Frat boy
Frat boys are usually former jocks or rednecks that occupy space in a college. Often, these dumb bastards think college is just like Animal House. The jocks no longer work out and usually let themselves go. This is due to the fact that their football days are over. The rednecks do the same thing they did in high school. Frat boys tend to be massive douchebags and pedophiles, as they still creep around their high schools to pick up that underage pussy. The common frat boy tends to gravitate towards groups of like minded people called fraternities. They usually say they're going out to drink with their bros, but in actuality, there's loads of gay sex happening in the fraternity house. Every once in a while, there may be heterosexual sex. But most frat boys know that's a cover for when the chicks and the nerds come around. Because let's face it, bro! They're totally not gay!
In the College Setting
The average frat boy tends to follow the same habits in the college classroom as he did in the high school class room. They fall asleep in class. They force the nerd in the class to do their homework, although they now have to pay the nerd for the work now. And also, they still manage to somehow offend every serious female student in the required sexual education class. However, in college, your professor gives less of a shit than your average teacher. Mom and Dad have no influence on the professor, as he's getting paid regardless of whether or not the frat boy actually pays attention to him. Frat boys usually end up costing their parents lots of money, as the retard can't figure out remedial Algebra or Computer Science III to save his own life.
Usually, the frat boy will either spend two years in college after his parents figure out all he's doing is drinking and fucking. Usually, the fact that the frat boy is drinking Dad out of his sugar daddy funds for his secretary helps... Or, the other end of the spectrum, the frat boy will spend eight years in college only to get a general education degree and still end up in the same boat as the frat boy who's parents abandoned ship at two years. Although, these frat boy parents are thousands more in the hole with a fatter basement dweller.
Frat Boys after college
Frat boys have very few options after college . They have to deal with the fact that they've wasted all the money they received off of mom and dad. This leaves them unprepared for the job world. While you actually can flip a burger at Burger King, frat boys don't even know how to punch into the time clock. Which leaves them with...
- Having Dad put them into a job that could go to a more qualified and deserving worker.
- Being forced to push buggies at Wal-Mart for minimum wages, as that's all their former muscular body is capable of.
- Become a drug dealer.
- Sell moonshine
Seeing those first two options at hand usually drives the frat boys into a deep depression wondering what went wrong with their lives, not realizing that they are the thing that went wrong with their lives. At this point, the frat boy then starts to look for a way out of the life of no money and manual labor. This leads them all the way to option number three, even with a lack of true math skills.
Future as a drug dealer
Seeing as the frat boy doesn't have true math skills, it's easy to outwit this retard if you're needing your glaucoma medication. In fact, the frat boy drug dealer considers everyone his bro, for now. This career path is usually one year in length, as the dumb shit either realizes that he's underselling his product, or he eventually gets shot by his competition.
If this genius survives his first year, he'll realize he needs to get into a drug he actually knows. Steroids. In fact, the frat boy is quite knowledgable about this wonder drug, as he's used it quite a bit to make it into high school football. However, he realizes he'll have to work with someone a bit more knowledgable with drugs... A doctor, who is usually the teammate from high school who actually didn't waste his time drinking and fucking. Yet, he still considers the frat boy a bro. Hilarity ensues.
The redneck frat boy's future
This version of the frat boy usually falls in a straight path. Comes back home, fucks his cousin, and settles back in with ma and pa into the moonshining business. This frat boy usually doesn't get arrested in his home state, because everyone is a raging alcoholic. In other words, sometimes it's better to be a hillbilly...
Identifying a frat boy
- Wearing Abercrombie and Fitch, after most high school people stopped
- Wearing Aeropostale, after most in high school have stopped.
- Popped collars
- Baseball caps
- Khaki pants or ripped jeans
- Growing beer gut from Pabst Blue Ribbon
- Totally hot girl on his arm
- Aviator sunglasses
The Gallery of Brotastic Proportions
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What frat boys think college is.
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What they do every night.
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So, we drinka the beer and sucka the cock?
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The girls are in danger.
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Totally not gay.
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See, the prisoners know who to rape.
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All in the name of brotherhood.
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What eventually happens after binge drinking for 4 years.
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If you're lucky, this happens after 2 years.
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Just posing, man!
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This man is who's dick you need to suck to get in.
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No, bro. You're supposed to hold in the gay!
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Fraternity bonding time.
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We're totally not gay.
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So brotastic
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Just checking it out, no homo.
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Frat boys in music?
Why yes, there are frat boys in music. And usually it's the ones you think they are. In fact, see below:
- Nickelback
- Fat Larry's Band
- Hot Action Cop
- Eminem
- Backstreet Boys
- Kings of Leon
- R. Kelly
As you can tell, the whole frat boy culture is not gay.
See Also
External Links
- Someone asked on Yahoo! - The answers are not shocking.
- Ask A Repressed Homosexual - Because they have to look totally not gay.
- Salon pointing out the obvious. - They do become conservatards.
- The Pikes - Notorious for rape and racism.
- Sigma Phi Epsilon - The "gentlemen" of the fraternities, mostly repressed homosexuals.
- Sigma Nu - The fraternity of the Asperger's Syndrome.
- Kappa Sigma - No actual creed, they just get drunk.
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Frat boy is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article May 1 and 2, 2013 | ||
| Preceded by BioShock Infinite |
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