Fansy the Famous Bard

Fansy the Famous Bard (Better known simply as Fansy or Fansie) is an oldskool troll from back in the beginning days of EverQuest, possibly making him the first MMO troll to have existed. Perhaps the most lulzy note is that Fansy didn't just troll any server on EQ. He trolled the PvP Sullon Zek server that claimed to have zero rules. (Spoiler: Rules were added after he finished wreaking havoc) In short, Fansy single-handedly forced the hand of the EverQuest GMs to severely alter the game rules, thus changing the standards of anti-troll preventative measures in all future online games.

	“	Pansie shouts, 'GO GO GOOD TEAM!!'	„
	—Trolling as a art

Main Plot LOLOGS

*"you want revenge, target and stun the bard"*

Luckily, even though Fansy didn't really have any trolls to model himself after, he handled his exploits like an expert and actually logged and screencapped the unprecedented anger he stewed amongst the Y2K Old School neckbeards. And, like a fine wine, this nerdrage has only gotten more delicious as the decades pass on.

GO-GO GOOD TEAM!!!

Fansy began his mission to troll EverQuest using simple but elegant techniques. The exploit was in the Bard; having the fastest speed in the game with an included Haste buff to compensate for his incredibly shitty stats, Fansy was able to outrun every single monster in the game. Fansy would run around the wilderness gathering up a ton of assorted, stupidly powerful mobs, and then drag them into town or near a clique of player-killers. The mob would instantly kill Fansy and then overwhelm and slaughter everyone else in the area. Specifically he would target high-leveled player-killers in the most dangerous PvP zones, but nobody could do shit about it because PvP was only open to characters level 6 and over. Hilarity ensued.

	“	Many evil jerks found they could not kill me because of my super powers.	„
	—Fansy being Fansy

[Sun Jul 08 05:51:43 2001] You shout, 'time to die bad guys!'
[Sun Jul 08 05:52:10 2001] Xraal says out of character, 'Someone root his ass.'
[Sun Jul 08 05:52:21 2001] Vass says out of character, 'can't he's lvl 5.. ('
[Sun Jul 08 05:52:53 2001] You shout, 'Mirthanal Mrar has protected me from root spells!'
[Sun Jul 08 05:53:18 2001] Blakbaard shouts, 'more like protected you from ' reality''

BAN FUCKING EVERYTHING

[Sat Jul 07 23:39:31 2001] Kailkhan shouts, 'o well then what you gonna do? petition his queere ass '
[Sat Jul 07 09:32:58 2001] Alix shouts, 'dude everyone petition him this is harrashment'
[Sat Jul 07 23:37:09 2001] Alix shouts, 'training is allowed, but dedicating a char just to training and nothing else isn't'
[Sat Jul 07 14:18:55 2001] Albertino says out of character, 'u can be sure there will petition now several guys ... i dont think u will be much longer on this server'
[Sat Jul 07 14:17:29 2001] Abyss says out of character, 'if the whole zone petitions the GM's will get pissed'
[Sat Jul 07 06:01:41 2001] Skratchen says out of character, 'well i dont petition much but ive done it on him,,hes using an exploit to do this '
[Sat Jul 07 06:02:57 2001] Ziggruk says out of character, 'i smell exploit'
[Sat Jul 07 06:14:22 2001] Pudge says out of character, 'well , someone let a gm know bring it to there attention , could have over looked it'
[Sat Jul 07 06:27:03 2001] Feran says out of character, 'report him'
[Sat Jul 07 14:16:29 2001] Bawa says out of character, 'u want another petition'
[Sat Jul 07 14:17:02 2001] Albertino says out of character, 'ok now ye get banned'
[Sat Jul 07 14:24:16 2001] Vindolin says out of character, 'should i petition?'
[Sat Jul 07 14:24:21 2001] Albertino says out of character, 'ya'
[Sat Jul 07 14:24:49 2001] Ansalon says out of character, 'heis EXPLOITING the rule of no PvP under lvl 6'
[Sat Jul 07 14:25:01 2001] Albertino says out of character, 'this is an exploit'
[Sat Jul 07 14:27:43 2001] Zimzalabim says out of character, 'just petition and see what u get out of it...then we have result hehe'
[Sat Jul 07 23:36:22 2001] Alix shouts, 'the gm told me that if fansy starts training people again to petition him because he has been warned'
[Sun Jul 08 01:53:00 2001] Kordesh shouts, 'I don't care what I have to do. I don't care if I get banned in the process. I will e-mail, petition, and post untill that faggot is banned!'
[Sun Jul 08 01:56:19 2001] Malkov shouts, 'i say we petition the GM's to power pansy to lvl 6 so we can all root him!'
[Sun Jul 08 01:58:25 2001] Kirel shouts, 'this is what I am petitioning... " would you please make pansy L6 so that we can do something about his unfair advantage in PVP tactics?'
[Sun Jul 08 04:00:30 2001] Ravenbane says out of character, 'petitioned for harrasment'

The rage grows...

[Sat Jul 07 05:16:12 2001] Lorkast shouts, 'having no life at all must suck fansy'
[Sat Jul 07 05:11:45 2001] Viktrol says out of character, 'cause he has no life let him feel
cool'
[Sat Jul 07 06:05:14 2001] Zorlon says out of character, 'The standard person like fansy is a lil kid who gets whipped daily and takes his agression out in a game like this'
[Sat Jul 07 06:05:44 2001] Oblivioun says out of character, 'the dude obviously cant make friends in RL so he just kills ppl'
[Sat Jul 07 06:07:00 2001] Pudge says out of character, 'looks like someone never got that train set when he was 4'
[Sat Jul 07 06:25:22 2001] Azphemira shouts, 'I thought i would say this while medding.... Fansy... is a prime example of a child that is neglected ,, his parents wished they didnt have him..and his mom may have wished an abortion,,now he feels the need to take his anger all day out on people '
[Sat Jul 07 06:25:44 2001] You shout, 'My horrible secret revealed!'
[Sat Jul 07 07:28:12 2001] Coner tells you, 'u have NO LIFE'
[Sat Jul 07 07:28:22 2001] You told Coner, '/cry'
[Sat Jul 07 07:28:36 2001] Coner tells you, '/ bunchg u in the pace '
[Sat Jul 07 07:28:41 2001] You told Coner, 'ouchie!'
[Sat Jul 07 07:28:48 2001] Coner tells you, '/ punch u in the face'
[Sat Jul 07 07:28:54 2001] You told Coner, 'ouch again!'
[Sat Jul 07 07:29:23 2001] Coner tells you, 'STFU u low life u have nothin better to do becuz u ar stupid'
[Sat Jul 07 09:47:13 2001] Npus shouts, 'well fansy, if you suck at everything else in life, I guess you gotta be good at something'
[Sat Jul 07 10:24:08 2001] Oblivioun shouts, 'this proves he has no life what so ever not even on eq lol he been doingt his last 3 days for hours on end'
[Sat Jul 07 07:25:49 2001] Thegl shouts, 'fansy did your dad rape you again this morning, is that why you have to express yourself in such a cowardly manner'
[Sat Jul 07 10:24:54 2001] Oblivioun shouts, 'like i said his daddy must have treated him wrong when he was young and now he letting his anger out'
[Sat Jul 07 10:25:30 2001] You say out of character, 'EQ is the only outlet for my teenage angst'
[Sat Jul 07 10:36:40 2001] Sohnya says out of character, 'lol guess he got nothing else to do in life has to feel proud of something 8)'
[Sat Jul 07 10:38:04 2001] Oblivioun shouts, 'fancy your 30 years old got no life live at home with mom and pick bugers do your thing with playboy everynight its the best youll get'
[Sat Jul 07 14:12:08 2001] Grogg tells you, 'u really have no life but to train sg s on ppl, its just a game'
[Sat Jul 07 14:12:23 2001] You told Grogg, 'train simulators are games'
[Sun Jul 08 01:21:59 2001] Tribilin says out of character, 'I bet Fansy is 14 years old at the most'
[Sun Jul 08 01:22:36 2001] Tribilin says out of character, 'you are gay'
[Sun Jul 08 01:25:53 2001] Tribilin says out of character, 'you frustrated cause they ran out of clearasil at the store?'
[Sun Jul 08 01:26:31 2001] Drakavin shouts, 'OMG fansy do you have a life'
[Sun Jul 08 01:35:26 2001] Tribilin says out of character, 'whaats wrong fancy? moma wont let you go out play with the rest of the kids?'
[Sun Jul 08 03:58:47 2001] Sinill tells you, 'i bet everyone in RL hates you too huh'
[Sun Jul 08 04:05:54 2001] Arial says out of character, 'I think he may have a bit of schizophrenia...He answers his own questions frequently.'
[Mon Jul 09 07:41:42 2001] Runbit says out of character, 'The mentality of a person who would waste hours and hours of his own time in this game just to waste others time and make them miserable is rather disturbing'
[Sun Jul 08 06:01:17 2001] Jolt says out of character, 'were you abused?'
[Mon Jul 09 07:42:03 2001] Bladek says out of character, 'Hes going to pull the next school shooting'
[Sun Jul 08 16:29:02 2001] Elektrum says out of character, 'fansy is upset because he's overweight IRL'
[Sun Jul 08 16:29:27 2001] You say out of character, 'Hey! That's just extra insulation for the winter'

Fansy makes a friend

Fansy began rolling with a girl named Pansie; presumably somebody he knows in the IRLs. It was with this person that he would tagteam troll for years to come.

[Sun Jul 08 01:08:30 2001] Pansie tells you, 'you had quite the conversation happening about you'
[Sun Jul 08 01:08:48 2001] You told Pansie, 'yeah, apparently I'm 14, fat, homosexual, have no life and hate the world'
[Sun Jul 08 01:08:58 2001] Pansie tells you, 'Wow, me too!'

The jews finally get to Fansy

After slaying an estimated 350 users and causing the largest shitstorm of the gaming community within a span of four days, the jew finally caught up to Fansy and forced him to stop. After that, their "no-rule" zone was no longer "no rules".

[Mon Jul 09 08:10:42 2001] Djembe tells you, 'Hello this is GM Djembe do you have a moment?'
[Mon Jul 09 08:10:47 2001] * GM-Admin *[60 Warlock] Djembe (Erudite) ZONE: oasis
[Mon Jul 09 08:10:52 2001] You told Djembe, 'sure'
[Mon Jul 09 08:11:03 2001] Djembe tells you, 'we need to talk about your zone disruption you are causing.'
Mon Jul 09 08:11:18 2001] You told Djembe, 'Alright. I have petitioned several times to ask if it was a problem'
[Mon Jul 09 08:11:32 2001] You told Djembe, 'One guide said it was perfectly legal, so I continued.'
[Mon Jul 09 08:12:15 2001] Djembe tells you, 'I would say it is legal if you were of a level where others could take recourse on you. But at level 5 they cannot do that now can they?'
[Mon Jul 09 08:12:49 2001] You told Djembe, 'Very true, which is why I chose this level.'
[Mon Jul 09 08:13:15 2001] You told Djembe, 'There were no rules against it when I began. Is one being created?'
[Mon Jul 09 08:13:38 2001] Djembe tells you, 'there has always been a rule about zone disruptions.'
[Mon Jul 09 08:15:07 2001] Djembe tells you, 'at some point you will get board of this little trick, and possibly venture on up in levels... what do you think you are doing to your reputation at this time?'
[Mon Jul 09 08:15:30 2001] You told Djembe, 'I don't care what the bad guys think of me.'
[Mon Jul 09 08:16:26 2001] You told Djembe, 'Can you repeat to me the rule of zone disruption? I'm having trouble finding it on the everquest.com site'
[Mon Jul 09 08:17:35 2001] Djembe tells you, 'let me pull the reference'
[Mon Jul 09 08:20:13 2001] Djembe tells you, 'rule 13 applies because the Play Nice Policy is removed due to players being able to resolve this conflict through combat. You have nullified the rule in that they cannot take recourse.'
[Mon Jul 09 08:20:38 2001] You told Djembe, 'Alright. Would this apply to a team member training his own team?'
[Mon Jul 09 08:21:00 2001] Djembe tells you, 'I am more concerned wiith zone disruptions'
[Mon Jul 09 08:16:03 2001] Djembe tells you, 'I would say you are not breaking rules other than causing a zone disruption. It is warnable, but not terminable'
(My account is about 1 warning away from being banned, so I dropped it.)
[Mon Jul 09 08:21:25 2001] You told Djembe, 'Djembe, since you want me to stop, I will.'
[Mon Jul 09 08:22:01 2001] Djembe tells you, 'ok, great I am glad we had this talk.'
[Mon Jul 09 08:22:47 2001] Djembe tells you, 'be safe and stay well'

	“	LATER ALL I WONT MISS ANY OF YOU. I AM MOVING ON TO A BETTER MMOTS	„
	—Fansy saying his goodbyes

Additional LOLOGS

A/S/L?

	“	I tried talking to the ppls to get to know them better, but as you can see here THEY ARE EVIL so they dont want to chat.	„
	—Fansy the Famous Bard

[Thu Jul 05 01:55:39 2001] You auction, 'A/S/L?'
[Thu Jul 05 01:55:54 2001] You say out of character, '14/M here, any hot girls wanna chat?'
[Thu Jul 05 01:56:00 2001] Ashbastak says out of character, 'wtf '
[Thu Jul 05 01:56:04 2001] Kordesh says out of character, 'qqbody qsnts eo dhey wdtn a pokom k'
[Thu Jul 05 01:56:05 2001] Ashbastak says out of character, 'LEAVE '
[Thu Jul 05 01:56:05 2001] Raijen says out of character, 'fansy u trying ot get girls in EQ?'
[Thu Jul 05 01:56:05 2001] Mantras says out of character, 'LOL HAHAHAHAHA'
[Thu Jul 05 01:56:07 2001] Raijen says out of character, 'ROFL'
[Thu Jul 05 01:56:18 2001] Quik says out of character, 'LEAVE NOW'
[Thu Jul 05 01:56:20 2001] Ashbastak says out of character, 'DONT SPEAK'
[Thu Jul 05 01:56:22 2001] Quik says out of character, 'TURN OFF YER COMP'
[Thu Jul 05 01:56:23 2001] Ashbastak says out of character, 'LEAVE'
[Thu Jul 05 01:56:28 2001] Pyrro says out of character, 'get out'
[Thu Jul 05 01:56:36 2001] Ashbastak says out of character, 'PULL A TOASTER INTO THE BATHTUB WITH YOURSELF'
[Thu Jul 05 01:56:41 2001] Pyrro says out of character, 'not the place for such a thing'
[Thu Jul 05 01:56:44 2001] Kordesh says out of character, 'ihen unplug wt'
[Thu Jul 05 01:56:45 2001] Healies says out of character, 'onh ask svun s likd fin!'
[Thu Jul 05 01:16:38 2001] You say out of character, 'You ppls need to speak comon I can't undestand you'
[Thu Jul 05 01:16:53 2001] Markith says out of character, 'theyre saying Fansy rocks!'
[Thu Jul 05 01:16:57 2001] You say out of character, 'Yes!'
[Thu Jul 05 01:17:10 2001] You say out of character, 'Are they hot chicks?'

Fansy Beats EverQuest

[Thu Jul 05 00:22:22 2001] You shout, 'I won the game!'
[Thu Jul 05 00:22:43 2001] You shout, 'I found the end to EQ and I won! Congrats fansy!'
[Thu Jul 05 00:22:55 2001] Icedeciever says out of character, 'LOL'
[Thu Jul 05 00:23:00 2001] Kablewey says out of character, 'LOL'
[Thu Jul 05 00:23:01 2001] Niiel says out of character, 'on ignore fansy'
[Thu Jul 05 00:23:04 2001] Shralok says out of character, 'YAY fansy'
[Thu Jul 05 00:23:07 2001] Bodyjack shouts, 'shut upp fansy '
[Thu Jul 05 00:23:09 2001] You say out of character, 'thanks!'
[Thu Jul 05 00:23:10 2001] Blarey says out of character, 'lol :)'
[Thu Jul 05 00:23:18 2001] Icedeciever shouts, 'GRATZ FANSY'
[Thu Jul 05 00:23:26 2001] Esrom shouts, 'You would think the name of the game would be a no brainer.. EVERQuest'
[Thu Jul 05 00:23:28 2001] Xqixx shouts, 'aww i didnt get to play :('
[Thu Jul 05 00:23:37 2001] Blarey shouts, 'GRATZ FANSY ON BEING THE BIGGED FAGGOT IN THE GAME !!!~~~'
[Thu Jul 05 00:23:47 2001] Kablewey shouts, 'lol'
[Thu Jul 05 00:23:55 2001] Nizzar shouts, 'good job pansy'
[Thu Jul 05 00:24:33 2001] Gubza says out of character, 'did you have to train hard to be this much of a dumbass fansy ? or is it natural ?'
[Thu Jul 05 00:24:40 2001] Bodyjack shouts, 'fansy your going to die a lot'

Fansy's Grandpa

[Sun Jul 08 02:11:06 2001] Rivers tells you, 'you are the supreme coward, u dont fight u train with a loophole, you are the lamest excuse for a human being i have ever met'
[Sun Jul 08 02:11:52 2001] You told Rivers, 'What's your favorite Skittle? Mine is orange.'
[Sun Jul 08 02:12:10 2001] Rivers tells you, 'when u get pubic hair we talk.'
[Sun Jul 08 02:12:36 2001] You told Rivers, 'Why are you interested in pubic hair?'
[Sun Jul 08 02:14:36 2001] You told Rivers, 'My grandpa was like that, he kept shaving his off and taping it to his head. Nobody said anything about it, but the police did arrest him for shaving at the buffet line in Furrs'
[Sun Jul 08 02:16:08 2001] Rivers tells you, 'where you live?'
[Sun Jul 08 02:16:42 2001] Rivers tells you, 'what's your adress?'

Fansy Is Ignored

[Sun Jul 08 18:03:28 2001] You shout, 'Giants love the good guys! Hooray!'
[Sun Jul 08 18:03:44 2001] Makes tells you, 'that was real cute, asshole'
[Sun Jul 08 18:04:03 2001] You told Makes, 'Thank you!'
[Sun Jul 08 18:04:30 2001] Makes tells you, 'welcome to ignore'
[Sun Jul 08 18:04:45 2001] You told Makes, 'one time a friend ignored me for 2 days'
[Sun Jul 08 18:05:00 2001] You told Makes, 'it was some serious cold-shouldering'
[Sun Jul 08 18:06:10 2001] You told Makes, 'I was so bothered by it, whenever I called his house and he hung up I would just keep talking prteending he was there'
[Sun Jul 08 18:06:17 2001] You told Makes, 'until the BEEP BEEP BEEP sound anyway'
[Sun Jul 08 18:06:50 2001] You told Makes, 'You know Makes, I feel like I could tell you anything'

Punny as fuck

[Sun Jul 08 02:04:47 2001] Pansie shouts, 'Has anyone seen my Ghoulfriend?'
[Sun Jul 08 02:05:07 2001] You shout, 'I saw her with a zombie....'
[Sun Jul 08 02:05:25 2001] Pansie shouts, 'Why that two-timing...'
[Sun Jul 08 02:08:51 2001] Pansie tells the group, 'oopsie'
[Sun Jul 08 02:09:31 2001] You tell your party, 'ghoulfriend angry?'
[Sun Jul 08 02:09:54 2001] Pansie tells the group, 'Yeah, she said she was going home to mummy'

Choice Quotes

	“	[Wed Jul 04 21:33:20 2001] Fansy says 'look out a train of monsters! AAAH' [Wed Jul 04 21:33:27 2001] Fansy says 'like a normal train but with monsters!' [Wed Jul 04 21:33:34 2001] Fansy says 'instead of engines, cars, cabooses, etc.'	„
	—Fansy in his element

	“	[Thu Jul 05 00:19:35 2001] Vehementer says 'nice ass hole' [Thu Jul 05 00:19:46 2001] Fansy says 'Thanks! I'm a virgin' [Thu Jul 05 00:20:45 2001] Vehementer says 'you're a fucking idiot'	„
	—Long before anyone knew the golden rule of the internet

	“	Sand Giant so big Sand Giant so strong You keep the bad guy out of the sand And with 10 of you its a marching band Evil clerics drop with no pain And your face is beautiful, like Saddam Hussein	„
	—Fansy showing off his trade as a bard.