Mike Huckabee: Difference between revisions

Huckabee has been seen in the media as a complete and total [[dumbass]]. Like most [[Attention whore|politicians]], he feels this is a good sign for him because it means that he is a [[pretty cool guy|viable candidate]]. Unlike most [[Attention whore|politicians]], he is seen as being [[Idiot|dumb as a bag of bricks]] causing [[fail]] and epic [[lulz]]. A late entrant to the [[Republican]] race, Huckabee only came in as a double [[fucktard]], having been pulled out of the hat to get votes by stealing selected policies from [[Ron Paul]] without stating his own real point: he [[hate]]s [[Catholics]] almost as much as [[Mormon]]s and the [[ZOG]] needed him for that reason.  

{{quote|Suddenly, I seem to be in the cross hairs of every predator who is out there," "As a hunter, I know that a good hunter never aims his gun at a dead carcass. You only point it at something you want to put on the wall as a trophy.|Newest Trophy For the [[Lulz]].}}

=== The AIDS ===

In 1992 Huckabee filled out a [[TL;DR|229 questionnaire]] where he promptly made it into his own old media blog/manifesto by [[Pwnt|bitch slapping the shit]] out of Elizabeth Taylor and [[Madonna]] by saying they should [[GTFO|come up with the money themselves]] for The Gay Plague.  He also recommended that anyone who even remotely looked like they might have a lesion be quarantined, causing Brooke Shields to hide her mole in terror.

{{quote|Medical protocol typically says that if you have a disease for which there is no cure, and you are uncertain about the transmission of it, then the first thing you do is that you quarantine or isolate carriers.|Mike Huckabee – Stupid is as stupid does since 1985.}}

{{quote|If I were making those same comments today, I might make them a little differently.|Mike Huckabee.  Forgetting to say that Madonna's music stunk in 1992.}}

===[[Necrophilia]]===

{{quote|It is now difficult to keep track of the vast array of '''publicly endorsed''' and '''institutionally supported''' aberrations—from homosexuality and pedophilia to sadomasochism and '''necrophilia'''.|[http://www.motherjones.com/washington_dispatch/2007/12/huckabee-homosexuality-environmentalism-book.html The Huckster]}}

=== [[Terrorist|Foreigners]] ===

'''December:''' When questioned about an [[Oxymoron|intelligence report]] in [[Iran]] that was all over the news, blogs, and tattooed on the ass of [[Condoleezza Rice|Condi Rice]] for the world to see, Mike Huckabee seems to have missed it.

{{quote|It would have been nice had someone been able to first say, 'here's some things that are going on, that are taking place,'" "That didn't happen...|Mike Huckabee.  [[Cycle of Blame|Throwing his Staff under the bus]] .}}

'''I know nothing about no other [http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/12/12/politics/main3612914.shtml religion]'''

{{quote|attacking someone's religion is really going too far.|Huckabee.  Pwn’d going too far.}}

=== The Constitution ===

   

{{quote|(Some of my opponents) do not want to change the Constitution, but I believe it's a lot easier to change the constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God, and that's what we need to do is to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards,.|Huckabee.  Fuck, he's nuts!}}

== The Huckster ==

=== Huckabee as [[Anonymous|Lulz Killer]] ===

As clearly evidenced by the fact that there is no ED article for fucking [http://www.bobnewhart.com/ Bob Newhart].

== Mike Huckabee presidential campaign, 2008 ==

=== Endorsements ===

He got the call from [[Chuck Norris]], thereby classifying his entire candidacy as [[old meme]].  Fortunately, Huckabee's [[The Colbert Report|fart jokes]] appeal to a segment of the population broadly overlapping with Chuck Norris Fact enthusiasts. This is ironic, considering that while Huckabee has the guy who stared in "Missing in Action," [[John McCain]] actually WAS fucking missing in action.

On January 3rd, 2008, Huckabee won the Iowa Caucus. This just proves that half the [[fag|voters]] in Iowa are afraid of getting the shit kicked out of them by Chuck Norris and/or [[God|Gawd]]. The other half are too afraid to *not* vote for either [[dyke|Hillary]] or black person.

He was stunned to find out that the former New York mayor was not a registered voter in New Hampshire.

=== Things that make Huckabee Cry ===

* [[AIDS]]

* [[Fags|Gays]]

* A nekkid [[Hillary Clinton]]

* A nekkid [[Ron Paul]]

=== What to do if you meet Mike ===

*Tell him he's a commie.

*Ask him if he lost weight on Ayds.

{{Politics}}

{{Christianity}}

[[Category:People|Huckabee, Mike]]