Adobe® Photoshop®

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	“	you looked good... ... until your 30 day trial of photoshop expired	„
	—Typical.

Adobe® Photoshop® is the internet's premier photo editing software. Its very advanced features, present in no other image manipulation software, allow you to perform complex tasks such as creating desktop wallpapers of your favorite Anime characters and airbrushing your webcam pictures to remove rolls of fat and pimples.

Nobody knows how much Adobe® Photoshop® costs or how Adobe® can still make money because nobody has ever actually purchased a copy of it before. Every copy of Adobe® Photoshop® in use today is actually the same pirated copy that has been in circulation for several years.

If you wish to indicate that an image has been altered using the Adobe® Photoshop® program, the only acceptable way of saying so is as follows: "This image seems as though it has been enhanced with Adobe® Photoshop® software." The term "photoshopped" is incorrect and a violation of the Adobe® Photoshop® trademark.

Photoshop® Contests

Recent™ versions of Adobe® Photoshop© have approximately® over 9000 features™. Exactly two of them (Rotate Canvas and Auto Levels©) are actually useful for touching up your vacation pictures. The only legitimate use® for the approximately 96,999,998© other features is to enter a "Photoshop® contest." Whoever spends hours® making the best fake photograph wins the prize©. Since the only advantage™ of photography over drawing is that it's faster and more accurate, this practice™ is unbelievably stupid.

Riding on the coattails of their program's massive success, the creators at Adobe® thought that it would be interesting to start up their own competition with the people who use Photoshop®. They sent out e-mails to the people that actually registered the program to explain the rules. The ten people with registered copies worked day and night. No one won the competition, many bawwed and Adobe® ran away from the competition ideas that they had.

Asking for help

Use scrollbar to see the full image

If you suck at Photoshop®, never on any occasion ask for help online.

Our rendition:

Sites with Photoshop® Contests

Something Awful
Fark
Worth 1000
Cracked.com
4chan's /b/ board

People who use Photoshop®

Camwhores
/b/-tards
underage girls
Pedophilia
Best Korea
Furfag
Weaboos
You

Free Alternatives to Photoshop®

The best open sores alternative to Photoshop® is The PIMP.

The best proprietary, patented, copyrighted, restricted, DRM-infected, homosexual alternative is Irfanview.

If you are looking for an MS Paint on steroids, you'd probably like Paint.NET

Gallery

Photoshop® Gallery About missing Pics

What happens when a 16-year-old girl has enough hard-earned money to buy Adobe® Photoshop®.
What happens when a 13-year-old boy pirates Adobe® Photoshop®.
A camwhore will often deny using Photoshop®.
What happens when these camwhores are too stupid to pirate software and go to /b/ for help.
An illegitimate instance of use for image enhancement of Adobe® Photoshop®.