DEFCON: Difference between revisions
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In reality, the size of the convention is its biggest downfall. The fact is, [[hardcore|real hackers]] don't go to huge conventions; real hackers stay where they belong, [[basement dweller|the basement]]. There have been <i>some</i> [[lulz|lulz-worthy]] moments, though, and you can always count on delicious [[drama]] when you fill a hotel with angsty teenagers with identity problems. | In reality, the size of the convention is its biggest downfall. The fact is, [[hardcore|real hackers]] don't go to huge conventions; real hackers stay where they belong, [[basement dweller|the basement]]. There have been <i>some</i> [[lulz|lulz-worthy]] moments, though, and you can always count on delicious [[drama]] when you fill a hotel with angsty teenagers with identity problems. | ||
DEFCON is also a retarded [[Steam]] game where you [[nuke]] the [[All your base are belong to us|enemy base]] [[for the lulz]]. | |||
==Usual Activities at DEFCON== | ==Usual Activities at DEFCON== | ||
Revision as of 01:02, 13 May 2012
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DEFCON is the worlds largest h4x0r convention, held annually in Las Vegas, Nevada. Every year, script kiddies gather to pretend there is a 1337 underground ring of hacktivists, just like in that one movie with Angelina Jolie.
In reality, the size of the convention is its biggest downfall. The fact is, real hackers don't go to huge conventions; real hackers stay where they belong, the basement. There have been some lulz-worthy moments, though, and you can always count on delicious drama when you fill a hotel with angsty teenagers with identity problems.
DEFCON is also a retarded Steam game where you nuke the enemy base for the lulz.
Usual Activities at DEFCON
Among many of the intelectually charged events at DEFCON, some include:
- Speeches, given to auditoriums filled with obese, pimply teenagers who breathe mainly through their mouths. The nature of these lectures usually consists of elitist reflections on 'Hacker Culture' and pointless 'How-To's.
- Competitions, in which contestants attempt to pwn each other by creating "viruses" in command prompt. Usually the winner is a cunning little shit who thought outside the box, surprising everyone with their stunning intellect.
- Eating. A lot of eating goes on here; cold pizza and milkshakes are favoured.
- Messing with stuff you aren't really supposed to, like the slot machines. This is dangerous, especially considering that casinos tend to actually take security a little more seriously than most hotels.
DEFCON Pwns Reporter In 2007
Normally the convention is as dull as a shoe-box full of wood chips; but in 2007 DEFCON organizers were tipped off by some geek in NBC's IT department that Michelle Madigan, a reporter from Dateline, would be spying on them for a hit piece.
DEFCON organizers offered Madigan several opportunities to get a press pass — but the dumb bitch insisted on staying "under-cover". So, they outed her in front of the entire convention.
Lulz quickly ensued:
If you listen closely at 1:22 you can hear retarded sheep beginning to cluster together. Like a shitball.
See Also
- The ED entry for Michelle Madigan, which gives more details about the incident.
- Jeff Moss
- Convention
- The Gibson
- Hacker
| Featured article August 1, 2009 | ||
| Preceded by 80-year-old Chinese man in panties |
DEFCON | Succeeded by Yaminoeyes |