William Atchison
Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit their gravesite or try reaching them on a Ouija Board
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This user was willing to die for the lulz... and did. |
—San Juan County Sheriff Ken Christesen | ||
.jpg) This loser never scored. | |
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| William Atchison | |
| Born | March 18, 1996 |
| Died | December 7, 2017 (aged 21) |
| Nationality | Americunts 
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| Occupation | ED sysop, basement dweller |
| High Score | Killed 2 (did worse than Randy Robert Stair) |
| Top 50? | FUCK NO! |
| Style | FPS, Singleplayer |
| An hero? | Yes, self-pwnd after being thwarted by a couch |
William Edward Atchison (also known by his uncreative aliases AlGore, Vance Stone, FuckYou, MrApophis, HeartofGold and SatanicDruggie) was an Encyclopedia Dramatica admin and pasty-faced little runt of a manlet, edgelord, and Freckle Chan's suspected cousin who shot up a school in Aztec, New Mexico on December 7, 2017. Atchison presumably aimed for the high score, but was only able to drop two noobs before becoming an hero.
Bill's long, slow descent into madness began when he joined Encyclopedia Dramatica at the age of 11. Fast forward to a decade later, he was so drained of the will to live or accomplish anything that he decided to carry out a school shooting, just like the many he had obsessively worshiped and cataloged in ED articles. His dreams of attaining immortality were tragically shot down by the fact that he was a useless pussy who couldn't even get past a sofa barricade held by an elderly woman, just as he had secretly feared all along. Thus, this article is entertaining in a way Bill didn't want, but definitely deserved for pulling such a failed stunt.
Let's hope that there's WiFi in Hell so William can read this.
Background
Having been born on March 18, 1996 in Aztec, it is likely that William grew up in a trailer with a white trash background just like every other white devil in the state. In high school, he was a loner, wearing a trenchcoat to school everyday just like his idols, and inevitably got picked on for wearing a trenchcoat in the hot ass desert shithole where he lived. Too dumb to graduate from high school, he ended up working at a gas station, and frittering away his meager Jewgolds on buying FPS gaymes, Doritos, and poor quality drugs. He certainly never saved up enough to lose his virginity to one of the state's many affordable, fuck-for-a-buck, Mexican or Injun whores, which no doubt increased his fears that he was deeply homosexual. Or perhaps he didn't save up for a ride because he knew his pindick wouldn't respond, exposing him to further humiliation.
On the other hand, or Willy's other girlfriend as it came to be, he did display some initiative by managing to scrape together enough from his pocket-money wages to buy a Glock from a licensed dealer some time in 2017 (not that it makes much of a difference seeing guns are as accessible in New Mexico as alcohol and STDs). A new 9mm Glock costs at least $400 and probably more like $550. That's half a grand that Atchison could have used to improve his life. Some IT studies to bolster his résumé? A second-hand car, to widen his job prospects? A reasonable whore and half-a-dozen points of chang, with change left over for Taco Bell and a wasted weekend on the beer?
Eventually, he gave up completely on trying to have a meaningful life or find a girlfriend/hooker, and instead settled for becoming a sexless fedora-tipping brony/furfag who shitposted on /pol/, eventually becoming a sysop on ED.
Almost Party Van
A frequent visitor to Steam game discussions, our boy Willy was first investigated by the feds, both local police and Party Van, back in 2014 or 2015 (by his account) when somebody reported his profile to fuck with him. There was hypocrisy here, as he frowned upon people saying the most depraved shit for shock value, but he participated in the same things he whined and bitched about others doing it himself.
In 2016, the dipshit made comments to other online gamers about carrying out a school shooting and which assault rifle was best suited to the task. Because of course, telling unknown numbers of complete strangers what you are planning is the perfect way to keep it secret. Unsurprisingly, the Feebs were on his doorstep pretty much immediately. Also unsurprisingly, Atchison pussied out of it by telling the G-Men that he was just trolling. Since he didn't have a gun of any kind, the lawmen decided he was just some stupid kid and posed no threat to anyone.
Ali David Sonboly
Moar info: Munich Massacre.
Will wasn't a completely friendless loser, he had a sand nigger friend named Ali Sonboly; who went postal a year before he did. The two were in some edgy Steam groups together which led to die Polizei looking into their relations after Willy's failure of a mission. Ali was born April 20, 1998, a year to the day before the CoLULbine fags went NBK and his hero, Adolf Hitler's birthday. He pwned some sixteen year old girls at the local Mickie D's in Munich Massacre, Germany before logging off life forever. The retard considered himself White Devils despite being a dirty Iran who would be put to work in das konzentrationslager with the Poland and Jews quicker than you can Sieg Heil.
The shooting
—Suicide note, completely avoiding any responsibility for his own shitty situation and ripping off another failure. Note that the dutiful prole literally planned to work until the day he died (see note above). | ||
The shooting happened on the 7th of December, 2017. Atchison (known on Blockland as Sephiroth) entered Aztec High School disguised as a student and made his way to a 2nd floor bathroom where he was literally caught with his pants down by an actual student, causing Atchison to panic.
With his plan jeopardized by the child in front of him, he shot and killed the student and ran out into the hallway, desperately searching for another victim. After picking off a second stranded target he sought out a classroom to hold hostage, but got cucked when he discovered a sofa was placed in his path.
—Will while being cucked by a couch and shooting at a wall. | ||
He rightfully killed himself in shame as the police surrounded him and he came to the realization that he was actually more pathetic of a manchild than Randy Robert Stair.
Loadout
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Online presence
Suffering from the tism and never able to make friends irl, Atchison spent the majority ALL of his time running around online constantly screeching "FUCK YOU", "NIGGER", "KILL YOURSELF" and all sorts of other tired, unimaginative nonsense. Even in more pedestrian level forums, the "shock" value of his pedantic alt-right wannabe parroting always wore thin pretty quickly.
He was not liked by anyone and his presence was only ever tolerated when he could be put to work as an online janitor, cleaning up wiki pages like ED. That was really the only useful purpose he ever served online and it was his one outlet of self-importance and he felt a great deal of virtual control by editing wiki sites like ED and as such routinely abused his position of imagined power by uploading thousands upon thousands of unironic white supremacist propaganda and meandering hate screed against niggers, Jews, SJWs and pretty much anyone not of the overly cuntservative cracker ass persuasion. Once this began to booze on out of control, several ED admins took to the forums to voice their concerns with the way he was basically fucking up everything on the site.
On Steam, Atchison would befriend Munich Massacre (and consequently contributed to his ED page more than anyone else) in between leaving edgy reviews on video games such as Wolfenstein and H8, getting himself v& for cheating in online matches.
Meanwhile on Kiwi Farms he was also a largely unknown poster. He attempted to get in good graces with the staff, probably hoping he could get sysop on their own wiki much as he did here on ED. One of his last few posts involved thirsting after fellow failed mass shooter, Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath.
Profiles
William left a lot of evidence for people to find after he killed himself, including his numerous online profiles. The following are publicly-known as of June 2019:
Vance Stone
(archive)
(Wayback Machine)- Augustus Freeman - Alternate YouTube channel, #3.
- MrApophis - Alternate YouTube channel, #4. (archive)
- Drake Goodwin - Alternate YouTube channel, #6.
- Blockdude - Alternate YouTube channel, #7 with only 2 videos.
- TheOrangeBlock - Oldest YouTube channel known, created in November of 2008. Primarily focused on Blockland.
- Tidus - Yet another alternate YouTube channel. (archive)
- Jimmy Edwards - A possible channel of his. It has the video of him scouting out the school.
WA3- Main Steam account. Now removed (most likely by Valve). (Archived: 1 2) (SteamRep)
- GNAA Initiate - Alternative Steam account. Profile URL uses one of Jeff Weise's online aliases. (SteamRep)
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Ganon/Sephiroth- Old Steam account that has Blockland name, mentions stuff that is reminiscent of back in the day. Last logged in May 2016. Now also removed by Valve. (SteamRep)
El Digato - Xbox Live gamertag.
mr.apophis - Skype account. (N.b., naming himself after an asteroid predicted to wipe out humankind)
phenomenal_monkey_43221 - Discord account. Formerly: W A#5977, Discord forcing retarded name system
Eldigato Wikia (Wayback Machine) - Wikia that was set up for himself. Has Eminem lyrics.-
phantommastah - Blogger that was set up in 2008. Complaining about his family, has posts from 2008, 2013, and 2014.
- Blogger account (Archived: 1 2)
- Blogger account (Archived:
- [1] - Imgur account, to which he only uploaded one photo. (Archived: 1 2)
sturmgeist88 - LiveJournal blog. Has 3 posts about depression (2016), and one post from 2015 with the 'insult' we all know and love. (Archived: 1 (robots) 2: (Complete file))
barajara (bob) - His DeviantArt (Archived: 2)
FuckYou - Kiwi Farms account (Archived: 1 2)- Lolcow Wiki account (Archived: 1 2)
- Minecraft Forum account (Archived: 1 2)
- Newgrounds account (Archived: 1 2)
- eldigato - Find A Grave account.
- William Edward “Vance Stone” Atchison - His memorial on Find A Grave.
- eldigato - e621 account.
- photobucket
- GAIA
Self-written FANDOM (website) article- Deleted, took FANDOM 7 years to do that. Archive: (Wayback Machine)- FANDOM account - Disabled by FANDOM staff at the same time the wiki linked above was baleeted.
- Secondary FANDOM account - Same fate as above.
- ChoSeungHui - account on Columbine-forum.
- FIBAgent - account on Columbine-forum.
Forum Posts
- Stuck in a Rural Redneck town - Self-explanatory post, whining about the town he lives in, himself, and his family. (Archived: 1 2)
- Entry #16 - A 2016 Newgrounds post saying his goodbyes and once again, complaining. (Archived: 1 2)
Videos
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Previous Video | Next Video |
Galleries
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Reaction Face my shooting gets stopped by a sofa.
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Not all heroes wear capes. This one saved a teacher and her class from an autistic psychopath.
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His father tried to setup a GoFundMe page to pay for
funeral expensesmeth. -
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The two victims
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Edgy shit he wrote with sharpie on himself before pwning himself
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Step One To Being a Successful Mass Shooter: Don't choose a place that's 2 minutes away from the pigs
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Ear protection was very unnecessary here
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MANLET WITH RAGE
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BAAAAAAWWW
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Woah, don't cut yourself
on that sharp edge!
We'd thought it'd never happen... he's got a fangirl
Previous Video | Next Video |
Who is she? The internet detectives of Encyclopedia Dramatica are on the case!
- leangirl96 - Commented on the "Future of the Vance Stone Channel" video. Possible fangirl? Also, notice the AlGore profile picture. (Wayback Machine)
- last.fm lnchnail - Linked from the YT account. Look at the name on the page, "eldigato."
cybermarlain - The same last.fm account is linked on this page. Here she is! (Wayback Machine)- myanimelist cybermarlain - Same username. One of her favorite characters listed is Rem, like the figurines we see in the video. (Wayback Machine)
- myfigurecollection cybermarlain And for the most damning of evidence, those are the exact same figurines as seen in the video. You can't hide from the stalkers at Encyclopedia Dramatica! Case closed. (Wayback Machine)
Bill's opinion of such fangirls
Previous Quote | Next Quote | |||||
Score
| Kill count: | 2/20 Did worse than Randy Robert Stair |
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| Accuracy: | 5/20 Shot at a wall for two minutes |
| Style: | 7/20 Disguised himself as a student to get inside |
| Butthurt: | 1/20 School shootings are so common now that nobody noticed |
| Bonus: | 0/20 Couldn't even make it on the High Score leaderboard |
Wanted Level:
Mall Cop
See also
- Basement-dweller - But you guessed that already.
- Bob8466 - His butt buddy.
- Central Michigan University Shooting - An attempted mass school shooting that was as lame as Al's.
- LOLumbine - In your dreams, Al.
- Encyclopedia Dramatica:Deceased Encyclopedia Dramaticians
- Gore - By name, and by nature.
- Greenwood Park Mall shooting - Another blunder of a mass shooting attempt.
- High Score - The page that he looked at every day, and now has the first entry you see in all his glory.
- Kiwi Farms - Another website where he tried to get people to notice him, failing to get it until his an hero.
- Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting - How usurping Harris and Klebold is done, Al.
- Mizhi County No. 3 Middle School Attack
- Pais, Sol - Someone with fewer kills than the couch cuck.
- Rodger, Elliot
- Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre - Hahaha, no.
- Sex - What could have prevented all this.
- Sonboly, Ali David - His friend who he used to troll with, also went amok.
- Stair, Randy Robert - Unlike William he managed to become famous in his death, and managed to get more kills.
- Unek, William - The superior William.
- User:AlGore - Future criminologists, start here.
- Virgins (72) - Now upgraded to 73, including Al.
- YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG - What William serves as an example of.
External links
- Photo Dump Alt Link
- FBI report
- Vance Stone videos archive No. 1
- Vance Stone videos archive No. 2
- You can now play as Bill in Gmod here[2] and here[3]. Have fun!
- GoFundMe for slain student Francisco “Paco” Fernandez (Archived: 1 2)
- YouCaring fundraiser for slain student Casey Jordan-Marquez (Archived: 1 2)
- GoFundMe started by Atchison's drunk and semi-literate father for "final (i.e., "funeral") expenses and qther (i.e., "other") costs." (Archived: 1 2)
- Atchison's nemesis: a 73-year-old woman armed with a comfy sofa (Archived: 1 2)
- Turns out the fail edgelord named himself after the second stage of decomposition (Archived: 1 2)
- The Daily Beast discusses his Internet presence, which includes this very website, and of course makes a complete pig's ear of it (Archived: 1 2)
- Local newspaper covers his life in school and some of his edgier comments online (Archived: 1 2)
- Family reaction to the shooting (Archived: 1 2)
Even ToW has covered his failure (Archived: 1 2)- EDF's Reaction Thread - No one was particulary surprised (Archived: 1
- CONSPIRACY ALERT! - in Amalia NM, just three hours from Al's hometown, a terrorist cell that was training school shooters has been busted (Archived: 1 2)
- Atchison's FBI file - showing that he was already known to them for some (redacted) reason (Archived:
1 2) - His autopsy report (Fukken saved) - the key finding is pictured below:
| William Atchison is part of a series on Dying Alone
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William Atchison
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| William Atchison is part of a series on National Socialists Click topics to expand | |
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Schutzstaffel 卐 Ideologie, Tradition, Praxis, und Stolz 卐 Möchtegern-Nazis 卐 Feinde, Verräter, und verboten |
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| Featured article December 14 & December 15, 2017 | ||
| Preceded by Alex Mauer |
William Atchison | Succeeded by Star Wars |
| Featured article September 27 & 28, 2018 | ||
| Preceded by Neil Gaiman's Sandman |
William Atchison | Succeeded by Randy Robert Stair |
| Featured article December 7 & 8, 2022 | ||
| Preceded by YIIK: A Post-Modern RPG |
William Atchison | Succeeded by Ae-tan |
| Article of the Now March 10 & 11, 2024 | ||
| Preceded by Dragon Ball Z |
William Atchison | Succeeded by H8 |