Douchebag

A douchebag is a feminine hygiene product. However, it eventually became an insult, because 13-year-old boys (who made it an insult) are fucking stupid. If you are fucking stupid, and were looking for the definition of "douchebag" that applies to the insulting version of the word, then read on!

The douchebag is a common subspecies of the white American male jerk— a rude person who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intelligence. Douchebags behave ridiculously in front of others, with no sense of how moronic they appear. They can be seen in almost any setting, although they do seem to prefer malls, college campuses, and country clubs.

Identifying the Douchebag

Note the Extreme sadness created by being in the presence of a douchebag.

The common American douche is easily identified as a result of their distinctive manner of dress. There are slight variations, but common traits share among them are as follows.

Tom Brady
Gelled hair
Aviator Shades (usually worn when not needed, e.g., indoors)
Plaid shorts
The Two Douches[1]
Pastel polo shirts with popped collars, often wearing several at the same time
Designer T-shirts (especially Ed Hardy)
Brand new worn-out jeans, worn with overpriced flipflops
Bluetooth Headsets
Those flattened link chains
Possess a red car
Button up collared shirt, worn open so the muscle shirt beneath is visible.
"Vintage" T-shirts of bands they've never listened to and know nothing about.
Quote Shitty Movie lines (usually from films involving Adam Sandler)
Have an iPhone
The quintessential douche accessory beyond questionable doubt is the Douche Hat.
Drives a Hummer or some other loud gas-guzzling SUV type thing.

Exhibit A:

Sean Penn seems to have been used and then discarded by some old whore as an intimate hygiene product

File:Vanilla Ice.jpg

Look at that hat. Douche.

Also douchebags are known for extreme orange tans, a look that makes it appear is if they just got done bathing themselves in carrot juice.

“	I wear polos with plaid shirts[sic]sometimes. Go ahead and say that's how douchebags dress, but if Ralph Lauren makes you a douchebag, what does your clothing make you?	„
—An offended douche

Qualities of a Douchebag

There are many ways for someone to be classified as a douchebag, but the main qualities of a douchebag are: stubbornness, complains excessively, asinine goals in life , extravagant, and knows he/she is right and you are wrong. They often have a short temper, but they usually are pussies and run to solitude.

Douchebags are commonly sighted attaching to their mangier, odorous silent partners, the ones who squeeze right into infected ground zero, THE DOUCHENOZZLES. ie. Giuliani

Classes of Douchebags

There are three classes of douchebags:

The Plain Douchebag: Loud, Stupid, and Famous.
The Educated Douchebag: While they have done their homework on whatever it is they are doing, what they are doing is spectacularly dumb; whether it be their main goal, or their motives, its extremely retarded.
The Nice Douchebag: While they can seem like the nicest person alive, they are a douche through and through. An example is John Hardy, who gives jobs and food to hundreds of people in Bali on his farm. However, he lives extravagantly . . . believing that every time he looks at the mountains from his house, it lets him realize how amazing he is.
The Goth Douchebag: Exactly what it sounds like. They are the rarest kind of douchebags. They wear platform boots, listen to Voltaire, and always get the hottest dead bitches. Examples: Gothzilla, TheeObsidianReaper, Jerry from Doomsday Refreshment Committee, Don Henrie

here is a picture of a typical douchebag http://newmedia2.funnyjunk.com/pictures/birth_control.jpg "We’re living in one of the most beautiful places on the planet…we don’t need ornamentation." – John Hardy

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Professional Douchebag

Fred Phelps.
Thomas Edison.

Gallery

Galleria Le Douche About missing Pics

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File:Douchebag1.jpg
Douchebags wear fedoras.

Douchebags wear fedoras.

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It's difficult not to find a 'non douchebag' picture of this man.
Douchebag in the form of goth.

Douchebag in the form of goth.
Facebook douchebag pwned.
It would be cool on my planet!!.
A typical douchebag with nigress.
A douchebag lost in the aisles of Target.
Pretty much the definition of douche
typical mall douche.

typical mall douche.
Don Henrie is a douche
IMA PADDLIN MAH BOAT
Douchebags seem to take pictures by cars they don't own to look cool on teh internetz
Its a religion
13 year-old boy posing with fake abs; also plays runescape and is pretty ugly.
Sometimes douchebags enjoy traveling in roving gangs. Be on the lookout.
Easily identifiable.
Big muscles.
They come in white too!
A typical douche with his bitch.

A typical douche with his bitch.
"I don't know you, but, your input is not necessary. Thanks."

"I don't know you, but, your input is not necessary. Thanks."