Killhamster: Difference between revisions
imported>Lulzcow No edit summary |
imported>Purplepox01 No edit summary |
||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
__NOTOC__ | __NOTOC__ | ||
{{eduser}} | {{eduser}} | ||
[[File:KillHamstergetstold2.png|thumb|right|Killhamster gets [[pwned]] after whoring for [[girlvinyl]]'s [[shit]] website.]] | [[File:KillHamstergetstold2.png|thumb|right|Killhamster gets [[pwned]] after whoring for [[girlvinyl]]'s [[shit]] website.]] | ||
Revision as of 13:07, 22 April 2011
Killhamster, as the name suggest, struggles daily to fight the furluminati. [1] Should he fail, then they will take over the world!
He is part of the group that sold out and created OhInternet.
Rape robot, romano, roquefort, and ricotta
KillHamster is probably a robot who supports and laughs at rape. This robot is rumored to contain vast stores of cheese expressing various emotional states. One explanation is that he is keeping the cheeses captive to show the feelings that he himself cannot express. Yet, due to the presence of what is known as dead cheese, this is not plausible. Rather, the Killhamster robot is instead elucidating upon the most postmodern of contemporary thoughts. Through abject symbolism, he is expressing the crux of conscious existence.
According to Killhamsterian thought, self awareness implies a feeling of general apprehension. Anxiety leads to the individual's confrontation with nothingness and with the impossibility of finding ultimate justification for the choices he or she must make. Indeed, why conclude "I think therefore I am" when we are precognizing the entity known as "I"? Such assumptions, according to Killhamster should not be made. Killhamsterian thought is explicitly atheistic and pessimistic; it is a declaration that human beings require a rational basis for their lives but are unable to achieve one, and thus human life is a “futile passion.”
For this reason, rape must be laughed at -- not because of the overt beauty inferred therein, but because existence itself is cerebral rape. Mankind must step inside the nothingness and laugh at its pain in order to create an elevated nothingness that penetrates the darkness of our foreboding hearts.
Rule rathered
It was once claimed that KillHamster would rather be anally raped the complete length of a yardstick (hardwood with riveted metal end protectors and hang-up holes on each end, only $33.95) than find his similarly lengthy, detailed contributions arbitrarily BALETED!
Ricochet rabbit
KillHamster and a rabbit attempted to create the ridiculous illusion that they are one and the same animal by referring to themselves as each other's "troll account":
- http://www.livejournal.com/users/ricochet_rabbit/257661.html
- http://www.livejournal.com/users/killhamster/289681.html
Really, one only needs to look at them to realize they are not alike. One is a harmless hamster, the other a harmful rabbit. Don't be fooled!
If you believed this ludicrous ruse, a hamster and a rabbit are laughing at you right now.
Rowdiness
He can be found at several websites almost constantly, including LiveJournal, LJDrama, Something Awful, and the Encyclopedia Dramatica. Once a somewhat prolific member of the Fade to Black community, he has let this fall by the wayside, as Jacknstock has chased away any worthwhile posters from their forums. Despite (or perhaps as a result of) his infamy, he has a small cult following, which can be found here.
He has been known to go on the occasional bender which leads to long and incoherent threads that are best read under the influence of drugs. He may have become romantically linked with forunlawfulck during one of these inebriated evenings.
Relations
KillHamster currently has several brothers with LJs. The most prominent of the Hamster family, other than Kill, is BillHamster. Bill is an active member of the indiefucks and can sometimes be seen commenting in his hero's journal.
Killhamster is a buck teeth bastard who should get b& from every site. — Preceding comment added by AcidMeltsThruYa (talk • contribs), who is too much of a fucking retard to sign their own posts. IT'S FOUR TILDES (~~~~), NOT ROCKET SCIENCE!
See also:
|
Killhamster
|
|
