Mike Huckabee: Difference between revisions
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=== The AIDS === | === The AIDS === | ||
[[Image:Huckabee-questionaire-3.jpg|thumb ]] | [[Image:Huckabee-questionaire-3.jpg|thumb ]] | ||
Huckabee has earned the support of many [[Nigra| | Huckabee has earned the support of many [[Nigra|African Americans]] by suggesting in the early 1990s that AIDS patients should be quarantined to keep it from spreading. This position got many public pools in Arkansas closed, angering the [[butthurt]]s at [[Habbo]]. | ||
In 1992 Huckabee filled out a [[TL;DR|229 questionnaire]] where he promptly made it into his own old media blog/manifesto by [[Pwnt|bitch slapping the shit]] out of Elizabeth Taylor and [[Madonna]] by saying they should [[GTFO|come up with the money themselves]] for The Gay Plague. He also recommended that anyone who even remotely looked like they might have a lesion be quarantined, causing Brooke Shields to hide her mole in terror. | In 1992 Huckabee filled out a [[TL;DR|229 questionnaire]] where he promptly made it into his own old media blog/manifesto by [[Pwnt|bitch slapping the shit]] out of Elizabeth Taylor and [[Madonna]] by saying they should [[GTFO|come up with the money themselves]] for The Gay Plague. He also recommended that anyone who even remotely looked like they might have a lesion be quarantined, causing Brooke Shields to hide her mole in terror. | ||
Unfortunately for him this was 1992, where everyone with a working brain stem and a copy of [[Old media|Time | Unfortunately for him this was 1992, where everyone with a working brain stem and a copy of ''[[Old media|Time]]'' knew that [[AIDS|The Gay Plague]] was not an airborne disease. [[Bullshit|This fine manuscript]] laid dormant for [[At least 100 years ago|at least hundred years]] until [[Basement-dweller|someone with unlimited time]] "[[Google|found]]" it in December of 2007 (i.e, right before the Iowa Caucus and primary voting began, what a coincidence): | ||
{{quote|Medical protocol typically says that if you have a disease for which there is no cure, and you are uncertain about the transmission of it, then the first thing you do is that you quarantine or isolate carriers.|Mike Huckabee – Stupid is as stupid does since 1985.}} | {{quote|Medical protocol typically says that if you have a disease for which there is no cure, and you are uncertain about the transmission of it, then the first thing you do is that you quarantine or isolate carriers.|Mike Huckabee – Stupid is as stupid does since 1985.}} | ||
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{{quote|If I were making those same comments today, I might make them a little differently.|Mike Huckabee. Forgetting to say that Madonna's music stunk in 1992.}} | {{quote|If I were making those same comments today, I might make them a little differently.|Mike Huckabee. Forgetting to say that Madonna's music stunk in 1992.}} | ||
While this strategy is surely great for fighting the ever inevitable [[zombie]] outbreak, the only way to fight | While this strategy is surely great for fighting the ever inevitable [[zombie]] outbreak, the only way to fight AIDS is to use a condom, or close your damn legs. | ||
===[[Necrophilia]]=== | ===[[Necrophilia]]=== | ||
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===The rest=== | ===The rest=== | ||
Mike Huckabee was the last major GOP primary candidate to drop out. Huckabee won a small handful of states, but nothing | Mike Huckabee was the last major GOP primary candidate to drop out. Huckabee won a small handful of states, but nothing too important. After Mitt Romney exited, Huckabee insisted he could win in a head-to-head against John McCain, but got slaughtered by double digits (51.22% to 38.02%) in his last stand state of Texas (which also gave McCain enough delegates to guarantee his nomination), and promptly dropped out after that. | ||
== Mike Huckabee trivia == | == Mike Huckabee trivia == | ||
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[[Image:Huckabee nine.jpg|thumb|Has nine fingers - ''told to him by his staff''.]] | [[Image:Huckabee nine.jpg|thumb|Has nine fingers - ''told to him by his staff''.]] | ||
* [[AIDS]] | * [[AIDS]] | ||
* Black people (YES THAT MEANS YOU MJ!) | * [[Nigger|Black people]] (YES THAT MEANS YOU MJ!) | ||
* [[Fred Thompson]] | * [[Fred Thompson]] | ||
* [[Fags|Gays]] | * [[Fags|Gays]] | ||
* [[Marriage is love|Gay marriage]] | * [[Marriage is love|Gay marriage]] | ||
* [[Cycle of Blame|His staff]] | * [[Cycle of Blame|His staff]] | ||
* [[ | * [[Spics|Illegals]] | ||
* [[Mexico|Moar illegals]] | * [[Mexico|Moar illegals]] | ||
* [[Mormons]] (the underwear they wear is [[Stupid|gay]].) | * [[Mormons]] (the underwear they wear is [[Stupid|gay]].) | ||
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*[[Chuck Norris]] | *[[Chuck Norris]] | ||
*[[The Donald|Donald Trump]] | *[[The Donald|Donald Trump]] | ||
*[[Jeb Bush]] | |||
*[[John Kasich]] | *[[John Kasich]] | ||
*[[John McCain]] | |||
*[[Marco Rubio]] | *[[Marco Rubio]] | ||
*[[Mitt Romney]] | |||
*[[Ron_Paul#Rand_Paul|Rand Paul]] | *[[Ron_Paul#Rand_Paul|Rand Paul]] | ||
*[[Rick Santorum]] – Another Iowa Caucus winner who sputtered out and went nowhere. | *[[Rick Santorum]] – Another Iowa Caucus winner who sputtered out and went nowhere. | ||