Christopher Walken
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Christopher Walken is an actor of immeasurable talent who nonetheless has become a Pop Culture icon because of his casual weirdness and lulzy mannerisms.
He is rumored to have been spawned from the collective unconscious of Queens, New York on March 31st, 1943, and he appeared as a young kid on television, much to shotacat's approval. His first movie was a Woody Allen movie, before Allen married his daughter and caused lulz in Hollywood. Walken then appeared in at least 100 films although for a total of fifteen minutes average for each movie.
As for teh Internets, Walken was inadvertently responsible for the old meme known as "more cowbell" because he was unfortunate enough to have to utter it at least 100 times in an overrated SNL skit. Now the said meme is heard constantly as a faggotry indicator second in popularity only to rainbows and Europe. Another plague upon the Internets rests on the shoulders of fanfic writers (mostly goth and emo, filled with angst even in their thirties). Many of these people dwell within LiveJournal and IMDb, as well as outside Walken's house at 3 a.m. spraypainting pentacles on his front lawn. Fans consider him an hero and will sacrifice you to the rape spider if you dare mention "Heaven's Gate", "Gigli", et al.
He is quite notorious for appearing in the middle of the movie and making you say "Holy shit, that's Cristopher Walken!!!!11!!1", and is rumored to be a good actor. This is up for much debate though, because nobody can tell for sure as he never usually appears for more than 5 minutes. Also, most of his movies tend to be pretty bad, as he is often called in at the last minute to appear in said bad movies when the studio gets desperate to save their POS movie. He rants about random things for awhile and then saunters off camera. He is therefore listed in the Hollywood Book of Reference under "Emergency". His acting style is to keep the same stonefaced expression the entire time he's on screen, and adding huge emphasis on completely random syllables while sometimes pausing for several seconds in the middle of a sentence.
He has a house in the town of Wilton, Connecticut which is infested with yuppies and emos. He offers plenty of lulz by answering the door wearing underwear and shooting candy out of a BB Gun at kids on Halloween. Basically he's batshit insane.
Walken's IRL Fears
- Driving
- Guns
- Marsupials (because they're fast)
- Heights
- His wife
- Not working
- His own shadow
- Those twisty things at the end of bread wrappers
- Film Critics
- Bad Fanfiction
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In a true act of heroism, Walken fucking owns the biggest fuck in the world
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People actually write fanfic porn about this character. If you're guilty of this, please die now.
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Walken chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool.
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Walken's scariest role evar!!1!
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Trolls doing his fan page great justice.
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Christopher Walken a fucktard, here for the Boobies.
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Walken into One does not simply X into Mordor
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The opposite of Christopher Walken
Chris Walken loves horses and computers.
Weapon of Choice
See also
External Links of Rabid Fandom
- Popular Fan Site
- Collection of lulzy fan letters
- Fake Walken 2008 Site created by Genmay
- Message Board to Walken that he never reads (plz feel free 2 vandalize for the lulz)
- Walken Message Board for sick fucks
- Cooking with Christopher Walken
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Christopher Walken is part of a series on Visit the Media Portal for complete coverage. |
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Christopher Walken is part of a series on Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage. |