Wade Michael Page

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Wade Michael Page
Born November 11, 1971
Died August 5, 2012 (aged 40)
Nationality Americunts 
Occupation Music
High Score Killed 7, injured 3
Top 50? Nope
Style Single player, FPS
An hero? Glock mouthwash
Motive(s) White supremacy


Wade Michael Page was an heroic neo-Nazi MySpace band member, notable for shooting up a Sikh temple and killing at least five Islam terrorists, cleverly disguised as Sikhs. Although he tried to clear the world of Sikhs mistaken for Muslims, all he really did was rid the world of another neo-Nazi MySpace band after an heroing. And nothing of value was lost.


Background

After further investigation, the feds discovered that he was a former sergeant of the US Army (who, by the way, had shitloads of tattoos in his arms, most of them depicting 9/11 and racist symbols), and had a brilliant career while repairing Hawk missiles before proceeding to perform Psy Ops in Texas. Afterwards, he was stripped of all rank and told to GTFO the Army for bad behaviour. He discovered metal music and learned to express his thoughts concerning the Islamic faith, which is, according to him, "a vehicle for hypcocrisy and tirany" [sic]. Thus, he founded End Apathy, his very own band.

*

Use scrollbar to see the full image

Screencap of the band's MySpace page

Shooting

Deeply stored evilness is evident.

He suddenly felt the need to expose a dread truth to the world. Those Muslims were pretending to be pacifists... but, deep inside, he knew that they did 9/11. So he refreshed his army skills and grabbed the nearest 9mm handgun, because gunfire is always the most reasonable method of reaffirming white supremacy

On August 5th, 2012 around 10 a.m., Page had finally had enough of the putrid, shit-inducing, smell of Indian food that filled the beautiful Wisconsin air that fine morning. Grabbing the nearest boomstick, Wade decided to follow the golden path laid by the many an heroes that had come before him. Page made haste to the nearest hotbed for Islam terrorism, the local Sikh temple. This hardcore motherfucker was ready to bust up in that bitch and make his attempt to beat the high score. Wade managed to kill only 7 people Indians, all over age of 40, and only one woman. Needless to say, Pedobear didn't give a fuck.

At this point, the mods showed up with hard ons in hand to Party Van his skinhead ass. Knowing this, W.M.P. readied his gat to to take down any challenger. The challenger came in the form Brian Murphy, a street-smart, hard-boiled cop, who didn't take shit from nobody. Adolf Jr. then proceeded to shoot Murphy not once, not twice, but TWELVE FUCKING TIMES!!!!1!!!!!1. Either Murphy got shot in both feet 7.5 times or he's the FUCKING TERMINATOR because that bastard would not die. Perhaps if Mr.Page would have taken some time off from being a Nazi fuckface and took a break from playing that shitty, terrible, ass bleeding, "music", then he might have learned that even in Cocks of Doodie you still have to aim for the fucking head. After dishing out much win, Wade was shot in his stomach by a sick, sadistic, twisted pig who obviously wanted to see him FINISH HIMself. The sick fuck saw his dream come true when Page had decided that all the lulz had been had and it was time to log out IRL. By the way, most of this shit was caught on tape and was just recently released by the sick fucks at the Oak Creek Police Department probably deliberately to give ED some visual Viagra.

An hero? Or not An hero. That is the question.

While first reported by the news that the always protectin', always servin' Oak Creek PD had in fact pwned Page, the kind, loving people that brought you Waco, Ruby Ridge, Timothy McVeigh, and John F. Kennedy have said that he took the Cobain way out after being shot in the arm by the pigs. This is highly probable, but one must nevar trust The Man.

Loadout

Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: 9mm Springfield XD semi-automatic pistol
  • + Military XP
    10-20 Damage
  • Spell: Nazi
  • Double damage against Muslims, Americans, non-Aryans and Jews.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 7/20 (3 injured)
Accuracy: 10/20 That army training was a waste of time
Style: 10/20 Generic shootout
Butthurt: 10/20 No one cares; mass shootings happen daily now
Bonus: 15/20 Trolled India hard, somehow
Total Score: 52/100 (F)
Breivik would be ashamed!
See full ranking


Wanted Level:

Police Force


See Also

External links

Wikipedia article Mirror of the End Apathy MySpace page

Wade Michael Page
is part of a series on
An Heroes

[iPod][Xbox]
Died Alone

Aaron BushnellAaron HowardAaron SwartzAcidChanAdam LanzaAdolf HitlerAlan TuringAlexis PilkingtonAmanda ToddAn HaloAndrea PignaniAndrew KehoeAndrew KoenigAnton Lundin-PetterssonAnthony WarnerArtyom KazantsevAsa CoonAugust AmesBen VoddenBob8466Brandon CleggBrandon CrispBrandon HoleBrenda WilliamsBrigit GonzalezBroadt LedetBruce PardoBubba CopelandBudd DwyerCandyJunkieArcan CetinCharles BishopCharmaine DragunChloe SagalChris BenoitChris DornerChristine ChubbuckChristopher FosterChris Harper-MercerCho Seung-HuiClay DukeCodey PorterDavid RitchesonDerrick BirdDevin KelleyDustin MichaelsLOLumbineElliot RodgerEmma JonesLOLumbineEtikaEuler GrandolphoGeorge HennardGeorge SodiniGizgizHannah BondHeath LedgerHunter S. ThompsonIsrael KeyesJake RobertsJames LeshkevichJarrad WillisJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJenny GrantJewWarioThe Binghamton Tet OffensiveJodie Gater and Stephanie GestierJoe StackJohn HouserJonathan Kendrick LewisJosé BettsJürgen ConingsKevin Neil WhitrickKlerckKurt CobainLeelah AlcornLivecorpseLowtaxMatthias SchoormannMario FerreyraMarvin HeemeyerMcSkilletMegan MeierMercedes HerreraMia JaninMitchell HendersonMr. HandsMatti SaariJosh BallardNathaniel BerhowNghtmrchld26Nikita LytkinPorsche GirlOldDirtyBtardOtoya YamaguchiPanya KhamrabPaula GoodspeedPekka-Eric AuvinenPetri GerdtPhilip MarkoffQuentin HubbardRachele RuddRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRichard JeniRina PalenkovaRobert CardRobert HawkinsRobin WilliamsRonnie McNuttRudolph ZurickRyan PalmeterSadie DavilaAriana Grande MassacreSam LeesonShane HalliganShaun DykesShawn WoolleyShayShuaibySol PaisAn HeroineStephen KazmierczakStephen HuffStiletto oneLOLympic GamesTatiana the TigerTempleOSThe An Heroes of BridgendTim KretschmerTimothy HendronTony48219Tyler ClementiTyler DumstorfTyler PetersonVerne TroyerWilliam Atchison

Failures

Aaron AlexisAdf-fuensalidaAhuviya HarelAlek MinassianAmber ButtrumAmy BishopAnton BichivinAriana RaykottoAudrey HaleAydin PaladinBernie MadoffBrandon ClarkBrenda SpencerBrian ClydeBrian ConnorsBrook HigginsCampo DelgadoCharles ZieseCobanermani456Colonel McBadassCrystal ShinkleDavid GrayDeWayne CraddockDimitrios PagourtzisDmitry VinogradovDylann RoofGabe ParkerGeorge StinneyHugo JacksonIlnaz GalyavievImma-The-DeerJakrapanth ThommaJames HubertyJamethJarrod RamosJeffree MoonJessica EvertJonathan RossJoseph CampJustin-anonLindsay SouvannarathLolo FerrariMamoru TakumaMartin BryantMary BellMichael CarnealMichael GimsonMissyMychal BellNeograntNikkineko333Marjory Stoneman Douglas School ShootingNoah EsbensenNuzzieKomaOwen WilsonPikacat39PogoRooRainBoy107Richard ReidRandan FontaineRex FowlerRobert CrimoRobert LongSalvador RamosShaan SinghShinji AobaSienna JohnsonSirtom93SneakylizardStephen FryTakeShotActionTimur BekmansurovTJ LaneToaster SteveTom PrestonTooDamnFilthyTumbles the StairdragonViper

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Wade Michael Page is part of a series on Psychopath
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Spree/One-time Killers:

Aaron AlexisAdam LanzaAlex HribalAlyssa BustamanteAudrey HaleBruce Jeffrey PardoCasey AnthonyCho Seung-HuiDylan KleboldDylann Storm RoofEric HarrisGerry McCannJames HolmesJared Lee LoughnerJason RodriguezJeff WeiseJiverly VoongJoe StackJosef FritzlLaaiti EkenstéenMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMatthew MurrayMatti SaariMaurice ClemmonsPekka-Eric AuvinenRaoul MoatRichard SpeckRobert HawkinsTim KretschmerTJ LaneTyler PetersonWade Michael PageWoo Bum-kon

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Academy ManiacsAdolf HitlerCharles MansonChris BenoitWJack the RipperJeffrey DahmerMao ZedongRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed Bundy

Terrorists:

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