Baby Boomers

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Background

Boomer with his son

Baby Boomers were born immediately after World War II, around the years 1946 to 1964. Most of their parents were of the “Greatest Generation”; the GGs fought through WW2 and the Great Depression and after victory, went on to “rebuild America to absolute height of its excellency”. It would come as no surprise that it would be difficult to match this generation, so we could forgive boomers if they never surpassed them. However, boomers went on to go in the exact opposite direction of their parents; they destroyed the middle class, wiped away traditional values (via Feminism, and Hippie bullshit), took all the wealth for themselves, polluted and destroyed the planet en-masse, and left their children with a bleak future and a corrupted planet.

Ascent to Power

Boomers were the first generation to grow up with the electric jew, frying their brains with kike filth. They refined rock and roll music, and witnessed the red scare, cuban missile crisis, the moon landing, 'nam, etc.. After growing up in the 50s ~ 70s, boomers were treated to an excellent job market in America, allowing them to live off minimum wage. Even high school education wasn't necessary since the factory jobs that still existed didn't require them. The access of wealth allowed them to marry at young ages, as was traditional. However, divorce rates skyrocketed among their generation. Many boomers were yuppies; fags who used to be hippie douchebags screaming to save the planet- and then when they got through college, landed cushy office jobs and became elitist corporate douchebags who destroyed mother nature. Boomers went on to seize all the wealth, start shitty wars (W), corrupt college, media, and society with capitalism, and act like selfish narcicistic assholes. Then they call Millennials (who they raised) exactly what they are; pot calling the kettle black.

Retirement

As of the 2010s, Boomers started to enter retirement age. However, nearly half of them are delaying retirement because they forgot to start saving money early in life. A quarter of them claim to never retire- capitalism just works! The real problem is that they stole all the wealth for themselves and left subsequent generations no jobs to score, so the social security net is as thin as a strain of hair.

Parenting Techniques

Cause Effect
Punishment Go to your room, mister!
Praise You're so special! You can do anything!
Reward (Gives 300 trophies, even for last place)
Failure You didn't "lose" because your opponent "won"; you simply "not won", because NO ONE is a "loser"!
Sex ED Sex is evil! Don't ever do it! Abortion is SATAN!
Moral Panics Pokemon is satanic! Ban digimon! Marilyn Manson and Em did Columbine!
Work Ethic nice joke
Parenting Ethics, I (Goes to casino to get drunk)
Parenting Ethics, II (Hires a babysitter)
(Helicopter Parenting) Result: Hyper-Individualistic, hypersensitive, angry bitches

Fun Facts

  • Boomers like to brag about how they created the internet- yet fail hard at using it, often forcing their overworked millennial children to do internet shit for them- then scolding them when they get a virus after browsing dubious sites.
  • Boomers are about to retire.. but their children wont be able to pay for their social security. What comes around goes around, fat bitch.
  • Boomers can't code yet will attempt to micromanage programmers and have the power over them.
  • Boomers will attack degrees like gender studies for being pointless, yet claim that business admin is good despite it being worse than degrees that people make jokes about and hope that the millennials will run a business or a business function with interest accruing over time and skyrocket rent.
  • Boomers (60%) are still paying and raising their Millennial children, many of whom are pushing well into their 30s.
  • Boomers taught their kids that debt is good and that there is nothing wrong with paying high interest rates while being shoehorned into mega-cities as they are the only places to get high paying jobs with college degrees for the interest of the ruling elite to steal their money in the form of high rent costs. You will not even pay off even 1000 dollars back even in a world in which college was inexpensive.
  • Boomers caused the 2008 financial crisis and throw their kids in a job market disaster that we never fully recovered from.
  • Boomers destroyed the middle class. FUCK YOU!!!1
  • Boomers are scared of a flu with a 99.9% survival rate.
  • Boomers caused 64% of young adults in America to live with their parents with rates still being high in 40-52% in other countries, yet they still blame a nation that had an unemployment rate of zero percent for their problems instead of the fact that the millennials are taught to have resumes that resemble that of Chris-Chan in our public schools.
  • Boomers parents were warriors, and the first half of the boomer generation fought in Vietnam, and yet they went on to shut down all the factories daddy made, and sent their children to even more pointless wars- then forced them to pay off the price.
  • Boomers raised millennials, then complained about them at every turn after raising them to believe they were special snowflakes.
  • Gas the baby boomers, age war now.

Training Guide

Training for boomers:

  1. have a massive entitlement
  2. raise taxes to pay for your healthcare
  3. raise taxes until millennials and zoomers cannot afford to go to college
  4. raise taxes until millennials and zoomers cannot afford to own a home
  5. raise taxes until millennials and zoomers cannot afford to start a family
  6. raise taxes until millennials and zoomers are forced to work two dead end jobs for the rest of their lives just to afford rent
  7. make excuses for why the millennials and zoomers can't do the above (ie. the STEM meme)
  8. repeat steps 2-7 until you die

Videos


10 reasons

Baby Boomer Rant

Baby Boomers Defined

Whining Baby Boomers

Five Stupid Things About Baby Boomers

Millennials Guide To Baby Boomers

Baby Boomers vs. Millennials

Gallery

Notable Boomers

See Also

External Links


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Allies

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Enemies

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Stuff They Rely On

CensorshipCommunismGun control#MeTooVideo Game JournalismKlaus SchwabAcademiaWeed

Consequences

Donald TrumpMass ShootingTerrorismWWWIII

Featured Article July 23 & 24, 2021
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Baby Boomers Succeeded by
HYPESHOT IS BACK TO VANDALIZING ED AND GIRL ON INTERNET IS A FAGGOT FOR BANNING MY ACCOUNT