Thomas Beatie
—That last line contains the most lulz. |
Thomas Beatie is a semi post-op female to male transgender attention whore. She recently became famous by announcing to world that "he" is the world's first pregnant man. Naturally, an announcement such as this can only be made on daytime television. She is a huge Fag that only changed sexes to get famous.
The world's first pregnant man, or rather, the world's 6 billionth pregnant woman
—Thomas Beatie, not a man. |
This was originally thought to be an April Fools' Day joke by Faux News. If only.
Even though it's not a joke, it also isn't the scientific breakthrough it may seem to be. Thomas Beatie was actually born Tracy Lagondino, a full-fledged woman with a vagina, uterus, eggs and kitchen-know-how. Not some XXY mutant freak with an overdeveloped clit like Chyna, but a actual dainty dame.
At some point in her twisted life she chose to feel like a man trapped in a woman's body because she's a total attention whore, and decided to have gender reassignment surgery. Unfortunately, the surgeon did a half-assed job and left her vag intact. One of the deciding factors in determining if someone is a man or a woman, is usually whether they are a plug or a socket, but for some reason Tracy decided to become a malformed half man, half woman, half pig with no tits and no penis.
But because of her surgery, she is "legally" considered a man, thus, Thomas might get into the history books on a technicality for being the first pregnant man (See also Barry Bonds).
Since even a fucking 5 year old knows men have a penis, and women have a hatchet wound, Thomas' only real claim to fame is trolling Oprah and the American public.
Unholy Union
Thomas and her bull-dyke wife Nancy devised their plan to spit in God's face more than a couple years ago. Nancy, the real woman, had previously had her uterus yanked out by a rabid monkey at a petting zoo, so she was unable to get preggo by Thomas' nonexistent sperm.
Unlike most couples married in a house of God, being down one uterus did not leave the Beaties out of the baby race. Since Jesus no longer liked Nancy, Thomas decided to go off her Testosterone regimen, and get knocked up the old fashioned way; with some anonymous sperm and a Turkey baster. God once again told them to "knock it the fuck off" by giving Thomas an ectopic pregnancy, which required the doctors to remove one of her fallopian tubes (egg chutes). They didn't just go adopt a needy child instead of contributing to the overpopulation because they're selfish attention whores.
UPDATE
On 4th July 2008 Thomas Beatie, a low-life degenerate cum-dumpster, gave birth to a girl - thus creating a completely cock-free family. What a sad, pitiful thought.
There are three possible outcomes to this unholiest of births:
- The spawn will become like the one who bore it, becoming a man-hating bulldyke until it re-assigns it's gender to become a cock-hungry faggot - having been deprived of a juicy penis for so long.
- It will go through its whole life thinking it's a boy, thus becoming the arch-enemy of Chris Crocker.
- It will become an hero. If someone doesn't get there first.
Oprah appearance
Beatie's appearance caused a stir among many who questioned the lengths some of Oprah's female viewers were going to to get on her show. Oprah herself responded to this in an interview with some news-reporter.
Reporter: "Given what Thomas did, what do you think the average female viewer will now have to do to get on your show?"
Oprah: "Well I don't know, Thomas really raised the bar. I'd think someone would have to cut off their arm at the elbow and sew it to half of a dismembered snake creating some sort of hybrid limb that hisses and spits venom. Or maybe cut off their ears and sew them to their elbows, it's gonna be tough."
SHE'S PREGNANT AGAIN!
Just when you thought things couldn't get any more fucked up she got pregnant again. I think she's trying to recreate spermcube.
AND A THIRD RUNT CAME ALONG
And holy fuck, a third unfortunate soul was born. When will this tragedy end? The world may never know when this cum-dumper who is supposedly a man will stop shoving the poor sperm up her crusty cunt.
The cancer that is apparently killing JewTube
The whore made a YouTube account a while back, and uploaded so far three videos of faggotry. The 2nd video shows her shoving the 3rd child out of her cunt. But thanks to her account, there is a segment in one video of the bitch drinking alcohol, finally revealed as the reason of her lesbian behaviours.
See also
- Pregnant
- Pregnophile
- Juliana Wetmore Thomas gets a healthy baby girl - this normal couple get a mutant. God does have a sense of humour.
- How is babby formed?
- YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG
- Snapesnogger Considering Beatie is an azn, she's probably drooling all over her . . .
- Mpreg Nice try "Thomas".
External links
- Some story about her or something.
- People agree; she's a chick, and an attention whore.
- This particular blog is sympathetic to Thomas. It also has articles laughing at female celebrities for getting knocked-up.
- They're going to make a movie about it. Yes, really.
- And a book.
ThomasBeatie Official YT channel of cancer and moar faggotry. (ENTER WITH CAUTION)
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