Clay Duke
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Clay Duke is yet another mediocre mass shooting article. You can help by not writing articles on every boring edgelord that goes postal and reminding the author they aren't William Atchison. |
Clay Duke was an hero, who would do anything for his wife. Sadly his efforts to defend his wife ended when he took V a little too seriously. On December 14, 2010, it was time to die.
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Events
Mr. Duke reportedly showed up early to a school board meeting. When it was his turn to talk he calmly approached a wall and spray painted a v for vendetta sign. Showing his class, he let the women go so he could have a chat with the board. Some dumb bitch named Ginger Littleton (facebook here) was seen sneaking up on the gunman and swinging her purse in an attempt to knock the gun out of his hand. She fails miserably but her life was spared by the honorable Mr. Duke. He then proceeds to tell his baw story about how his wife was fired. If his weight is any indication, it's probably because nobody likes fat chicks. He went on about the plight of the jew, among other things.
—Board member, on trolling people with guns. | ||
After attempting to reason their way out of the situation, he decides to start shooting. Unfortunately, he missed every single shot and was forced to take his own life after a brief exchange of gunfire with security officers. Your wife is sure to get a job now! Good job!
—from Clay's Failbook | ||
Conspiracy
There is a conspiracy theory surrounding the story that says Clay was actually firing blanks (in more than one way), and the security guard was the one who actually killed him. Another conspiracy theory is that he was a /b/tard, due to his fondness for Alan Moore comics.
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 0/20 NOBODY DIED LOL |
|---|---|
| Accuracy: | 0/20 DIDN'T EVEN HIT ANYBODY LOL |
| Style: | 5/20 Tried to shoot up a school board meeting. |
| Butthurt: | 0/20 Nobody cared |
| Bonus: | 0/20 K-D went negative. |
Wanted Level:
Karen
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