KurtBatz

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The man bat himself

KurtBatz is a furry dramawhore from the good ole country who suffers from being fabulous, the irresistible urge to stalk, and the chronic inability to understand other hoomans. He is, according to his LiveJournal, "soft as shit really," but recent research implies that he may simply be shit. He has started at least 100 righteous wars on the internet and is a gigantic faggot. He also honestly believes that he is a bat, displaying such a fervor in this belief that it almost makes other furries look normal.

KurtBatz is a faggot

Kurt is (according to reliable sources) a 27-year-old loser who still lives with his parents. His LiveJournal is friends only since Kurt doesn't want "creepy stalkers with mental disorders" trolling him, but ED's leet hackers laugh at such things. Observers have confirmed that the blood requirement of his e-penis exceeds the amount his body can produce, and he can only maintain physical function by trolling others at the slightest excuse. His vocabulary includes brilliant insults like "bumblefuck", "clownshoes" and "drama-llama," implying mental retardation of a very special variety. Although entry unto his LiveJournal is verboten, his journals on FurAffinity are still readable, as he is (thanks to a rare but undeniably awesome display of furry backbone) unable to hide them. BALEETED

He uploads images of himself with alarming regularity, but his internet disease fails to conceal his

  • awful teeth
  • geeky stature
  • deathly pallor
  • NOT BEING A BAT
  • massive chin
  • lack of fashion sense
  • a chin so massive, it needs two mentions

SPEAKING OF WHICH

BATshit crazy. Also, KurtBatz == Jack Spicer?

It is rare, even on ED, to devote an entire article section to a small part of someone's anatomy. However, Kurt's chin deserves an exception to this rule. Popular myth suggests that Kurt was the recipient of the leftover chin which had been originally allocated to Chin-chan.

This just in!!

Kurtz's claims to actually be a bat are TRUE

HE IS REALLY BAT BOY!

NO SERIOUSLY:

  • OH GOD THE CHIN

    OH GOD THE CHIN

  • long lost relative?!?!

    long lost relative?!?!

LOOK AT THEIR MASSIVE CHINS. SRSLY YOU GUYS.

KurtBatz is still a faggot

Kurt often criticizesdeleted elements of the furry fandom, stating that his opinion is fact and inarguable. Of course, he is happy to crydeleted when he doesn't get his way. He sometimes threatens to leave the fandom but never does so, as the only "friends" he has are all, in fact, furries. Kurt is, however, happy with this, as he prefers his friends to be the kind of pathetic, spineless fuck common in the furry fandom. The staggeringly retarded army of sycophants at his beck and call allows him to say or do pretty much everything and still have the moral support of his friends list.

Kurt has a reputation for being a drama whore and an internet tough guy who will often make legal, social or physical threats when hidden behind his immaculately drawn avatars, but is in fact unwilling or unable to deliver on them in real life. He has gotten into at least 100 arguments with artists over late or unsatisfactory furry art commissions. He also has an obsession with babyfurs that goes beyond simple (and understandable) disgust into unhealthy single-mindedness. Given that fully half his friendslist are actually babyfurs, however, we can safely assume that Kurt is in fact a diaper-loving hypocrite. Kurt holds endless and lulz-inducing grudges against anyone who so much as looks at his sunglasses funny. A prime example would be his retarded, one-sided war with noted furry enfant terrible Arcturus. KurtBatz has also admitted to voluntarily reading the Daily Mirror and The Sun, conservative tabloid shitrags newspapers distributed in the UK, which confirms that KurtBatz also hates freedom, Americunts, and everyone else's opinion.

Some Amusing Pictures

People Kurt Has Started Shit With

Over the years, Kurt has started shit with many people. Always claiming they're the antagonists, Kurt's guano-flinging has many people very fucked off by his inability to take criticism or a logical argument, when he claims to be the most logical little shitstain goth on Earth.

And these are just the ones we know about. The artists he fucks with he often later asskisses in the hopes to re-establish a relationship with them so they'll give him free art.

Kurt's Hurts

After being thoroughly pwned by this article, Kurtbatz took the word "unwarranted" to the absolute next level. In a fit of spastic butthurt, he actually phoned up the parents of the article's original creator, not once, but twice, threatening legal action and all sorts of unpleasant bullshit that could only come out the mouth of a crazed denizen of E-tardoland. If anyone was on the fence before, the fact that Kurt put so much effort into finding Andreus's phone number and threatening his parents convinced them that he was, indeed, a fucking lunatic.

Fortunately for Andreus, Kurt may be crazy, but he is also a giant fucking coward. Having made threat after threat to 'fuck Andreus up' at the next LondonFur Meet, he did nothing at all when the time came. Instead, he sat in a corner and avoided Andreus for the entire day, like the classic internet tough guy he is. Lulz.

Kurt appeared not once, but twice on Drama_Awesome. In an almost unfathomable display of unity and effectiveness, the usually divided, argumentative and limp-wristed furry fandom almost universally pwned Kurt.

Then, after friends-only entries of his were leaked by one of his best friends because he couldn't take thirty seconds to check his friends-list for people sympathetic to the cause of lulz, Kurt flipped out and removed all of his friends from existence his friends-list.

LolArbChat

After Kurt cried about this article in his hugbox for a few hours, he came to Encyclopedia Dramatica:IRC to try and reason with the good people on that fair server. The chat was full of lulz, since Kurt was attempting to relate and empathize with EDiots despite quite obviously seething with rage and butthurt. 

Session Start: Tue Apr 10 01:53:43 2007
Session Ident: #arbchat
[01:53:43] * Now talking in #arbchat
[01:53:43] * Topic is 'arbchat is adjourned.�'
[01:53:43] * Set by yiri on Tue Apr 03 06:40:26
[01:54:05] * Homicide has joined #arbchat
[01:54:13] <yiri> sup
[01:54:19] <yiri> waiting for reply
[01:57:34] * cherri has joined #arbchat
[01:58:23] * yiri changes topic to 'kurtbatz arbchat- waiting for reply�'
[02:17:33] <DecadentMadness> hellp
[02:19:05] <Jasayan> Halp?
#arbchat You need voice (+v) (#arbchat)
[02:22:32] * lolwut has left #arbchat
[02:34:34] * KurtAFK has joined #arbchat
[02:34:49] * KurtAFK is now known as KurtBatz
[02:38:08] * yiri sets mode: +v KurtBatz
[02:38:12] <KurtBatz> Thank you
[02:38:20] * yiri changes topic to 'Kurtbatz arbchat�'
[02:38:25] <yiri> np
[02:38:37] * lolwut has joined #arbchat
[02:39:13] <KurtBatz> Just came in regarding the email I received
[02:39:52] <yiri> yep
[02:39:55] * yiri sets mode: -m
[02:40:04] <lolwut> penis?
[02:40:20] * Delvil has joined #arbchat
[02:40:48] <lolwut> So why did you come here KurtBatz?
[02:41:06] <KurtBatz> I was invited by Yiri
[02:41:12] * g0sp has joined #arbchat
[02:41:15] <lolwut> cool
[02:41:37] <yiri> KurtBatz: okay. Please state your main issue with the article
[02:41:51] <DecadentMadness> we only take down articles that aren't true. :/
[02:41:59] <yiri> generally.
[02:42:42] <lolwut> Why do you enjoy beating your dick to animals wearing diapers?
[02:42:45] <KurtBatz> The article consists of private information gleamed from my personal journal, consisted of nothing more than 'lulz, kurtbatz has a big chin' repeated over and over and was written by a furry with a grudge.
[02:42:49] <KurtBatz> it also contains no humour.
[02:42:53] <yiri> truth
[02:43:03] <yiri> some of it is kinda funny though
[02:43:13] <lolwut> I personally feel it's full of lulz
[02:43:19] <yiri> the chin stuff is kinda meh i agree
[02:43:42] <KurtBatz> I do have a long chin. Guilty as charged.
[02:43:49] <KurtBatz> But not reaaaally funny.
[02:43:54] <lolwut> It's huge
[02:43:56] <g0sp> Are you are are you not a furry?
[02:43:57] <lolwut> And it's hilarious
[02:43:58] * Autistic has joined #arbchat
[02:43:58] <KurtBatz> Yes it is.
[02:44:10] <Delvil> lolchins
[02:44:15] <lolwut> It's like God gave you a jew nose for a chin
[02:44:18] <KurtBatz> Chinny goodness.
[02:44:23] <lolwut> or he gave you chin-chan's chin
[02:44:28] <KurtBatz> I put Jimmy Hill to shame.
[02:44:34] <Autistic> More chins than a Chinese Phonebook?
[02:44:37] <lolwut> Why are you such an emo faggot?
[02:44:40] <lolwut> Please explain
[02:44:47] <Jasayan> Wait, this dude who trolled you is a furry? Is he REALLY? Confirm/deny.
[02:44:52] <KurtBatz> Confirm.
[02:45:08] <yiri> right
[02:45:12] <g0sp> and you are also a furry?
[02:45:22] <Delvil> you look like keanu reeves would if he had a cock in his ass 8 hours out of the day
[02:45:31] <Autistic> Furries trolling furries
[02:45:38] <lolwut> he looks like some sort of faggoty emo version of jay leno
[02:45:39] <KurtBatz> Yes, furries trolling furries.
[02:45:49] <Autistic> That's just fucking odd
[02:45:51] <g0sp> KurtBatz: You are in fact a furry, correct.
[02:45:52] <Delvil> well furry vs. furry = win for everyone else
[02:45:53] <yiri> sounds kinda lame personal stuff
[02:45:55] <g0sp> YOu need to answer the question sir.
[02:45:59] <KurtBatz> I did.
[02:46:02] <lolwut> answer it nao plox
[02:46:07] <Jasayan> KurtBatz: Does the article hurt you because it's full of falsehoods, or because it's full of truths that you dislike?
[02:46:10] <g0sp> no, you didn't
[02:46:15] <lolwut> i vote the latter  Jasayan
[02:46:16] <g0sp> ARE YOU CURRENTLY A FURRY.
[02:46:20] <DecadentMadness> ARE YOU A FURRY?
[02:46:21] * yiri sets mode: +cMo g0sp
[02:46:30] * yiri sets mode: -cM
[02:46:33] <yiri> i fail
[02:46:34] * KurtBatz chuckles at the madness.
[02:46:35] <Autistic> :o
[02:46:36] <lolwut> HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A FURRY?
[02:46:46] <g0sp> Answer the question that has been asked of you
[02:46:54] <g0sp> otherwise this arbchat is over and the article stays.
[02:47:02] <lolwut> I conclude that he is afraid to let us know that he really is a furry.
[02:47:05] <Delvil> Kurtbatz: you're just proving that you're a faggot right nao, and so article shouldn't be deleted. Great job!
[02:47:14] <lolwut> If he were not a furry he would have easily said no.
[02:47:14] <Jasayan> Wait guys wait
[02:47:21] <Jasayan> This other guy looks like more of a faggot.
[02:47:26] <Delvil> so?
[02:47:28] <g0sp> be quiet.
[02:47:29] <Autistic> As an autistic I approve of this faggotry
[02:47:29] <KurtBatz> Would you like photos of Andreus?
[02:47:30] <g0sp> Let him speak
[02:47:33] * eppigy has joined #arbchat
[02:47:35] <weev> KurtBatz: how about this
[02:47:39] <g0sp> No, I would like you to confirm or deny that you are a furry.
[02:47:41] <KurtBatz> I also have the naked photos of Arcturus that were requested a while back.
[02:47:42] <lolwut> The topic is KurtBatz right now Jasayan
[02:47:52] <Jasayan> lolwut: OKAY
[02:47:52] <g0sp> Also, there are some writings that I would like to verify with you
[02:48:08] <lolwut> KurtBatz Why are you completely obsessed with Arcturus?
[02:48:12] * weev sets mode: +b *!*hadowgame@*.plus.com
[02:48:12] * Autistic was kicked by weev (weev�)
[02:48:20] <lolwut> Do you crave his huge dick in your face?
[02:48:21] <g0sp> Unfortunately, this arbitration process does not work if you are not willing to cooperate.
[02:48:22] <DecadentMadness> ooh zong
[02:49:03] * KurtBatz smiles
[02:49:07] <lolwut> KurtBatz has nothing to say
[02:49:13] <lolwut> this arbchat = over?
[02:49:15] <KurtBatz> None of this offends me. What does make me chuckle is that the article was written by a furry.
[02:49:19] <g0sp> I'm sorry sir.  This is an arbitration.  This is a process that has rules.
[02:49:33] <g0sp> This is not monty python night at the drama club and this is not a time for you to parade your discordian wit.
[02:49:35] <Jasayan> KurtBatz: Lulz is still lulz, even if written by a furry.
[02:49:39] <Delvil> If you don't want the article taken down, why the fuck are you here bothering us?
[02:49:41] <g0sp> You will answer the questions that are asked or this arbchat is over
[02:49:46] <g0sp> and the article will stay.
[02:49:56] <DecadentMadness> actually
[02:50:06] <DecadentMadness> i'd like to write an article about these other furries
[02:50:14] <KurtBatz> I'd like to contribute to said article.
[02:50:16] <DecadentMadness> as well
[02:50:18] <yiri> ok. what we have is a hate article written by one furry to attack another
[02:50:20] <yiri> right?
[02:50:21] <DecadentMadness> yeah, you should send over those pictures. :)
[02:50:23] <KurtBatz> Yes Yiri.
[02:50:25] <lolwut> indeed we do
[02:50:27] <g0sp> yiri: Yes, I am preturbed by this
[02:50:28] <weev> kurtbatz
[02:50:28] <Delvil> I'd like to write an article about how KurtBatz's chin did WTC.
[02:50:29] <g0sp> but
[02:50:37] <DecadentMadness> Delvil: nice.
[02:50:37] <lolwut> please proceed Delvil
[02:50:38] <weev> what do you do for a lviing?
[02:50:47] <yiri> the points of the article are: a) big chin b)thinks he's a bat
[02:50:50] <yiri> right?
[02:51:00] <lolwut> c) the actual attack on 9/11
[02:51:13] <yiri> I WOULD LIKE A CONSENSUS FROM ALL NONINVOLVED USERS
[02:51:19] <yiri> article funny?
[02:51:22] <lolwut> yes
[02:51:25] <Jasayan> This seems especially likely, given that the writer states that the Jewish promised land is actually on Kurt's chin.
[02:51:33] <Jasayan> And as we all know, Jews did WTC.
[02:51:35] <g0sp> I think that all of these furry fagfests are horrible and should be lumped into one gigantic ball of faggotry
[02:51:49] <g0sp> this does not, however, excuse the fact that kurtbat is a horrendous failure
[02:51:59] * KurtBatz chuckles.
[02:52:07] <g0sp> stop emoting
[02:52:10] <lolwut> KurtBatz so you really think your a bat?
[02:52:14] <Delvil> though he succeeds at supporting Jews and killing American Citizens
[02:52:19] <yiri> lol question
[02:52:21] <g0sp> you are choking more dick than brad lidge in the 9th inning
[02:52:29] * Delvil was kicked by yiri (shut up, you are not relevant�)
[02:52:35] <KurtBatz> For the little to no difference it makes, I do not think I am a bat.
[02:52:42] <KurtBatz> The only true part of the article is that my chin is rather long.
[02:52:43] <g0sp> okay, kurtbatz
[02:52:47] <g0sp> here is a question that I have for you.
[02:52:49] <Jasayan> KurtBatz: Is it true that you suffer from penile disfiguration?
[02:52:55] * Delvil has joined #arbchat
[02:53:03] <Homicide> this is not the place for that, jas.
[02:53:13] <g0sp> People: I'm still a bat. My chan is still there, it's still for bats and people who like them. Unfortunately bats are rare, but just because I'm being a dolphin right now doesn't mean I abandoned anything.
[02:53:13] <g0sp> I've a dual thing about me going on here - My soul is male, so I have male representation which is Azzy the bat. My body is female, so I have female representation which is Wik'kk, the dolphin.
[02:53:25] <g0sp> Is this your livejournal, kurtbatz?
[02:53:32] <KurtBatz> No it isn't. 
[02:53:40] <KurtBatz> Spookily enough, my livejournal has my name on it.
[02:53:47] <g0sp> I go through cycles - Sometimes I wanna be a female, so then I'm Wik. Sometimes I wanna be a male, so I'm Azzy. I have strong ties to both animals.
[02:54:01] <yiri> g0sp: lol. where are you getting this from
[02:54:05] <weev> how are you denying that it is your lj
[02:54:06] <g0sp> hold on
[02:54:08] <weev> when you said earlier
[02:54:13] <g0sp> KurtBatz, you are DENYING this is your livejournal?
[02:54:14] <lolwut> so it's a lie that your livejournal doesn't say, and I quote "People. I'm still a bat.
[02:54:14] <weev> that we got info from your friendsonly posts
[02:54:36] <lolwut> weev that appears to really not be his livejournal
[02:54:46] <Jasayan> I agree with weev. Can we please have citations of what exactly was taken from your private LJ posts?
[02:54:49] <KurtBatz> It really isn't my livejournal.
[02:54:53] <weev> it is
[02:54:58] <weev> you're a fucking backpedaling faggot
[02:55:02] <weev> first it was that we got your friendsonly posts
[02:55:07] <weev> now its we never knew where your lj was at all?
[02:55:28] <lolwut> weev that isn't his LJ
[02:55:32] <Homicide> oh god it's going down hill. does anyone want me to keep the logs?
[02:55:34] <lolwut> however his real LJ still he says he is a bat
[02:55:37] <KurtBatz> This entire conversation is a weak attempt to milk lulz. However, the article itself, is shit and unfunny.
[02:55:44] <weev> okay kurtbatz
[02:55:48] <Homicide> lol furry
[02:55:50] <g0sp> allright.
[02:55:54] <g0sp> My suggestion, gentlemen.
[02:55:54] <weev> what are your proposed improvements to the article
[02:55:59] <Jasayan> KurtBatz: That depends entirely upon the subjective opinion of the person viewing it, confirm/deny
[02:56:03] <g0sp> The article stays up, and we kill this thing with fire.
[02:56:04] <KurtBatz> Confirm.
[02:56:10] <lolwut> Kurt Batz Born 5th Marche
[02:56:13] <lolwut> Is an
[02:56:23] <weev> KurtBatz: yo
[02:56:25] <yiri> what is a) the lj which is not yours b)the one which is
[02:56:26] <weev> what do you do for a living?
[02:56:34] <lolwut> anthro, crazed + kooky, quasi goth, metaller, strung out, male, �fruit bat�
[02:56:43] <Homicide> +hueg xbox chin
[02:56:44] <Jasayan> Oh shit son.
[02:56:50] <Homicide> also, give chin-chan her chin back
[02:57:04] <yiri> lulz, i liked that line
[02:57:22] <Jasayan> Guys, we're entirely missing the point
[02:57:34] <Jasayan> We need to assert whether or not his chin is over 9000
[02:57:42] <weev> it is.
[02:57:49] * weev sets mode: +m
[02:57:51] <Jasayan> WHAT 9000?
#arbchat You need voice (+v) (#arbchat)
[02:57:59] <weev> KurtBatz: WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?
[02:58:35] <KurtBatz> Unnecessary surgery.
[02:58:44] <weev> okay so
[02:58:51] <KurtBatz> ..and chin extensions.
[02:59:03] * BURK has joined #arbchat
[02:59:28] <yiri> heh
[02:59:30] * lolwut is now known as BeSerious
[02:59:51] <g0sp> http://azraelwings.livejournal.com/2869.html?thread=29749#t29749 
[02:59:58] <g0sp> your content in this thread is still lulzy
[03:00:15] <g0sp> I say that you are a failure and everything that comes out of your mouth is suspect.  
[03:00:15] <yiri> ok. Main questions.
[03:00:22] <yiri> A: is this funny
[03:00:29] <yiri> B: Is the reaction funny
[03:00:30] * BeSerious is now known as Yes
[03:00:37] <yiri> C: Is he relevant
[03:00:42] <g0sp> I say that the article is funny because it makes him so angry.
[03:01:02] <yiri> to me
[03:01:06] <g0sp> Honestly, he's fortunate that he's fighting with furfags and someone interesting doesn't decide to rewrite the article to make it hilarious.
[03:01:07] <yiri> he is not seeming angry
[03:01:08] * Yes is now known as lolwut
[03:01:14] <g0sp> but more damning.
[03:01:29] <weev> KurtBatz: how much will you donate to ED to have your article softened up or taken down?
[03:01:38] <yiri> i am out #ed
[03:01:42] <yiri> #arbchat 
[03:01:44] <yiri> w/e
[03:01:50] <yiri> gl with that weev
[03:01:59] * yiri is now known as yiri|away
[03:02:05] <KurtBatz> I do not think the article is funny, I am not freaking out enough to make this worthwhile and I'm not internet famous enough for such an article.
[03:02:22] <KurtBatz> Plus, said content was submitted by a fur.
[03:02:29] <g0sp> YOu should answer weev's question.
[03:02:31] <KurtBatz> Which is grounds for hyper-lulz by itself.
[03:02:38] * loljews has joined #arbchat
[03:02:54] <g0sp> At any rate I would be willing to see the article taken down if you and all of yours promise to never, ever crawl out of your internet ghettos again.
[03:03:23] <Jasayan> Objection.
#arbchat You need voice (+v) (#arbchat)
[03:03:32] <KurtBatz> I promise to stop being a furry and to burn all my teddies and stop rubbing my legs to cartoon porns.
[03:04:10] * Delvil is now known as lolHIV
[03:04:26] * Homicide is now known as An_Hero
[03:05:00] <g0sp> you should answer weev's question
[03:05:40] <KurtBatz> I'd consider a ten bucks donation, if I'm given editing (not vandalism) rights.
[03:06:02] <KurtBatz> Because I have gotten lulz from reading ED previously.
[03:06:08] * yiri|away is now known as yiri
[03:06:10] <weev> osunds good 2 me
[03:07:03] * lolHIV is now known as FurryEditor
[03:07:21] * loljews has quit IRC (Ping timeout�)
[03:07:58] * FurryEditor is now known as Delvil
[03:14:53] * RedMachineD has joined #arbchat
[03:17:35] * yiri changes topic to 'arbchat concluded.�'
[03:17:38] * yiri has left #arbchat
[03:18:03] * KurtBatz has left #arbchat
Session Close: Tue Apr 10 03:19:46 2007

However, because Kurt is Jew and never handed over his measly tenbux the article remained unmolested.

Screenshots Or It Didn't Happen

After removing Filthy Animal from his LiveJournal friends list during the recent dramafest, Kurt forgot one major thing -- remove her old abandoned art journal, too, you DIPSHIT. While normally Filthy would have left this alone, Kurt is fucking crazy, and reading into his friends only entries that he still allowed her into was just too damn tempting, knowing he'd be shit-talking her and her friends as well. So for lulz sake, here are screenshots from his friends only entries during the Andreus and Kurt dramallamafest.

  • Entry 1

    Entry 1

  • Entry 2

    Entry 2

  • Entry 3; LEAVING THE FANDOM FUREVER

    Entry 3; LEAVING THE FANDOM FUREVER

  • 350 FRIENDS LUL

    350 FRIENDS LUL

  • That picture was AGAINST you, idiot.

    That picture was AGAINST you, idiot.

  • It's making me ILL.

    It's making me ILL.

  • Plotting making ED articles.

    Plotting making ED articles.

  • YOU'RE SO OFF MY FLIST D:<

    YOU'RE SO OFF MY FLIST D:<

  • Ripping off Andreus' fingernails?! WHAT?!

    Ripping off Andreus' fingernails?! WHAT?!

  • The flist cut happens.

    The flist cut happens.

  • It has been confirmed that Noone likes Andreus.

    It has been confirmed that Noone likes Andreus.

  • And one more for lulz.

    And one more for lulz.

Intergalactic Space Ninjas

The incredibly sinister machinations of the incredibly sinister team of incredibly sinister ninjas LOL FUR FAGS

Through arcane livejournal wizardry and observation of this article's original author's faggy livejournal, it has become apparent that Kurt has employed a team of highly experienced Intergalactic Space Ninjas to roll the original author's house in a drive-by-ninja-shootout in which some argue that the original author will most definetely die pleading for his life.

Quotes

  • "You're just another non-bat in a non-bat society."
  • "I call bullshit"
  • "I know a heck of a lot of people"
  • "I will make your life a living hell"
  • "I will destroy you as an artist, I will have everyone hating you before your head stops spinning."
  • (Referring to this article's original author) "KurtisBatz (6:48:37 PM): Because I want him dead."
  • "A furry trying to mock another furry is an exercise in fail, even by normal interweb standards."
  • "I wouldn't worry about it, shit for brains. You're not even worth the effort, you piece of shit. I wouldn't go back in there for a bet."
  • "I understand your logic. Oh no...wait....... You're mentally retarded. Doh."
  • "Others have seen the consequences of pushing me too far and I'll /gladly\ do the same for you. Not too late to stop, but I throughly suggest you do so right about now."
  • "Considering I have nothing whatsoever to do with the forums anymore, could you PLEASE stop badmouthing me behind my back? Thank you." (See irony)
  • "This entire thread is the biggest fail to ever fail a fail. Please delete yourself for the good of the entire internets."
  • "Care to justify yourself this time, you pathetic little gobshite?"
  • "It seems I have endless ammounts of patience for you clownshoes"
  • "You sir, are a bumblefuck"
  • "Lamentably, the word I have to describe you, bumblefuck, doesn't feature." (when asked by Industrialwolf on LJ to come up with a better word for a comeback than "fail")
  • "Roll roll roll a spliff, Light it at one end, Take a hit and pass it on Share it with your friends o/~" [1]
  • "Remind me to send you some photos of this guy. You will not *BELIEVE* how retardedly fucking ugly he is." (Again, see irony)
  • "I am giving everyone fair warning now. He had BETTER not be there. I am asking him to be banned from future meets or I promise I am going to explode. I'm going to fuck him up."
  • "It just destroys me sometimes when I get humiliated like that for no reason whatsoever. It's like karma biting me on the ass when I haven't been giving it out. I get so goddamn frustrated." (Linking to irony is getting old at this point)
  • "As the one solitary person who actually commented on the drama_awesome post to defend me, don't think I didn't notice." (Failing to understand the significance of the fact that out of his 350 LJ friends, only one of them defended him)
  • "Over the last week, I’ve seen the very worst this fandom has to offer and I have no interest in embroiling myself in it anymore. I’m not ‘leaving the fandom’, but I am distancing myself from it a great deal, like my friend Jules has been suggesting for a while." (Kurt leaves the fandom forever)
  • "Essentially I think it spoils down to a contempt for authoritarian figures, a lack of social ability and an a-typical, spoilt little brat, heavily-bullied-at-school-to-the-point-where-he-still-sees-psychiatrists-about-it-now-due-to-being-a-gimpy-little-ET-lookalike rolled into one." (Accuses enemies of being emo)
  • "Please tell me that picture doesn't mean what I think it means, because I'll have to go home from work right now if it does. I'm on the knifes edge of bursting into a flood of tears here." (Taken into context with the above comment, massive irony lulz ensue)
  • "That said, have found out the hard way what a nasty, petulant little two-faced bitch Azzy is first hand by having my private logs between me and her posted everywhere for the purposes of drama" (Look, can we all just accept the blanket statement that Kurt is a hypocrite and most if not all of his posts will be ironic, OK? kthx)
  • "You think you're so clever, but you're not. Every time you make a "secret" friends-only post about me, I have about ten people on your friends list offering to copy and paste if for me" (Yet he still cannot take people posting shit from his friends-only posts, lulz)
  • "#babyfur. It's always nice to know that you're being insulted by a kiddyfucker fantasist, isn't it?" (Kurt alienating the majority of his friendslist)
  • <KurtBatz> I also have the naked photos of Arcturus that were requested a while back. (In ArbChat. LOLSTALKER)

Further Reading

See Also


I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...
I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...
 KurtBatz is part of a series on
GOTH
[Grow up and quit whiningEmbrace your inner darkness]
I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...
I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...

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