AutoAdmit
AutoAdmit (a.k.a. xoxohth) is an upstanding legal discussion forum full of Ivy League hopefuls; it is run by a handsome Jew/Vitamin Soda entrepreneur known OTI as Rachmiel.
Poaster Demographics
At its peak AutoAdmit had thousands of regular poasters, but after the LOLsuit many poasters resorted to lurking, much like the vocal Muslim community after 9/11. Most of the current poasters are current or future law students, lawyers, unrepentant racists, vicious misogynists, OCD Asians, 2 gays, and a busted black chick with fat tits.
Because AutoAdmit is totally anonymous, there are two competing theories about the demographics of the AutoAdmit regular poaster population:
Megapoaster Theory
Variations of the Megapoaster Theory postulate that between 2-4 basement-dwelling OCD virgins have created 90% of the monikers and that the "discussions" posted on AutoAdmit are waged mostly by sockpuppets, 2 people fighting over their flawed understandings of complex issues backed by their respective legions of fake supporters, etc. This theory has gained credence in recent years, especially since the outting of WMTP, who claimed to be a "baller" with a "crew" but is in reality a Paki who lives with his parents in a shitty Chicago suburb with a TTT degree from a TTT directional state school.
Software Spam Theory
Since most of the threads on AutoAdmit are mindless, incoherent banality, some argue instead that the board's content is randomly generated by a computer stringing together the terms "GF, objectively hot, 6'2", nigger, ITT, Why are blacks, match.com, anal, 5'4", killself, Summon," and other screed spidered verbatim from stormfront.org.
Brief History
Original PR Board
AutoAdmit started as dating site exclusively for Asian guys seeking white girls. The original URL and current mirror, xoxohth.com, stands for "hugs and kisses, hope this helps;" some argue that the "xoxo hth" phrase attests to the truly earnest and benevolent essence of the AutoAdmit community. This argument overlooks the fact that, like most ultimately life-ruining internet phenomena, "xoxohth" began among azn teenagers as a meme.
A TTT in decline
Since the board's inception, posters have whined about AutoAdmit's hastening decline. It's sort of like when a band is cool for a split second, but then lots of fanny-pack fats start liking it, and so the original fanbase--which already consisted of mediocre poseur suburban fucktards--compete to see who can disavow the band most emphatically.
BIG CHANGES
After Rach got sick of the mutant bastard he spawned, he implemented some BIG CHANGES which included purging the archives, disabling search, creating the garbage board, and giving Rowan Mod-powers. Historians will likely look back on this event as the final straw in XOXO's downfall.
2016 Election
XO at its best, a year plus of quality poasting leading up to the election of our God-Emperor, Donald J. TRUMP.
- Memorable threads
- Freddie Gray, UVA, what else do I have to say
- The Next Twelve Months of Nate Silver's 538.com Headlines
- TRUMP will win Ohio, Michigan, and Pennsylvania against Klinton: Check the OP date -- and why didn't he include Wisconsin?
Notable Poasters, Current
:D
Also known as "colon dee," :D is AutoAdmit's beloved MFE (and was a LULZy defendant in the LOLSuit).
bloodacre
A fat whiteknight lawyer who chugs cum and is raising his wife's son.
blue smoke
A busted black shitlib chick with big tits. An unrepentant attention-whore, she disappears from the bort for months at a time whenever she goes back to chasing the dragon. She threw away being gifted a Yale UG degree after community college by pursuing such career ambitions as astronaut, AmeriCorps, Arby's, post-bacc med student hopeful, and counting aspies from a clock tower. She famously missed taking the LSAT because she didn't wake up in enough time to catch her bus. She is the personification of the failure of Affirmative Action policies.
David Ben Gurion
Just like his tribe, DBG has lingered far too long in a land not his own. A reformed chickpicthreader, he was tempbanned by Rach for poasting pictures of him wearing and sniffing the panties of a Dutch couchsurfing chick. He's also known for shitting in ziplock bags. He's currently a newlywed to the PDDJ, an autistic semi-jew with a known fetish for Patels.
Get Thee To The Rapery
A heroic woman and conservaheroine, no one understands why she is part of the zozo community. The bort doesn't deserve her.
J-J-J-JULIA!
AutoAdmit's favorite wannabe Playboy model and attention whore. Poasts bellydance videos for XO virgins to spank to. Inspired Poetic Dreamer to free verse, "I want to fuck you in the ass so hard. / So hard. / So hard. / So hard. / So hard. / So hard. / So hard. / So hard. Cream my cock with your nice, warm faeces. / Please./ Please. / Please. / Please. / Please. / Please. / Please."
Jim_Kelly
An objectively good d00d who, for some unknown reason, chose to marry an older FOB chink. Somewhat related ... he's also part of the A cup appreciation crew.
nyuug
nyuug is an IRL caricature of a self defeating Asian virgin. 95% of his poasts are about getting laid, yet when a fat chick got ass naked in his bed and begged for his cock all he did was eskimo kiss her while talking on the phone to his mom. He is currently a sexpat in his parents' homeland of Korea, where he avoids his mandatory military service when he's not eating dog.
Reality, Sorry Fags
RSF is a male shrew who lives the "Oh, you travel?" lifestyle that makes MFH mid 30s women dripping wet. Allegedly employed, he spends his daddy's 9/11 lawsuit bloodmoney on frivolous attempts to gain Instagram followers. He splits his time between New York, Paris, Hong Kong, and tinderslut pussy.
Taylor Swift is not a Hobby, She is a Lifestyle
Walt Disney World-annual-pass-carrying shitlawyer with delusions of holding public office. He picks fights with landlords and outted homosexual poasters from Indiana. All visitors to this page are now logged by TSINAH, btw.
whokebe
Whokebe was a dullard korean poster from the old PR board. He was not particularly funny or special, yet he is inexplicably revered as a God on AutoAdmit despite not posting or lurking there for over 2 years.
Notable Poasters, Retired
10 menstrually synchronized megaposters
AutoAdmit's erstwhile community account for female poasters.
The Box
AutoAdmit's most notable CAWG and attention whore. Began posting as an 18-year-old Ivy freshman (and a virgin [SRSly]). Has now been chokefucked & bukkaked.
Estrada
Dropped out of Harvard Law to pursue calling as a sunglasses salesman and physician to rich and famous dinosaurs.
Gay Posse
Gay Posse is known IRL as Gay Posse and will use his dad's FBI algorithms to hack your IP. Experts believe that most of the starvation in the third world is because of Gay Posse.
Hazelrah
All-around good dood. Managed a blogspot, The XO Reader until 2010 (now, alas, defunct).
istanbul street cat
We can't keep leaving a saucer of milk out for you forever, istanbul street cat.
MadCat
XO's own Truly Outrageous crazy cat lady.
Pensive
Pensive is an OCD virgin who invented the card game Ambition and spends endless hours trolling for HEROIC women. Because of his wealth of monikers, Pensivesque posts often receive the response "Hi Pensive".
Pensive is a megaposter responsible for 25% of the edits made to this hypertext-based distributed version control system.
Puppy (*is a puppy*)
Autoadmit's first virtual pet. Starred in such valiant threads as *guards your belongings* and *shivvers*
Rasquatch
Notoriously stupid poster: Ex: In a pinch, cats have the instinct to knead water from the ground.
Renada Dashada
Classic XO poster, author of the epic rant, "On choosing Chicago over Harvard".
Rowan
Rowan is an IRL busted-face, busty-chest ginger attention whore who threatens to retire on a bimonthly basis and gives uninformed relationship advice. Her hobbies include having impossibly high standards and leaving her cats at home for weeks on end. She retired for good once her cornflakes fetish and love for dark meat become known.
Short Asian Dentist
RIP, little prince.
Sonic Youth
A violent, self hating Asian megaposter who composed a lengthy and detailed screed about torturing a little white girl. Lulz were had by all when he was outed by Rach and subsequently googlebombed.
Notable Lulz
The T14 "Talent" Contest
Raiding hawt law students' social networking pages for spicy pics had long been an AutoAdmit tradition (example). But in 2007, board pariah PaulieWalnuts took that shit to the next level.
The genesis of what became AutoAdmit's most epic clusterfuck seemed innocuous enough: a thread calling for nominations for "Hottest T14 Law Girl 2007". Then pauliewalnuts had a brain fart:
The result was T14talent at googlepages. At first, the exercise seemed harmless enough. Some of the women were flattered to be nominated, and even contributed better pics to the effort.
Then came the bitching. Feminazis like Jill Filipovic called out the contest as "objectifying" women (or whatever), thus prompting a LULZy takedown by Lathorpe. And one student from Yale Law School was deeply unhappy about her nomination: Heide Iravani. When the buzz about her breasts failed to die down, Iravani was approached by two tools from Kentucky named Michael Fertik and Ross Chanin: they promised that, with the halp of their new scam company (Reputation Defender), all the big bad AutoAdmit posts would go bye-bye.
Unfortunately, Reputation Defender's ill-conceived "Campaign to Clean Up Autoadmit" only boomeranged: a la the Streisand Effect, Reputation Defender's attempts to twist AutoAdmit's arm through media interviews (including the Washington Post) only spawned MOAR (and moar DAMAGING) threads about Iravani (and Reputation Defender's other pro bono client, Brittan Heller). Details here.
Reputation Defender's utter fail to meet XO's challenge threatened to expose the company as impotent, and expose CEO Michael Fertik as a delusional douchebag. So Reputation Defender co-founder Ross Chanin begged his daddy, a partner at the lawlfirm of Keker Van Nest (Jeffrey R. Chanin), to halp. Thus began the next-level LULZ now known as The LOLsuit.
The LOLSuit
In 2007, Reputation Defender egged on two Yale women to sue AutoAdmit and several of its posters, claiming to have suffered extreme emotional distress as a result of cyberbullying. (Srsly). In an effort to shield their identities, the Yale girls' lawyers dubbed them Doe I and Doe II. (The girls' names (Brittan Heller and Heide Iravani) are now in the public domain--see Epilogue, below.)
Probably the only negative consequence of the LOLsuit was the chilling effect it had on the board: many established posters, now twenty-something attorneys, were afraid to be discovered frequenting a forum characterized by the media as racist, misogynist, etc. While the exodus of this particular group of people would have improved the overall atmosphere and lowered the virgin quotient of almost any other online community, AutoAdmit proved the exception. Remaining posters black person, confuse its and it's, and spend time editing grammar on ED.
Benefits (and hearty LOLs) of the LOLsuit included:
- The LonelyVirgin Letters: The first 'Lonelyvirgin Letter' (March 2007), which was spammed to the entire fucking faculty of the Yale Law School, warned professors that Brittan Heller was a lying bitch and that Heide Iravani owned ponies bought with money pilfered from the World Bank. (Srsly.) The SECOND 'Lonelyvirgin Letter' (June 2007), again spammed to the entire faculty of YLS, floated theories as to why "the epitome of kikes," David N. Rosen, would represent Heide and Brittan: "My own pet theory is that Mr. Rosen has recently found two talented knob gobblers to take care of business for him, in exchange for "pro bono" work. I can't blame him for trying to exploit their predicament, but it seems like the risk of contracting herpes from Brittan Heller would convince any rational person to go to a prostitute first. As for Heide Iravani, who wants that litigious cunt holding a sexual harassment lawsuit over their head?"
- A federal district court was forced to adjudicate claims against parties named :D, Dirty Nigger, and HitlerHiterHitler. (SRSLY.) It is widely speculated that current poster 8==D~~ created his moniker solely for the purpose of posting tortious content and, thus, increasing the odds that "8==D~~" will one day be named in a lawsuit.
- The AK-47 Letter: On the brink of being outted in March 2008, defendant AK-47 sent a friendly letter to Iravani and Heller's attorneys, letting them know the subpoenas he planned to send if the litigation continued: "1) A subpoena for information pertaining to the size of Heide Iravani's breasts and whether such breasts, as alleged by one Defendant, are "fake" 2) Information pertaining to whether Brittan Heller or Heide Iravani are indeed "universally hated" by their peers 3) Information pertaining to whether Brittan Heller or Heide Iravani have any sexually transmitted diseases, including Herpes 4) Information pertaining to the law firms that interviewed Brittan Heller or Heide Iravani, and why such firms decided not to hire Brittan Heller and Heide Iravani 5) Information pertaining to whether Brittan Heller did indeed achieve a score of 159 on the LSAT 6) Information pertaining to Heide Iravani's religion - i.e., Islam - and information from any Muslim peers that may be able to shed any light on this case (this information may be a bit difficult to get, but local mosques would be a good place to send information requests or, if necessary, subpoenas)." Legal gossip blogs clucked their tongues at AK-47's legal strategery, but the Russian Gun's letter actually fucking WORKED: The plaintiffs' lawyers, realizing they were dealing with a batshit crazy opponent, immediately dropped their pursuit of AK-47, whose actual identity remains unknown to this day.
- Brittan Heller is rumored to have learned NOT to blather in interviews about genocide, bloated bodies in open graves, feminazi shit, etc.
- Heide Iravani is rumored to have stopped dressing like such a slut. While this is a downside for those posters desperate enough to have fapped to her, it is probably a good thing for retailer Forever 21 and for the Beijing platinum powerseller "Totarry Authentic Seven Jeans For Idiots": both merchants had begun to run low on inventory.
- Plaintiffs' attorneys actually tried to serve notice by poasting on Autoadmit. Seriously:
History is made!
Epilogue: The following year, AutoAdmit's Education Director spread lulz moar widely by COUNTERsuing Reputation Defender and the Yale bitches. (SRSLY.) It's rumored that this is why lying bitch Brittan Heller fled to Korea and then Afghanistan. Since Heller is sure to be Ding!fagged if she ever petitions the Character and Fitness boards for a law license, she's trying to begin a new career as a fuckup Foodie at thesuitcasechef.com with her faggoty husband, Nathaniel Gleicher.
Heide Iravani is rumored to be judgment-proofing the ponies procured by her father with stolen World Bank money (Srsly!)
UPDATE 2018: Lying bitch Brittan Heller PROVES she's a lying bitch, becomes shameless shill for the Anti-Defamation League
UPDATE 2018: Big titted Heide Iravani dumped by BIGLAW, dumped by I-Banking, now flashing her tits in Customer Service jerb. Heide's McHuge titties now being sucked by Brian McHugh
On August 9, 2009, Autoadmit trolls cheered when their work was cited in the Weddings section of the New York Times. Srsly:
Use scrollbar to see the full image
Virginia Tech Massacre Sequel: XOXO Gets Party Van
Only two days after the recent prank in Virginia, an intelligent poster on AutoAdmit posted the following message:
The thread can still be seen here [1], but the poster edited the post to say "WGWAG", which is AutoAdmit slang for "white girls with asian guys." A valiant poster reported the post to the Dean of Hastings Law and the FBI. The school promptly went on lockdown, and the original poster is now completely, completely fucked. Rachmiel, the admin of AutoAdmit posted an announcement condemning the post, and announced his cooperation with the FBI.
Ernie Menard
Ernest C. Menard is essentially one cold son of a bitch. Unfortunately, the typical law school sluts didn't realize that Ernest C. Menard viewed most of them as likely being STD laden ex-street walkers. The e-drama started when an AutoAdmit poster found one of Ernie's blogs, entitled Judicial Malfeasance. (Dutiful comrades later reproduced the contents of the blog here). There were too many lulzy highlights to recount, but basically Judicial Malfeasance chronicled "sexually malevolent," harassing behavior by Ernie's female classmates and professors at LSU Law. For example, on July 31, legal writing professor Marlene Allgood flashed her tampon at Ernie, whispered "sex sex sex" and then "made a whoosh sound." You couldn't really blame her, though, because Ernie was asking for a good pile-driving.
Naturally, AutoAdmit trolls could not restrain their glee at discovering someone who maybe had a lower LSAT score and higher virginity score than they did -- Ernie attended LSU, what a TTT! -- and flooded his blog with lulzy comments. Because most of them were posting from work, Ernie discovered a flood of traffic from IPs associated with courts and large law firms, substantiating his paranoia that the entire judicial establishment was out to get him. Ernie freaked the fuck out {YEP, that's accurate} and baleeted Judicial Malfeasance [and, no, he baleeted it for other reasons], though he is still intent on getting his story out ("NOT EVEN A CORK WILL HELP"), and has created new blogs here and here. In addition, Ernie sued the Board of Trustees of Loyola University New Orleans and the megalulzy court opinion can be found here. Thx Google!
If you should encounter Ernie IRL, approach with caution since he has been arrested for assault at least once and claims to carry around a "gerbil and insertion device", proving that he is probably some kind of furfag. As far as this editor knows, Lawrence Moore, Associate Dean of Loyola Law School New Orleans, may have been walking around with the gerbil in his rectum for the past several years.
Miriam Weeks = Miriam Weeks (The Duke University Pornstar)
—--The Washington FUCKING Post!! 27 February 2014 | ||
The quote says it all: for the 2nd time in history, XO made the WASHINGTON POST! (For the first time, see The LOLSuit, above.) For celebration and joy, see this thread.
XO's feat was pretty simple: helping to out the Duke University Pornstar, Miriam Weeks, as Duke Freshman Miriam Weeks.
Notable Memes
—--Arthur Chu ("Jeopardy" Winner) 24 February 2015 so mad about NOWAG | ||
XO is replete with memes--some native to XO, others shamelessly stolen:
- 180: Prize awarded to acts flawlessly executed. Derives from the LSAT scoring system. Ex: Well Done Roundhouse Flame tricks an LDS livechat Mormon Missionary to open a tubgirl pic
- AGWWG: Asian Girls With White Guys. The dream of every asian daughter -- the refuge of every white incel son. Tends to yield pathetic spawn (e.g., Amy Chua)
- ATD: Anal, then dump. TCR to bitches who have the temerity to refuse to take her fiance's last name, inter alia.
- ATD: Alternate definition: Anal, then deport.
- autist: XO synonym for azn, lawyer, or azn lawyer.
- BIGLAW: If you have to ask what it means, you're too TTT to get the answer.
- CAWG: Crazy-ass white girl. See: Notable Posters: The Box.
- chaebong hyung: loosely translates as human garbage. See: Notable Poasters: nyuug.
- cheatmo: Noun or Verb. A poaster in a serious relationship who sleeps with men/women/trannies other than other than his/her wife/gf.
- cheatmoing: Both the proper gerund form (turning it into a noun describing the act or consequences of the actions of the cheatmo) or present participle (forming a continuous tense, as in "the poaster is cheatmoing," or an adjective, as in "the cheatmoing poaster got chlamydia") of the word cheatmo.
- CGWBT: Cheerful girl with big tits. They need not be particularly smart. However, they do need to be cheerful and to have big tits.
- Conservaheroes: Those who fight the good fight keeping rampant shitlibery in check.
- DIAF: Die in a fire.
- "DING! Fag.": The sound heard when an XOer is rejected by a preftigious institution. Regular verb; past tense: Ding!Fagged. First discovered by Stabby McLawyer, 2005 (Kirkland Ellis and Bryan Cave to Stabby: "DING! Fag.").
- Enjoy DLA PIPER!: TCR to law students attending TTTs.
- Gunner: See Striver.
- grow a beard: Prudent reaction to avoid responsibility for any mistake.
- "Guys at my high school ___ed all the time. (It was no big deal.)": Schema to be filled in by such actions as "gave blowjobs for the protein", "had interracial gay sex in gym locker rooms", "got rejected from yale with 180s", etc. Meme stolen by David Lat in 2010.
- heroic woman: Antonym of shrew.
- jelly?: "Are you jealous?"
- lengthy screed: XO synonym for passionate rants of 200 words or more. Ex: TEMPLE PROF SLAMS XOXO IN LENGTHY SCREED
- models and bottles
- MFE: MotherFucking Expert: a term of endearment for XO's most famous mother's basement dweller and civil lawlsuit defendant, :D. See: "Things on which :D is a motherfucking expert"
- MFH: "Man-fucking-hattan"
- -mos: Suffix, used to denote members of a group, those of similar characteristics, or adherents to a belief system. E.g. TRUMPmos, youngmos, CheesecakeFactorymos. See also: pumos.
- NFFI: Not falling for it. See also: YFWGI
- NOWAG: No One With Asian Guys. The <><><> of NOWAG is an intergalactic truth.
- NOWAG'd: To be rejected. See: Ding! Fag., NOWAG.
- oh, what a scholar!: Sarcastic snark reserved for pretentious dickheads like Brian Leiter.
- quotemos: XO monikers of seemingly random apostrophes and quotation marks. See: pumo.
- poast: XO synonym for post.
- poaster: One who poasts.
- preftigious: OFFICIAL AutoAdmit spelling of "prestigious."
- pumos: XO monikers of seemingly random punctuation marks, used by azn/fagg0t/timid poasters as an added layer of anonymity and plausible deniability of poasting on such a racist tweetbort.
- puppydood: XO synonym for "puppy."
- (Rasquach): See (Rudolph).
- reptiles: How shitlibs refer to XO conservatives.
- (Rudolph): Expression appended to any flagrantly bad prediction (source). Ex: "I can't get the herp from rawdawging promiscuous chicks, right? (Rudolph)"
- SAYTPD: "Sorry about your tiny pink dick."
- shitlaw: The practice of law outside of federal government or V100 firms. Synonym: toilet law. Antonym: BIGLAW.
- shitlibs: The vast majority of liberals.
- shrew: Any 28 yr old or older unmarried woman. Typically found in MFH, they are characterized by touting such achievements as "MY masters," "MY vacation to Machu Picchu," or "MY abortion."
- SPS: Shit, pure shit. Ex: "This board is SPS today"
- Striver: See Gunner.
- TCR: See TITCR.
- TITCR: This is the credited response.
- TRUMPmos: Poasters who earn 180s for TRUMPthreading about our God-Emperor, Donald J. TRUMP. XO was early on the TRUMP train.
- TTT: Third-tier toilet. Refers to any law school other than those in the T14. Also, something worthy of being bashed (Ex: Hilarious Penn Law student website/resume - Let's bash this TTT.)
- "u mad"
- "...to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air.": Yeah, we do that, too.
- u mad: Same meaning as the classic meme.
- welcome to my harem ...: Claiming ownership of anything unsustainable or never his in the first place.
- WGWAG: White Girls With Asian Guys, the unobtainable relationship ideal that drove nyuug insane.
- The WUSTL: Famous St. Louis dance celebrated here and here.
- YFWGI: You're flame, we get it.
- "You'll get in everywhere you apply!": TCR when someone posts laughable stats and asks for his chances of avoiding being Ding!Fagged by non-TTTs
Notable Threads
Various threads have compiled the "Top 200 Threads of the Decade", and the best threads of 2010 and 2011. Here is a sampling:
2000s
- "_______________": The first intentionally blank-titled XO thread.
- accidently gave guy wrong directions, should i grow a beard?
- Asians: Magical?: An early chapter in XO's lovehate relationship with Asians.
- Barzini's masturbation fort (picture)
- blackpeoplelikeporkchopsbecausetheyareshapedlikeafrica: It is unknown whether this 2004 meme arose independently of Colin Quashie's artwork, or whether he ripped us off.
- Breaking point: Threw a big turd at a nigger today: Classic thread illustrating XO's passion for wholesome racism.
- chat live with a mormon missionary is working!!!!: AutoAdmit posters vs. online LDS missionaries. Also, tubgirl.
- Chicago > Stanford >>>>> Columbia/NYU: Source of the infamous Renada Deshada UChicago rant
- Classmate caught me masturbating to Nicole Matisse, taking q's.
- Cool guys with cool haircuts at HLS
- Coughed; blood squired out of vaggy: Madcat's most memorable gross-out moment.
- Did jew bitches give blowjobs in Auschwitz for the protein?
- Did you ever "go too far" while playing as a kid?: XOer recounts fond childhood memory of vengeance on a snitch: "I was afraid someone would call the cops on us, but his mom was a drunk, so no such luck for him."
- difference between MadCat's pussy and a 747 airplane?
- Do asian women iron their faces every morning?
- Family of Fats Shoveling Fried Fish Next To Me At Airport: Includes BONUS PICS.
- guy next to me drew a robot on his torts final
- Harvard Asian slut to be the next Kaavya: LOL, Patrick Hamm and Lena Chen
- Harvard College Student plagarizes and received $500,000: LOL, Kaavya Viswanathan. AutoAdmit black knights went on to poast the plagiarist's phone number and crank call her.
- Help me become the most legendary gunner ever
- Help me cope with adderall depedency with 3 weeks till exams: Collision of XO's main fault lines: overachieving azns, study drugs, and internet memes. Watch for an appearance by IAMADDERALL.
- How did Babar the Elephant get so fucking rich?
- How ghetto is a Royal Caribbean cruise?: Notable poster :D gets pwned.
- How much would you contribute to take care of Rasquach?: XO takes up a collection for a hit on Rasquatch.
- HYPO: you and your hot daughter are playing naked Twister
- I AM A REFRIGERATOR!!!! I AM VERY COLD!!! WOOOOOSH!!!!!!: A boastful refrigerator teaches life lessons. Thread dramatized on YouTube in 2010.
- I got kicked out of Barnes and Nobles today: Apparently, B&N thinks Jay-Z is SPS.
- I just had amazing sex w/someone NOT my boyfriend!!!
- i just stole my mom's credit card: LOL, College Board.
- IN DIZ THRED, A REAL LATIN LOVER TEACHES YU PICKUP LINEZ.
- I listen to 'i am beautiful' when i masturbate(...now my jeans smell like semen and broken dreams.")
- Is there anyone here who DOESN'T sleep naked, and wtf not?
- Is XOXO the new post-irony?
- ITT rewrite literary classics as xoxo posts
- John Marshall: #1 in ZOMBIELAW!
- Just accepted at Sullivan, accepting praise and taking questions: Mason27 offers classic fatherly advice on working at Sullivan & Cromwell.
- Just fucked my dog's face and screamed PWN3D "...then it bit my dick off. fair."
- Just masturbated to Pear Chan. Feeling bad about myself. Qs?
- Lena Chen and the Case of the Naughty Nudie Pics
- New photo from GW Law orientation
- *****Official NAKED NUDE BOOBS******Thanks Coked Up
- OH NO DIARRHEA ALL OVER THE CARPET WHY DID I FART NAKED
- Rejected Working-Titles for the Holocaust
- Rode a public subway. Here is my report. (174)
- Shit. I think this guy I saw today died...
- Toward a Consensus Philosophy of Shit Eating: See also NicoBlue's post, "A few years ago, while browsing around the library downtown..."
- Typical Day For First Year Litigation Associate
- What do you think of Louis Vuitton bags?: Notable for mafoofan's elegant proof that 'Double stitched, by hand' is a contradiction.
- Why do asian women travel in large, titless packs?
- wiping your ass with retarded children's hair: yay or nay?
- Wow...Asian UPenn 1L chick with a huge rack: Jiamie Chen learns, too late, the perils of posting pics of oneself in a titsquishing whore's outfit on Facebook.
- XOXO Kindness Club Meeting Here
- Yale 1L here: no offered I think for humming the batman theme "in the office with 'BIGLAW' substituted for 'Batman'. IE: na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BIGLAW."
- you jerks, i got pwn3d:: Barzini posts about an upcoming date with a Jewess (with Facebook pics of the chick). Another poster tracks down the girl and emails her the thread. Hilarity ensues.
2010s
- a pale irish girl, boiling potatoes for an asian man at breakfast: I rike a eat a omeret. I rike a eat a hash brown. I rike a eat a waffer.
- anonymous buttsex with seventeen beefy cholos in a barn
- AutoAdmit is mentioned on The Washington Post (link)
- Caught on Tape: Raptor devours Cheerleader
- COME ON DOWN TO MARCO RUBIO TOYOTA: Check the date of the OP.
- :D making corrugated biglaw office out of refrigerator box: MOAR mockery of XO's most famous lolsuit defendant (and mother's basement dweller).
- Escort-getting Master Men cum here
- Francesca Prout See also Chessy Prout liar
- Freddie Gray, UVA, what else do I have to say
- Girlfriend broke both her arms, now I have to wipe her ass.
- Hey guys what's up (Foggy): Notable for Foggy Bottom Dreaming's pean on teh Meaning of Life.
- high school girls with firm healthy tits
- how ALPHA is my new bf (tb):The Box recounts getting chokefucked and bukkaked.
- i can basically tell you the origin of every xo meme since 2004
- ITT: We Archive the Brutal, One-Shot Kills of XOXO
- ITT we record things UVT says about himself
- Jeremy Lin packing for All-Star Game with pink Hello Kitty luggage set
- jjc: "Risten i'm a chirr white blo, I rike a Donarr Tlump long time, but...": not even a parody.
- Kaavya Viswanathan's PARENTS DIE IN PLANE CRASH LOL: Kaavya Viswanathan learns that karma is a bitch. AutoAdmit LOLs.
- Ke$ha muttering "Gaga delenda est" at the end of SNL performance
- Kim Jong Un: "So she never came out and addressed her supporters? Shameful."
- Liberal nutjob inculcate small child with liberal crap (HuffPo): LOL, Amy Kieran.
- List of Asian Taunts Collected for Posterity
- lol, Francesca "Chessy" Prout vs. EncDrama AutoAdmit referees the Encyclopedia Dramatica vs. Chessy Prout liar drama
- my 5 year old son is gay (pic): LOL, Fag Enabler
- "My son likes a girl. So what?" (nytimes 2095)
- My trip to Chipotle (CHUNG): tl;dr: CHUNG has daydream and thinks he can convince people it really happened
- OFFICIAL BELLE KNOX (DUKE U) OUTTING THREAD
- OMG wtf is this shit: Rasquach's legendary tit-pic (See 2000s: *****Official NAKED NUDE BOOBS******Thanks Coked Up), reloaded.
- Ordered pizza without getting soda. owner seemed pissed
- Roberts Alito Kagan Soto Breyer Sykes Kavanaugh Gorsuch Thomas: Note the date of the OP.
- So i hung out with my zanex\meth-head friends from high school
- Someone spilled coffee on my JoS A Bank blazer - what do I do?
- Sotomayor changing from her SCOTUS robes to her Sbarro uniform
- The Next Twelve Months of Nate Silver's 538.com Headlines
- This chameleon dood is pretty pissed someone noticed him
- Told secretary 'your ass looks amazing in those pants': XOer worries about getting HRpwned by shrew. XOers offer sympathy and constructive suggestions.
- TTT Grad Drops Knowledge, Makes Out: In the tradition of Family of Fats Shoveling Fried Fish Next To Me At Airport, poaster brand-new-me snaps a pic of a TTT hitting on a whore at the airport.
- UVT Dogg ft. Nyuu G. - Regurators.mp3: REGURATAHS! MOUNUR!
- VIDEO: Hitler is briefed about XOXO: Estrada's crush on The Box comes to naught. Dramatized in video.
- Your disappointed father, trying to use chopsticks at your wedding reception
Notable Videos
Autoadmit: a pretty preftigious fountain of multimedia creativity
- 28 Subpoenas Later: Gallows humor posted shortly after The LOLsuit hit.
- AHWIAB and Rasquach, sitting in a tree!: MadCat ribs two notable poasters.
- The Askav Song: "The Askav Fan club got together and recorded this song about askav, then set it to clips of askav going about his daily routine."
- Autoadmit Explained: Xtranormal tutorial about AutoAdmit.
- Autoadmit Hitler: Estrada pursues The Box, but can't get no satisfaction.
- Big Man Tyrone explains XO, while shitlibs, pumos, and NOWAGs grow increasingly apoplectic.
- :D's Basement: A videogame tribute to notable poster :D.
- Estrada in the Wind: "A goodbye tribute to the biggest aspie dino-loving virgin of them all."
- heidi: Resident chatboard psycho PaulieWalnuts asks 'tard to wish a happy birthday to Lolsuit plaintiff Heide Iravani, then posts a link to the thread in HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEIDE IRAVANI!!!
- Hitler Rips XO in Lengthy Screed
- I AM A REFRIGERATOR: A partial dramatization of I AM A REFRIGERATOR!!!! I AM VERY COLD!!! WOOOOOSH!!!!!!
- Masterthread Theatre: A partial dramatization of the thread "Drove girl home, did not get laid, taking questions"
- Opening "The Box" and Welcome to "The Box": TTTobinBell challenges The Box. See THE OFFICIAL "JIGSAW DEATHS" MEMORIAL CATALOGUE THREAD
- This Week in Cho Studies: Brownstone vs. McBeef: Dramatization of the classic thread, I may be starting to lean to Brownstone over McBeef, discussing nuances of Seung-Hui Cho's literature.
Megapoaster Madness
An XO tradition unlike any other. Each year, top poasters compete in a bracket to win bragging rights as the Poaster of the Year (PoTY). Childish antics ensue during the competition as befits the autists and minorities who otherwise lack any official recognition.
2018
- full bracket
- 1st - mpa
- 2nd - backspace
- 3rd - AssFaggot
- 4th - biglaw lives matter
2017
- full bracket
- 1st - Charles XII
- 2nd - twins
- 3rd - mpa
- 4th - askav
2016
- full bracket
- 1st - evan39
- 2nd - mpa
- 3rd - Buck "The Club" Paulette
- 4th - biglaw lives matter
2015
- full bracket
- 1st - BOOM
- 2nd - Lord Halford
- 3rd - Buck "The Club" Paulette
- 4th - NeumannMorgenste
2014
- full bracket
- 1st - Johnsmeyer
- 2nd - j shad
- 3rd - Hemisemidemipumo
- 4th - askav
How to Troll AutoAdmit
- Argue that men fucking men is gay
- Claim prestige.
- Claim that American Psycho and Kitchen Confidential are pieces of shit that only striver n00bs would read.
- Claim to be an attractive female. To garner maximum internets, while claiming to be an attractive female you should also remark upon one or more of the following:
- You are impervious to the Mystery Method
- You would never marry a lawyer, an azn, an azn lawyer, or anyone who sported hideous acne in high school.
- You attend HYS and/or work at a v10
- Your fiance is Old Money and works in Private Equity. You seduced him via your keen wit, sophisticated fashion sense and prestigious t14 resume
- Poast about casual sex. Pensive will descend upon you with his multiple monikers.
- Opine that men under 6' are "creepy."
- Defend university Affirmation Action admissions policies.
- Describe a shrew ass squeezed into a pencil skirt you recently had seen.
- Inquire where *THE* best burger is in MFH.
- Post as a Biglaw partner. Your posts can be otherwise nondescript; the mere brazen assertion that are you have reached level 80 IRL will suffice to generate large amounts of e-drama. To garner maximum internets, while posting as a biglaw partner you should also remark upon one or more of the following:
- Brooks Brothers makes for stellar interview attire
- Skadden has already conducted mass stealth layoffs
- LSAT scores are inconsequential
- ITE, Summer Associate lunches will be at Applebees
- Support the Alternative Minimum Tax
See Also
External Links
- The Most Prestigious Twitter Account in the World
- Whokebe Wear the Official XO store
- XOXOHTH Today A website highlighting popular/LOLsy threads of the day
- AutoAdmit.com
- XO-produced warning about the Reputation Defender scam.
- The notorious T14 Talent website (archived)
- Slate Article
- Washington Post Article
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