William Atchison: Difference between revisions
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==Background== | ==Background== | ||
[[File:William atchison - plan of action.jpg|250px|thumb|right|Amazingly, this photo is not from ''[[The Onion]]''.]] | [[File:William atchison - plan of action.jpg|250px|thumb|right|Amazingly, this photo is not from ''[[The Onion]]''.]] | ||
[[File:LangNinetailsEldigato01.png|350px|thumb|right|[https://e926.net/posts/237061#comment-883008 I want to cum inside, but the couch's in the way.]]] | |||
Having been born on March 18, 1996 in Aztec, [[Some argue|it is likely]] that William grew up in a trailer with a white trash background just like every other white devil in the state. In high school, he was a loner, [[Trying too hard|wearing a trenchcoat to school everyday]] just like [[Columbine|his idols]], and inevitably got picked on for wearing a trenchcoat in the hot ass desert shithole where he lived. Too dumb to graduate from high school, he ended up working at a gas station, and frittering away his meager Jewgolds on buying FPS gaymes, Doritos, and poor quality [[drugs]]. He certainly never saved up enough to lose his virginity to one of the state's many affordable, [[Cheap|fuck-for-a-buck]], Mexican or Injun [[Whores|whores]], which no doubt increased his fears that [[Fact|he was deeply homosexual]]. Or perhaps he didn't save up for a ride because he knew his [[micropenis|pindick]] wouldn't respond, exposing him to [[Shamefur Dispray|further humiliation]]. | Having been born on March 18, 1996 in Aztec, [[Some argue|it is likely]] that William grew up in a trailer with a white trash background just like every other white devil in the state. In high school, he was a loner, [[Trying too hard|wearing a trenchcoat to school everyday]] just like [[Columbine|his idols]], and inevitably got picked on for wearing a trenchcoat in the hot ass desert shithole where he lived. Too dumb to graduate from high school, he ended up working at a gas station, and frittering away his meager Jewgolds on buying FPS gaymes, Doritos, and poor quality [[drugs]]. He certainly never saved up enough to lose his virginity to one of the state's many affordable, [[Cheap|fuck-for-a-buck]], Mexican or Injun [[Whores|whores]], which no doubt increased his fears that [[Fact|he was deeply homosexual]]. Or perhaps he didn't save up for a ride because he knew his [[micropenis|pindick]] wouldn't respond, exposing him to [[Shamefur Dispray|further humiliation]]. | ||
On the other hand, or Willy's other girlfriend as it came to be, he did display some initiative by managing to scrape together enough from his pocket-money wages to buy a Glock from a licensed dealer some time in 2017 (not that it makes much of a difference seeing guns are as accessible in New Mexico as alcohol and STDs). A new 9mm Glock costs at least $400 and probably more like $550. That's half a grand that Atchison could have used to improve his life. Some [[CS III|IT studies]] to bolster his résumé? A second-hand [[Exploding Van|car,]] to widen his job prospects? A [[Crackwhore|reasonable whore]] and half-a-dozen points of [[Cocaine|chang]], with change left over for Taco Bell and a wasted weekend on the beer? | On the other hand, or Willy's other girlfriend as it came to be, he did display some initiative by managing to scrape together enough from his pocket-money wages to buy a Glock from a licensed dealer some time in 2017 (not that it makes much of a difference seeing guns are as accessible in New Mexico as alcohol and STDs). A new 9mm Glock costs at least $400 and probably more like $550. That's half a grand that Atchison could have used to improve his life. Some [[CS III|IT studies]] to bolster his résumé? A second-hand [[Exploding Van|car,]] to widen his job prospects? A [[Crackwhore|reasonable whore]] and half-a-dozen points of [[Cocaine|chang]], with change left over for Taco Bell and a wasted weekend on the beer? | ||
Eventually, he gave up completely on trying to have a meaningful life or find a girlfriend/hooker, and instead settled for becoming a sexless [[atheist|fedora-tipping]] [[ | Eventually, he gave up completely on trying to have a meaningful life or find a girlfriend/hooker, and instead settled for becoming a sexless [[atheist|fedora-tipping]] [[brony]]/[[furfag]] who shitposted on [[pol|/pol/]], eventually becoming a [[useless|sysop on ED]]. | ||
==Almost [[V&]]== | ==Almost [[V&]]== | ||
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* {{Xbox|El Digato}} - Xbox Live gamertag. | * {{Xbox|El Digato}} - Xbox Live gamertag. | ||
* {{Skype|mr.apophis}} - Skype account. (N.b., naming himself after [[Apophis|an asteroid predicted to wipe out humankind]]) | * {{Skype|mr.apophis}} - Skype account. (N.b., naming himself after [[Apophis|an asteroid predicted to wipe out humankind]]) | ||
* {{Discord|user| | * {{Discord|user|phenomenal_monkey_43221}} - Discord account. '''Formerly: W A#5977, [[Discord]] forcing retarded name system''' | ||
* <s>{{wikialink|eldigato||Eldigato Wikia}}</s> {{wayback|eldigato.wikia.com/wiki/Eldigato_Wiki|20171212215512}} - Wikia that was set up for himself. Has [[Eminem]] lyrics. | * <s>{{wikialink|eldigato||Eldigato Wikia}}</s> {{wayback|eldigato.wikia.com/wiki/Eldigato_Wiki|20171212215512}} - Wikia that was set up for himself. Has [[Eminem]] lyrics. | ||
* {{blog|phantommastah}} - Blogger that was set up in 2008. Complaining about his family, has posts from [[2008]], [[2013]], and [[2014]]. | * {{blog|phantommastah}} - Blogger that was set up in 2008. Complaining about his family, has posts from [[2008]], [[2013]], and [[2014]]. | ||
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* [https://s1356.photobucket.com/user/eldigato/profile photobucket] | * [https://s1356.photobucket.com/user/eldigato/profile photobucket] | ||
* [https://www.gaiaonline.com/profiles/billisbill/5236977/ GAIA] | * [https://www.gaiaonline.com/profiles/billisbill/5236977/ GAIA] | ||
* [https://rtb.fandom.com/wiki/Sephiroth Self-written [[Wikia]] article] | * <s>[https://rtb.fandom.com/wiki/Sephiroth Self-written [[Wikia]] article]</s> - '''Deleted, took FANDOM 7 years to do that. Archive:''' {{wayback|https://rtb.fandom.com/wiki/Sephiroth|title=(Wayback Machine)}} | ||
* [https://community.fandom.com/wiki/User:Ganonseph FANDOM account] - '''Disabled by FANDOM staff at the same time the wiki linked above was baleeted.''' | |||
* [https://community.fandom.com/wiki/User:GanonSephiroth Secondary FANDOM account] - '''Same fate as above.''' | |||
* [https://columbinemassacre.forumotion.com/u791 ChoSeungHui] - account on Columbine-forum. | * [https://columbinemassacre.forumotion.com/u791 ChoSeungHui] - account on Columbine-forum. | ||
* [https://columbinemassacre.forumotion.com/u2444 FIBAgent] - account on Columbine-forum. | * [https://columbinemassacre.forumotion.com/u2444 FIBAgent] - account on Columbine-forum. | ||
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