest of the day.
Predictably, all the banned ponyfags came back the next day and continued their faggotry like nothing had happened. The mods lol'd at their stupidity, and waited for more pony threads to be posted, then banned every poster for 2 weeks. In the 4chan justice system, these actions were completely justified.
The chemo that helped 4chan in June 2011
Pictured right, Advice Dog returns to save all of 4chan from the ponies and their faggotry. Many breathed a sigh of relief to see an end to the constant bullshit that was arguably the most cancerous thing that had ever happened to /b/, which was like puking on a pile of shit, and the /b/tards were overjoyed to have their pukeless shit back. Needless to say, a shitstorm and much butthurt followed from newfags and ponyfags.
This of course did fuck-all, as nobody listens to scriptfags
The chemo that saved 4chan in October 2011
On October 22, 2011, a sticky on /b/ was posted by moot, declaring trips to be taken away and ponies to be told to GTFO. This only provoked more pony faggotry, as the ponies flocked to the single thread to bitch. A ray of light shined upon /b/ however, as every ponyfag that posted in the thread was promptly executed by the glorious hammer. This incited much butthurt through the ponyfags, who proceeded to whine even more. The thread was then spammed with faggotry from the Wastelander, Alice, and ponies who figured out that they can dodge bans by resetting their IP (Namefags are banned now too). Moot had to eventually lock the thread before the cancer ruined his precious sticky.
Some argue that OP was not really moot, but a butthurt staff member. These people are the ones who post all this pony shit and should die in a fire.
Ponies threaten to raid, and the tripfags are cast out
Another sticky was made based on an original post found on ponychan, where a faggot tried to get ponies to DDoS 4chan. This led to ANOTHER thread full of ponies that started to bitch. However, the rest of /b/ took advantage of the lack of unique tripcodes, and proceeded to troll the living fuck out of anyone who even so much as expressed any sort of faggotry, not just restricted to ponies. In a giant spout of cancer and AIDS, the tripfags were ridiculed and were spammed with horse porn, leaving them little choice but to leave the board.
But it seems the cancer refuses to leave, as the /b/tards started spouting shit along the lines of GETs, where they kept having orgasms over every double or triple they attained. The whole point was probably the irony that tripcodes and triple digits are both shortened to just trips, and thus newfags attempted to get trips. This finally led to the sticky being deleted, as that kind of faggotry would probably explode and destroy /b/.
The relapse that hit 4chan in February 2012
There is now a fucking My Little Pony board all in its own right, /mlp/. Note that this has not reduced the amount of pony-related spam on the other boards one fucking bit, with pony threads still routinely popping up on b, co, v and even tg and tv.
—Anonymous | ||
Some argue that it might be a trap set to ban all of those faggots in one shot. To gouge your own eyes out visit the temple of faggotry.
Derpygeddon
On January 21st, 2012 every ponyfag jizzed themselves when long time fan character Derpy Hooves was given speaking lines and named specifically in a new episode. They immediately flooded the internet with over 9000 times more faggotry than they usually do after a new episode, celebrating their ultimate domination over a cartoon for little girls.
Prelude to a flame war
In the days that followed the episode's airing a small faction of fans who were offended by Derpy's portrayal emerged in the cesspit of furfags that is Ponychan. They said that her voice and actions in the episode were degrading to people with mental illnesses. Naturally the ponyfags met this difference of opinion with their typical mantra of love and tolerance...We're just fucking with you, they immediately lost their collective shit and began a flame war. Petitions were signed, letter writing campaigns were started, and shitty fanart in support of Derpy was posted on deviantART. In a completely surprising turn of events the episode was removed from iTunes and all instances of "Derpy" were being removed from the online retailer, WeLoveFine. The ponyfags immediately realized that all their campaigning had done exactly the opposite of what they intended. (many lulz were had by the ponyfags who saw this coming)
A champion of the lulz emerges
The ponyfags calmed down and returned to their usual routine of masturbating to fanfiction of ponies fucking, but a question lingered in the air. Who was responsible for the initial instance of butthurt? Enter Derpy Hooves (aka Elen Barbarich), an animator on the show and official sufferer of Girl on the Internet Syndrome and Unwarranted Self-Importance. At some point during the first flame war Yamino had begun posting to her tumblr blog about how anyone who supported Derpy was an "ableist" and that she fully supported removal of the character from the episode to protect retarded children everywhere. Due to her close connection with the show's development all the ponyfags decided she was responsible for the episode being pulled from iTunes and moved their campaign of rage from Ponychan to Yamino's blog.
Yamino's blog was well fortified with a trained army of white knights who would defend their queen at all costs. Armed with a near infinite supply of copypasta and death threats, the ponyfags waged a war of attrition against the blog for the next month. Yamino continues to reap many lulz from the ongoing flame war while the butthurt and frustration amongst the ponyfags grows on a daily basis from raids by her followers and the resilience of her overinflated ego.
The butthurt reaches critical mass
Roughly a month after the episode was pulled from iTunes it reappeared, re-dubbed and edited to be "less offensive". The amount of rage and butthurt that errupted from the ponyfags was enough to keep /b/ in a lulz surplus for at least 100 years. Yamino claimed that her campaign of lulz was successful while clopping to the altered scene in celebration as even more death threats than before began flooding in. Afraid that one of the basement dwelling furfags might actually make good on one of their threats another animator stepped into the fray to clarify Yamino had nothing to do with the changes. Despite this effort to prematurely stop one of the best lollercoasters in ponyfag history, the flame war continued without missing a beat.
The conflict is still ongoing, as the grand puppet-master of lulz has yet to reveal themselves. In the meantime the ponyfag forces are directionless and in disarray, while Yamino and her white knights have begun a sockpuppet campaign to further dissolve the ponyfag forces from within. Hasbro and the production team have remained mostly silent on the situation. This has proved to be an endless source of fresh rage for the basement dwellers.
Analysis of Ponyfags
There are many problems with this embarrassment to God, as a matter of fact we should just list them right now:
- Ponyfags spread their unfunny memes faster than AIDS spreads at a Native African orgy. The evidence for this is clear. For example, the meme "Needs to be 20% cooler" is funnier to type than it is to actually hear. In the episode itself, Twilight Sparkle's voice actor sounds totally uninterested in what the fuck she is reading. And not just for that moment in the show, really ALL THE TIME.
- They feel the need to defend the show saying its a perfect example of everything a good animated series needs. Like forgettable music scores, piss poor flash animation, and a script riddled with goofy moments BECAUSE IT'S MEANT FOR CHILDREN and references that supposedly make it complex.
- Ponyfags are deluded people in the first place, and that reflects on their opinions of the show. Like the three main popular shows on Cartoon Network (Adventure Time, Gumball, and Regular Show) those shows got attention only because of their sexual appeal. My Little Pony is basically the popularity of Adventure Time and Gumball combined; it's popular because it's the easy-to-sexualize animals and the assumption that everyone is a neon lesbian put into one. It's a shit storm of bad animation, unfunny memes, and Encyclopedia Dramatica articles writing themselves. But for this reason just listed alone, it corrupts the (already pathetic) brain of a Ponyfag into believing that the show is well animated, well written, creative, and a gold mine of well deserved popularity. In reality it is merely a show made by a crazy cunt who did some good shows in the past but fucked up the target audience for this and grabbed... God knows what.
"Famous" bronies
Furfags or hipsters?
It's hard to say what exactly the ponyfag menace is. Are they a bunch of furfags or hipster fags? Both. My Little Pony is a show about neon girly animals, this gives the furfag community a boner. Now as for why hipsters love this show it's clearly obvious. Hipsters hate what adults like, however, adults do not fully understand this ponyfag thing and they don't understand why grown males would watch a show for little girls. Thus making My Little Pony perfect hipster bait for every possible hipster reason.
Despite obviously being a bunch of closet furfags, ponyfags claim they are not furries and will go to great lengths to prove their point. Ironically, even though ponyfags claim to love and tolerate all the faces of the Internet, they constantly denounce and cast-out furries from any of their boards/discussions.
Why?
—anonymous /co/ |
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Action Hank hates ponies too.
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This is an MLP fan.
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Every single one of these people is a faggot.
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So authentic!
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Black-up.
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The ponyfag cancer makes it's way onto v.
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I can't clop to this!
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This is what BroNYCon looks like.
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Put them out of their misery.
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Seattle's PAX 2011's Ponyfag contingent. You can't make this shit up.
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Want retarded kids? Give them retarded toys.
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How Ponyfags are made.
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The cancer found its way into Minecraft.
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Ponyfags have assburgers syndrome.
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There's something horribly wrong with these statistics.
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Ponyfags are and will always be forever alone.
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Hello ladies!
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Pedro gets his cutie mark
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How Ponyfags see 9/11
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clop clop clop
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Common inflation artist that can't draw shit.
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Another example of a common inflation artist that still can't draw shit but instead jacks off to it.
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Typical Brony doing brony things.
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CLOP*
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CLOP*
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CLOP*
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CLOP*
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CLOP*
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CLOP*
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CLOP*
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CLOP*
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CLOP*
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CLOP*
Videos
For the next 12 hours he cries and threatens to kill himself.
Previous Video | Next Video
See Also
- Basement-dweller
- Bestiality
- Chris-chan
- Faggot
- Feminism
- Furries in denial
- Jasha Lottin
- Manchild
- Mr. Hands
- My Little Pony Arena
- Niggest Crook Force
- Pony
- Ponyland Drama
- Robot Unicorn Attack
- Ruining The Internet
- Sethisto
- Shitting Rainbows
- Sparkledogs
- The Unknown Autobot
- Yiff
External Links
- Hasbro site
- My Little Pony Arena (where most of the manchild ponyfags reside)
- MLPFIM wikia for ponyfags
- BroNYCon. Like Anthrocon, except worse.
- Ponychan. Where Moot unsuccessfully banished the fags
- Equestria Daily. All the ponyfags gather here to suck Sethisto's cock
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 Zaiger/My Little Pony is part of a series on articles which are the subject of retarded edit wars |
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