London Bridge Attack 2017
A sequel to Khalid Masood's Westminster motor massacre, coming just hot on the heels of the successful Ariana Grande Massacre as well as the not quite as successful Stockholm Truck Attack 2017. Three sand niggers decided to take the Euro Truck Simulator DLC to England, by using a van to plough through a lot of Britbongs, as well as being so integrated they went all stabby-stabby as well, making this the first DLC with more than driving. They managed to injure a whopping 48, while only killing 7, including themselves.
Why Does This Keep Happening?
At this point it's really hard to keep ignoring the Muslim in the room and that's a large part of the problem. Cracker ass white folk of the liberal persuasion have this self-entitled, self-superior mentality that they're going to somehow "fix" Muslims, that they're going to, essentially, "culturally appropriate" their savage sandnigger religion that's barely even out of the bronze age and convert it into a bastard child of 3rd wave feminism and Bernie's senile socialism.
Suffice it to say, this is basically the equivalent of trying to get rid of a hornet invasion by stuffing your hand directly into the nest and flailing about wildly hoping the enraged swarm will see you as their savior and start a "let's all be friends" cuddle puddle!
This is the problem with liberals in general, who have no shortage of "good intentions", but completely lack the experience and understanding to extrapolate how those "good intentions" can go horrifically wrong to bring about some of the absolute WORST situations imaginable, paving the proverbial road right on into Hell itself, or London, as the case presently is.
Don't worry though, they're not done! The angry swarm of sandniggers are just getting started and they will not stop. You let them into your countries by the tens of thousands, thinking you could convert them, but it's going to be the other way around. They will burn your every "good intention" to the ground and stab relentlessly into the heart of your "I'm helping!" head trip.
Perpetrators
At least 3 sand niggers.
Attack
Unlike previous games, you can now leave your van to go out and stab innocent people to rake up that kill score.
Conspiracy!
Bridges are important in Freemasonry, since they signify passing from darkness to enlightenment. Also, the well-known nursery rhyme about "London Bridge is Falling Down" is a reference to the ancient practice of sacrificing humans to ensure the stability of a building. All the evidence points to the Freemasons, therefore the Jews did it.
Government reaction
Before the last shreds of tattered flesh had spattered upon London's pavements like a handful of raspberry-flavoured Angel Delight being thrown through a malfunctioning office fan, that dead-eyed old sow Theresa May had come up with a fully formulated three-step plan to prevent further outrages.
- Abolish internet privacy
- Watch in satisfaction as terrorism suddenly stops happening
- Actually, it's only two steps
But to be honest, Nanny May is so obsessed with the internet that she probably blames it when she overboils her breakfast eggs. And it probably helps that most of her voters are senior citizens who have never used the internet and believe it to be a form of demonic possession. Where they get this impression is unknown.
Graded Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kill count: | 4/20 (and 48 injured) |
| Accuracy: | 3/20 |
| Style: | 5/20 Sequel with a small twist |
| Butthurt: | 7/20 London's Mayor is a Mudslime himself |
| Bonus: | 3/20 Van |
| Total score: 22/100 (F) | |
Wanted Level:
___________________
|
___________________
|
Do you have any idea
why I've stopped you, sir?
See Also
- Londonistan
- Breitscheidplatz
- Nice Truck Attack 2016
- Stockholm Truck Attack 2017
- Khalid Masood's Westminster motor massacre
- United Kingdom
- Sand niggers
- Islam
- ISIS
| Featured article June 3 & June 4, 2017 | ||
| Preceded by BlueCatRiolu |
London Bridge Attack 2017 | Succeeded by The Asylum |