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imported>LogInADog |
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| [[File:KillHamstergetstold2.png|thumb|right|Killhamster gets [[pwned]] after whoring for [[girlvinyl]]'s [[shit]] website.]] | | [[File:KillHamstergetstold2.png|thumb|right|Killhamster gets [[pwned]] after whoring for [[girlvinyl]]'s [[shit]] website.]] |
| '''Killhamster''', as the name suggest, struggles daily to fight the [[furluminati]]. [http://killhamster.livejournal.com/2005/04/10/] Should he fail, then they will take over the world! | | '''Killhamster''', as the name suggests, is a huge faggot who suffocates hamsters by firing them up his rectum. It has been speculated that the sheer amount of hamster carcasses lodged within the gaping expanse of his rectum has given him multiple [[White_Knighting|syndromes]]. |
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| He is part of the group that [[Sellout|sold out]] and created [[OhInternet]]. | | He is part of the group that [[Sellout|sold out]] and created [[OhInternet]]. |
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| | | Has been spotted recently preaching the virtues of censorship and taunting the [[Internet Hate Machine|Internet Hate Machine]] |
| ==Rape robot, romano, roquefort, and ricotta==
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| [[Image:Hamster_-_next_to_cat.jpg|thumb|right|An example of '''Killhamsterian''' suicidal thought]]
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| KillHamster is probably a robot who supports and laughs at [[rape]]. This robot is rumored to contain vast stores of cheese expressing various emotional states. One explanation is that he is keeping the cheeses captive to show the feelings that he himself cannot express. Yet, due to the presence of what is known as '''dead cheese''', this is not plausible. Rather, the '''Killhamster''' robot is instead elucidating upon the most postmodern of contemporary thoughts. Through abject symbolism, he is expressing the crux of conscious existence.
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| According to '''Killhamsterian''' thought, self awareness implies a feeling of general apprehension. Anxiety leads to the individual's confrontation with nothingness and with the impossibility of finding ultimate justification for the choices he or she must make. Indeed, why conclude "I think therefore I am" when we are precognizing the entity known as "I"? Such assumptions, according to '''Killhamster''' should not be made. '''Killhamsterian''' thought is explicitly atheistic and pessimistic; it is a declaration that human beings require a rational basis for their lives but are unable to achieve one, and thus human life is a “futile passion.”
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| For this reason, [[rape]] must be laughed at -- not because of the overt beauty inferred therein, but because existence itself is cerebral [[rape]]. Mankind must step inside the nothingness and laugh at its pain in order to create an elevated nothingness that penetrates the darkness of our foreboding hearts.
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| ==Rule rathered==
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| It was once claimed that KillHamster would rather be anally raped the complete length of a yardstick (hardwood with riveted metal end protectors and hang-up holes on each end, only $33.95) than find his similarly lengthy, detailed contributions arbitrarily '''[[Talk:Amalea|BALETED!]]'''
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| ==Ricochet rabbit==
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| KillHamster and a [[Ricochet rabbit|rabbit]] attempted to create the ridiculous illusion that they are one and the same animal by referring to themselves as each other's "troll account":
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| * http://www.livejournal.com/users/ricochet_rabbit/257661.html
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| * http://www.livejournal.com/users/killhamster/289681.html
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| Really, one only needs to look at them to realize they are not alike. One is a harmless [[hamster]], the other a harmful rabbit. Don't be fooled!
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| If you believed this ludicrous ruse, a [[hamster]] and a rabbit are laughing at you ''right now''.
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| ==Rowdiness==
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| He can be found at several websites almost constantly, including [[LiveJournal]], [[LJDrama]], [[Something Awful]], and the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Once a somewhat prolific member of the [http://www.fadetoblack.com/index.php?name=PNphpBB2&file=index Fade to Black community], he has let this fall by the wayside, as [[Aussieintn]] has chased away any worthwhile posters from their forums. Despite (or perhaps as a result of) his infamy, he has a small cult following, which can be found [http://www.livejournal.com/community/killhamster_fan here].
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| He has been known to go on the occasional [[Alcohol|bender]] which leads to long and incoherent threads that are best read under the influence of [[drugs]]. He may have become [[love|romantically]] linked with [[forunlawfulck]] during one of these inebriated evenings.
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| ==Relations==
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| KillHamster currently has several brothers with [[LJ]]s.
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| The most prominent of the Hamster family, other than Kill, is BillHamster. Bill is an active member of the [[indiefucks]] and can sometimes be seen commenting in his hero's journal.
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| Killhamster is a buck teeth bastard who should get b& from every site.{{unsigned|AcidMeltsThruYa}}
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| See also: | | See also: |
| *[[rapehamstor]] | | *[[Felching|Felching]] [[girlvinyl|Hippos]] |
| *{{lj|user=billhamster}}
| | *[[Beastiality|Beastiality]] |
| *{{lj|user=chillhamster}} | |
| *{{lj|user=thrillhamster}}
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| *{{lj|user=hamsterrunner}}
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| {{FallenGov}} | | {{FallenGov}} |
| [[Category: LJ Users]] | | [[Category: LJ Users]] |
