Faux News
- Not to be confused with Fake News
Faux News (also known as Fox Noise, Goebbels Nazi Propaganda, Fox Snooze, Fascist Obnoxious Xenophobes, Fixed News, Cocks News, Fox Jews, GOP TV, PraAAAISE DE LAwd, Our Leader's Glorious Official Republican Government News Network variations of these names or, by its cult worshipers, Fox News) is a comedy network for gullible Republicans, white trash, bitches, and 13-year-old boy. Countless blogs and political commentary websites erupt into debate over the latest musings of that shemale Ann Coulter. It is now popularly known that Fake News is now the primary source for Furfags, seeing that Faux nooz is filled with right wing ass-hats that oppress sexual tendencies and thoughts that they have and express uber uselessness over it.
It is rumored that the new logo of Fox News will be a triptych of the Virgin Mary crying in a glass of Miller Lite while shoving a potato up her cunt.
ChristianHillbilly gets his facts from Fox News (moar liek Fox JEWs, amirite?). Some argue that Rupert Murdoch is in fact Jew (and everyone acknowledges that he serves Zionist interests), and did WTC to generate lulzy footage for his news empire to replay over 9000 times in any given week. Foreigners and Noam Chomsky hate Fox News because Fox covers liberals and terrorists getting raped by real men with guns. Supporters of Fox argue that the network simply reports the rape, and allows its viewers to decide if the victims were asking for it.
Faux News has been scientifically proven to increase viewer stupidity.
Typical Fox Reporters, Propaganda Contributors
- Shepard Smith, IRL self-hating semi-closeted homosexual
- Greta Van Susteren, $cientology. Unclear if Greta knows about Xenu or the Wall of Fire.
- Oliver North, war criminal and a member of the US military. But I repeat myself.
- Sean Hannity: Irish fuckface who invented the Paddy wagon move (Forcing a 5-year old boy to sing "Danny Boy" while fisting his ass into a greenish mush) see friendship between Hannity and well-known New Jersey white supremacist radio host Hal Turner [1]
- Phil Shuman[2]: Thinks raiding Habbo Hotel and spoiling Harry Potter constitutes an INTERNET HATE MACHINE
Bill O'Reilly, loves to fuck his co-workers while telling them to "shut up ..or put up" Also a douche. Has recently become an accessory to murder.LOL NOPE!
- Sarah Palin: Hired solely for the lulz. And the tits. Mostly the tits.
Glenn Beck a rapist/murderer back in 1990, openly calls 4chan a leftist pedophile network and linked 4chan to Obama on his paranoid chalk board theories. Also known as the lead singer of the hair-metal band "Glönn Böck."LOL FIRED
Rachel MarsdenLOL FIRED
- Michelle Malkin, the hot-air anchor baby self-hating pigcunt Asian
- Ann Coulter, You can't call her a cunt, cause she has a dick. Frustrating.
Examples of Fox News Logic
- Anonymous is a gang of hackers on steroids: internet terrorists, convening within a top-secret site in order to more effectively blow up yellow vans. You must buy a dog, close your curtains and install phone tracing and a new security system to prevent this.
- Heath Ledger committed suicide because he either watched the South Carolina Debates, was depressed about the drop in the stock market, or was just "weird."[3]
- AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE IS TERRORISM! [4]
- The Half Hour News Hour is not racist, nor biased; but rather, hilarious!? (correction: Fox Inc. worst mistake).
- Osama bin Laden did 9/11, NOT Jews. (This aside, Osama is actually a Jew too LOL)
- God Hates Fags is an evil man, yet gays are sub-human creatures that must be lynched.
- Nintendo DS is used by child molesters who lure children into their picto-chat sessions while driving, to rape them.
- PlayStation Portable is high powered computer that gets porn out of thin air, and is used in school!11
- Fox News attempted humor with The Half Hour News Hour and failed.
- If you are an American Presidential Candidate, and you want to prove your patriotism by not wearing an American flag pin, you are a terrorist.
- Mass Effect has full nudity, graphic pr0n and deserves an AO rating, because the woman who didn't play the game believes it. Also, there are chainsaws in GTA IV takes 200+ hours to complete, because the man who didn't play the game said so.
- Making fists with your fellow black person and putting them together is considered a TERRORIST FIST JAB and is a bigger threat to America than cancer and diabeetus combined.
- The Newgrounds Torture Game 2 is disgusting, Melissa, and will make kids immune to physical pain and go kill anyone they want.
- Post a photo without context; leave readers to figure that one out on their own.
Fox News versus Anonymous
See HACKERS ON STEROIDS and [email protected].
Sean Hannity vs Robert Gibbs
If this is the best we can throw at them, then it's clear why these pricks prevail.
Fox tries to shield Sarah Palin from booing crowd
Sarah Palin's latest political stunt was to reinforce her "hockey mom" image by dropping the first puck at a hockey game in Philadelphia. Anticipating bad press from the get go, Faux News website released the following statement:
— Sarah Palin, showing just how good a mother she is | ||
The plan backfired, and the boos were so loud the stadium tried to drown it out by turning up the music. That did little however to distract from the numerous thumbs-down gestures and Obama/Biden signs in the audience. And when the time came, Palin didn't even drop the puck herself.
Faux News for their part tried to polish this turd by splicing together overhead footage that cut out the audience and using crappy audio that drowned out most of the booing.
Fox News: Saving the World One Vidya at a Time
The biggest threat to a god-fearing, fag-hating nation, aside from terrorists, liberals, liberal-terrorists, and atheist heathens, is the vidya. Jack Thompson is a prime candidate when it comes to providing completely unreliable "research" that the reason your little boy raped a girl, stole a car, and murdered a number of people is not due to bad parenting, but because of a video game where he repeatedly pressed the X button. But we're not talking about any hack-lawyer who needs to be put into a retirement home this time, we're talking about a hack-psychiatrist named Cooper Lawrence. Dr. Lawrence (not a real doctor, but a doctor in the same way that Dr Pepper or Dr Dre are doctors) appeared on Fox News to discuss the psychological harm that can be induced by the popular vidya "Mass Effect". Surely, they're going to discuss the harmful xenophobic effects of fighting a universally evil alien race, right? Of creating lines between 'us' and 'them' based on appearance rather than values and actions? Fuck that hippie bullshit. Faux News is going to discuss the three minutes of DIGITAL, FULL FRONTAL, TOTALLY EXPLICIT, FILTHY, UNNATURAL, MIND-CORRUPTING NUDITY! Seriously, they compared the Xbox 360 (at the time with a lower survival rate than a black man at a Klan-Nazi pancake breakfast) to Pandora's Box (the box that unleashed corrupting evil to humanity). Cooper gave her two cents about "all the research" and how teenagers with their Play-Dough minds see women as objects of desire. Amazingly, the smartest person there was from Spike TV, Geoff Keighley, who not only got Cooper to say that she never actually played Mass Effect, but that there was only a bit of alien side-boob, AND that you actually needed to build a relationship before there's even a chance to get any tail, while Cooper seemed adamant that every female encounter in the game included a 'Press X to Rape' command option. And thus it was proven that a well-known news station can be ousted intellectually by a channel dedicated to James Bond marathons, softcore porn-based comedy, and UFC. As Keighley tried to explain that nothing being said was true about the content of the game, and it was all blatant lies and bullshit, Faux News decided to cut off the liberal-fag-loving-terrorist, and went back to raging about children playing porn games. And then when they had their little moralistic circle-jerk about how awful it is, they all acted as if Geoff hadn't spoken at all.
Normally this kind of bullshit ends as a never-ending nerd rage on YouTube, but a few days later, Cooper Lawrence got her just desserts on Amazon.com. Gamers calling Cooper on her bullshit flocked to wherever a review of her latest book "The Cult of Perfection: Making Peace with Your Inner Overachiever" could be deposited, and proceeded to ruin her reputation as a person with any amount of intelligence. Honestly, would you want to buy a self-help book from a person who makes arguments without research? Or take advice from someone stupid enough to insult an interest of the interwebs (video games) and imply the evil of another (porn), then try and market her book immediately thereafter? It's like murdering someone in front of their family, then giving them a business card that has your name, address, and closest friends and treasured valuables listed in case you want to exact revenge while expecting them to send you gift baskets that *don't* include explosives.
—Anonymous Reviewer | ||
—Anonymous Reviewer | ||
—Anonymous Reviewer | ||
Amazon has since taken off all the reviews that stated they hadn't read the book. But, it turns out the book's crappy enough, even without nerd rage, and over 100 people still give it a 1/5 rating, while four people were paid enough to give it a 5/5 rating.Sample here.
EA UNLEASHES THE FURY
After the interview Electronic Arts executives called out Fox News's bullshit debate with an ALL CAPS letter debunking the lies that where spoken. Basically the letter defended the hundred of nerds who put in years to make this 
game.
—Jeff Brown, VP of EA | ||
Result: EA does EPIC Pwnt on Fox and is, for the first and last time in the history of the world, the good guy.
Update: The Vagoo Apologizes
So after receiving a lot of flak from all corners of the gaming world and from having much butthurt on amazon, the cunt actually decides to watch someone else play the game for two and a half hours. She then realizes that she's fucking retarded, because who could get off watching an alien bone a human?[5] [6]
—Cooper 'Pretentious Cunt' Lawrence, still managing to be insulting during her apology. An exemplar of the Faux Way. | ||
Despite apologizing to the gaming community for all of the bullshit accusations, the rape over her book on amazon shall continue to prove a lesson to the people at faux news and anyone who goes on who makes any false accusations and promoting a book at the same time, will feel the wrath of the gaming community.
Intertubes H4x0r3d
On July 22, 2007, an illiterate 5th-grader found the intertubes root password by guessing where it was saved: On the Fox News website. Here's what he saw when he signed in:
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Fox News leaves their root images directory open for perusal.
Faux News Shoops Photos
On July 2, 2008, everyone's favorite propaganda hate machine ran a segment calling New York Times editor and reporter Steven Reddicliffe and Jacques Steinberg "attack dogs," because they mentioned that Fox News' ratings were slipping, probably because people don't want to be fed bullshit during the presidential elections. Fox thought this statistical data was an attack on their fair and balanced news coverage, so they counter-attacked the New York Times by having a circle-jerk about how Reddicliffe was fired from Fox, makes less money now working for the New York Times, and wrote the report because he hates Fox, and additionally, Fox posted altered photos of the two reporters to give them Jew noses, yellow teeth, receding hairlines, and darkened circles around their eyes. So, your average Jew.
Taking on Fark
On August 17, 2007, Fox News attempted to h4x0r Fark and steal their internets. (archive) However, since Fox's crack team of internet counter-hate machines is made up of people who regularly get pwned by script kiddies, they got absolutely nowhere and failed so hard that Rupert Murdoch crapped lazers.
More Valuable Information To Come From Fox News
Statistical Analysis of Fox's broadcasts uncover that it is actually a Porn Channel not a News Channel
Previous Video | Next Video
Still "Fair and Balanced"
Proving they're still a well informed news organization, the Fox 11 report on January 31st, 2008, aimed at "cyber-bullying," included more top notch news reporting about the dangers of the internet. Most of the examples are retarded idiots who can't deal with anyone pointing out the truth of how much of a fag they really are, who then make up shit and go to Faux news for a chance at popularity. Don't miss the surprise cameo from YouTube's biggest crybaby Intellectual Checkmate.
In this screencap, Intellectual Checkmate BAAAWWs about ZOMG SO MEAN Anonymous.
Jump to the good stuff
Keep Fucking that Chicken
This phrase was coined by Faux News anchor Ernie Anastos during a live broadcast of the Jew York City local news.
Previous Video | Next Video |
The quote was an obvious rip-off of chikins producer Frank Perdue's original catchphrase, "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken", which went badly wrong when Anastos tried to use it. The original Perdue campaign also generated unintentional lulz when the Mexican translation of their catchphrase ended up telling people, "It takes a hard man to get your 'chicken' aroused" ("polla" meaning 'dick' in Spanish). It's pretty obvious that Anastos meant this version.
At least now we know what Chikins stands for.
Fox News vs Sesame Street
—Muppet | ||
In November, 2009, Sesame Street included an old skit where Oscar the Grouch gets into an argument over his liberal news show resulting in a caller telling him she's switching to watching Pox News. This -naturally- caused immediate butthurt at the official 'news' channel of the Republican Party prompting Papa Bear O'Reilly to return fire at Sesame Street.
Other butthurt conservatives in the blogosphere were not so kind.
—Butthurt blogger |
—Butthurt conservative. |
Fox now approves of CP?
You watch that? Good. Now watch it again and pause at 1:39. BALEETED Thats right. tittay. 10 year old tittay. Fox news has once again been hypocritical. *big surprise* At the moment /b/ is rampaging, and has started a war against fox. Again. The war has been dubbed Operation PEDOFOX, and many a /b/tard have been sending in reports to various other news networks and even the FCC.
BREAKING NEWS! HACKERS ON STEROIDS PWN FAUX NEWS TWITTER!
On July 4 (lol), 2011, a group of l33t h@xxorz called the Skript kiddie (no, rly!) decided it would be a great idea to hack into the Faux News Politics Twatter, which is apparently shown on Faux, and tweet that Barack Obama had been pwned by Jews in Iowa.
Faux denizens pretended that they hadn't creamed themselves over the prospect of black Jesus getting IRL permb& by calling the attack "malicious" and "false". Meanwhile, all of the 13-year-old boy responsible for the attack watch fearfully from their bedroom windows for the Party Van, before it inevitably shows up to drag them away.
War with Trump
—Donald Trump says what needs to be said to Megyn Kelly | ||
On August 6, 2015, during the GOP debate, Megyn Kelly asked Donald Trump about his past insults towards women in which he replied "Only Rosie O'Donnell". After that he talks about how he doesn't have time to be PC. Later in the debate, she asked him about his Liberal past (since she is unaware that people can evolve on topics).
Later on, Kelly went after The Donald on her show, while Trump retaliated via Twatter causing an ongoing fight between the two. At one point, Roger Ailes demanded that Trump apologizes to Kelly. However, he refused to apologize because he is known for not apologizing.
On September 23, Donald Trump said he would not be on Faux Jews for the forseeable future.[7]
Gallery
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Fox News brainwashing
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Fox shows its true colors.
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Video proof of the Fox Jews Channel.
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ITS A CONSPIRACY!!1!111!
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A typical Fox News web page.
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A new Fox News logo being considered.
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Meanwhile, in Jewnited States of Americunts...
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Hail Xenu
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Contact information for lulz
- Fox’s main number 888-369-4762.
- Kathy Ardleigh, Sen. Politics Producer o Phone: 212-301-3186
- Thom Bird, Fox News Sen. Producer o Phone: 212-301-3250
- Ian Rae, Exec. VP News o Phone: 212-301-8552
- John Moody, Sen VP News o Phone: 212-301-8560
- Brian Lewis, Executive Vice President of Corporate Communications o Phone: 212-301-3331
- Irena Briganti, Vice President of Media Relations o Phone: 212-301-3608
- Brian Knoblock, International Editor o Phone: 212-301-5486
- Kim Schiller Hume, Wash DC Bureau Chief o Phone: 202-824-6389
- Ken LaCorte, Los Angeles Bureau Chief o Phone: 310-571-2000
- Justin Schmidt, Chicago Bureau Chief o Phone: 312-494-0428
- Brit Hume, Managing Editor o Phone: 202-824-6470
- David Asman, Fox News Host o Phone: 212-301-3944
- Shepard Smith, Fox Report Host o Phone: 212-301-3711
- Bill O’Reilly, O’Reilly Factor Host o Phone: 212-301-3320
- Jane Skinner, News Anchor o Phone: 212-301-5023
- John Moody, Sen VP News o Phone: 212-301-8560
- David Asman, Fox News Host o Phone: 212-301-3944
- Shepard Smith, Fox Report Host o Phone: 212-301-3711
External Links
- Fair and balanced audience
- Beware: The Emo Scene!
- FOX 11, news everyone wants.
- FOX LAWL
- NICE ONE FOX
- Nintendo DS: Harmless Fun or sauce of Pedophilia
- wut? orly
Fox News does a report on Tay Zonday(BALEETED!)- Fox Attacks
- An In-Depth Analysis of the Fox Network
- An Impartial Look At Fox News
- OH LAWDS
- It is a well known fact that Fox News can, in fact, cause someone to An Hero, lol
See Also
- Insane
- Cooper Lawrence
- Conservatism
- Drinkingwithbob
- Ian Schwartz
- Masud Ali
- Nazi
- Republican
- Retard
- Russia Today- trendy russkie propaganda network
- The Onion
- Time Magazine
- Protocols of the Elders of Zion
- The Half Hour News Hour - An unfunny, homophobic version of The Daily Show.
- TMZ
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[Spread Propaganda]
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| Featured article July 28, 2007 | ||
| Preceded by Tay Zonday |
Faux News | Succeeded by Ron Mexico |
| Article of the Nao May 12, 2011 | ||
| Preceded by Anonymous |
Faux News | Succeeded by Operation Payback |
| AOTN July 18 and 19, 2012 | ||
| Preceded by Penis Pump |
Faux News | Succeeded by loldongs |