Jim Davidson

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HOLY SHIT 'ES A FAAAAACKIN' NONCE, M8!!!! NO HE IS INOCEN LVE JIM ALON"!!!!!!!1
Closet homosexual pedophile, Jim Davidson

Jim Davidson is an English working man's club comedian, who endeavours to carry on the fine British comedy tradition of racist and sexist jokes.

His stand-up routine is a cutting-edge combination of jokes about niggers, cripples, teh gheys, and anyone who isn't white, English, and from Londonistan. This usually generates vast amounts of drama. Some have argued that he does it for the lulz, except it isn't funny.

In September 2007, Jim Davidson was thrown out of a reality TV show for calling a fag a fag. Truly the ZOG machine has won.


Quotes

A fine example of British Comedy circa 2005


   
“ 		 
Hi Folks! Glad to be back in sooouuff Lahndahn! Corrr blimey, Croydon used to be a nice town, didn’t it? It’s all full of niggers now though, no offence! Waaaheeey!! Probably loads of gaaaays too, eh? Loads of bum-bandits, eh? Pink-pirates, eh? Anal astronauts, eh? Cackpipe cosmonauts, eh?

It's the trams what do it, I tell you guvvernor. Well, as I always say, Cum-cum-cum-cum-look-I-made-a-joke-because-come-sounds-like-cum-which-means-ejaculate-cum-cum…
 

„
  		 

—Typical Davidson joke.


   
“ 		 
Three men walk into a pub. An Sand niggers, nigger, and an India, but then they all fuck off back where they came from and the joke ends
  		„
  		 

—Cutting edge satire we've come to expect from Jim


   
“ 		 
JEWS DID WTC. LOL
  		„
  		 

—Sometimes he gets it right


Drama

The shirtlifter in question.

In September of 2007, Jim was kicked off the celebrity reality TV show 'Hell's Kitchen' for insulting another fail celebrity, Big Brother contestant Brian Dowling, by calling him a 'shirtlifter', which is UK slang for a gay. Although this was an entirely accurate assessment of his deviant lifestyle, the media collectively shat bricks and demanded his head. Even the notoriously right wing newpaper The Daily Heil jumped on the 'Fuck Jim' bandwagon.

No stranger to controversy, four years earlier he cancelled gigs because disabled audience members at one of his performances refused to be moved from the front row. Given the Nazi's policy towards the handicapped, it wasn't the best move on their part. But then they are mentals.


   
“ 		 
I wheely hate those fucking cripples
  		„
  		 

—Jim's official response to the drama

Eventually, after even the cripples and mental defectives decided they didn't want to watch him any more, Jim was reduced to prancing around in tights in front of those too young to know any better. But it would seem that even they don't care for Jim and his controversial humor.

 
“ 		 
Jim Davidson was furious after being put in his place – by a heckling boyscout.

The 53-year-old comic was said to be seething after receiving foul-mouthed abuse from the junior punter during a packed pantomime.

Davidson, in character as Dick Whittington, asked the Kent audience: "Do you know who I am?"

And the scout, in full uniform, ‘brought the house down’ by yelling back: "Yes, you’re a fucking wanker."

According to The Sun, Davidson spent the rest of the half with a scowl on his face. He went to try to find the scoutmaster in the foyer during the interval ‘to give him a piece of his mind’, but to no avail.

The comic, who used to be a scout himself, was apparently left ‘speechless’, with an unnamed source saying: "He didn’t like the fact he was being laughed at."

The newspaper has now put an appeal out to the lad, whose interruption came during the Sunday matinee performance at the 920-seat Orchard Theatre in Dartford.
 

„
 

—UK comedy website, Chortle, reporting on Jim getting pwned by a little kid.

Gallery

The follolwing pictures prove, for a fact, that Jim Davidson loves buttsecks with Nick Griffin, leader of the British National Party.

KILL IT WITH FIRE

A commufag demonstrates the correct application of Jim Davidson to fire.

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Nick nick

As police investiations into light entertainment deviants continued in the wake of the Jimmy Savile loldrama, cockerney geezah Jim Davidson came out to blame it all on the 'loony left' and vocally announce that he was not involved at all but was, nevertheless, afraid he might be accused. Which is kind of odd, considering that, until he mentioned it, nobody had given any thought to Jim Davidson possibly being involved at all. However, in a shocking turn of events nobody saw coming, Davidson was arrested on the 2nd of January 2013, resulting in the abrupt cancellation of his planned appearance on Celebrity Big Brother.

NEWSFLASH ... In August 2013, the Crown Prosecution Service dropped all charges against JD, saying that there was insufficient evidence to expect a reasonable chance of conviction.

This is completely unrelated to Davidson's connections with the Royal Family:

Anway, forget I said that. Where were we? Oh yeah: The unfunny cunt was said to be "pleased" at the CPS decision. (I bet you were, Jim. Let's not forget that you still face one outstanding charge arising from Yewtree, which is due to be examined by the Falkland Islands police force).


   
“ 		 
Secret networks of Freemasons have been used by organised crime gangs to corrupt the criminal justice system, according to a bombshell Metropolitan Police report leaked to The Independent. Operation Tiberius, written in 2002, found underworld syndicates used their contacts in the controversial brotherhood to “recruit corrupted officers” inside Scotland Yard, and concluded it was one of “the most difficult aspects of organised crime corruption to proof against”.
  		„
  		 

—The Independent, 13 January 2014

PS (irrelevant)

None of the crimes for which JD was not prosecuted involved any children. Therefore it stands to reason that other crimes for which he may yet be prosecuted did involve some children. So calling him a nonce is fine. QED.


See also

Jim Davidson
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