Otherkin

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Not a shoop
Owner of Embracing Mystery... But the real mystery is: is this a trap?
"I was a cat in a past life."

Hindu and Buddhist religions believe in reincarnation. I.e., if you spend your time on Earth as an average police officer or behaving like a pig, you come back as a pig in the next; if you spend your life meditating, your next life will be as some energy being. But what sets otherkin apart from this? The difference is that if you spend thousands of dollars on fantasy novels, cosmetic surgery and knick-knacks in this life, you will end up having to be recycled instead of cremated when you die.

Otherkin take it one step further into fantasy by canonizing what fictional creatures are real and what aren't and then claim to be "real" versions of fantasy beings. Despite how there are thousands of creatures from folklore and cryptozoology in cultures around the world, like the humanoid Ebu Gogo of Indonesia (which has not been proven to exist), otherkin don't go for this. In the same way that all furries have their fursona as either foxes, wolves, or blobs of giant penises, most otherkin all believe they are either dragons, werewolves, elves, or boytaurs. Nothing else qualifies as "real" to otherkin.

For maximum trollage you can also confuse them with roleplayers.

Otherkin take it even further in that not one of them is even familiar with ancient mythology and just believes whatever distortion of it the 20th century shat out. For instance, no otherkin elves are of the original folklore variety. If you see an otherkin saying they're an elf that was a tall, thin, pointy-eared, immortal tree-hugger, then remind them that Tolkien made that version up. If you see an otherkin claiming to be a faerie that wasn't a demon that terrorized people gave human sacrifices to, then that's the Disneyfication of original faerie myths.

At some point, otherkin lost track of what's from pop culture's bastardized version of ancient mythology and what's just made up and thus became otakukin, otherkins based on Chris-chan/Sonichu and L. Ron Hubbard fiction. Some otherkin are so desperate to be unique that they'll end up making up their own creature that no one else knows about and therefore is uber powerful.

Otherkin are often compared to furries because all are into yiffing and furry porn, but while furries have a vague sense (a very vague sense) that they're not really their fursona, otherkin are as dedicated to their lifestyle as Goreans.

I Am What I Amn't

If it looks even more like a crime against nature than a furry—it's an otherkin.
This is the typical past life memory that otherkin recover.
FUCK YOU I'M A NAGA
Fuck you, I'm a vampire mermaid!

Otherkin on LiveJournal always have icons of whatever they're supposed to be. These are invariably physically attractive, if only to them. Their sex drives are usually warped by severe Asperger's Syndrome, which of course excuses all poor behavior and/or acts in bad faith ever, making you mean for noticing the obvious lulz.

Without exception, Otherkin are unhappy, depressed individuals who need to escape from reality for one reason or another. Many will attribute this and their inability to maintain jobs, spouses and successful lives to their mysterious condition of Jew, meaning that their angelic/demonic/draconic/negronic/"fifth invader force" heritage is effectively preventing them from making an effort at anything other than chatting online with other "kin", reading Robert Jordan books, playing EverQuest or any other number of activities that will not improve their quality of life.

Most are not delusional to begin with, but the comfort of their imagined heritage eventually manifests itself as hallucinations, phantom limbs and "traits" concurrent with their chosen creature. It can be seen as the unhealthy progression of an initial interest in Wicca and fantasy literature. Otherkin are usually hopelessly lame, unless they are jazz artist Sun Ra.

To try to change their image, otherkin like Jarin Dreamsinger are trying to rename themselves to 'Kin to the Other. Many will claim to have Multiple personality disorder, with all or most of their "alters" also being Otherkin. Many of them enjoy attacking innocent bystanders with big poles, or going equipped to kill people in the guise that they are teaching vampire hunters a lesson.

You can learn more about their fucked up behavior from this website, which is definitely worth a read if you want to laugh. They are susceptible to hard core trolling on the basis that they send an approval e-mail the second you register your account. The admin there believes he is a vampire in human form that will later be anally violated by a vampire in dead form, which will turn him into a mega vampire in anal form, which will cause him to shit blood and eat turd, or something equally dramatic.[1] Apparently being a vampire hunter is of particular concern to them, as it threatens their position as the most delusional retards at risk of anal violation on the planet. [2]

How Otherkin Awaken

An awakening is when a mundane realizes that they are otherkin. It can be artificially induced by Eyovah's awakening image here (you can tell it's pro by teh Comic Sans) or it can happen naturally like the below:

 
 
Didnt Son of Sam start out the same way?

Tathaenhi Tanaath Ari'thaan describes her 'awakening':

'My friend Anna went to Japan and brought me back a small iron dragon which I kept as a good luck charm. He was silent for 2 years. Then he suddenly started talking to me.'

I'm guessing four, maybe five years until bodies start appearing in the crawlspace under her house...
 


 

http://friends.portalofevil.com/post.php?pi=1000019587&Q=Y


A psychological explanation behind an "otherkin awakening" is that they are losers who will do and say anything to feel like they are special, to give their lives meaning. A typical "otherkin" will be fed up with how much he or she sucks. They have no friends and nobody likes them; nobody ever will. Since girls don't like them, they either do the following:a) they become gay or b)they become furfags since human females will never go near them. Being fed up with life, but too cowardly to do the world a favor and commit suicide, they take refuge in pretending that they are somebody. They begin to pretend that they live another life in another world as a dragon or elf or whatever helps them feel better about themselves. Eventually, they begin to have dreams about being a dragon. Being the desperate low-life fucks that they are, desperate for any "sign" that their lives mean something, they confuse these dreams with memories. After all, that is the ONLY logical explanation right? It is a very sad thing to witness. All attempts to cure this psychological sickness have failed, after all, it would mean for these "otherkin" to give up their only means of feeling special admit that they ARE human and that they ARE not, in fact, special. Therefore, the only way to cure this sickness is to put them to sleep. A good way to do this is to copy and paste this explanation in an otherkin chat room. It will cause them to confront reality, whether they like it or not and either 3 things will happen: you will be banned or they will kill themselves, or both.

How To Know If You Are Otherkin

The official way to know if you are otherkin is to keep a journal that includes what you craved, did, dreamt, felt, pills you popped, and the size, color, and consistency of all your bowel movements. You must ask yourself all manner of questions from philosophical, religious, to questions of who you are. In other words, it's an excuse to be a self-wrapped-up emo as you wonder who you are - just like everybody else did as a teenager. If you flew in your dream, does this mean you are a cool dragon? If you got bullied by someone at school, does this mean you are a special outcast who has special powers?

The accepted answer to the question "are you otherkin" is that you are whatever you think you are. No one can tell you otherwise. If one day you feel sleepy and you think that means that you are a gigantic sleeping dragon, then you are, and if the next day you feel hyper, then you can be an active fox. Tack on one of the following for bonus points: halo, wings, powers, shapeshifting, languages that don't exist.

Realistically? No, idiot, you're more likely to have colon cancer or be a secret sharer than be some kind of magical creature. Unless, that is, you're reading (or better, writing) Encyclopaedia Dramatica, in which case you should know you're a troll. In our past lives we used to eat all these otherkin for lunch. Come to think of it, we still do.

Otherkin "Hobbies"

Once awakened, Otherkin like to engage in a wide variety of mostly online activities. All of them can be overlapped with "and being batshit insane".

Attention Seeking

The main reason that anyone is an Otherkin because these attention whores have not done anything with their lives. They have to think of something edgy that they can call themselves, and so they search around on tumblr until they find the hot new fad, "Otherkin". "This will make everyone stare at me!" they think to themselves as they begin to pull ideas out of their ass, "I know! I'll say I'm a dragon!" . And so their attention seeking orgy begins as they share their retardation to the rest of the world in the hopes of people stopping and staring at them as they spread their social justice bullshit.

Drama Bombing

Illiterate, moronic criticism is a feared side-effect of talking to otherkin

Otherkin are frequently panned by the Portal of Evil, while largely unnoticed by Something Awful. LiveJournal's most famous otherkin is perhaps _starblade_, who always makes an ass of himself in LJ's debate community. From the ashes of a huge thread about Christian and otherkin came the catchphrase, "fuck you, I'm a dragon!"

The song I want to be a dragon summarizes the Otherkin lifestyle.

Wikipedophiles have written a longass novel called Talk:Otherkin. There's also an ultra-condensed summary of Talk:Otherkin titled Otherkin, explaining that Otherkin are online losers who're retards according to all established science.

An easy way to create drama is to go through otherkins' accounts of past life memories and "astral plane adventures" and point out the parts stolen from Dungeons & Dragons.

Glamour Bombing

kill all knife-ears and knife-ear lovers
Popular otherkin activity

Glamour Bombing is where fat, delusional "fairy-kin" run around downtown in your city nekkid except for a cowboy hat, face paint, a tutu and fairy wings, to, you know, freak the mundanes and stuff.

Most people who "glamor bomb" are stupid Burner fucks and/or have probably never held on to even the simplest fast-food job for more than a week at best. They live off their very disappointed mommy's money and/or Government Welfare checks.

If caught "Glamour Bombing" they will try to "set you straight" with "majikal facts" like how they do not believe indigo is a color. They also think elves invented the nuke.

Recently, a bit of speculation was floated that elven magick (now with a "k" for EXTRA phear!) was responsible for the creation of the atomic bomb. In fact, there even was an "Elven holocaust" to cover up the fact that elves created the nuke! Fer realz, guiz!

Intellectual Bombing

He's getting his fangs next week. A pity he missed his calling as a semen vampire.

Even though they will admit to having dropped out of college after their first or second semester, to spend more time watching Adult Swim, almost all otherkin have multiple PhDs. Their doctorates are usually held in whatever field of study is most relevant to the current debate that they are engaged in. Therefore it is totally possible for an otherkin to announce today that they hold a PhD in psychology, astrophysics, and nuclear medicine only to inform you tomorrow that they also have advanced degrees in computer science, civil engineering, and ancient history.

You may also notice that many otherkin who have multiple doctorates are in their teens and early 20's, which of course would make them far more intelligent than the average person. This may be difficult to believe considering that every argument with an otherkin will eventually just end up with those who disagree with him being repeatedly called "closed minded", no matter what the facts of the argument may be.

Amazingly enough, as if the 12 college degrees at the age of 21 isn’t impressive enough, it is mandatory that all otherkin have an intimate knowledge of the covert military operations and classified secrets of every government on earth. This way they can explain to all "non-believers" how it is that science has not discovered their existence. As it was explained by one "otherkin" by the name of "AccronsCrow" on the Lilith’s Lair EZ-Board, all of the world governments, every educational system and every media outlet in the world are participating in a global conspiracy to keep the "truth about otherkin" a hidden secret (which in itself raises an interesting question - if this is such a closely-guarded secret, why are "real otherkin" allowed to speak so freely about it? The smell of bullshit wafts).

Infighting

As with furry forums, otherkin forums are highly unstable and drama can easily erupt without any outside interference. Newcomers were frequently told to GTFO after being accused by forum regulars of roleplaying, although most forums stopped doing this after the admins realized that they needed all the support they can get.

Unfortunately, most otherkin boards won't let you view their contents without an account and thus will attempt to hide such problems from the "mundanes". Because, obviously, otherkin are perfect and are therefore above such squabbling.

Otherkin are so pathetic that they can't even agree within their own community which kins are 'legit' and which ones aren't. The wolvekin attack the animekin and the fictionkin attack the tinfoilkin to prove which one is real in this fuckfest of special-snowflake syndrome. What they don't realise however is that every last one of them is full of shit.

Trolling otherkin

An easy way to troll otherkin is to claim to be Otherkin, but use a creature out of L. Ron Hubbard mythology, such as the Arslychus, Coltice, Espinol, Helatrobus, Hoipolloi, Marcabians, Maw, and Targs. An even easier way is to pretend to be an otakukin or a Na'viKin.

With the release of Avatar, of course, otherkin communities such as the batshit insanity that is otherkin.com (and the internet at large, actually) now have people claiming to be "Na'vi otherkin". The first Na'vikin was furiously denied. That is some pretty leet trolling, having pretty much raped otherkin.com into saying retarded things like "I'm a polyshifting dragon but you can't be a Na'vi" and "pff you are crazy fantasist" (pot kettle black much?) as well as causing a veritable shitstorm across the internets. This is because Na'vikin are otakukin, a cousin of otherkin who they usually despise. There is even moar potential drama in this, so DO IT FAGGOT!!!1!1

Whichever you do, the result will be a massive flame war over whether you should be accepted into their forum or not.


   
 
fuck you all anyway, I'M a Native American otherkin. im half Cherokee and half Gryffon.

yet despite all my kewl powers, i STILL have to work nightshifts replenishing shelves at Safeway for £5.25 per hour.

you would think that being so cool i would have figured a way to use my unique ways to make some proper bucks, but hey, your wrong! otherkin AREN'T sad,lonely weirdos,and we cope with reality just fine, thank you.
 


 
 

— Hypnotekk, trolling teh youtube otherkins.

It also is a lot of fun to tell any otherkin who claims to be unsure of what kind of mythical critter they supposedly are that there's a good chance they are actually human. Be sure to change it up a little each time to avoid getting nailed for copypasta. Always heap on loads of sympathy for the fucktard-in-training and talk about how wonderful human beings are and all of the amazing superhuman achievements they have made (like the A-bomb). Not only will it irk the otherkin who will, no doubt, be spewing random creatures pulled from their Monster Manuals at the newbie up until you post, there's a chance of getting amusing batshit insane replies from the newbie who has no idea what they could possibly be other than human yet is so damned sure they are not human. Only nonhumans can post on an Otherkin forum or they will be zapped by the fairies, right? Right?

You could also start up a thread about assburgers and other similar disorders Otherkin are plagued by and see how many reply. Try to get the entire forum to reply.

Yet another way of trolling otherfags: Make a throwaway account on tumblr and spam the otherkin, therian, theriantrhopy, nonhuman and fictionkin tags with shitposts, Goatse, posts saying they're faggots and posts calling them furfags. They get butthurt, Incontinent Student Bodies and write rants about ignoring the trolls.

And lastly, a note for those who wish to troll otherkin IRL: If they identify as a non-human, it is legal to deny them human rights.

Example of trolling otherkin

Otherkin, even with their over 9000 PhDs cannot discern between truth and fiction which results in major lulz: apparently Mario is real and haunts them in their sleep. Some guy actually figured it out and whined about it but got flamed. There was even a Fuck you, I'm a dragon!! The original transcript is TL;DR so the following is a condensed version sanitized from all the smart people's comments, the trolls are Babby_kin and Bawb:

Use scrollbar to see the full image


On July 29, 2009, a truly epic group of four friends infiltrated otherkin.com for nothing but lulz. The result was that the one designated to be kind to the Otherkin was banned, and the guy who spammed their boards and broke every single rule in one post (EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.) continues to be registered to this day. This once and for all proved that Otherkin are nothing but truly confused bastards (a.k.a. You).

Special Mention:Therianthropy

He was a squirrel in a past life, but now he's just nuts.

Therianthropy, meaning "beast man" in Greek, is the unholy love child of otherkin and furfaggotry. In place of dragons and elves, you get wolves, more wolves, and a tiger or two. Therians often enjoy using their "spiritual nature" as an excuse for bad behavior, much like how aspies use theirs as an excuse to be an ass hat, only this time you'll have "I'm sorry I'm such a slut, but my "theriotype" doesn't mate for life" or "I ate my stepson because I'm a lion in a human body, and lions always kill the offspring of another male when they take over a pride."

Like furries, they are the most ill represented group of people, and get trolled IRL worse than Gays, niggers, and Jews. Most of them will try to tell you that it's not all about running around naked growling and trying to bite people, but a deep profound connection to animals (that somehow doesn't include bestiality) and glorified misanthropy and acting like a dick by crawling around a public place meowing. To troll a therianthrope, simply ask it why there are so many wolf therianthropes and practically no others? Posing this question on an Otherkin forum is guaranteed to start a massive defensive flamewar. Claiming that all therianthropes are wannabe werewolves who changed their title to sound cool will also result in many a sore butt. Gently reminding a therianthrope that they called themselves 'lycans', a term stolen from a cheap werewolf movie, a few years back may also result in trollish gold.

Ironically, they'll sit at the computer, possibly stuffing their face with Doritos® while bitching about how cruel people are for failing to respect and understand the need they have for public urination and growling at everyone that takes their parking space.

For an example of a therian that can shapeshift between human and true form, see Psion Guild.

Otherkin-Human War

Typical post about the otherkin-human war

Most otherkin believe that The Otherkin-Human war will soon happen. The explanations are extremely TL;DR, but the basic idea is that otherkin see lots of battles happening on the astral plane that get worse and worse and they know that very soon the veil will fall causing the planes will open up, and most people will spontaneously awaken and then permanently shapeshift into their otherkin forms. Of couse as humans hate all non humans this means war and not a new age of enlightenment.

An alternate theory is that it won't be that bad, but simply a lot of people will see Eyovah's awakening image and become otherkin. Eyovah is a reiki master who made an image that anyone who sees it spontaneously, through reiki, awakens as an otherkin. Eyovah is now dead, which most otherkin believe he was murdered to make it look like a suicide and they suspect Rialian and Jarandel but there's no evidence at all, so they of course spout conspiracy theories. So when enough people see his awakening image and awaken, then Eyovah will rise from the dead as The Messiah to lead a lot of basement dwellers to war against the humans.

Otherkin Civil War

Otherkin are so pathetic that they even argue within their own hugbox about who is the specialist snowflake and whose 'kin' is real. The Catkin go after the mermaidkin for not existing, the mermaidkin go after the fictionkin for not being completely made up, the fictionkin go after the stonekin for not being sentient and the stonekin do the necessary procedure to have the mindset of their true form. The whole debate within the otherkin community can be fixed by pointing out that every last one of them is full of shit; however they are all too stupid to listen.

TL;DR


Otherkin are either:
  1. Attention-Whoring Special Snowflakes or
  2. Insane people.

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