Lyor Cohen
Lyor "Liar" Cohen✡ (הומוחמדן) is was the Final Boss of the Internet of Warner Music Group aka WMG and every douche move perpetrated by the music business on the hapless fan and music consumer.
As chief Grinch Jew in charge at WMG he is the overlord of a troll organisation dedicated to making your Internets experience less enjoyable by filing moar frivolous DMCA takedown notices on YouTube than Kimmo Johan Alm and the $cientology combined. If this malcontent shit eater has his way, surfing the net will forever more feel like licking the inside of Deeker's diaper.
Warner Music -who once brought us many great artists and music through their Atlantic, Elektra and Warner Bros. labels- now relies totally on income derived from Fat Larry's Band and ringtones. And Green Day ringtones. And this is all thanks to Lyor Cohen who wouldn't know good music if other labels weren't chasing it.
In fact, WMG is so hard up that they make all the new acts they sign turn over a percentage of things that were traditionally off-limits to the labels; things like merchandise, concert revenue, sponsorship deals and require that an artist hand over control to all their OTI content, including (but not limited to) their websites and MySpaces. So much for the pirate credo of supporting their fave bands outside of the record company loop after downloading the album for free. WMG will still get paid...one way or another.
Docs
If you would like to let Lyor Cohen know how you feel about his douchebaggery, feel free to email him at [email protected] or call him at (917) 627-9185. His current address is 1 E. 94th Street, New York, NY 10012 although he is trying to sell it. The phone number for that property is listed as (212) 744-4004.
Cohen makes $5,000,000 a year (not including stock options and bonuses) to harass the Internets. Mind you, since he took the company public in 2004, the stock has plummeted from an IPO of about $25 a share down to its current low of $4.96 so whatever he hasn't already cashed out isn't worth shit. In fact, Lyor Cohen is probably the only company on the stock exchange that would see their share price rise rather than fall if it was rumored that CEO was dying of cancer.
He also has an ego the size of an Xbox and Unwarranted Self-Importance levels that are overshadowed only by the music business' biggest attention whore, P Diddy. He even has a Failbook 'fan' page despite the fact that he's computer and Internets illiterate.
WMG's Finest Moment
Not satisfied with pwning music, WMG went above and beyond the call of douche duty by having YouTube disable the audio on a vidya of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s seminal civil rights "I have a dream" speech. This is pretty hilarious considering that Liar Cohen's personal fortune of over $500,000,000 was made off of exploiting black music when he was at DefJam with Russell Simmons. Butthurt ensued.
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WMG's Other Finest Moment
After about 4 years and 8,473,342 views, Cohen -a money grubbing 50-year-old wigger (aka The King of Ringtones)- decided to ruin everybody's fun by slapping a DMCA on a totally innocuous use of some crap music they own on a 3 minute Sesame Street vidya Mahnahmahnah!, the use of which was obviously costing them millions of dollars of Jew Golds on the sales of this classic, hit single.
The 16-year-old girl tuber, funkeemunky, nonetheless decided to keep the vidya up (despite having the audio actually stripped from the video so that you can't even listen to it if you download it to your compy) for the lulz and to show the world what a bunch of incredible douchebags WMG are.
Bombarded with requests for the flv of the original content for personal use, funkeemunky made a vidya response explaining that she no longer had it and even if she did, it would be pointless since uploading it again would simply bring the WMG vultures swooping down to ræp it again.
WMG and Patriotism
Apparently, WMG shows the utmost honor and the highest appreciation and gratitude to those who serve their country and fight to protect the freedom and liberty America stands for, as demonstrated by this video, which has had its audio stripped due to copyright ownership of a well-known military song that happened to be owned by WMG. Of course, since Lyor Cohen is a pseudo Jew he wouldn't know squat about service to ones country since he dodged the mandatory military service that is required of all Israelis by living in America his whole life, preferring to let young Americans die in defense of his homeland.
WMG Creates Irony
Lyor Cohen also snatched the audio from a George Carlin standup where he explains how the evil corporations are the ones who really run America. This drove the YouTube conspiracy theorists off the wall, many of them saying that WMG is trying to prevent you from hearing something that everyone should know already, anyway. Carlin is famous for his hilarious skit "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television". Those words are Shit, Piss, Secks, Vagoo, Unfunny, Motherfucker and Tits. You can bet your bottom dollar that if Carlin was alive today he would call Cohen a "Motherfucking cocksucker cunt he would like to fuck in the ass and shit and piss all over. Also, tits (always relevant)."
Internet Reaction
When the butthurt denizens of the Internet caught wind of this faggerydaggerydoo, they sprang into action and in a pique of rage, set Anonymous off into raid mode and initiated Operation Warner Music Must Die commented, blogged and vlogged about it.
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Besides this, Warners has a long standing special relationship with YouTube users who send them vidya valentines on a regular basis.
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There are also several hundred anti-WMG groups and pages on Bookface. Take yer pick. Peeps be p. mad.
Search Engine Faggotry
As of last Thursday, this page has been banished from the Internets after Liar Cohen rubbed his foreskin wallet and turned it into a briefcase of Jew Gold for The Google to sanitize all search results pointing to this article on ED. Even using Google's 1337 advanced site search site:encyclopediadramatica.rs + WMG, site:encyclopediadramatica.rs + "Warner Music Group", site:encyclopediadramatica.rs + "Lyor Cohen" didn't work, shitting out a handful of random links and an EDF post about WMG faggotry but no direct hits for this page or any of the related redirects WMG, Warner Music or Warner Music Group.
This is hypocritical since Google just spent the past two months screaming "foul" with regards to China and the proposed United States of Australia Internets filter The Great eBarrier Reef. However, this is hardly new, Google having raped ED before at the bidding of Aboriginal and Randi Harper. This current rape, though, is a lot moar thorough, pwning ED from Bing and Yahoo! too.
A complaint has been lodged. Funnily enough, the complaint did show up in Google until some censorfag at google deleted it. Then, 3 days later...it suddenly reappeared! As did this complaint and this one
After two months of paying off Jewgle, Cohen finally stopped writing checks and this article magically re-appeared in search results.
Wiki Edit Drama
Lyor Cohen is so obsessed with his "legacy", he frequently has his lackeys at WMG monitor his Wikipedia page for anything remotely unflattering and baleet it. Since this giant douche is a major league sleaze who associates with known criminals (as well as slightly less criminal drug dealers, gun runners and gangsta rap thugs), there's a lot of dirt out there that he doesn't want people and his girlfriend to see. The following was removed from his Wikipedia page and after a month-long edit war finally managed to keep it out due to expired links for 'credible' citations. There was also a fairly lulzy 'debate' over the removal of the picture atop this very page.
As a public service, and in ED's time-honored tradition of Mediacrat, we are delighted to just leave this here.
Sleaze Highlights
What follows is only a sample of general scummy behavior by Cohen in a multimillion dollar industry where profit comes before all else...especially things like integrity, truth and general decency. This is especially true when you choose to do business with young thugs with foul mouths and even fouler extracurricular activities such as drug dealing, gun-running and murder all for the sake of extracting Jew Gold from rich vein of the drama generating genre of rap.
Unlike the Handegg which has a strict policy and code of conduct regarding rules and regulations for those who suit-up under the league's brand name and logo, major labels do not give a flying fuck if you're a baby killing pedo Nigger with a mile long rap sheet if you will sell records to enrich their coffers and enable their execs to live like kings. The NFL will permab& you for things condoned by the major labels -things such as cruelty to animals, packing heat, drug dealing and rape. Meanwhile, the major labels will pamper and protect you if you're a scumbag and even go to the wall for you if you end up in court.
Lyor Cohen and WMG is hardly unique in this but he specializes in gangsta rap even to the extent where he actually considers himself str8 gangsta and plays the part of a cartel boss who lives by the Wu Tang credo of C.R.E.A.M. -Cash Rules Everything Around Me. Here's a taste:
[[Expand Me]]
Murder Inc. Records Raid
In 2001, Cohen was given the nickname Lansky (after the notorious Jewish gangster Meyer Lansky) by Irv Gotti in recognition for his partnership and place on the board of directors when the two went into business together forming Murder Inc. Records (named after the original Prohibition era gangsters Murder Inc.).
Cohen provided Gotti $2,000,000 in 'seed' money to start operations and the label with office space in his Manhattan headquarters. This later came under the scrutiny of federal authorities when Murder Inc. Records and Cohen's Island Def Jam was raided by a joint task force of the NYPD and the Party Van as part of a federal probe of label founder's ties to drug lord Kenneth "Supreme" McGriff drug trafficking, money laundering, and gang activities. Of particular interest to authorities was a payment from Cohen of $500,000 to a company fronted by McGriff, ostensibly for a soundtrack that was never delivered for McGriff's film adaptation of Donald Goines' Crime Partners which he had optioned.
Cohen was eventually absolved of any involvement in the scandal, even after he claimed under oath that he couldn’t identify his position with Murder Inc. Records. When asked if he sat with Gotti on the executive board of Murder Inc., Cohen replied “Im not sure.” And once again, the slippery Jew escaped with his pouch of Jew Gold intact.
The Kenneth "Supreme" McGriff Murder Trial
He was later asked by Kenneth "Supreme" McGriff to be a witness at his February 2007 murder trial. Ironically, persistent rumours have it that it was McGriff who contracted the execution of Cohen's friend and former client Jam Master Jay of Run DMC for working with 50 Cents, breaking McGriff's boycott on working with a rapper he accused of revealing too much about McGriff's drug business.
The TVT Records Lawsuit
In 2002, Cohen was personally sued for fraud, tortious interference, breach of contract and copyright infringement by TVT Records as part of a larger action against Island Def Jam Music Group and Universal Music Group alleging that Cohen tried to hinder the production and release of an album by Ja Rule's group, the Cash Money Click (a.k.a. CMC). The defendants were initially ordered to pay TVT $132 million in compensatory and punitive damages, with $56 million due personally from Cohen, but on appeal that figure was reduced to $53 million, with $3 million due personally from Cohen.
The U.S. District Court Judge who reduced the damages, Victor Marrero, commented that the defendants were "morally reprehensible" and noted "inconsistencies" in Cohen's testimony. However, in 2005 the jury's decision against Cohen and Def Jam was overturned by a federal appeals court panel of the Second Circuit Court of Appeals, which ruled that the allegations by TVT "lacked 'legally sufficient' evidence". Once again, the slippery Jew escaped with his bag of Jew Gold intact.
During the course of the appeals, additional controversy arose with the sale of the Phat Farm clothing company. Cohen was partners with Russell Simmons with a 16.6% stake in Phat Farm, which he had valued at $5.5 million in a financial statement during the TVT lawsuit. When the company sold for $140 million, Cohen reportedly received more than $20 million for his share, prompting allegations by TVT lawyers that he had intentionally misrepresented his net worth to reduce his damages owed.
P. Diddy
In 2002, Sean "P Diddy" Combs accused Cohen of "attempting to steal" best-selling R&B artists 112 from his Bad Boy Records label, stating that he was "shocked" by such a move from "someone who I considered a close friend for 15 years". In 2003, Combs and Cohen announced a joint venture to handle 112 and Foxy Brown. At that time, Combs said that his personal relationship with Cohen mattered more "than a minor business dispute". In 2005, Combs and Cohen entered into a working relationship at Lyor Cohen.
Jason Flom
In August, 2005, Cohen fired Jason Flom, the co-chairman and CEO of Atlantic Records, by asking him to meet him at Los Angeles International Airport where he handed Flom a press release detailing his "resignation" and telling him, "You're finished!"
T.I.'s Bail Hearing
In October, 2007, Cohen appeared as a character witness in the bail hearing for Atlantic Records' rapper T.I. who was arrested earlier that month for possession of three unregistered machine guns and two silencers, and possession of firearms by a convicted felon.
In Rap
- On Mos Def's 2004 song "The Ræp Over," he references Cohen stating: "some tall Jew is running this rap shit."
- On the 1990 3rd Bass release "The Gas Face", Lyor was made fun of in the end of the track as 3rd Bass shouted out names of who "gets the Gas Face". He was referred to as "Elroy" Cohen.
- In a 2003 interview, rapper Bumpy Knuckles claimed the biggest mistake of his career was not breaking Lyor Cohen's jaw when he had the opportunity.
See Also
- Atlantic Records
- DMCA
- RIAA
- Copyright
- Operation DMCA Lyor Cohen
- Lyor Cohen on Wikipedia. Plox ræp.
External Links
- liarcohen@shitter
- Lyor Cohen @MySpazz
- Lyor Cohen Failbook 'Fan' Page
- Lyor Cohen's $28M NYC Townhouse
- Warner's chief admits his kids stole music.
- YouTube Users Lash Out At Warner Music (And Google) With Protest Videos
- ED's own Killhamster's WMG beef on EDF
- Lyor Cohen: The real Slim Shady.
- Fuck WMG Facebook page
- WMG Sucks Facebook page
- The FuckWMGMovement on YouTube
- Anti-Warner HQ on YouTube
- WMG stock
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Lyor Cohen is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |
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Lyor Cohen is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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| Featured article June 9, 2010 | ||
| Preceded by McDojo |
Lyor Cohen | Succeeded by Isabella Valentine |
| Featured article September 25 & 26, 2012 (disambiguation) | ||
| Preceded by Soulbonding |
Lyor Cohen | Succeeded by Iran |